I lay here on my bed thinking about my life.
To be honest,i didn't have the best life in the world
I was alone.
I used to live in the village hidden in the leaves, in the land of fire, but that was before i was left alone in this life.
My parents were killed when i was only a baby, along with the rest of my clan.
I never did find out who killed them but i would never give up, one day, i would avenge them and the rest of my family
Now, I'm 19 and i live in the Village hidden in the sand.
I was taken in by the fourth Kazekage who raised me.
He was like a father to me, even though he told me the truth, that he wasn't my real father.
Now the fourth Kazakage was dead and my life fell into ruin once more at the hands of orochimaru.
I didn't see the sand siblings much anymore, their Father was dead so they had no reason to even acknowledge my existence anymore.
I did see Gaara on the odd occasion when he decided to give me a mission.
The truth is we didn't like to admit it, but for a few years now, we have been madly in love with each other.
I know i know, but we never did see eachother as brother and sister, just friends.
We were always closer to each other than he ever was with Temari or Kankuro.
The song 'Secret love' came on the radio and i couldn't help but to lose myself in the words.
Boy you're so hard to believe
Boy you're so hard to believe
Just a friend
That's all I've ever been to you
Oh just a girl
Who wants to be the center of your world
But I ain't got much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess that's not enough
For you to notice me
I'm just your girl
And I guess that's all I'll ever be to you
To you, you
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok
But ohh
You don't know how it feels to be so in love
With someone who doesn't even know
My secret love
In my dreams
I see us both together constantly
Why can't you see
This love that's here for you inside of me
Ohhh
What do I have to do
For you to notice this
You look at her with love
With me it's just friendship
I'm just your girl
And I guess that's all I'll ever be to you
To you
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok
But ohh
you don't know how it feels to be so in love
With someone who doesn't even know
My secret love
What do you see in her
You don't see in me
Boy you're so hard to believe
Why do you show her love
But there's none for me
Boy you don't make sense to me
Is it cause I don't have much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess that's not enough
For you to notice me
I'm just your girl
And I guess that's all I'll ever be to you
To you, you, you!
Boy you're so hard to believe
Your my secret love...
oh no no no no no no...boy you're so hard to belive..
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok )
But ohh
you don't know how it feels to be so in love
With someone who doesn't even know
My secret love
You see, we don't see each other anymore because basically we cannot be together
Gaara loves his job as the Kazakage because he wants to know his existence means something to other people
and he believes this is the only way
What he doesn't realise is his existence means something to me
If it werent for him, i probably would have ended my life many years ago.
The song ended and i was left in the silence of my empty one bed roomed apartment.
Don't get me wrong
its huge, but its empty to me
no one to share it with, no one to cook for or clean for, no one to give MY life meaning
the silence was interrupted by a soft knock on the door,
i layed still on my bed,
hoping that whoever it was would get fed up and leave
like everyone else in my life
however they didn't
The knocking continued for ten minutes,
never once becoming louder then necessary
the person on the other side must be a very patient person
so i got up and slowly made my way to the soft wooden door that led to the outside of my apartment
I opened the door and came face to face with those soft green eyes i had longed for since i can remember, the rain causing his soft red hair to stick to his pale face.
Tears streaming down his face, soo obvious amongst the multiple raindrops than ran down his soft cheeks
'Gaara' I whispered, tears beginning to fill my own eyes,
begging to escape,
like all feeling deep down inside my heart,
that i had try to conceal,
but were beginning to emerge once more
I stepped aside and let him enter
No words were needed
we both knew what was going to happen
we would cry
confess our love for each other once again
and then he would apologise forwasting my life and leave
not to emerge until the next time he needed to feel needed
I went to the bathroom and pulled out some towels that conveniently matched the soft colour of his eyes and walked into my large bedroom to find him topless,
softly asleep of the sofa.
I quietly walked up to him and sat down on the floor in front of him,
watching his chest rise and fall softly but never losing its rhythm.
I took one of the towels and softly started drying his half naked body,
from his exposed torso to his hair.
I finished up and noticed the slight smile that had emerged from his lips
i realised then that he had been awake the whole time
He softly grasped my hand in his,
stood up and pulled me in the direction of the bedroom
The confusion i possessed faded away within seconds and was replaced with anxiety
Sure i loved him
but i wasn't experienced in that way
i was a virgin
but the look of love Gaara held on his face made me sure
that it was the right thing to do
In the bedroom
he layed me softly against the bed and started to remove both our clothes
I couldn't help but blush at the sight of his naked body
and the feeling i got from being exposed in front of him
Slowly he climbed on top of me and started kissing me softly
starting at my neck and working his was down my chest to my pierced naval
Something about this just felt so right and so good
i couldn't wouldn't wait any longer to feel how much he truly loved him
he must have knew what i was thinking because he said softly
'It will hurt, but i will try with all my being to make it as painless as possible'
I simply nodded,
showing him it was okay to continue as he lifted my let leg slightly as he entered me
I gasped in the shock as pain surged through me as i fought back the tears that had gathered behind my ears
'Sorry' He whispered,
stopping
'Its okay, its gotta happen some time, I'm just glad its with you' I whispered softly as he nodded and continued slowly
The pain was still pulsing through me as we went on but soon enough the pain withdrew and was overtaken with pleasure
'Gaara' i moaned softly, slightly grazing his back with my fingernails as he kept the rhythm but sped up slightly
Half an hour later, wewere still going strong,
sweat running down our faces as we continues at a slightly fast pace
'Vi, i love you' Gaara moaned out softly as he climaxed
'I love you,ah too' I managed to moan not too loudly as i climaxed not too long after him
He collapsed on top of me but soon rolled off and pulled me into the most protecting and loving hug i had ever felt throughout my hole life.
'Never leave me Vi, promise me, you will never say goodbye, whatever happens' He pleaded
'I promise' I managed to whisper before i fell into a deep dreamless sleep