Drowning
I do not own any of the characters from Supernatural. The only thing that belongs to me is this fan fiction.
Warning: This is an AU fan fiction, as well as Slash. (Destiel)*
Stone wings don't fly
Dean Winchester sat at the bar, swirling a dark, alcoholic beverage in his hand and staring into it's color before drinking the glass empty. He was used to this, lonely nights at a bar, drinking until he couldn't think straight and stumbling to a motel before passing out on one of the dusty beds. He'd wake up in the middle of the night under the blankets, frantically looking around in hopes that the being that held those captivating and intense blue eyes would be sitting on the bed with that same concerned look he always had, but it didn't happen that way. Not anymore. Those final words of goodbye rang in the back of his mind forever, how his heart shattered in his chest, turning to dust and coming up his throat to form a dry sob, though not in front of his best friend. No. That showed weakness and Dean wasn't weak, he was strong. So he liked to think, but he needed Castiel, no matter how much he wanted to deny it.
"Dean... I cannot protect you if you keep pushing me away... I want to help you... We're family." These words came from lips he'd wanted to kiss. Lips he'd wanted to submit to like a new religion that he'd gladly beg on his knees for, but he pushed that urge deep inside of him, locking it away.
"Cas... You know that I can handle myself... I don't need you around acting like my mom. You're being no better than Sam. Fuck, I can't feel like that again. I worry about you... And that could get me killed." Dean breathed, words burning on his lips and tongue, causing him to hiss to himself. The pain in Castiel's face made him shudder. He looked like he was going to cry.
"As you wish, Dean." He whispered, blue meeting green in an intense stare. Would that be the last time Dean would see those striking blue eyes? God, he hoped not. He needed to feel those eyes on him for as long as possible... Don't leave yet, just stare into my eyes until I have the courage to tell you...
"Cas... I..." Dean's words refused to force themselves from his throat, it made him choke slightly, eyes burning. I love you! Goddamn it! He wanted to scream it, to grip Castiel's shoulders and kiss him with the passion and heat of a thousand suns, but the words just couldn't come out.
"It's fine, Dean. I understand... I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable, or 'smothered'." He smiled slightly, sadly. "Goodbye, Dean. Maybe we'll meet again."
And Dean was alone.
Dean stared at bottom of his drink glass and ordered another, sipping this one slowly. Cas... It was the only thing he could think about. Just him in general... the way he looked and smelled... How he tasted... Like a hard liquor, but a sweet honey at the same time, a taste that made him drunk on contact. He wanted to feel those lips pressed to his in a needy manner like that one night so many months ago. He slowly closed his eyes, mind drifting to that night. Two bodies tangled in a sweaty and needy fit of passion under cheap motel sheets. Blunt nails digging into soft flesh of someone's back. The moon illuminated their faces, intense green meeting an intense blue, each body moving against the other. The push and slow pull. He felt Castiel's knees brush his bicep, soft moans and grunts coming from those plush lips... His adam's apple bobbing with each thick swallow and shaky breath that emitted. Dean...
The whisper of his name was something he missed almost more than the touch of needy hands on flesh, the press of their burning hot bodies together... His breath on his shoulder... The shuddering as they reached a new high point... The look in those eyes. This man was so beautiful at that moment in time he could have wept... Fingers curled around crisp, white sheets. Toes curled in pure ecstasy, eyes wide open as he cried out one word:
Dean.