Author's note: If you haven't read the fifth book and you don't want to
know who dies at the end, then do -not- read! I seriously do not want to
get a bunch of nasty e-mails saying "You ruined it!". Also note that this
is my first (and only) Harry Potter fic.. I just had to write it.
Remus opened the door silently and stepped inside, hearing the soft crackling of the flames. "Hello?" He called, hanging his cloak on the hook in the closet and slipping his shoes off. He could hear the portraits sleeping, and was careful not to wake them. The last thing he needed was to disturb a particularly loud portrait and ruin the surprise, but with the shape that the old house was in, he was surprised that the floorboards didn't give way altogether. If anything, it would've woken the portraits up, or perhaps the inhabitant. He drew closer to the closed door, his ears picking up sounds of soft snoring coming from the bedroom. He smiled softly and shook his head. Some things never changed. Sirius always did snore loud enough to wake the dead. He let himself into the room, gazing at the sleeping man's body, illuminated by the moonlight that was filtering in through the threadbare curtains. With a soft grunt, two eyes stared back at him, piercing the near-darkness of the room.
"You came." It was almost an accusation by the tone in Sirius' voice, and he sat up in the bed.
"I promised I would." Lupin replied as he slipped into the bed. His eyes fell closed as two arms wrapped around him and pulled him close, and a husky whisper rang in his ear.
"I've missed you."
Remus smiled dryly as Sirius' lips found their way down his neck. "It's been difficult lately.. What, with me being a snarling beast and you being a convicted murderer."
"We're both dangerous, aren't we, Moony?" He grinned that same reckless grin that had drawn Remus to him in the first place and went back to his business. Remus didn't answer right away; he just shuddered and melted into the bed.
"Is anyone in the house besides us?"
Sirius shook his head. "Just us, tonight.. Just like back in Hogwarts." He grinned again and kissed him. The kiss led to longer kisses, which led to a long session of making love. Making love led to more kissing, which led to cuddling. It was a vicious cycle. Remus lay next to him, his head gently lying in the crook of Sirius' neck. He closed his eyes and was just starting to doze off when Sirius spoke again, breaking the silence. ".. Not all of us are going to make it through this battle."
The forceful tone in his lover's voice made him blink himself awake. ".. I know." He said finally. He wasn't sure what Sirius was implying - if it'd be one of them that would die, or perhaps even Harry.. He knew Sirius well enough to know that Harry's death would quite possibly push him over the edge that he had neared when Lily and James were murdered. He remembered the night as well as he would have if it'd happened the previous night, and he knew Sirius did as well.. Both knew exactly what had been happening while they were making love that night - Voldemort was busily murdering two of their closest friends.. and failing to murder their infant son.
Neither of them said anything as the clock ticked away outside the room. Sirius smiled mirthlessly. "Just like that night, isn't it?" He asked, practically reading Remus' mind.
"Sirius, there's no way you could've known that he would betray them." Remus murmured, sitting up.
"Damnit, it was my choice to do it! They would've been here if it weren't for me."
Sighing, Remus pressed Sirius' body against the bed firmly. "Sleep. There's nothing that you can do now.. I will be going to collect Harry soon.. And he'll be safe here with the Order. You won't have to worry. I promise."
"Right." He muttered dubiously, but lay down all the same, closing his eyes and absently trailing his fingers through Lupin's graying hair. "We got old fast, didn't we?"
"I feel young right now."
The comment brought a smile to Sirius' lips, and he chuckled. "So do I, Moony. So do I. " He sighed softly. "I do love you. Even if you are a snarling beast."
"And I love you, even if you are a convicted murderer."
As he slept, Remus dreamt of the days back at Hogwarts when he and Sirius would fool around, sneaking in a quick kiss here and there, making sure not to let anyone catch them. Yet, he was certain, as he knew Sirius was, that Dumbledore knew. After all, Dumbledore knew everything that went on in his school. And when all the others were out at Hogsmeade for the weekend, Remus and Sirius enjoyed the silence in each other's arms..
Then came the tragedy of Lily and James.. and Lupin wondering day and night if Sirius was doing all right locked up in that horrid place.. He knew in his heart that Sirius hadn't killed those people. It wasn't possible. Years went by, and finally, the two were reunited, and true to the Muggle song, it felt so good. Lying in Sirius' arms, he couldn't imagine that in only months, he would lose his lover again.. and this time, forever.
Remus lay silently on Sirius' bed, staring at a picture of the four of them when they were younger. All grinning up at the camera, invincible. Yet, there was just him now - James - Prongs, was murdered; Peter - Wormtail, had betrayed them all..; and Sirius - His beloved Padfoot, killed by a death eater. And here he was, all alone. He felt like Kreacher, the house elf, who was upstairs crying into Sirius' dead mother's clothing. Instead it was he, weeping into Sirius' pillow. He'd tried to remain strong for the others, for the ones that didn't know, and for Harry. Harry didn't know, and he wouldn't, that while he had lost his godfather and his friend, and his brother, Remus had lost his friend, his ally, and his lover. Yet, here he was, locked up in Sirius' room, desperately clinging to the picture as if it would disappear from his hands.
"I was so scared." He whispered. "When we thought you might be dead.. and then we found you, and you were alive, and I.. I just felt so happy. But then.. " His eyes darkened. "Then she used that spell on me." Remus smiled ruefully. "On you, technically, but I felt everything.. Part of me died when I saw you hit the ground. I wanted to run to you, to kill that horrid woman who took you from me.. but Dumbledore held me back. He told me it wasn't worth it. Damnit, it was worth it! You stupid idiot, getting yourself killed! I couldn't bring myself to lose it in front of Harry.. So.. I.. I comforted him. Or I tried to, anyway. He seems as broken up about it as I am.." Tears rolled down his cheeks, but he ignored them.
"I miss you. And I promise you, Sirius, that I'll kill the one who took you away. I'll clear your name someday. I swear. " He set the picture down as he watched the figures in the photograph joking around. James and Peter walked off in the photograph, and Sirius gave the young man in the photograph a soft kiss before grinning and running off. The boy in the photo turned bright red and chased after him. "I love you." He closed his eyes, breathing in the faint scent from the pillow and trying to block the image of his lover's death from his mind, although he never would be able to. It would haunt him every day, except when he was a werewolf.. He actually came to welcome the changes - It helped him forget, even for a little while.. And that was all he could hope for.
Looking up at the moon in the sky, he could almost hear Sirius' voice. 'I love you too, Moony. Now stop being so damn serious and get out there. Fight. Or I'll have to beat you up, and you know I could do it, prefect. ' He wept silently, shaking his head. He would fight. Just not yet. Once the pain dulled.. then he would fight. And he would make Sirius proud.. even if it killed him.
Remus opened the door silently and stepped inside, hearing the soft crackling of the flames. "Hello?" He called, hanging his cloak on the hook in the closet and slipping his shoes off. He could hear the portraits sleeping, and was careful not to wake them. The last thing he needed was to disturb a particularly loud portrait and ruin the surprise, but with the shape that the old house was in, he was surprised that the floorboards didn't give way altogether. If anything, it would've woken the portraits up, or perhaps the inhabitant. He drew closer to the closed door, his ears picking up sounds of soft snoring coming from the bedroom. He smiled softly and shook his head. Some things never changed. Sirius always did snore loud enough to wake the dead. He let himself into the room, gazing at the sleeping man's body, illuminated by the moonlight that was filtering in through the threadbare curtains. With a soft grunt, two eyes stared back at him, piercing the near-darkness of the room.
"You came." It was almost an accusation by the tone in Sirius' voice, and he sat up in the bed.
"I promised I would." Lupin replied as he slipped into the bed. His eyes fell closed as two arms wrapped around him and pulled him close, and a husky whisper rang in his ear.
"I've missed you."
Remus smiled dryly as Sirius' lips found their way down his neck. "It's been difficult lately.. What, with me being a snarling beast and you being a convicted murderer."
"We're both dangerous, aren't we, Moony?" He grinned that same reckless grin that had drawn Remus to him in the first place and went back to his business. Remus didn't answer right away; he just shuddered and melted into the bed.
"Is anyone in the house besides us?"
Sirius shook his head. "Just us, tonight.. Just like back in Hogwarts." He grinned again and kissed him. The kiss led to longer kisses, which led to a long session of making love. Making love led to more kissing, which led to cuddling. It was a vicious cycle. Remus lay next to him, his head gently lying in the crook of Sirius' neck. He closed his eyes and was just starting to doze off when Sirius spoke again, breaking the silence. ".. Not all of us are going to make it through this battle."
The forceful tone in his lover's voice made him blink himself awake. ".. I know." He said finally. He wasn't sure what Sirius was implying - if it'd be one of them that would die, or perhaps even Harry.. He knew Sirius well enough to know that Harry's death would quite possibly push him over the edge that he had neared when Lily and James were murdered. He remembered the night as well as he would have if it'd happened the previous night, and he knew Sirius did as well.. Both knew exactly what had been happening while they were making love that night - Voldemort was busily murdering two of their closest friends.. and failing to murder their infant son.
Neither of them said anything as the clock ticked away outside the room. Sirius smiled mirthlessly. "Just like that night, isn't it?" He asked, practically reading Remus' mind.
"Sirius, there's no way you could've known that he would betray them." Remus murmured, sitting up.
"Damnit, it was my choice to do it! They would've been here if it weren't for me."
Sighing, Remus pressed Sirius' body against the bed firmly. "Sleep. There's nothing that you can do now.. I will be going to collect Harry soon.. And he'll be safe here with the Order. You won't have to worry. I promise."
"Right." He muttered dubiously, but lay down all the same, closing his eyes and absently trailing his fingers through Lupin's graying hair. "We got old fast, didn't we?"
"I feel young right now."
The comment brought a smile to Sirius' lips, and he chuckled. "So do I, Moony. So do I. " He sighed softly. "I do love you. Even if you are a snarling beast."
"And I love you, even if you are a convicted murderer."
As he slept, Remus dreamt of the days back at Hogwarts when he and Sirius would fool around, sneaking in a quick kiss here and there, making sure not to let anyone catch them. Yet, he was certain, as he knew Sirius was, that Dumbledore knew. After all, Dumbledore knew everything that went on in his school. And when all the others were out at Hogsmeade for the weekend, Remus and Sirius enjoyed the silence in each other's arms..
Then came the tragedy of Lily and James.. and Lupin wondering day and night if Sirius was doing all right locked up in that horrid place.. He knew in his heart that Sirius hadn't killed those people. It wasn't possible. Years went by, and finally, the two were reunited, and true to the Muggle song, it felt so good. Lying in Sirius' arms, he couldn't imagine that in only months, he would lose his lover again.. and this time, forever.
Remus lay silently on Sirius' bed, staring at a picture of the four of them when they were younger. All grinning up at the camera, invincible. Yet, there was just him now - James - Prongs, was murdered; Peter - Wormtail, had betrayed them all..; and Sirius - His beloved Padfoot, killed by a death eater. And here he was, all alone. He felt like Kreacher, the house elf, who was upstairs crying into Sirius' dead mother's clothing. Instead it was he, weeping into Sirius' pillow. He'd tried to remain strong for the others, for the ones that didn't know, and for Harry. Harry didn't know, and he wouldn't, that while he had lost his godfather and his friend, and his brother, Remus had lost his friend, his ally, and his lover. Yet, here he was, locked up in Sirius' room, desperately clinging to the picture as if it would disappear from his hands.
"I was so scared." He whispered. "When we thought you might be dead.. and then we found you, and you were alive, and I.. I just felt so happy. But then.. " His eyes darkened. "Then she used that spell on me." Remus smiled ruefully. "On you, technically, but I felt everything.. Part of me died when I saw you hit the ground. I wanted to run to you, to kill that horrid woman who took you from me.. but Dumbledore held me back. He told me it wasn't worth it. Damnit, it was worth it! You stupid idiot, getting yourself killed! I couldn't bring myself to lose it in front of Harry.. So.. I.. I comforted him. Or I tried to, anyway. He seems as broken up about it as I am.." Tears rolled down his cheeks, but he ignored them.
"I miss you. And I promise you, Sirius, that I'll kill the one who took you away. I'll clear your name someday. I swear. " He set the picture down as he watched the figures in the photograph joking around. James and Peter walked off in the photograph, and Sirius gave the young man in the photograph a soft kiss before grinning and running off. The boy in the photo turned bright red and chased after him. "I love you." He closed his eyes, breathing in the faint scent from the pillow and trying to block the image of his lover's death from his mind, although he never would be able to. It would haunt him every day, except when he was a werewolf.. He actually came to welcome the changes - It helped him forget, even for a little while.. And that was all he could hope for.
Looking up at the moon in the sky, he could almost hear Sirius' voice. 'I love you too, Moony. Now stop being so damn serious and get out there. Fight. Or I'll have to beat you up, and you know I could do it, prefect. ' He wept silently, shaking his head. He would fight. Just not yet. Once the pain dulled.. then he would fight. And he would make Sirius proud.. even if it killed him.