After
He looks exactly the same: tall, dark skinned, a mess of black hair, and a playful smirk on his face as he listens to whatever story his friend Thom is telling him. I don't even want to enter the shop knowing that he's inside. He wasn't supposed to come back. He wasn't supposed to ever be standing ten feet away from me. I was supposed to be safe in my District, ignoring the world outside my boundaries and pretending like he didn't exist in the first place. And yet, here he is. Gale Hawthorne with all of his glory is back in District Twelve and it's almost like nothing changed. Almost.
I decide that there is no use standing out here, watching like an idiot from the shop window. I had things I needed to buy. Masey would throw a fit if I didn't come home with her favorite cookies again. Besides, District Twelve is now more of my home then it is his. He left and that is his problem. It's no longer mine.
The little bell above the door rings and I hold my head high. It's no longer rare to see a mix of Seam and Town people in the same shop. Since the war, District Twelve has blossomed into a District of farmlands and meadows. Nothing is grey anymore and we no longer fear what's beyond the fence. Our District expanded past the boundaries and the Seam and Town combined to form one solid District where everyone thrived equally. I head for my aisle, keeping my nose in the air and my eyes straight ahead of me. I just had to buy cookies, some milk, and something sweet for me.
My fingers trace along the shelf tops until I reach the cookies I want. I pick the less beaten up box off the shelf and start skimming for something for me. I'm tired of chocolate chip cookies and I hate anything lemon flavored. I want something sweet but something I won't feel guilty about eating afterwards.
"How about some strawberries?" He asks as if he read my mind.
I close my eyes. Gale's voice is exactly how I remember it. It's a tad bit deeper but it has the same hint of playfulness and seriousness mixed in one. I peek at him through my hair which I'm trying to use as a curtain. Gale tilt's his head and cocks a brow. He's leaning against the shelf and I pray that it will tip over from his weight, but then again Gale Hawthorne is never that unlucky. He's waiting for me to say something but in reality all I want to do is punch him hard and preferably in the face.
"I hate strawberries," I reply evenly after a few passing seconds. I lift my head up and stare at him head on. He's wearing some kind of military getup and I can see the pins or medals or whatever they are that line his jacket. He looks older and I guess that's expected considering the last time I saw him was eighteen instead of on the verge of turning twenty-one. He was more mature now. I can see it in the fine lines on his face. The rebellious gleam in his storm grey eyes was no longer apparent and it was replaced with the normal look of a man his age. Actually, he looks almost bored.
I grab the chocolate chip cookies off the shelf even though I don't want them. I just want to get away from him. I duck into the next aisle walking as quickly as I can until I reach the milk.
"Madge," Gale says behind me but I ignore him. In a hurried mess I pull the milk out of the refrigerator and drop both boxes of cookies. Gale scoops them up in a hurried motion. I clutch the handle of the markets refrigerator door and take a deep breath,
"What?" I growl and his brows shoot up in surprise. I don't think he ever got used to me being snappy towards him.
"At least you can say hi," he says and I contemplate just chucking the gallon of milk at him so that it soils his crisp uniform.
"No, the least you can do is give my cookies and leave me the hell alone," I snap and Gale licks his lips deciding that it would probably be better to do as I say instead of pressing my buttons like I know he wants to.
I take a deep breath and stare at him again. He's hurt and confused and I understand why, but he couldn't look at me and treat me like the past two years never happened. I don't want to be unpleasant but I really don't want to be his friend.
"I'm sorry," I mumble and Gale nods. The two of us stand there awkwardly. I count the tiles in the ceiling and Gale shifts from foot to foot. We don't know what to say to each other. What do you say to the person that broke your heart?
"How have you been?" Gale asks after a few minutes collected breaths.
"Is that a trick question?" My voice is still even and not as friendly as it usually is, but I'm glad because I don't want him to think that he has another chance. I don't want to believe that he could have another chance.
"No, I mean I heard. My mom told me, but I –"
"Stop it," I cut him off, holding up a hand so that he doesn't continue talking. "I'm not having this conversation with you right now."
"Well when do you want to have it?" Gale asks and I can see that he's slowly losing his patience with me.
"Never, actually."
Gale's eyes roll to the ceiling and he covers his mouth with one hand so that he doesn't lose his temper in the store. I'm glad that I still have this power over him. It's almost like I won in the long run.
"Look if the baby isn't mine," Gale starts and I laugh. The chuckle is heavy and sarcastic and just plain angry.
"The baby isn't yours. She's mine," I explain to him and Gale just stares at me. "She looks just like you though, in case you care."
"I do care," Gale answers before nervously biting his lip. It's a habit we both have and a habit that Masey picked up. "I'm sorry," he says and I nod my head. I know he's sorry because I know Gale doesn't love anything more than his family and I know that my daughter – our daughter – wouldn't be any different but right now it's too much. Right now I didn't want to care.
"I know." I say as I step around him, "I'll see you around okay?"
"Yeah," Gale says as he lets me pass. "Okay."
It takes me only a minute to pay and run out of the store. I can feel the tightness in my chest and the swelling in my throat. It isn't fair that he can still get this kind of reaction on me. It isn't fair that he can still be so incredibly put together while I think I'm on the verge losing my mind on a continuous basis.
It isn't fair that he came back and I feel restless all over again.
Before
Gale and I had never actually been friends during the first Games, just very strange acquaintances that stole looks at each other from a far and watched their mutual friend fight to the death on my television every evening. During the first Games, Gale had made sure to bring me extra strawberries since he felt bad for using up my time, but it never bothered me like I'm sure he thought it did. I never told him that I actually enjoyed his company, but sometimes I wished I had.
A week after Katniss had returned from the Games I had gotten used to Gale no longer stopping by. He was busy with work in the mines and probably spending his free Sunday's with Katniss and even though I expected our strange relationship to fizzle out this way, I didn't expect it to hurt this much. So in order to keep my mind off my aching heart I busied myself with the garden in the yard or with my piano. The tasks were sometimes enough to keep my mind from fluttering to him and sometimes they weren't. It just depended on the type of day I was having. Constantly I had to remind myself that Gale Hawthorne never actually had any feelings towards me. I was just the mayor's daughter to him and that is probably all I'll ever be.
Once I had engraved that into my head like a mantra, the days of getting over him got easier until he came around and screwed it all up again.
It was the first Sunday after Katniss had left for the Victory tour. I had cozied myself up on my couch and I decided I would not leave my spot for the rest of my night since it was too cold to even go anywhere without a blanket draped over my shoulders. I flipped on the television to find that the only thing on was the Victory Tour. Caesar Flickerman talked animatedly about how excited he was to see the Star-Crossed Lovers of District Twelve and I did my best not to gag.
There was a solid knock on the backdoor and I groaned thinking about having to get up from my spot on the couch. I curled the blankets around my shoulders and rolled off the couch in annoyance. The person at the backdoor knocked again and I grumbled about stupid people in general.
When I pulled the door open I tried not to be surprised by Gale Hawthorne standing on my porch with rosy cheeks and an uncomfortable look on his face. I watched Gale kick some of the snow off the steps before he actually met my eyes.
"Hi Madge," Gale grumbled with an uncertain smile towards me.
"Gale," I grumbled back suddenly wishing that I had never gotten off the couch to see who it was. If I had just let Gale knock he would've gotten too cold and went home and then I wouldn't have had to deal with him.
"Look Madge," Gale began and I stood there awkwardly playing with the hem of my blanket as he fumbled on his words. "I'm sorry I've been ignoring you the past month. I just – I don't know. I guess, I don't have an excuse."
"You don't really need one," I said back pathetically as I pulled the blanket closer to me. "Katniss came back and I shouldn't have expected anything more. We're not friends Gale."
Gale cringed a bit and kicked some more snow away. "I'm still sorry," he said again and I shrugged in return.
"It's okay," I managed to say. He stood there and looked at me and I just stared back. I knew I should have sent him away. I just didn't want to. "Did you want to watch the Victory Tour? It should be just starting." I asked when I realized he was going to leave soon.
Gale started to protest but I pulled him in by the jacket of his sleeve anyways. "Come on, it can be like old times. We can ignore each other and sit uncomfortably far away on the couch."
"I don't want to ignore you," Gale told me with a small chuckle and I did my best to fight the blush that had started to creep onto my cheeks.
"Sure you do. It's the foundation of our friendship," I choked out and Gale smirked at me.
"Well," Gale said with a shrug. "If you insist," he teased as he sat as far away from me as possible on the couch. I bit my lip to stop the smile from forming on my face as I took my spot back on the couch.
Looking back now, I realize this moment was my downfall. I forgave him too easily and from that moment on I was stuck.
A/N: This was inspired after reading How to Love by Katie Cotugno. I thought it would be interesting to see a different relationship unfold between Gale and Madge before and after the war. I also highly recommend How to Love. It's an interesting outlook on teen-pregnancy and romance.
Let me know what you think!
P.S: Kara you can't get mad at me for posting another story. I do what I want.
P.S.S: You also can't have any of my posters.
