I'm back. :D

Apparently we have to suffer a lot more until Shonda decides that we suffered enough and gives us our couple back. So I figured we all might need a little more M/L than we are currently getting on the show. Enjoy!

Chapter 1: Beer and Tequila

It'd been one week since they separated the twins. One week since Lexie made that comment to him while he was talking with Julia on the phone.

Me too.

Me too? How could she drop a bomb like that? Why now?

He couldn't get it out of his head. Lexie had plainly told him that she had wished she could have been with him in the OR and he couldn't figure out what had happened that she suddenly seemed to miss him. Didn't Avery make her happy any more?

Mark's thoughts were interrupted by Derek as he sat down on the bar stool next to him, ordering a beer before he turned around.

"You wanted to talk to me? What's up? You sounded serious."

Mark fumbled at the label of his own beer bottle, suddenly uncertain if he should ask Derek about Lexie. He told Lexie that he let her go. Maybe he should just drop it. But there was a nagging voice in the back of his head that wouldn't shut up.

"It's … It's kind of weird. But I have to ask you. I just need to know. Is everything okay with Lexie?"

"Why do you ask?" Derek looked at him slightly surprised. The only thing Mark had talked about in the last couple of weeks was Julia. Since Mark let Lexie go she came barely up in their conversations anymore. Derek wondered what happened that Mark was interested in Lexie again.

"I don't know. Something is off. It was something she said to me after we separated the twins and I can't get it out of my head." Mark replied tiredly. He hadn't slept well the last days. His mind didn't want to give him any rest.

"Well, maybe she still needs to get her footing back after the break-up." Derek explained, slightly worried when he looked closely in Mark's face. He looked awful. His shirt was rumpled, his beard wasn't trimmed and his hair stood in all directions as if someone just dragged him through a hedge.

"Break-up?" Mark almost choked on his beer. Derek couldn't mean what he thought he meant. It couldn't be.

"Jackson and she broke up." Derek told him, getting even more worried when he saw how pale Mark suddenly was.

"What? When?" Mark asked with a trembling voice.

"You didn't know about it?" Derek was stunned. He didn't expect that Mark didn't know about the break-up. Half of the hospital was talking about it. How Mark managed to remain clueless was beyond him.

"No. I had no idea. When did that happen?" Mark asked.

"It was shortly after the baseball game. Remember the heart in the box?"

"Of course."

"She and I worked together trying to convince Justine Campbell to let me do the surgery. I remember that Lexie was pretty worked up about the book Mrs. Campbell was writing. Maybe you should talk to her. I can call her and ask her if she could speak to you if you want."

Apparently Mark needed some answers. Looking at his best friend, Derek realized that Mark never stopped loving Lexie. He tried to move on but whatever happened with Lexie it had been enough to get Mark all worked up.

"I definitely have to find out what's wrong and I can't get a hold of Lexie no matter how hard I try. So yeah. I would very much appreciate it."

~M&L~

The moment Meredith entered the house she could hear the loud music that came out of the living room. When she walked around the corner she could see Lexie sitting on the couch, a half empty bottle of Tequila on the table in front of her.

"Hey sister." Lexie said, her words already slightly slurred.

"What happened?" Meredith asked curiously. Maybe it was in their genes, but every time Lexie or she got out the tequila bottle something serious had happened. Lexie wanted to forget something. Tequila and a Grey couldn't mean anything else.

"I made a fool of myself." Lexie leaned forward and refilled her glass.

"Stop. I want a shot too. Judging by your state I might need one."

Meredith walked to the couch and sat down beside Lexie. Lexie filled another glass and both sisters downed it. Lexie looked at her sister and without saying anything she poured another round. Without asking Meredith also downed the second shot. There was definitely something wrong.

"Lexie, come on. There must be a reason why you are sitting here with a bottle of Tequila."

"I talked to Mark." Lexie told her, averting her gaze.

"Really?" Meredith asked surprised. Lexie had hardly spoke to him over the last months and she was curious to find out what had changed that Lexie talked to him again.

"Did I ever tell you about Justine Campbell?" Lexie asked her out of the blue.

"Derek told me that she was writing on a book and that you helped her out."

"Yeah, I did." Lexie replied quietly. Meredith looked at her more closely. There was definitely more behind that story.

"I'm sensing that there is more to it than I first thought."

"A lot more. I … in the book a woman has to choose between two men. Nathan and Alexander. Nathan would be the better choice. He is perfect." Lexie said.

Meredith could hear in Lexie's voice that she had a hard time to hold her tears in check and it dawned on her what this was all about.

"But she chose Alexander." Meredith spoke into the silence.

"How do you know?" Lexie asked surprised.

"It's obvious. You never choose the perfect guy. Perfect isn't what you are falling in love with. Perfect is boring. Look at Derek and me. If he would have wanted perfect we never would have ended up being married to each other."

"I know. But why does it have to hurt so much?" A lonely tear slid down Lexie's cheek and she whipped it away angrily.

"Wait a sec. You are talking about Mark now, right?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, I'm talking about Mark. It's always Mark. Damn it. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much he hurt me, no matter how much I hurt him, I can't stop wanting him. Only him." Lexie almost shouted out.

"You love him." Meredith stated calmly.

"But I don't want to love him." Lexie replied angrily.

"You don't have a say in that matter, Lexie. I could have told you before that Jackson and you wouldn't work out."

"So why didn't you?" Lexie asked desperately.

"You wouldn't have listened. It would have been pointless. So just tell me. What got you so worked up?"

"Remember a week ago when we separated the twins?"

"Of course." Meredith replied.

"I walked by Mark and he said that he wished I could have been with him in the OR today. I didn't think twice. I was just so relieved that he felt the same way. So I told him that I wished it too. But he wasn't talking to me. He was talking to Julia."

"I'm sorry, Lexie."

"No need to be sorry. It's my own fault. I'm just pathetic. That's all." Lexie said, downing another shot of Tequila.

"That's not pathetic."

"How would you describe it then?" Lexie asked.

"You want him back. You love him. You are in love with him. Nothing wrong about that."

"Oh, there is so much wrong about that. But I don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's just kill the rest of the bottle and maybe open another one. Okay?"

"Okay."

~M&L~

"Hey, I'm Dr. Mark Sloan. We talked on the phone earlier." Mark explained to Justine after he drove half an hour to talk to her about Lexie.

"Of course. Come on in." Justine replied softly.

Justine opened the door and let him in, pointing in the direction of her living room. When she followed him she thought to herself how handsome this exemplar of a man was. Derek had already told her that he wanted to see her because of Lexie. She was curious what this was all about. Even though she didn't spend that much time with her, Lexie was already dear to her heart. She knew that Lexie was struggling with her feelings. She was pretty certain that the man in front of her had something to do with it.

"Can I get you something. Coffee, maybe?" Justine asked him, after he got settled on the couch.

"Coffee would be great. Thanks. I feel like the only thing that keeps me sane lately is caffeine." Mark replied.

"Excuse me?" Justine asked surprised.

"Not important. I was just talking to myself." Mark told her.

"Okay. It'll only take a minute."

Mark shifted nervously on the couch. He wasn't sure that he had made the right choice. Talking to a complete stranger about Lexie. But before he could change his mind and disappear silently, Justine returned with two coffees in her hands.

"So what do you want to talk about?" Justine asked him, after she gave him his cup of coffee and sat down opposite to him on a chair.

"It might be an odd question but I need to ask you something about Lexie. I mean Dr. Grey." Mark jumped right into it. He didn't see the point in making small talk. He was only here for one reason. Better get it over with as quick as possible.

"Yeah, I remember her pretty well. Nice girl. So what do you wanna know?" Justine asked. She was well aware that he felt uncomfortable. But she could also sense that he desperately needed some answers.

"Derek, Dr. Shepherd, told me that Lexie was pretty upset about the book you were writing. Can you tell me what this was all about?"

"Why do you wanna know?" Justine was pretty certain she knew the reason but he wanted him to say it out loud.

"She's just acting weird lately and I'm … I just want to know if she is okay. I'm concerned." Mark replied quietly.

Justine could see the turmoil that was going on inside of him in his eyes. This man definitely had feelings for Lexie and seeing the distress that flickered over his face, she suddenly realized who this man in front of her was.

"Ohh, now I understand. You must be Alexander." Justine didn't intend to spill it out, but the realization that this man had to be the man Lexie was deeply in love with just surprised her a little bit.

"Aehmm, actually my name is Mark. Not Alexander." Mark replied confused.

"Sorry, I know." Justine said. She had prepared a copy of her book for the man who was Lexie's Alexander. She didn't know why she had been so sure that he would show up on her doorstep. She had just known that he would come eventually. "Wait a second. I have something for you."

Mark looked confused after her as she left the room, but his confusion got even bigger when she returned with a book in her hand. She put it down on the table and pushed it in his direction.

"You want me to read a novel? A romance novel?" Mark asked her disbelievingly.

"Don't sound so shocked! Believe me. You really need to read it. This is an advanced copy. I even made some comments for you at the end. I had a feeling that you would come here eventually."

"Why? I don't understand. How could you know that I would come visit you?" Mark was totally stunned.

"Just read it Dr. Sloan. I think you deserve to know the truth and Lexie is apparently too scared to tell you. So you'll get the book instead. If you have any questions afterwards I'll be happy to answer them."

What should I say? I just miss them sooooo much on-screen and Shonda just doesn't deliver so I have to make up my own M/L story. :D