Author's Note: THIS IS YOAI! TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DO NOT LIKE! (Though I doubt you'd be here anyways.)
Major, major OOC Itachi on the rampage. I did this because Otaku-sama (xOtakux2002x from DeviantArt) has gotten me hooked on making Itachi look small and breakable. Everyone says he's emotionless, but that's not possible. So, he probably does have emotions, merely hiding them away and bottling them.
If you do not like this turn back now. Yes, I know it's far from great. Now, please excuse me while I go brush out the cavities I got from writing this. Please and thank you.
Constructive critism is loved, and flames shall set be stuck in my old-fashion chimney to warm my feet.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto; though it'd be my dream to own Kisame and Zetsu (Hint hint Kishimoto-sama, hint hint!). It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto!
I was told emotions made you weak. Anger, hate, irritation. Love, happiness, joy. So, I shut them out, and became stronger. Much stronger. I lived without emotion, forcing myself never to feel anything. And, when there was a flutter, of anything at all, I would mentally punish myself. I was emotionless. I killed my whole clan, not feeling anything. Simply a slight contentment. But, then, you were sent to pick me up. You. I watched you, my eyes hard and my face straight. But, of course, I knew from the beginning. I felt a flutter. And, after all these - what, six years? – I still feel it. Why?
I try to ignore you. But you- You! You'd gladly give your life for me. You've saved me so many times. We've saved each other countless times. You smile, let your anger out, are easily irritated. Yet you're so strong and skilled. I admire you. I do more than admire you, but that's all I want to feel. But I still feel more. Every time I see you smile, my heart pounds in my chest like a jackhammer. I try and stop it, because it's so loud you might hear it, but it keeps going. I scream inside my head, telling myself over and over- But it doesn't work. Never. So, I keep a straight face. I tell you that you're an idiot when you screw something up, like I would with anyone else. But you're not anyone else.
I think you don't care. Whenever I hurt you, slag you down, you simply pout and tell me it's not true. Then, the next moment, you're laughing and joking again. I fear. Because of you, I fear. I fear that this is more than a simple partnership. I fear that if you find out, about everything, that- I fear you'll reject me. When you smile, and grin, it's like the whole world lights up. When you tap me on the shoulder, or drag me somewhere, I feel exhilarated. When we first met, it was attraction. But now, because of you, I feel so many emotions. I can't let any of them out. Not one, because, if I do, I fear. Fear is what I feel when you leave, because I feel safe with you. And, I also fear when you're with me, because if I let something slip – I'll lose you. I know I will.
I can't handle that idea. It just came out of nowhere, recently, the idea that you'd found out. I'd let something small slip, and you- You'd be horrified, because you understood the deeper, greater meaning behind it. You'd leave. And I'd sit there, for hours on end, wondering why. So, I keep my mouth shut. I glare at you, when I'd normally be annoyed. And, inside, I hate everything that I do that brings you harm. I want to hold you, or be held, not hit you. And, when I see you hurt, it's all I can do to turn a cold shoulder. I don't dare speak when it's just us anymore. No, I'd rather bask in the knowledge that you'll always be by my side, whether you know how I fell or not.
"Hey, 'tachi! Still brooding?" You call. I looked at you, taking in every detail of your face, as I normally do. "Hn." I reply, as usual, slowly standing up. You laughed at my reply, which made me slightly… warm inside. "I'll take that as a yes, then." You joked, before shaking your head. You hefted Samehada, like it were a small butcher's knife. Your strength is incredible, I'll give you that much. I resist the heavy urge to stare, and turn away. You're almost ten whole years older than me, but you've never called me "Kid". Never insulted me in anyway, though I do. I do all the time. I call you an idiot, or ignore you for days. Why don't you care? Maybe, if I knew you hated me, then I could hate you. And all the unnecessary feelings could wash away.
"Yo, 'tachi!" You yell, and I snap back to reality. Your hand's on my shoulder, shaking me slightly. Your face is a strange mixture between annoyance and humour. You are so, so close. Far too close. I could almost feel your breath. "Stop spacing out on me! You'll be no use to the mission like this!" You yell, half growling, unintentionally. I pull away, glaring like usual. I turn, my back to you, and sort out my composure. Before I can retort with the oh-so-familiar "I am more useful than you, even in this state", you spoke. Your voice was softer, and almost melodious. "Is something wrong?" I felt your palm on my shoulder, applying a small amount of pressure. "You've been psyched out for the whole mission."
I pull away, not wanting to be so close. "I'm fine. Slightly tired, but fine." I lie, before taking a few steps away from you. "You wouldn't be tired if you de-activated your Sharingan" You countered. So, even though it risked both our lives, and put me in an extreme disadvantage should we be ambushed, I did. I de-activated my Sharingan. "Happy now?" I reply, turning towards you, so you could see my eyes. "Very." You smile, and my heart rate speeds up. "Whatever Kisame. You're far too easy to please." I retort, and heard a soft snort to reply. "I prefer to be easy to please over being impossible to please, Itachi-san." You laugh, and my heart rate speeds up, even more. "Actually, I'm not impossible to please." I snapped, before turning away again.
"Oh, yeah, right!" Came your reply. "What, exactly, would please you Itachi?" You sneered. I glared at your form, temper rising but kept in check. It only just hit me how close you were. A foot away, maximum. "What would please an emotionless murderer?" You hissed. I knew you were on one of your rants again. Losing your temper. I knew you were shouting at me. And I knew you were angry at me. But all I could do was stare at you lips, so close and tentative. I half wondered what it would feel like, your lips pressed against my own. And then, without thinking, I found out. I kissed You.
I didn't realise what I was doing until my brain had registered that you had stopped shouting. My eyes flickered open, to see you looking incredibly shocked. I pulled away, and saw that your mouth was wide open. And you were about to talk. I didn't want to hear it. So, I ran. I ran into the surrounding forest, ignoring the cries of "Itachi!" that soon followed. I just couldn't believe it. And I knew this wasn't a dream, because the searing anger towards myself, and the grief were all too real to ignore. I started to shake. I was so afraid. So upset. Is it possible to be an emotionless emotional wreck?
I was acting like such a… woman. I felt like crying, knowing what I had done. I tried the block the emotions out. But they were coming in swarms, and I fear I'll never get rid of them this time. They just won't go away. I screamed, clutching my head. It was a savage scream, sounding more like a howl than anything else. Then, before I know it, I heard a tut. My head whipped up, and I saw a man in front of me. A man I knew as a bounty hunter. He was laughing. "Poor, poor Uchiha. Going through a rough patch?" He mocked, and I glared in reply, automatically activating the Sharingan. Then, you had to turn up, didn't you?
"Leave Kisame, I can take care of him myself." I said, monotonously, not taking my eyes off the man. "No." You replied bluntly. I felt like punching you at that moment in time. "There's more around." You added, hand waving over the trees that surrounded us. I already knew that, though. "Smart sharky." The man said, sarcastically, and I felt intense anger flow through me. It quickly dissipated, under my command. Now, in a battle, was no time to get emotional. "You're going to die." I stated simply, to the man, pulling out a kunai. You smiled, whilst pulling Samehada off of your back. "I suggest you come out now, or your little friend's gonna die slowly and painfully!" You threatened, and, sure enough, people did come out.
They jumped in front of the first man. "Hey, Itachi, you think you can handle twenty?" You asked, all jokiness that would usually ensue during battle gone from your voice. It sounded strained, not that I had expected differently. I nodded once, and then looked towards the group. This was going to help with the emotions. The first broke off from the group, running up to you. You sliced him in half quickly. "What happened to torture?" I asked, not daring to glance at you. "I want this battle to end quickly. You have some explaining to do." You said, and I swallowed a lump in my throat I hadn't realised existed. Great.
--
Two left. I heard you panting slightly, and sighed. You decapitated one of them, and turned to me. One left. I nodded, already knowing what you expected, and turned towards the final one. I killed him quickly, instead of torturing him. To torture him would only lengthen the wait to the inevitable, and, therefore, would be torturing myself. He slumped to the floor, dead. None left. There was a long, awkward silence, whilst I just stared at the blood which soiled the bright green grass that lay below. Finally, the silence was broken. "Why did you kiss me?" You asked. Your voice was so full of wonder. I winced, and realised I couldn't do this. I couldn't get shot down. Not by you.
I jumped into the nearest tree, and attempted to make my get away. "Itachi!" You roared. I could hear you pounding after me, and I tried to speed up. But I was tired, and you weren't. You were coming closer. "Itachi!" You yelled, grabbing my arm. You jumped to the floor, and I followed by force. I found my head buried in your chest, your strong arms wrapped around me. I wondered how many times I had dreamed of this, in different circumstances. Your chin rested on my head. You stood there for what seemed like an eternity, and then you ruined the tranquillity. You spoke.
"Itachi, why did you kiss me?" You asked, voice soft, as if you were worried for my health. "I don't know." I lied. I was still afraid. You sighed heavily. "You wouldn't have run away twice if you didn't know." You argued, voice still soft. I sighed, yet relaxed into your arms, clutching your cloak tightly, as if you were about to run away. Because, in all honesty, that's what I expected you to do. I didn't know what to say. I didn't have an excuse. I didn't want you to go. So, instead of speaking, I began to cry. It didn't help. It made me feel worse. Not only did you now hate me, but you thought I was trying to guilt trip you out of hating me. I slowly sank to the floor, never having cried so much in my life.
"Itachi." You murmured, breath tickling my ear. You, once again, wrapped your arms around me. I just sat there and cried. You were going to hate me. Hell, you hated me already. No amount of emotional training could prepare me for that moment. I was in love, or, at least, the ninja equivalent, and I was about to get my heart broken into itty bitty pieces. But, instead of the speech about 'How you weren't like me, how you didn't like me, etc.', I felt that fabulous feeling. Your lips pressed onto mine. The tears stopped flowing, and, instead of helping, I let you kiss me. You kiss me. But, unfortunately, you pulled away, hands firmly grasping onto my shoulders.
"Why?" I asked, looking into your eyes. But yours evaded mine. "'Tachi, turn off your Sharingan." You half asked, half ordered, and I did as I was told. "Why?" I asked again, and, this time, your eyes looked into mine. "I was returning the favour." You smirked, and kissed me again, lightly. "You gonna tell me why you kissed me now?" You asked, and I sighed. "Kisame, I- I think that I'm slightly- well, more than slightly-" I was stumbling over my words. Uchiha's do not stumble over their words. "I think I like you." I said, finally, and, strangely, you didn't seem too surprised. "I had thought so for a while. I wanted to make sure." You smirked, before quickly kissing me again. I was still wondering if this was some sort of dream, and you might wake me up soon. "Oh, and, 'tachi?" You said, and my eyes flickered to you. "Never run from me again."
Another kiss came to my lips again. I could feel my whole body shaking slightly. I could feel every movement you made. The slight shift in weight distribution, your fingers moving slightly on my chin. Everything. But, then, a wave of realisation hit me. I felt but one thing emotionally. Instead of the dozens of things I felt around you normally, I felt one. Love. It completely overwhelmed everything else. Fear, joy, exhilaration. They were all gone. Love is all I feel now, and I feel- I feel as if I'm the luckiest person in the world. I may be going blind, I may be wanted by several countries, and my only family wanted me dead. Yet, here I am, sitting still as stone, in Kisame's embrace. The man I've been infatuated with for the past six years. The man I love. The man whom loves me back.
I still sound like a girl.