I'd Like a Word With You

Monica's reflections

After hearing Ross's confession of Emily's ultimatum and that he had intended to do what she wanted, everyone was feeling stunned.

There had been speculation, mostly unexpressed as to what attitude Emily would take to Rachel. No-one could imagine that things would be the same as they were before. The effort to imagine any encounter between Emily and Rachel just led to blank pages. They did not know. Monica knew that Rachel would be brave but Rachel and Emily had never bonded, and in fact had hit it off badly to begin with, trivial as that encounter was. Emily would no doubt resent the fact that it had been Rachel's name Ross had come out with, and that she had been chosen as a back up companion for Ross to go to Greece with. She would be suspicious of Rachel's motives, and unwilling as Monica was to do so, she had to admit that she was justified. After all, Rachel had confessed her love to Ross, against Monica's advice, knowing that he was now married to someone else, even if it hardly seemed that the marriage had started yet.

But Rachel was not a threat to Emily. Ross had turned Rachel down and dashed her hopes. Rachel no longer had the excuse that he was with Emily because he didn't know that Rachel wanted him. That might have been true at the beginning but things had gone too far for that. And even if a large part of the reason for him turning Rachel down had been because he didn't want a second divorce after mere weeks if not days, rather than his love for Emily, that was just as much a barrier to Rachel. He would be happy if his marriage worked - he wanted it to work, that was why he had given into Emily's condition.

That she would impose such a thing was a shock. Didn't she realise the effect it would have on them all?

Rachel walked in and sat down, looking depressed. Monica hadn't seen much of her since the big announcement.

'Hey,' Monica said gently. Rachel tried a weak smile, gave it up, and then said,

'I've lost him anyway, but this is even worse. It's like hanging me and then chopping me in pieces. And then burning the pieces.'

'She doesn't need to do this,' Monica said.

'Don't I know it,' Rachel said bitterly.

'We need to get her to change her mind,' Monica said.

'Ross isn't going to get her to that; he's just grateful she's even speaking to him. I wish I hadn't gone.' Rachel shook her head.

'It's not your fault.'

'It's Ross's fault,' Rachel said, 'But I'm the one having to pay.'

'We are all having to pay,' Monica said. 'That's why we have to find a way to stop her.'

'Well how? I can't call her up and tell her not to worry. She wouldn't even take my call,' Rachel said. 'and if she knew exactly why she's got nothing to worry about...'

'Mind you, if she knew you'd done that and that Ross had turned you down,' Monica said speculatively.

'She'd just hate me,' Rachel said.

'But she wouldn't need to feel insecure about Ross,' Monica said. Rachel looked at her quizzically. 'She doesn't like you anyway so what have you got to lose?'

'Only my pride.' A silence hung between them.

'How much do you really love him Rachel?' Monica asked.

'Hey, that's not fair!' Rachel exclaimed.

'Well do you want him to be happy?'

'Of course. Of course I do. I agreed not to make a deal about his condition, you know I did. I'm only talking to you about this because you're my friend and I need to express my feelings to someone. I'm not going to go back on my word.'

'I know, I know,' Monica said soothingly, 'But if she drops her condition, he'll be happier, and so will all of us. Even you.' Rachel turned her face away.

'Okay. You call her. You tell her whatever you need to tell her.'

The call

Monica found it easier than she expect to get in touch with Emily, given Ross's earlier difficulties. When she got Emily on the line, the conversation was friendly enough, in a cool way. Monica could imagine that Emily was wondering why she was calling, so after preliminaries, Monica said,

'I wanted to talk to you about the condition you put on Ross. About Rachel.'

'You mean he told you that?' Emily said, sounding surprised and displeased. 'That was a private conversation!'

'Well yes. But only because it affects all of us.'

'All of us?'

'Me, Chandler, Phoebe, and Joey. What you want Ross to do affects us too. What do you think is going to happen if Ross is forbidden to see Rachel? He won't be able to hang out with us before he check to see whether Rachel is there or not, and you know that Rachel is with us a lot.'

'I don't want him seeing her,' Emily said, her voice shaking. 'I don't. Have you any idea what it's been like for me? It's been a nightmare.'

'But you really really don't have to worry about Rachel. I'm her friend, and I know.'

'I know you're her friend and not mine,' Emily said flatly.

'Well I'd like to be your friend, since you're my brother's wife. There's no reason why I shouldn't be able to be friends with both you and Rachel. We're not school kids. And I want you to know that it's over between Ross and Rachel, really over. Rachel told him she loved him and he turned her down.' There was an ominous silence.

'When?'

'A few days ago.'

'I knew it.' Emily sounded quiet.

'I hope you paid attention to the whole sentence. He Turned Her Down. He could have gone back to her. You're not around to stop him if he wants to, but he doesn't want to.'

'Are you sure it's not because he doesn't want another divorce?'

'My brother means what he says,' Monica said severely.

'All the time?' Emily shot back, and Monica realised the weakness of that point.

'Barring slips of the tongue. 72 roses weren't a slip. All those phone calls he made weren't a slip. When he agreed to your condition, it wasn't a slip.'

'Maybe he just changes his mind easily. Did he ask you to make this call?'

'No!' Monica exclaimed. 'I don't make slips of the tongue.'

'It's okay I believe you,' Emily said. Well that was something, Monica thought. Emily might not really believe Ross, but at least she believed Monica, which gave her something to work with.

'Well if you believe me, then listen to this. Ross probably didn't explain this to you. We've been friends for years, the six of us. Together. So if one person can't see another person then all of us will have to make choice - Ross is going to lose out on more than seeing Rachel if you insist on your condition. After all, we have to choose, we will probably choose her more often, because he's got you and she's got no-one. But he'll miss out, and quite frankly, it will make it difficult for us to be friends with you, because there's no need for you do to this.'

'It's had to be confident in your relationship when your husband says someone else's name. And the rest.'

'I know it must be. But he agreed to your condition. He can't do much more. And if the condition is all there is that's stopping him from doing the wrong thing, then your marriage is not in good shape anyway. You're going to have to take a chance if you want it to work, even if you don't trust him,' Monica said.

'Don't you want Ross and Rachel to get back together? Rachel's your best friend.'

'I admit I'd have liked it to happen, but it's not going to happen. They could have got back together but they didn't. It's not possible. What I want is for my brother to be happy. He agreed to your condition to make you happy - can't you be satisfied that he agreed, and then make him happy by releasing him from it? And then hurry on over and start your married life with him, so you can both be better together.'

'I'll talk to him again,' Emily said. And after Monica extracted a promise from Emily that she would not tell Ross that Monica had called her, she said her goodbyes.

The results

Merely hours later, Ross announced that the condition was off, and that furthermore, Emily was coming over and would be there this time tomorrow. As the others expressed their relief, much of their tension gone, Monica caught Rachel's eye. Rachel shrugged slightly.

'Well, that doesn't give us much time to organise a welcome party,' Rachel said, making Monica feel proud of her.

'We know you can do it,' Joey said.

'We'll all do it,' Monica said, thinking of what she had said about the six of them being friends.

'Great!' Ross said. 'I'm going home to tidy up.' He dashed out of Central Perk. In good humour, Gunther gave the others coffees all round, on the house.

'Are you going to be okay, Rach?' Chandler asked.

'I'll be fine,' she said. 'It won't be easy, but there have been more difficult things for me.'

'True,' Chandler said. 'But just in case, we'll make sure we leave wine and cheese on the fire escape outside.'

'Who for? Me or Emily?' Rachel demanded.

'Hopefully neither of you,' Monica said.

'Don't worry, I'll have it if no-one wants it,' Joey said.

'You know, of all the things I'd be worried about, that would be seven million, five thousand and eighty third on my list,' Rachel said.

'Oh yeah,' Joey said, 'And what's number seven million, five hundred and eighty two?'

'Dandruff.'

'Dandruff? You don't have dandruff! Hey wait a minute…'

And the welcome party went off, without anyone running to the fire escape. Chandler had forgotten about the wine and cheese, and Joey kept making trips to see whether it had been put out. Although Emily and Rachel had little to say to each other and somehow were nearly always at opposite ends of the room they were standing near each other when Joey had made his seventh trip Emily asked in a low voice,

'What is he doing?'

'He thinks there's food out there,' Rachel said, resisting the temptation to say that Joey was doing something naughty on the fire escape.

'Why?'

'Well Chandler made a joke and said that he'd put something out there so that if either your or me wanted to make an escape, we'd have something.' Emily was silent, just watching Joey return with a look of disappointment.

'Why don't we put something out there for him? If that's what he wants.'

'Okay,' Rachel said. Emily picked up a plate, Rachel picked up a bottle and they headed towards the fire escape.

'Are you both running away?' Chandler exclaimed, making Ross look up in alarm.

'No,' Monica said, realising that they were acting together. 'They're just bored with us.'

'We're just leaving something for Joey to find when he goes to the fire escape,' Rachel said and she and Emily left the room.

'What?' Ross asked.

'We'll explain later,' Chandler said, as Joey followed Rachel and Emily out. The two women returned, Emily shaking her head, saying,

'I don't get it, he's so happy, but he could have had that in here.'

'Oh, that's just Joey,' Rachel said, and with that, the ice was finally broken.