Valentines Day at Astraea Hill. The time for the loved and admired ones to get dozens of cards, roses and chocolates and then boast about the amount of it among their friends. And also the opportunity for the ones who have fallen in love to write a touching letter, maybe even a confession to their special person, hoping for a reply or a glance in their direction, waiting for any type of response.
It was still early in the morning, but the town was already filled with people. Men, women and students from different schools raced through the streets, looking for a gift or a card for their special person.
Among the busy street was one particularly nervous pink-haired first year, wearing a classy white outfit and a long overcoat, who hurried along the shops, taking a quick look in everyone of them, but none seemed to satisfy.
The young girl suddenly was pushed away roughly by a seemingly hasty man who almost dove into the nearest store, much likely to get some last-minute presents for his girlfriend.
''Baka.'' Tsubomi mumbled under her breath as she regained her composure, straightening out her uniform.
Tsubomi continued her hurried stroll in town, the sea of people getting bigger and bigger by the minute. To escape the growing busyness, something which the young Spican hated, she fled into a shop which looked rather promising.
Entering the shop, Tsubomi didn't even had the time to welcome the pleasant warmth on her cold body the store provided. The voice of the shopkeeper came from somewhere right of her,
''Is there anything I can do for you?''
Looking in the direction of the voice, the girl saw an old, wrinkly man with a friendly smile. Tsbubomi replied the smile and answered,
''No, thank you. I'm just looking.''
The old man nodded and walked off. Tsubomi took off her overcoat; the sudden warmth got her heated up more than she'd wanted. Red-cheeked and coat in her hand, she started looking for a Valentines card. It had to be a perfect one, since the person she was planning to write it for was perfect too.
----
Yaya slowly dragged her tired body through the corridor of the Dorms. The halls were silent, everyone was out in town or outside. And as Hikari was out on a date with Amane, she didn't have any company. Misery and anger entered her tired mind as she thought of Hikari together with Amane, right now,on Valentines Day.
Stupid Amane. Stupid Hikari. They can have eachother, I'm fine on my own.
Yeah, just keep telling yourself that Yaya, then you'll never have her.
Like I could. She's hooked on Amane.
As her inner battle continued, Yaya sighed and kept strolling down the halls and rooms uselessly.
----
''I'd like to have this one.'' Tsubomi said as she put the card on the counter. It was a simple yet nice card, with a very detailed rose printed on the front and lots of room to write, which the first year needed.
''That'll be 634 yen, please.''
Tsubomi handed the man a few coins, waited for her change and her now neatly wrapped card. She nodded the old shopkeeper goodbye, safely pocketed her card and exited the store.
The cold wind outside struck the girl and chilled her to the bone. She quickly put on her overcoat and began to walk back to the Dorms, eager to begin writing her letter.
---
''Hmpf. Bet Shizuma-sama and Amane-sama got thousands of letters.'' Yaya mumbled under her breath as she saw another first year running through the hallway with her card clenched at her chest. All day long the raven-haired third year watched dozens of students running around, delivering cards and gifts because their friends didn't dare to.
As she watched them, not having the energy to get up and go to her room, her mind drifted off to the subject Konohana Hikari again. She sighed heavily and tried to cast the images of her and Amane out of her head. Yaya felt anger rise in her chest against the blue-haired horserider.
Amane Ohtori. The girl who had taken away the most precious thing in her life. Amane, the girl who had admirers over all three schools, had to pick out Hikari to be her lover, she just had to pick out her. Yaya couldn't blame her, after all, Hikari was perfect: blonde curls, innocent blue eyes, a slim body and a wonderful voice.
But she just had to take her, it was as nothing could stop her, and nothing seemed to stop Hikari either way. Everybody entiteled them as the perfect couple: the Prince and the Princess of Spica.
But why her? And why did Hikari left me all the sudden?
Wasn't I good enough for her?
C'mon Yaya, pull yourself together. It's over, you've had your chance and you blew it. She'll never be your friend again if you don't start acting like the good ol' Yaya she once knew. Let it go, you pathetic, miserable wreck..
A soft voice interrupted Yaya's thoughts and caused the girl to look down, finding a little girl with soft brown curls and deep green eyes carrying a big teddybear standing at her feet. Little Kagome.
''Ohshibaru says Yaya-oneesama is sad. Are you sad, Yaya-oneesama?''
Yaya plastered a weak smile on her face and tried to forget her earlier thoughts. She bent forward a little and ruffled Kagome's hair.
''No, Kagome-chan, I'm not.'' she lied.
''But you do look sad, Yaya-oneesama. Is there something wrong?'' Kagome repeated. Her eyes were swimming in the dim light of the corridor, a worried look on her cute features. Those eyes, they seemed to look right through Yaya, who began to feel a little exposed.
Yaya chuckled at her innocence, ''Kagome, I'm just not feeling so well, that's all.'' Looking at Kagome, who still had a concerned expression on her little face, she added,
''It's okay.''
Kagome, seemingly not completely believing Yaya, nodded and slowly walked off, dragging her teddy with her. Yaya sighed and closed her eyes for a minute. The darkness provided a peaceful, cold feeling, her tired eyes prickling with tears at the sensation. She slowly and reluctantly opened them again, deciding she could better go to her room and get some sleep than only tiring her body more by standing here.
She sighed as she got her body moving again.
----
Tsubomi put down her cup of fresh made red tea and sat herself down at the chair facing the desk. A piece of paper, the card and a fountain pen lay on the desk. The pink-haired girl sighed as she shoved her chair closer to the desk. She took a sip of her tea and then blankly stared at the piece of paper, pen in her hand.
How to begin?
She couldn't begin with some cheesy line. Poetry would do good, but she never could do poetry, how hard she tried to. She wanted to write down everything, her head was a mess, she was filled with emotions, but she just couldn't describe them. If she could just manage to write it all down.
The young girl sighed again and rested her head on her free hand, still staring at the paper. The ink on the tip of the pen started drying up slowly as time passed by, Tsubomi getting a troubled expression on her face.
Tsubomi suddenly shoved her chair back fiercely as she stood up, and she started pacing up and down the room. She could always think better while doing something.
As the young Spican walked small circles in a fast pace over and over again, never stopping or slowing down, her expression softened. She stopped, wrote something down and began walking again. And so, by walking, stopping and writing down anything that came to her mind, her letter began to get some shape.
As she wrote, the adrenaline was running through her veins, right into her heart. She felt released, with every word she wrote down. Now she could finally show her true feelings she'd been hiding for so long. But the only thought fighting against her enthusiasm was that maybe, maybe she came over too furiously? Was she discribing her feelings to heavily?
Am I doing the right thing?
Of course I am.
She smiled and bent over her paper again, her pen a vague wave of movement.
----
The door clicked close as Yaya walked into her dark, messy room. In her sorrow and misery, she didn't cared and didn't had the energy to clean up. The result: clothes lying all over the room, cd's scattered on the floor and papers and homework crumpled up into tiny balls, strewn in every direction.
Yaya flopped onto her bed, relaxing all her muscles and exhaling deeply. She stared up at the white ceiling, her eyes glazing over as her mind began to wonder off again. Maybe it was better to let Hikari go. Maybe it could all be better if she got over it all. Maybe things would begin to get and feel right again.
It would become better if I get over it.
With that thought still lingering in her mind, she fell into a dreamless sleep.
----
Tsubomi streched out her arms and yawned deeply. A few tears sprung to her eyes. She sniffed and blinked them away. The young girl lay down her pen and looked at her letter. It had taken her quite some time, but as soon as she caught her own feelings, things went smoother and the words just rolled from her pen. Time passed by unnoticed, and as Tsubomi looked on her watch, it was already around midday.
Quickly, but carefully, she read her letter and checked it for the second time. She nodded, her eyes flashing back and forth while reading. Satisfied, she put the letter in the envelope and wrote her name on it.
Nanto Yaya.
----
As her eyelids slowly parted, the raven-haired girl streched out her arms and felt a little more energetic and lifely. The quick nap, which turned out into a deep slumber, had done her pretty good. She licked her dry lips and rolled onto her back, staring at the ceiling again. The girl sighed in contentement, glad to feel a little life back in her tired and miserable body. She almost started to feel like her old self again.
Gotta get into some clean clothes.
She sprung off the bed with surprising ease, and not like before, when she practically had to drag herself off the bed. Yaya could not stop a grin from playing on her lips as she walked to the closet and grabbed some more decent clothes rather than the baggy sweatpants and the long white shirt she was currently wearing.
After that, she began cleaning up her room. First reluctantly, but later on with some satisfaction, though not with full enthusiasm. She turned on some music and began to feel better and better by the minute, her mind not drifting off to Hikari or anything.
Things would get better and back to how it was before again.
She smiled and threw another crumple of paper into the wastebin.
----
The young pink-haired girl was standing in front of Yaya's door for quite a while now, soft music coming from the inside as she did so.. She took a deep breath and reached out to the door. Right before touching the dark wood with her knuckles, she pulled back, feeling unsure and nervous. She moved her gaze down at her feet and bit her lip.
What if she'll reject me? What if she'll hate me?
Tsubomi huffed.
She fucking hates me already. Just go for it.
She knocked on the door, not feeling to sure about herself, but she just had to do this. Tsubomi couldn't live in her shadows anymore, she wanted to be beside her, support her, be there for her. The elder girl and Tsubomi had an exceptional rivalry, but Tsubomi acted like that so Yaya wouldn't discover her feelings.
No response came from the room and its habitant. Tsubomi knocked again, this time a bit harder.
Tsubomi lifted an eyebrow when still no response came. She took the bronze doorknob in her hand and slowly opened the door. The room was dark and the youngster had to wait for her eyes to adjust to it.
''Yaya-senpai?'' She took a few steps further into the room, finding nothing but a big mess. Tsubomi carefully stepped over a pile of clothes and then her breath caught in her throath.
On the floor, against the side of the bed, lay Yaya. Her chest slowly rose and fell again, seemingly deep asleep. Tsubomi inched a little closer to the raven-haired girl lying on the floor, now being able to see her face.
She bent down and sat down next to her, taking a few moments to admire her beauty.
Her face was framed by her dark hair, her skin pale like porcelain and her bare shoulders seemed like they were chiseled out of marble. Tsubomi reached out and tenderly swiped away some locks from Yaya's eyes.
The Spican stirred at the move, but didn't woke up. Tsubomi stood up and lay the envelope in Yaya's open hands. She walked back to the door, beginning to walk back to her own room and wait. Tsubomi looked back at the girl and let out a sigh, feeling guilty for not waiting beside her to wake up and help her.
I will, some day.
----
Yaya woke up with a shock. Her eyes flashed open and roamed through the room, trying to find out where she was. She relaxed a bit when she found out she was in her own room, which looked just as messy as when she started cleaning up. Even the music was still on. Yaya frowned.
What happened?
She could remember she woke up, felt better and than made an attempt to clean up her room.
I must've collapsed or fainted again.
The dark-haired girl struggled to her feet and felt something slip from her hands. She bent down and took an envelope from the ground. Twisting it around in her hands and finding out her name was on it, she wondered who had sent it. Curious, she grabbed a pen from her desk and stuck it in the opening, ripping it open. Taking the card out of the envelope, Yaya noticed it was a Valentines card. Now even more curious and a smirk playing on her lips, she unfolded the letter and started reading.
Dear Yaya,
The one thing I've been wondering about is why you're always so sad. You weren't sad before, When I met you, you were so alive and happy but today's girl is sad, miserable and backed away from any human contact. Is it because of Hikari? Because if that's the case, you need to get a grip. She doesn't deserve you, and she's been a fool, rejecting you. I'm telling you, it's the best to let her go. You've been weeping over her for weeks now, that's not like you! She's happy, and so should you be. But you can't, can you? You're holding onto Hikari too much, you're holding on to the past too much. It may sound a bit cliché, but you have got to get over the past, Yaya.
Because there's someone else who loves you. I love you. But I know that you'll never love me back, and that's killing me. I guess that's how you feel too. Living on, but knowing you will never be loved back.
I want to stand beside you, Yaya. I want to be the one to hold you when you're sad, to be the one to laugh about your jokes, I want to be that person for you Yaya. And even though I will never be, it's not wrong to keep hoping and dreaming. That's what keeps me going on. The only thing holding me to become a miserable wreck.. It's hard, but I can fight it. As long as I can see you every day, even the slightest glimpse.
We all need something to hold on to, to look forward to. Something to live up to. Something to keep our hopes going. I do. You are that something for me Yaya.
I'm sick of living in your shadows, of silently staying beside you, helping you get over your grief, but still I'm living up to you, Yaya. I truly do. And seeing you in pain and misery everyday breaks my heart. That's why I want you to be happy, lively and become the girl I met again. I want you to become the girl I came to fall in love with again. Is that really so much to ask for?
And even if that means that you won't love me back, I will be beside you then, I will be with you, and that will be all I need then. Because you're my light.
Yaya's eyes filled with tears with every word she read. Every sentence, every word, every letter hit her hard. It was the truth, the hard and confronting truth that was written upon that pink card. Tears fell down onto the card, leaving dark stains and messing up the ink. The card fell out off the raven-haired girls' shaking hands and she fell on her knees. Shoulders shocking, Yaya silently cried, she cried out all the hurt and pain left.
----
Tsubomi knocked on the door, calling,
''Chikaru-senpai?''
A soft and friendly vioce came from the inside, answering,
''Come in, the door's open.''
The youngster opened the door and walked into Chikaru's room. Everywhere she looked were costumes in all sizes, piles of mangas and cd's, posters on the wall and a brightly coloured sheet upon the bed. She blinked a few times and looked around in awe. The room was such a contrast with her own neatly cleaned and sober dormitory. Tsubomi shut the door behind her, causing Chikaru to look up. She smiled at the pink-haired girl.
''Tsubomi-chan. What brings you here?'' Chikaru asked, putting away her book she was reading.
''Well,'' Tsubomi began, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, her gaze at her feet, ''I wrote a Valentines card today, and I, well, I kinda confessed to her in the letter.'' she continued,
''But I didn't wrote down my name, because I was ashamed and well, I now regret that.'' Tsubomi ended her scentence, feeling a bit unsure. Chikaru told her once she could always come to her if she had any problems, and now she did, but she didn't feel quite comfortable. She gulped and looked up to Chikaru, who was, as always, smiling assuringly.
''I see. And who exactly is 'her'?'' she asked, her hands folded in her lap.
''Yaya-senpai.'' Tsubomi said, her cheeks flushing red, her gaze back at her feet again.
''Ah, I see.'' Chikaru nodded understandingly. She stood up, her long black hair falling down her back, and walked over to Tsubomi. The elder girl gently looked the younger one in the eyes, smiling. Tsubomi warmly smiled back, but still felt a little nervous. Something about the twinkle in Chikaru's eyes made her feel exposed.
''Well, I think that if Yaya-chan's smart enough, she'll figure out that you wrote that card. Just like I found out who wrote my Valentines card just by picking up little hints.'' Chikaru winked.
Tsubomi nodded. She did wrote several things down that could lead Yaya into the right direction. The pink-haired girl felt a little better about the whole thing and thankfully smiled at Chikaru. She waved the girl farewell and walked towards the door. Just before exiting the room she turned around and asked,
''May I aks you just one more thing, Chikaru-senpai?''
''Sure.'' Chikaru replied.
''Who wrote your Valentines card then?'' Tsubomi asked, wondering who could've wrote a letter to Chikaru. She was certain the Lulim girl had gotten tons of letters, as she seemingly was very populair among the club life in Astraea Hill.
Chikaru chuckled and tilted her head, adding,
''That stays between me and my secret admirer.''
----
After Yaya'd calmed down she reread the letter, now more thoughroughly, also rereading several scentences, trying to find out who had written her the letter. Trying to find out who still loved her after all this and after how she'd behaved. After how she had left all her friends and locked herself up in her room, wishing for it to become all better. But it didn't. Just like in the letter, Yaya'd needed something to live up to, to hold onto. She didn't had that special something or someone than.
But I do now.
The Spican narrowed her eyes as she read, beginning to get all the little hints.
living in your shadows
silently staying beside you
still I'm living up to you
someone else who loves you
you're my light
I love you
Yaya's eyes widened as one single name flashed through her head. Why her? She was just an annoying brat who seemingly hated the raven-haired girl. Yaya and her always bickered, argued and fought, even about the most stupid things. But still, she stayed beside Yaya, she helped her, supported her. But why?
Why Tsubomi?
----
Staring at the ceiling, Tsubomi lay restlessy in her bed for what seemed like hours. She sighed, rolled onto her side and searched for the bright red numbers of her alarmclock in the darkness. The girl felt her stomach knot together because of her nerves.
14:37
Thirthyseven minutes past two, and still no sign from Yaya. Two hours and thirtyseven minutes for the elder girl to wake up, read the card and find out Tsubomi wrote it, to decide wether or not she'd go and talk to her, to make up her mind or at least drop by. Tsubomi sighed and rolled onto her back again. She had the sudden urge to race towards Yaya's room and tell her personally, but she did as Chikaru had adviced her. The pink-haired girl patiently waited for Yaya, even if it would take days or weeks.
Just as Tsubomi wanted to take a quick nap to let the time pass when a knock on the door invaded the silence in the room. The youngster sprung off the bed, her heart jumping in her chest, a deep blush tingling on her cheeks. Quickly, she flipped the lights off, waited a few seconds and then opened the door a slight bit, peeking through the chink.
Her heart missed a beat when she saw two dark chestnut eyes staring directly into hers. Yaya opened the door and just kept looking at Tsubomi. After a few moments of awkward silence, Yaya spoke,
''Tsubomi, we need to talk.''
Tsubomi, nodding faintly and her mind empty, stepped aside to let Yaya in. Closing the door, Yaya sat herself down on Tsubomi's bed, her back resting against the wall, her eyes still staring at Tsubomi. The pink-haired girl swallowed hard and dropped down on the far end of the bed, gaze down at her feet, feeling the pierce of Yaya's eyes on the side of her head. Tsubomi started talking to avoid a painful silence.
''So, um, d-did you find out it was, um, me?''
Yaya kept silent for a while, her thoughts racing at top speed. Then she spoke up,
''Why, Tsubomi?''
''Why? Because I'm in love with you, that's kinda logical.'' Tsubomi blinked.
Why else would I confess to you in a crappy Valentines card for Gods sake.
''That's not what I meant. Why are you in love with me?'' Yaya snapped, her frustrations from today coming loose. It was all very confusing, the youngster sitting next to her always acted so harsh and hostile towards her, it was hard to image Tsubomi being nice to Yaya for once. But still, the idea of being loved again, even by Tsubomi, gave her some hope.
''Because you're just, you. I, it's just that, you have such a great personality, you're so full of life, even though you're hurt right now. You, you're just beautiful, Yaya-senpai, and not only your appearance. Sure, you can be annoying and you like to pester me-'' Tsubomi began, but she was cut off by Yaya.
''I only do that because you're such an arrogant little brat, you should know that.'' Yaya said, but feeling a blush tingling on her cheeks. The fact that Tsubomi simply loved her for who she was, not for her form or talents, gave her a warm and affectionate feeling in her chest.
''I am not!'' Tsubomi puffed her now red cheeks in anger. Always, always their conversations went like this. It started good and then it just began to be one big arguement, one remark followed by another. And that went on and on and on until one of them, which mostly was Tsubomi, was too angry or flustered to say something back. But this time, the young Spican wasn't going to give up so easily.
''Um, yes you are. You're always acting so proud and mature like you know better.'' Yaya grinned, getting back in her old mood. Somehow, annoying and teasing the poor Tsubomi always made her feel a little better.
''Well, maybe I do know better than you! Have you ever thought about that?'' Tsubomi shot back, getting up on her knees on the bed, eyes shooting fire at Yaya.
Yaya blinked a few times at the sharp comment, frowning for a second, but then caught back the pace of the conversation. She propped herself up her knees, and not missing a beat,
''No. But why should I?'' she grinned back, enjoying the angry look upon Tsubomi's face. Looking at her, she noticed the young girl had some pretty cute features and a very deep amber gaze. Yaya softened her expression, but then shook her head slightly, trying to cast away those thoughts.
Yaya, come on get a grip. It's Tsubomi for heavens sake.
Tsubomi exploded. Red-faced, she shouted,
''Because I do know better than you! I have told you a million times to let go of Hikari-chan because you did not stand any chance against Amane-sama, but you were too blind too see that and just ignored my advise, and look at you know! Yaya-senpai, you've become miserable, and just because you did not wanted to admit I was right. And I was right all fucking time long! But you just didn't wanted to believe it, did you? And now-''
''Okay, okay!'' Yaya yelled back, shutting Tsubomi up. Softening her tone, she continued ''I know. I know, you were right. But, I was just so afraid to let her slip away. I still am. I just can't, Tsubomi.'' sighing, Yaya dropped back down on the bed, feeling defeated. Still, Tsubomi had told the truth.
But where did that annoying, pompous, arrogant girl go? Since when did Tsubomi change this much?
The younger girl felt sorry for bursting out and dropped her gaze, calming down a bit. After a few moments of silence, she spoke up.
''I'm sorry, I shouldn't've yelled at you.''
Yaya shook her head. ''It's not your fault. I should've listened to you. You cared about me, you loved me, but I was too blinded by Hikari to see that. I was stupid.'' her thoughts still raced through her mind, trying to process the whole situation. And still that weird, warm feeling crept up in her chest when she looked at the pink-haired girl siting a few feet away. Trying to get the conversation starting again, she added with a grin,
''So, Tsubomi. You love me.''
Tsubomi quickly looked up, her face still red as a beet. Her eyes flashed back and forward, thinking of an explanation, but then realizing it would be better if she'd just be honest with Yaya.
''W-well, um, y-yes.'' the girl stuttered out, suddenly feeling very embarassed. Quickly, she gazed back at her feet again. She felt the elder girl next to her shift her weight on the bed and heard the springs creak softly.
Tsubomi stiffened as she felt two strong and warm arms being wrapped around her waist, pulling her against a just as warm body. The pink-haired girl turned even redder and looked up in surprise, surely not expecting this to happen. Two soft dark eyes were staring into hers, a loving smile playing on Yaya's lips. Tsubomi, blinked, opened her mouth to say something, but was silenced by Yaya placing a delicate finger on her lips.
''Tsubomi, you might sometimes be annoying, too mature for your age and a slight bit too proud, but the fact that you have loved me after how I've acted, how I've behaved, is just undescribable. I though that no one would ever want me again, I was pathetic and I didn't wanted to see anyone. But you were there the whole time, supporting me, helping me. I searched nothing behind it, but I should've. Because then I would've found out earlier that there still was someone who loved me for being me, even though I was a miserable wreck at the time. And now that I know, I feel like me again, I feel like I can finally enjoy things again.'' Yaya said, and paused for a while, lost in Tsubomi's deep gaze. She smiled and added,
''I feel loved.''
And with that said, Yaya placed her lips upon Tsubomi's, locked in a warm kiss.
----
A/n: Yes, I had the urge to write some Yaya x Tsubomi, and with Valentines Day coming up, I thought I'd write some V-day stuff. I like how it turned out, I never worked with this style (like switching between characters) before, so I hope I did good n__n
So be gentle with reviews =3
Disclaimer: I do not own Yaya Nanto or Tsubomi Okuwaka, other characters used or Strawberry Panic!.
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