Uphill Battle of the Hart's
***Willow Pond***
It's the middle of the night. Jennifer and Jonathan are sleeping, wrapped up in each other's arms.
Jonathan is sleeping soundly. Jennifer is not. She is dreaming that she is running, running as fast as she can, trying to get away from someone or something. She couldn't see who it was or what it was, only hands reaching out to get her.
She started moaning in her sleep. She started moaning louder and louder. "No, go away!"
Jonathan woke up and realized that she was having a nightmare.
He gently shook her.
"Darling, wake up. It's ok."
After several shakes, she woke up.
"Darling, you were having a nightmare. It's ok".
She was trembling and shaking. She wrapped her arms around him and he held her tightly until she calmed down. He reached over and got her some water, and after a few minutes, they laid back down. She fell back asleep and when he was convinced that she was ok, he wrapped his arms around her and fell back asleep too.
He reached over and grabbed his phone and unset his alarm.
Most mornings, he liked to be at the office early, but some mornings, he needed to be home with her.
***A few hours later***
She woke up at 8:30, and realized he was still in bed with her. She nestled up against him, and he kissed her head and squeezed her a little tighter.
She rolled over and kissed him.
"Good morning, darling".
"Good morning".
She lightly ran her nails across his chest.
"Are you feeling better, darling? You were pretty upset after your nightmare".
She looked confused for a minute, and then remembered it.
"I guess. It was just so real".
She looked at him.
"I'm sorry I woke you up darling".
"No apologies necessary. You fell back asleep pretty easily."
"I hope you did, too".
"Once I knew you were alright".
She kissed him.
"You are so good to me".
She laid her head on his chest.
"What do you have planned today, darling?"
"Well, after the office, I plan on spending the evening dancing".
"Oh, you do?"
"Yes. How does your dance card look?"
"It's all filled up. By the same guy".
"Well, he is one lucky fella".
He leaned over and kissed her.
***Later that night***
Jonathan got home at 6. Max had prepared a special dinner for them, shrimp scampi and a chopped salad.
After they ate, they snuggled on the couch by the fire and had a brandy.
Jennifer fell asleep with her head on Jonathan's shoulder.
He let her sleep for about an hour, and then she woke up.
"Ready to come to bed, darling?"
"Almost. There's one last thing we need to do".
He sat her up, and then he got up. He went over and started some music on the bar stereo, and came back and held his hand out to her.
"May I have this dance?"
She nodded, and got up and followed him.
They danced in the foyer, and floated through the air. She put her head on his cheek and felt like time was standing still. After about an hour, he turned the stereo off, picked her up, and carried her upstairs.
***The next morning***
Jennifer and Jonathan made love as soon as they woke up, which they often did. She got up and headed for the shower. She had just put body wash on, and was scrubbing when she felt something. It struck her odd. She tried to feel it again, and found it rather easily. Her eyes filled up with tears, and she instantly felt sick.
It was a lump in her right breast, and it was a nice size.
She spent the rest of the shower crying and trying to figure out how to tell Jonathan.
After she got out of the shower and dried off, she got dressed in loose fitting clothing. She called Dr. Susan Kendall, and asked for a referral for a mammogram.
"I can do one for you at my office."
"Can I come see you today? It's very important".
"Sure. I will squeeze you in. How does 11 sound?"
"Perfect. See you then".
She tried to stay busy, but it was hard. She had always been the picture of health. As much as she wanted to stay positive, she was terrified.
She drove to the appointment in silence. She kept picturing Jonathan's reaction. She knew he would never leave her or desert her. But, he was very protective of her, and she hated to see him upset. This would more than upset him.
***Dr. Kendall's office***
Jennifer was called back and given a gown to put on, and then taken to the mammogram room.
After her mammogram, she showed the nurse what she had found, and she circled it and did a special mammogram film for her focused on that location. She was given more forms to fill out, asking about her recent health. She indicated that she had been very tired lately, at times when it was unusual for her to be tired. She was also very achy in the chest when she bent over at odd times, and sleeping on her stomach had become painful.
Susan came in to talk with her personally.
"Hi Jennifer".
"Hi Susan. Thanks for seeing me".
"First of all, anytime". And second-" Susan walked over and gave her a big hug.
"When did you discover this?"
"This morning in the shower".
"And the other symptoms?"
"Sleeping on my stomach became painful starting sometime around beginning of last week. Sleeping more than usual has been just the past few days".
"Ok. So, I developed your films. Let me put them up for you, and then we will take a look".
One of the reasons that Jennifer loved Dr. Kendall was because she was very thorough with all of her patients about everything.
She and Jennifer chatted about the rest of Jennifer's health until the nurse came and brought her the films.
She got up and put them on the x-ray board.
She looked at them without the light, and then she went over and sat next to Jennifer.
"Sweetie, we need to call Jonathan".
Jennifer burst into tears, while Susan grabbed her phone and called Hart Industries.
***About 30 minutes later***
Jennifer was still crying. She couldn't believe it. Her mother had died of breast cancer, and now she had it too.
The nurse showed Jonathan to Jennifer's room. He had no idea what was going on, Susan had just said "Please come to my office right now. Jennifer needs you".
Susan had tried to comfort her best she could, but Jennifer who usually was very stoic, was upset, and couldn't quit crying.
The nurse showed Jonathan in. He kissed Susan on the cheek, and then sat by Jennifer.
"Darling, we will get through whatever she has to tell us. I promise you that".
He hugged her close and just held her for a minute. She regained her composure, and then they looked at Susan.
"Ok, so I am going to recommend you for a procedure, so that we can know more. However, based on my medical expertise, I am confident that this can be removed. You have what appears to be a mass in your right breast. And it looks like a small one growing in your left breast. So, this is what I want to do. I want to schedule you with a general surgeon, and I will get you in with whomever can operate right away. They will take out hopefully all of it, and as much as they can if not, and send it to be tested in the lab. That will tell us if it is cancer, and what type. If the answer is yes, then you decide on a course of treatment. If the answer is no, then you focus on healing. Everything is in-house. The surgeons and oncologists all work on my team."
She nodded.
Susan pulled up the calendar.
"It seems that the surgeon that has the first availability is Dr. Martin. He can see you in an hour, to do the ultrasound and the preliminaries, and he can operate on you as early as tomorrow morning at 9".
Jennifer nodded.
"I tell you what. Why don't the two of you wait in here, where it's private. When it's time for your appointment, I will have the nurse come get you from here and take you to his exam room".
She gathered her things.
Jennifer stood up and gave her a long hug.
"Thank you for seeing me, and for expediting this".
"You aren't alone, Jennifer. You aren't alone".
She nodded.
Jennifer sat back down with Jonathan as Susan left the room.
She put her head on his shoulder and he held her close.
"Darling, what happened this morning after I left the house?"
"I was in the shower and found the lump. So, I got out and called Susan and she worked me in".
"I am so glad that you take care of yourself, and me. Now, I am going to take care of you".
The nurse came and got them, and took them to an exam room down the hall.
She was given the gown, and they let Jonathan stay in the room with her.
Dr. Martin came in, introduced himself and explained that this ultrasound was simply to help him know where the lump was and where to look tomorrow, during surgery.
He made some markings on her breasts with a purple marker, and then told her she could get dressed.
He gave them a sheet with pre-surgery rules and guidelines and then said "Try to rest tonight. I will see you two at the surgery center in the morning, and I am confident that things will go well".
"Thank you, doctor".
Jonathan helped Jennifer get dressed again, and they headed out.
"Let me drive you home, Max and I can come back and get the other car later".
She didn't argue with him at all.
They climbed into her Porsche and headed to Willow Pond.
***Willow Pond***
He helped her out of the car, and they headed to the couch. Max fixed her some tea, and she curled up on his shoulder while she drank it.
Freeway came over and jumped up on the couch next to her and put his head on her lap.
"I just can't be sick, darling. You deserve a healthy wife, not a sick one".
"I only want you, babe, no matter the circumstances. If you are sick, we will get you well. If you aren't, then we will thank our lucky stars and focus on keeping you well".
He kissed her forehead.
"I love you darling, no matter what".
She nodded. "I love you, too. Thank you for coming to Susan's office with me today".
"No place I would rather be, darling. There is absolutely nothing in the world that would ever change the way I feel about you."
She finished her tea, and they went to the kitchen. She had a light lunch, and then went upstairs to lie down.
Jonathan filled Max in, but told him to keep it between them.
"Surgery is tomorrow, at 9. We are going to stay home tonight and take it easy".
He handed Max the list of pre-surgery guidelines that indicated what foods she could and couldn't have.
"Soup and grilled cheese it is".
He handed Max some cash. "Can you call a cab, and go to Dr. Kendall's office and pick up my car? I didn't want her to drive home by herself".
"Sure thing, Mr. H. Right away".
"Thanks Max".
Jonathan went upstairs and changed clothes. Jennifer was lying on the bed with her eyes closed.
He laid down next to her, put his arms around her and just held her.
They both fell asleep, and slept till almost dinnertime.
Jennifer woke up around 5, and decided to take a shower. She put on her nightgown and robe after she got out. Jonathan was laying on the bed reading.
"Feel better, darling?"
She shrugged her shoulders.
She climbed on the bed and put her feet under the covers and then hugged his arm.
"Max has the list of what you can eat and not eat tonight. He said he was making soup and grilled cheese for dinner".
"Yum".
She put her head on his shoulder, and kissed his shoulder a bit.
"Darling, in case I never told you, you are everything I ever wanted".
He put his book down.
"Sweetheart, you have always been everything I ever wanted. You have made me the happiest man ever. I love you so much".
He kissed her a few times.
"Let's just get through tomorrow's surgery. Once we know what we are dealing with, we can and will face it head on, together".
She nodded.
They went downstairs and had dinner. Max joined them, and he and Jonathan tried to keep her mind of things.
Max insisted on doing the dishes, so Jennifer and Jonathan went and snuggled on the couch by the fire.
They usually had a brandy after dinner, but she was told no alcohol, so they were abstaining.
"Darling, if you are ever here without me, Freeway likes a good belly rub at night time. And his dog food is the one in the blue bag, bottom shelf at the grocery store. There is a book in my desk with all the important phone numbers and addresses in it, plus all of our insurance papers. Some of your Christmas gifts for next year have been bought and wrapped all ready, so you will have to find them."
"Jennifer, I intend to come home with you, not without you. Try not to think about anything else, ok?"
"This wasn't the way I pictured it, you know. You and I have gone on so many adventures and capers and journeys. I always figured that you and I would go that way. Not sick from a dreadful disease".
He didn't say anything. He just sat her up some, and started rubbing her shoulders for her.
Pretty soon, he got her so relaxed that she fell asleep. He had tried all night to get her to keep her mind of something going wrong during the operation, or this being the beginning of the end for them. He couldn't tell her that his mind was doing the same. He didn't know what he would do without her. All he knew was that she was his everything, and nothing or nobody else even came close. Nobody could hold a candle to her, or what they had, in bed or anywhere else. And if something happened to her, he would throw all the matches away.
He eased out from under her, picked her up, and carried her to bed.
***The next morning***
He had set the alarm for 6:30. They had to be at the surgery center at 8.
He woke up first, and quickly showered, and then woke her up.
She got ready, and then they went downstairs. Max brought Freeway out, and she kissed him and loved on him a lot.
"Always remember that Mommy loves you, sweet boy. She loves you so, so much".
She turned to Max.
She couldn't think of the words to say, so she just hugged him instead.
"I will see you when you get home, Mrs. H. Freeway and I will be waiting".
She squeezed his cheeks, and then Jonathan led her to the car.
***Surgery Center***
They got to the surgery center and got her checked in.
Susan came by and told them she would be scrubbing in with them, just for moral support.
"Thank you, so much".
The tech went over all the details.
"This is your basic lumpectomy. So, we will put you to sleep, and then cut the lump out, and stitch you back up. Barring any unforeseen complications, you should be able to go home this afternoon. Healing is very important. You are going to want to wear button up tops, or soft, stretchy tank tops. You will need someone to help you shower, at least the first time. We will give you some waterproof bandages, to go over your stitches. Use them each time you shower until we take the stitches out, next week. No lifting anything over your head for a few days. No climbing ladders either. You should feel some resistance to lifting your arms- that's normal. Don't force it. As far as pain pills, we will give you some good ones, just make sure that you take them with food and drink plenty of water".
They gave her a room, and had her change into a gown.
"Make yourself comfortable, we will be starting in about 40 minutes".
She nodded.
The nurse gave them a piece of paper that had everything they had just gone over.
"You will want to wear a sports bra, or skip wearing a bra, for the next few days. Lots of pillows to prop you up, rest as much as you can. Listen to your body, don't push it. Light exercise is ok, if you are feeling up to it. But no pushups, situps, etc."
She nodded.
The nurse left, and Jennifer changed into her gown. She packed her clothes in the bag they had brought and then went and sat his lap.
"I love you, you know that?"
He nodded.
"And I adore you, you know that?"
She nodded.
"Darling, do you have your phone with you?"
He nodded. "Yes, why?"
"Can I see it?"
He pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to her.
She opened up the apps, and went to the voice recording app. She started a new recording.
"You are my knight-in-shining armor, my hero, the love of my life, my best friend. I love you so much, darling. If I could go back in time, the only thing I would change is when you and I met. I would change it to earlier, so I could love you longer. I love you darling, always and forever, here or there. I loved you once, I loved you twice, I love you more than beans and rice".
She stopped the recording and hit save.
She put it in an album all by itself, and saved it under 'Jennifer'.
As she handed it back to him, she looked him dead in the eye.
"Promise me, that if something ever happens, you will listen to that every day, and never doubt how I feel about you?"
"Promise, darling. But nothing is going to happen".
He kissed her and held her close.
The nurse came and told them it was time, so he helped her into the bed.
He kissed her several times, and smoothed her hair.
"I love you, Jennifer Suzanne Hart, with all of my heart and soul. I absolutely adore you, and I will be here when you get back."
"I love you, Jonathan Charles Hart, from the tips of my toes to the tops of the stars, and I better see your face when I come back here, buster".
She kissed him, and they wheeled her to surgery.
The surgery took about 3 hours. The lump was rather large, but they were able to get most of it. She was no doubt going to want to do reconstruction at a later date. After 45 stitches in one breast, and 26 in the other, she was bandaged up, and taken to recovery, and then back to her room. Jonathan was waiting there, just like he'd promised.
She was sleeping, and would be for a few hours. The doctor came by and spoke to him, along with Susan.
"She did really great. It was a significant sized mass in the right breast, about the size of a golf ball. The left breast had one about the size of a quarter, and the thickness of a nickel. We got everything out of the left, and all but about 3 inches of the right. It was very strongly rooted, and I didn't want to extend her surgery time. That little amount left can usually be easily treated with chemotherapy. After about 4-6 weeks, she and I can sit down and talk about reconstruction. Depending on the swelling, her breasts might appear to be a little misshapen, and this will most likely change and shift over the next several days. Ice bags and cold washcloths on her back will help with the pain and ease the discomfort".
Susan spoke up. "She looks really good, Jonathan. You have my home number, if you need anything, day or night, just call. I am happy to make house calls for her".
He kissed her cheek. "Thank you so much, both of you".
He went back and sat down next to her, and grabbed her hand.
The doctor came in about an hour later.
"We sent the specimen to the lab. Susan Kendall put a rush on it, and will call you tomorrow with the results. We scheduled an appointment to check her bandages and stitches and discuss the results if necessary for Friday at 10, same offices as yesterday".
"Thank you".
He signed the discharge papers and said that she could go home as soon as she woke up, and that a bland diet was probably best for the rest of the day.
He rubbed the back of her hand, and leaned over and gave her a few kisses.
He had just about nodded off, when he heard the most gorgeous sound in the world.
"Darling?"
"Hi, sweetheart. You can go home as soon as the nurse sees that you are awake. Susan said you did an excellent job".
She nodded.
She puckered her lips and blew him a kiss.
He leaned over and gave her a real one.
She was in and out for about 20 minutes, and then she woke up for real.
The nurse came in, took her vitals and gave her a non-drowsy pain pill, checked her bandages, and then told her she was free to go. The nurse helped her sit up, while Jonathan helped her get dressed.
They skipped the bra, and just put on her shirt. The nurse handed Jonathan a prescription for 2 different pain pills, plus an antibiotic to ward off infection, just in case.
They got her into a wheelchair, and he held her hand and walked beside it as they pushed her out of the hospital.
About 30 minutes later, Jennifer and Jonathan were home.
***Willow Pond***
Max met them at the door and was prepared to help her out of the car.
She was pretty groggy.
Jonathan helped her walk up the stairs, and got her settled on the bed. He gave her one of his pajama tops to wear, and got her in bed.
She fell back asleep almost instantly.
He kissed her and turned on the fan just like she liked it, and then headed downstairs.
"Max, I am going to go get her prescriptions filled. Keep an ear out, will ya? If she wakes up, try and get her to drink some water".
"Got it, Mr. H".
Jonathan was back after about 45 minutes. He had also gone to the grocery store, and picked up all her favorites foods, like coconut milk, fresh pears, green bananas, and her favorite fruits and veggies. He picked up a gorgeous bouquet of flowers for her bedside. The bouquet had all her favorites- purple snap dragon, bells of Ireland, white roses, and pink gladiolus, and some blue irises.
He picked up some magazines for her to read if she wanted, and he took a picture of all the current books they had on the shelf. He intended to show it to her, and then either he or Max would come get it for her.
He came inside with all the groceries, and put them away.
"She didn't make a peep, Mr. H. I took some water up to her and put it on the nightstand just in case".
"Thanks, Max".
Jonathan got some work done, and Max made Mrs. H. some soup for dinner. He grilled some steaks and baked potatoes for Jonathan and himself.
Freeway had camped out on the floor on Jennifer's side of the bed, and he wouldn't move.
She woke up around 8, and had some soup. She wanted a sponge bath, so Jonathan helped her to the bathroom and gave her one.
"Are you in any pain, darling?"
"Not really. Did they give me any medicine?"
"Yes, a nighttime pain pill, a daytime pain pill, and an antibiotic."
"Nighttime please".
"Coming right up".
She opted to wear his pajama top for the night, so he helped her redress, and then got her back in bed.
He got out her medicine and brought it to her.
"Darling, tell me what the doctor said before I fall asleep again".
"He said you were an excellent patient. He said that in your right breast, the lump was about the size of a golf ball, and the one in your left breast was about the size of a quarter, and about as thick as a nickel. They got all of the left, and most of the right. So, if it's cancer, you will probably have to do chemotherapy, and if it's not, they will just monitor it. You have a lot of stitches and you can get those out probably next week. And he prescribed lots of bedrest for the next few days, and to limit your physical activity. If you are in pain, ice bags on your chest and cold washcloths on your back should help".
She nodded.
"I went to the store and left you in Max's very capable hands. I picked up your favorite foods, and these flowers, and I got you some magazines, and I took a picture of the book section, and if you see one you want, we can go back and get it".
She turned to look at the flowers.
"Honey, they are absolutely beautiful". She kissed him.
"Not as beautiful as you". He kissed her back.
He called Max downstairs and asked him to bring her a sliced banana and a piece of toast, and some fresh water.
"Right away, Mr. H.".
Jennifer was laying against the pillows, and Jonathan gave her a neck massage and sang to her while they were waiting on Max.
Max came right up, and she ate the snack rather fast, and then Jonathan gave her the pill, and Max told them goodnight.
Jonathan held her hand, and got as close to her as he could, and fell asleep with her.
***The next morning***
Jennifer woke up at 4:45. She was a little uncomfortable.
She got up and headed to the bathroom, and then went downstairs to get some toast.
She accidentally knocked a pan from the stove to the floor. She wanted the coconut milk, but it was too high on the shelf for her to reach. She was still a little woozy, but not as bad as yesterday.
Jonathan was sleeping, and heard something that made him wake up.
He sat up, and heard another noise, and then looked over. Jennifer wasn't in bed. He checked for her in the bathroom, and didn't find her.
He headed downstairs to see what the noise was, and found her making toast.
"Darling, you are supposed to be in bed. Do you need some help?"
"Hi sweetheart. I didn't want to wake you. I want another pill, but I was hungry too".
He kissed her forehead.
"I will finish the toast, why don't you head back up to bed?"
She nodded.
"Oh and honey, can you get the coconut milk off the top shelf? And a glass?"
"Anything for you, my love".
He poured her a glass of coconut milk, and handed it to her.
"You know, it's a shame that you are on bedrest with limited physical activity."
"It is?"
"Yeah. You look pretty sexy in my pajama top with no bottoms".
He kissed her.
"All in good time, darling".
He made her plate, and then carried it up while he helped her up the stairs.
After she was settled back in bed again, he put the bed tray in front of her and she ate. She took another pill and was back asleep by 6.
He kissed her forehead as she slept, and then fell back asleep himself.
***Later that morning***
Jonathan woke up at 9, and laid there next to Jennifer for a little bit.
He checked some emails on his phone, and returned a few. He figured that she would want a shower today, so he had gotten the waterproof bandages ready.
She slept till 11:30, and woke up with very minimal discomfort. She reached over and patted Jonathan, and he leaned over and kissed her.
"Darling, do you want a shower this morning?"
"That sounds heavenly".
He helped her out of bed, and then helped her get the pajama top off.
He took the bandages off and put some waterproof ones on. She saw how bruised she looked, and started to cry.
"I look horrible, like I have been beaten".
"You are as lovely as you have always been, darling".
He helped her into the shower and washed her hair for her, and scrubbed her back.
After she was out and dried off, he helped her put some yoga capris on, and a soft tank top.
"Do you want to stay in bed today, or stay on the couch?"
"I want to stay on the couch."
He helped her get downstairs, and get settled on the couch.
He brought her laptop, her legal pad and pen, and some magazines, plus a glass of water.
"I will be in the study working, darling, if you need me".
Max brought her a sandwich, and she decided to try not to take a non-drowsy pain pill until she absolutely had to have one.
Around 3, Susan called Jonathan.
He put her on speaker phone, and brought it out to her.
"Darling, it's Susan".
"Hi Susan".
"How are you feeling, Jennifer?"
"Good, I think. I took a shower today with waterproof bandages, and have been resting. Thank you for being there in the operating room with me, I really appreciate it".
"Don't mention it. So, I got the test results back. I don't normally do this over the phone. If you are fine with it, I can proceed, or I can make a house call".
"We are fine if you are, but you are always welcome to make a house call".
"Well, I tell you what. I will be there in about 30 minutes".
"Ok, see you then".
Jonathan went upstairs and got her robe, and helped her put it on.
He helped her sit up a bit, and got her some fresh water.
Max told her to come on up when she buzzed at the gate, and Jonathan let her in.
"Thanks for coming, Susan".
She came over and hugged Jennifer.
"Ok, so I have your test results. The big mass turned out to be cancerous. The small one was not, but would have most likely become cancerous. The lab estimates that the big mass is most likely non-invasive breast cancer, end stage 2. This is good news. This means that you have a very high rate of wiping out the remaining cells with chemotherapy, and you should only need 4-6 sessions. I am having the oncologist on my team go over these results and they will be able to verify them for you at our appointment on Friday".
Jennifer had a blank stare. She nodded, very slowly.
Susan continued.
"Jennifer, I want you to understand that whatever you are feeling is totally normal. You are in a good place, because you have an amazing husband to help take care of you, you have the ability and the means to rest as much as you need to, and you can afford treatments. I know this is shocking and not what you wanted to hear, but you caught this early enough, that you will be able to beat this and move on with your life".
She wiped a tear away and nodded.
"It's just, my mom died of breast cancer, and I was determined that I wouldn't."
"I understand. However, genetics play a big part in cancer. We have made tremendous strides medically in regards to treatment since your mother died."
"I know".
Susan checked Jennifer's stitches and told her that she was healing very well.
"Susan, how long am I going to be restricted from physical activity?"
"If you are talking about going jogging, give it a few weeks. If you are talking about taking a walk, give it till tomorrow. And if you are talking about romance, give it another day and take it slow".
"Thank you, Susan. I am so glad I called you when I did".
"I am too."
They chatted briefly about things with her, and Jonathan promised her that he would be a major donor at her next benefit.
"Do you ever hear from Drew?" Susan Kendall's ex-husband had killed his mistress many years ago, a murder that Jonathan witnessed. He also tried to kill Jonathan when he realized that he knew about it.
"I get a letter from time to time. He is still in prison, and will probably never get out. The kids visit him on holidays, and give him money for his commissary needs. He's not as angry as he used to be, but he still hasn't taken responsibility, so as far as I am concerned, he is right where he belongs".
"I completely agree". Jonathan had no sympathy for him at all.
"Well, I won't keep you. If you need something, please call".
"Thank you so much, Susan".
Jonathan saw her out.
Jennifer was sitting on the couch, and just staring off into space.
He came and wrapped his arms around her, and they snuggled as best they could.
"We got this, babe. We will get a second opinion if you want to. I will fly in specialists, top doctors, the best in the business. I will bring you to them, or them to you, if you want".
"Let's listen to what Susan's oncologist has to say, and then decide".
"Ok, that's fair."
"Jonathan, when the swelling goes down, and my chest looks all deflated and nothing like it used to, -"
"No darling. That won't make me love you any less. That won't make a difference to me whatsoever".
"Thank you, darling".
"How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?"
"I am a little hungry. I guess I should start dinner".
"Jennifer, you are not cooking."
"Well, Max has a poker game. I can cook you and me dinner".
"You just had major surgery, darling. You will over exert yourself. Let's order in".
"Well, ok. How about a pizza from Guido's? Our usual?"
"Pepperoni, onions, bell pepper, extra cheese and anchovies".
"You got it".
He placed the order, and then sat there on the couch with her. She put her legs over his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"You are the best nurse I could have ever asked for. I hope I haven't put you out too much, darling".
"Don't be silly. I've barely lifted a finger. For better or for worse, right?"
"You got it. I am sorry that this is the worse".
"It's not the worse, honey. It's not. It's more like a bump in the road. The worse would be driving off a cliff, or losing you to another man. That would be the absolute worst".
"Losing me to another man would be?"
"Yes".
"Me dying from an illness wouldn't be?"
"No, it wouldn't".
He smiled at her.
"Explain please".
"Well you see, darling, I don't want to lose you under any circumstances. But if it was because of a horrible illness, I would know that you are in Heaven and you are healed. If it was because of another man, I would hurt every day, both for myself for letting you get away, and for you, because I know that no other man will ever love you like I do, and you darling, deserve to be loved more than I could ever love you. And you see, I just couldn't handle it if I knew that you weren't being loved like you deserve to be loved".
"I adore you, you know that? Nobody is ever going to have the chance to love me like you do, or more than you do. And you aren't ever going to lose me to another man, because if I can't have you, I don't want anyone else".
She kissed him, and ran her fingers through his hair.
He was trying to be gentle with her, but he wanted to pull her as close to him as possible. He never could get enough of her.
***Friday***
It had been nice having Jonathan working from home all week. Jennifer had really needed him. She barely remembered Monday, the day she found the lump, or Tuesday, the day she had surgery. Wednesday was relaxing, but Thursday, she felt awful. She had a low grade fever and was extremely sore. She slept all day, and barely moved in the bed. Jonathan was so concerned that he called Susan, just to get reassurance that she was ok.
"That sounds totally normal, Jonathan. I will check her out tomorrow, just to be sure. However, if her fever goes up, call me and I'll come over".
"Will do. Thank you".
Jennifer's appointment had been moved to 1. She woke up around 7, and felt much better. The antibiotic was finally kicking in.
She was able to wash her hair in the shower by herself, and she had put on a top without help. She was definitely moving in the right direction.
She had gotten out of the shower, and put some fresh pajamas on, and got back in bed.
Jonathan made her bacon and eggs, and brought it to her on a tray.
"Darling, you are so thoughtful. Thank you".
She kissed him.
"You look like you are feeling better, darling".
"Yes, I am. I think the antibiotic is kicking in".
"You also got a lot of rest, which always helps".
After she was finished eating, he took the tray off the bed, and scooted closer to her.
She snuggled up to him, gently, and they leaned back against the pillows.
Jennifer rested her head on Jonathan's shoulder.
"Honey, what if you or I don't like the options for chemo today?"
"Well, then we will seek out a second opinion. We will come home, and research it, and make another choice".
It wasn't like her to be this anxious, but lord knows she had good reason to be anxious.
She sat up and looked at him.
"I know it probably didn't seem like it, and I apologize for that, but I have really loved having you take care of me this week. You are the only one who always makes me feel better". She kissed him.
"Darling, do you remember what you said to me all those years ago when we thought I was going blind?"
"You mean from the chemical that had been dumped in the pool?"
"Yes. Do you remember what you said to me?"
She shook her head.
"Well, I do. I have never forgotten it. I asked you what we would do if I could never see your beautiful face again. And you told me that there was absolutely nothing in the world that would change the way you felt about me. And that's when I said you would have to take care of me, and you corrected me that we would take care of each other. That's all this is, babe. Me taking care of you, because I love you. You take care of me every day. And there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you".
"Really? Nothing I wouldn't do for you either, darling".
"Good to know".
She leaned forward and kissed him, and he started to unbutton her pajama top.
"Jonathan, are you sure this is a good idea?"
"I'll be gentle, babe."
He kissed her several times, and then they made love.
After 4 incredibly long days, she was starting to feel normal again.
TBC