Angel's Heaven
"Major Katsuragi! It seems the third child has run away again."
"The HELL!"
"According to our sources the third child was last seen leaving the hospital by a nurse."
"And why didn't she stop him?"
"Apparently he told her that he would make his own way back to home. She assumed that he meant Nerv headquarters. He was no longer seen again. According to the nurse he caught a cab."
"K'so. Why didn't they call us when he woke up?"
"There was no warning. The nurse saw him coming out of his room completely dressed. The monitor had been switched off and this hadn't shown up on their monitors. On the security cameras he seemed fine. He had no wounds and his actions didn't prelude to any psychological disorder. See?"
"...That's not him."
"Nani!"
"That isn't Shinji. He isn't this confident. And he is far too calm considering what happened to put him in there in the first place."
"But if that isn't Shinji...who is he?"
"I don't know but find him."
"No."
"Doushite Ikari-san?"
"We no longer need him. He has done his job and it is obvious he no longer wishes to be part of the organisation. I have no use for him anymore. Pay him for his work and cut all ties with him."
"Demo..."
"..."
"Hai. Delete all files concerned with the third child, including his medical profile, school profile, inform the school that he has left, and piloting profile. Cancel his account in the Nerv network then transfer 300,000 US into his bank account."
"Yosh!"
Ten years later
Asuka Soryu Langley waited impatiently for the train. She just wanted to go home and fall asleep. The day had been hell on drugs. First was putting up with the moronic people at Uni. She taught biomedical science and today's lecture and tutorial had been on Angel and Human DNA. They just did not seem to understand the concept that Angels and Humans all came from the same source, hence the similarity between their DNA. What was so damn hard to understand about that? After that she had gone to her lab in Nerv Headquarters to do more research on Angels but that hadn't turned out well. She kept getting interrupted by the newbies that had arrived after Nerv became merged with Seele, making it another department rather than an offshoot of the organisation. Pulling at her red braid she sighed in impatience. Where the hell was the damn train?
And let's not forget that the computers seemed bent on ignoring everything that Maya was trying to get them to do, Asuka thought with a roll of her eyes. If Asuka did not know better she would have thought that those things had a mind of their own. Today was the day of their creator and her daughter's death. The vixen-like face of Asuka's darkened as she remembered the day that Ritsuko had disappeared only to be found days later with a bullet hole in her head. Maybe the maji system had remembered that it was the day Ritsuko had died. Asuka would not be surprised. The woman had a weird relationship with those machines. The excuse that the machine might be feeling emotional pain did nothing to make Asuka feel better. Sympathy was not in Asuka's nature, the computers either did the job or they did not. And today, they definitely did not.
As bad a temper Asuka was in, it was no surprise that when someone jostled into her and nearly knocked her down, the fiery beauty turned into a harpy. "What is your problem?" she snapped whirling around like a vengeful demon, her eyes lit up in anger and her braid swirling around like a whip. However, her voice came to a halt as she saw the perpetrator.
The young man, who had knocked into her, looked right back, a look of bland disinterest on his face. "Konnichiwa Asuka-chan," a faint smile appeared on the man's face. "It's been a long while hasn't it?"
"Shinji?"
In a small coffee shop tucked away in the corner of Tokyo-3 sat two people, a woman and a man. The woman had dark red hair and bright emerald eyes and spoke Japanese with a slight accent. The man had short unkempt brown hair, electric blue eyes and seemed amused by everything around him. The two sat beside the large window of the coffee shop and ordered two flat white. The waitress noted that the woman seemed to be in shock but the man ignored his companion, smiled at her politely, and gave her a rather large tip.
As soon as the waitress had disappeared Shinji turned to Asuka. "How have you been Asuka?" he asked civilly.
The red-haired woman glared. "I'll be the one asking the questions thank you," she snapped, "What the hell happened to you? I wake up and get told that the first child is dead, the last angel, disguising as the fifth child, has been destroyed, and that the third child has run away."
Shinji smile reminiscently, none of Asuka's panic seemed to affect him. "What happened to me?" he mused out loud, "...Would you believe I saw the light?"
Stunned silence from the girl. "The light?" Asuka demanded, "You saw the fucking light and that was enough reason for you to run away?!" Her loud voice had attracted the attention of people around them. Shinji smiled and waved at them politely. When they saw the polite young man and the incensed young woman they assumed that it was a lover's tiff or some sort of reunion between old lovers and went back to their own business.
Shinji shook his head. "You shouldn't talk so loudly Asuka, people might hear you." He smiled impishly. Asuka was hard pressed not to smack the man across the face.
"Answer quickly boy or you will die," Asuka threatened.
She was surprised to hear a laugh come out of Shinji's mouth. This carefree laughter was not one she had ever heard before. "Always the same Asuka. I've missed you," he teased, smiling at her. "Shinji," she growled.
The young man leaned back in his chair, smiling at the waitress as she returned with the drinks. Asuka waited impatiently for her to leave. Shinji however, did not look the slightest bit impatient. "Domo," Shinji said politely when the waitress had finished her task. With an answering smile for the nice young man, the waitress left, once again leaving Asuka and Shinji on their own.
Shinji took a sip from the coffee and sighed in rapture. "It's good coffee. How did you find a place like this Asuka?" he grimaced when he saw her icy face, "Hai, hai, the story. Always impatient...Did they tell you about the fifth child?"
"The one that was the last angel? Misato wouldn't shut up about him. She was so upset he got past the defence system and got to Lillith." Asuka rolled her eyes as she remembered the way Misato went on about the fifth pilot and how he had entered Central Dogma and nearly caused the third impact if not for Shinji's timely entrance. After a week of this, Asuka was heartily tired of listening to her rants.
Shinji nodded. "That's the one. Did they tell you why he didn't end up causing the third impact in the end?"
Asuka gave him a strange look. Surely he would know. "Er...Apparently you stopped him just as he was about to activate the impact and killed him." From Shinji's sudden frown that was the wrong answer.
"They got it wrong. Then again, they couldn't have seen it could they?" he said, almost as if he were speaking to himself. Asuka fought the urge to shake the man by the shoulders. Would he ever stop talking in circles and riddles? She wanted answers and she wanted them now.
Taking a deep breath to calm herself she stared at her ex-comrade with a calm façade. "Care to explain Shinji?"
"Hmm...Well. Plainly put, I didn't get there in time."
"Nani?" Asuka asked, shocked by Shinji's word. What did he mean 'he didn't get there in time'? Of course he had, otherwise the angels would have won. He must be delusional.
Shinji seemed entertained by her shock. "I didn't get there in time," he repeated cheerfully, "I was far too late, having taken the time to subdue Unit Two. By the time I arrived, he had already seen Lillith and could have easily started the third impact." He seemed totally calm as he spoke about the near ending of the world. In sharp contrast Asuka seemed flabbergasted. They had almost died??
Asuka opened her mouth and finding nothing to say closed it. This happened twice more before she finally gathered her thoughts. "Then why aren't we dead yet?" she asked surprisingly calmly, "Why didn't he start the third impact?"
At this Shinji's smile faded away to be replaced by a smile that looked bitter and amused at the same time. "Because he developed a heart. Because he loved mankind too much. Because he loved me. Choose any one of those, all of them are correct." Asuka sat still, shocked to the core by Shinji's words. The angel had loved humankind, had loved Shinji? What was the world coming to?
"W – What do you mean he lo – loved?" Asuka stammered, "Angels don't love. That's why they attacked humans."
Shinji's smile froze and Asuka froze in her seat. His eyes...his eyes were filled with indignant anger, much like Gendo Ikari's did when one insulted his dreams. It was...frightening to see the father in the son. "Angels love. Angels love so much that they would destroy humanity to save the world, the innocent souls, the future. They killed humans so that they would no longer suffer on earth. They loved humankind so much they would willingly sin for them. Angels sacrificed their eternal souls just so that humans would not suffer for their faults."
Asuka was speechless. This was a concept she had never considered before. Angels killing to save humans? Angels destroying life because they loved humankind? Where was the logic in that? Where was the justice? "Then why the hell didn't Nagisa Kaworu go ahead and initiated the third impact?" she snapped, insisting on an answer from him. How could he even think that Angels actually resembled the image they represented in the Bible? She had seen far too much sorrow and death to contemplated even forgiving the beings. It was merely an excuse she was sure.
"Because he did not agree with his brothers and sisters. He thought that humans deserved another chance. Because he loved me far too much to let me die, fading in to eternity. Angels love, but they aren't supposed to love one more than others. They aren't supposed to choose favourites. Kaworu, or should I say Tabris, was never one for following rules. But what else can you expect from the angel of free will?" Shinji silently waited for Asuka to get over her shock. He took the time to drink his coffee and look outside the shop.
"So he died all because he loved you. Is that what you're saying?" Asuka asked.
Shinji turned back to her with a thoughtful expression. "Sounds quite arrogant doesn't it?" he mused, "I sound so sure that an angel loved me when no one had even noticed me before. Even after my father abandoned me, my schoolmates ignored me, my colleagues demeaned me on a daily basis. Even after all of that, I still have the arrogance to think that someone as pure as an angel could fall in love with me. How absolutely arrogant." He tilted his head and smiled at Asuka. "That's what you're thinking aren't you?"
"N – No. But how makes you so sure he loved you?" Asuka winced as she realised how harsh that sounded, "I mean how do you know he..." She tried to find a way to explain herself and had a feeling she failed. However, Shinji did not seem upset.
"Perhaps because he told me, "Shinji replied with an amused tone in his voice.
Asuka shook her head, overwhelmed by all the information she had just received. "Right. An angel fell in love with you, and that's why we're all still alive, the sun is still shining, and this café is still here," she summed up, "I have no idea why but I believe you. I must be crazy."
Shinji hid his smile behind his coffee cup. "Not crazy, just off balance."
Grimacing, Asuka finally took a sip from her rapidly cooling coffee. "Thanks. Ethereal Romeo and Juliet, that's all you needed in your life to make it complete. Damn, it's a pity he's dead. You seem to have crap luck when it comes to romance."
Shinji laughed at her words. "Indeed," he agreed.
Staring at the young man Asuka found it strange that he was not betraying some form of sorrow for the last angel. He sounded as if he too had loved the angel so she found it somewhat bizarre for Shinji to be laughing so freely at the thought of his death. She hesitated a moment before asking the question that had been burning in her mind, "Don't you...regret it?"
A reflective frown marred Shinji's pale brow. He stared at her with mirror- like blue eyes, reflecting her own image back at her. "Do you ever wonder what happens to Angels when they die?" Asuka looked up in surprise. The question seemed strange to her ears. That was certainly a non sequitur.
"Not really, why?"
"Angels must go somewhere when they die right? If they're so similar to humans."
Asuka paused to think. That had never occurred to her but now that she thought about it, it made sense. Angels all had souls and bodies and when the bodies were destroyed the soul must go somewhere. "To Heaven?" Asuka hazarded a guess.
A sudden smile lit up Shinji's face. "And what is Heaven?" Asuka felt like a student being led to some important realisation by a gentle teacher. It was interesting to see how much confidence that Shinji had now compared to his timidity as a fourteen-year-old.
Asuka gathered her thoughts, trying to arrange it into some form of semblance. "A place of eternal happiness."
"What makes you happy? Who were you with when you were the happiest?"
"What's with all the questions?" Asuka asked, her annoyance getting the better of her.
"Just be patient. There is a method to my madness you know," Shinji gently chided. Asuka nodded sceptically.
"Uh-huh. It'd better be worth it, that's all I'm saying," she warned, "Who was I with when I was the happiest? My mother I suppose." That answer was not hard to find. As a child she had adored her mother, centred her entire life around her mother. At least, she had done all those things before her mother had died. After that, life seemed a little less colourful and a little bit darker.
"Sou ka," Shinji murmured, "Why were you so happy when you were with your mother?"
Asuka thought back. "Because I loved her. She was my world." Asuka did not mention how broken she had been when she had found her mother's body. Even now, when she had learned that her mother had always been with her in the eva it was still hard to get rid of the image of her mother dangling from the ceiling. She said nothing of this to Shinji however, he had no right to her memories and fears.
If Shinji discerned her thoughts he said nothing of it. He only nodded at her. "That must be true for angels too then. They are happiest when they are with the one they love. For most it was God. For Kaworu, it was me. So tell me, if Heaven is eternal happiness and you are most happy when you are with the person you love doesn't it make sense that being with that person forever is Heaven?"
A single eyebrow arched. Ever the scientist Asuka pointed out a flaw in his reasoning. "Interesting concept. But what if one is dead and the other is alive?"
"It doesn't matter. Just imagine, your soul forever in touch with the soul of the one you love. Never having to fear that you'll be alone. Never feeling your heart shatter as you realise that the one you love is dead simply for the reason that they're already there with you. Never ever fearing again that you'll be alone when the darkness comes to get you because there's always someone holding onto your hand and never letting go. Knowing that there's someone who loves you unconditionally. Always."
Asuka could almost feel his words washing over her. And it seemed, somehow, that she could feel a warm blanket enfolding her. She could smell the familiar scent of the lavenders and roses that her mother used to wear. The air around her stirred with life, teasing her hair, caressing her face. And just for a second, it was just like the rainy days in Germany when her mother would hold her close and they would watch the rain together. There was warmth, there was life, there was hope, there was love. Even after the feeling went away, the memory of it was enough. Asuka smiled, it was enough. "And this is Heaven for you?"
Shinji finished his coffee. "It's Heaven for everyone." He stood up and extended his hand to her. "Thank you for the conversation Asuka. I've missed all of it. Tell Misato that I said hi, and so does Kaworu."
Asuka frowned. "Kaworu?"
"Hai." With a smile for her he turned and left, leaving her frowning in confusion.
"But isn't Kaworu – "Shinji disappeared into a crowd of people, "– Dead?" Asuka scowled. He was still weird.
He opened the door to his apartment. "Tadaima!"
Warm arms encircled him from behind. "Okaeri nasai Shinji-kun. How was your day?"
"Pretty good. Asuka looks fine. Her temper is still the same though. She'll always be the fiery pilot two. She scares me a bit actually."
"I can imagine. What do you think something western for dinner?"
"Sounds fine to me."
"What did you two talk about?"
A mock scowled appeared on his face. "You should know. You were there too."
"True. But I want to know what you thought of it."
"Strange. I thought I saw her mother for a second."
"You did. She was watching over her daughter like always."
"You saw her?"
"Of course. Us guardian angels have to look out for each other, you know."
"Of course."
"Don't sound so sceptical."
"I'm not sceptical. I'm just upset that you didn't tell me you saw her. I thought I was hallucinating when I saw that flicker."
"Do you think you're hallucinating when you see me?"
"No!"
"Then what makes it so hard to believe that Asuka's mother would watch over her?"
"...Ok, forget I said anything. I was just being stupid."
"I agree Shinji-kun no baka."
"Oi! You didn't have to agree so readily."
"Hai, hai. You know I love you Shinji-kun."
"Aa, I love you too K-chan."
"Don't call me by that despicable name."
"All right, all right. I love you too Kaworu-koi."
"Hmph, much better."
"You guardian angels and your pride."
Owari
Author's note: And yet again, I come up with a completely pointless fic. Bloody muses. I blame Oneesan for this one. She didn't really have anything to do with it but I might as well blame someone. To be truthful, I should blame Mikkeneko, even if she has no idea she inspired me. She wrote a great GW fic. In the last scene Heero/Duo was talking to Quatre about Heaven. I've incorporated some of her ideas so if you're reading this Mikkeneko, gomen ne. I was also listening to Evanescence while writing this and their angsty music affected me as well. I'm so impressionable. I'm sorry about the format of the whole thing but won't let me do anything!
Ja,
(a frustrated)SYF
"Major Katsuragi! It seems the third child has run away again."
"The HELL!"
"According to our sources the third child was last seen leaving the hospital by a nurse."
"And why didn't she stop him?"
"Apparently he told her that he would make his own way back to home. She assumed that he meant Nerv headquarters. He was no longer seen again. According to the nurse he caught a cab."
"K'so. Why didn't they call us when he woke up?"
"There was no warning. The nurse saw him coming out of his room completely dressed. The monitor had been switched off and this hadn't shown up on their monitors. On the security cameras he seemed fine. He had no wounds and his actions didn't prelude to any psychological disorder. See?"
"...That's not him."
"Nani!"
"That isn't Shinji. He isn't this confident. And he is far too calm considering what happened to put him in there in the first place."
"But if that isn't Shinji...who is he?"
"I don't know but find him."
"No."
"Doushite Ikari-san?"
"We no longer need him. He has done his job and it is obvious he no longer wishes to be part of the organisation. I have no use for him anymore. Pay him for his work and cut all ties with him."
"Demo..."
"..."
"Hai. Delete all files concerned with the third child, including his medical profile, school profile, inform the school that he has left, and piloting profile. Cancel his account in the Nerv network then transfer 300,000 US into his bank account."
"Yosh!"
Ten years later
Asuka Soryu Langley waited impatiently for the train. She just wanted to go home and fall asleep. The day had been hell on drugs. First was putting up with the moronic people at Uni. She taught biomedical science and today's lecture and tutorial had been on Angel and Human DNA. They just did not seem to understand the concept that Angels and Humans all came from the same source, hence the similarity between their DNA. What was so damn hard to understand about that? After that she had gone to her lab in Nerv Headquarters to do more research on Angels but that hadn't turned out well. She kept getting interrupted by the newbies that had arrived after Nerv became merged with Seele, making it another department rather than an offshoot of the organisation. Pulling at her red braid she sighed in impatience. Where the hell was the damn train?
And let's not forget that the computers seemed bent on ignoring everything that Maya was trying to get them to do, Asuka thought with a roll of her eyes. If Asuka did not know better she would have thought that those things had a mind of their own. Today was the day of their creator and her daughter's death. The vixen-like face of Asuka's darkened as she remembered the day that Ritsuko had disappeared only to be found days later with a bullet hole in her head. Maybe the maji system had remembered that it was the day Ritsuko had died. Asuka would not be surprised. The woman had a weird relationship with those machines. The excuse that the machine might be feeling emotional pain did nothing to make Asuka feel better. Sympathy was not in Asuka's nature, the computers either did the job or they did not. And today, they definitely did not.
As bad a temper Asuka was in, it was no surprise that when someone jostled into her and nearly knocked her down, the fiery beauty turned into a harpy. "What is your problem?" she snapped whirling around like a vengeful demon, her eyes lit up in anger and her braid swirling around like a whip. However, her voice came to a halt as she saw the perpetrator.
The young man, who had knocked into her, looked right back, a look of bland disinterest on his face. "Konnichiwa Asuka-chan," a faint smile appeared on the man's face. "It's been a long while hasn't it?"
"Shinji?"
In a small coffee shop tucked away in the corner of Tokyo-3 sat two people, a woman and a man. The woman had dark red hair and bright emerald eyes and spoke Japanese with a slight accent. The man had short unkempt brown hair, electric blue eyes and seemed amused by everything around him. The two sat beside the large window of the coffee shop and ordered two flat white. The waitress noted that the woman seemed to be in shock but the man ignored his companion, smiled at her politely, and gave her a rather large tip.
As soon as the waitress had disappeared Shinji turned to Asuka. "How have you been Asuka?" he asked civilly.
The red-haired woman glared. "I'll be the one asking the questions thank you," she snapped, "What the hell happened to you? I wake up and get told that the first child is dead, the last angel, disguising as the fifth child, has been destroyed, and that the third child has run away."
Shinji smile reminiscently, none of Asuka's panic seemed to affect him. "What happened to me?" he mused out loud, "...Would you believe I saw the light?"
Stunned silence from the girl. "The light?" Asuka demanded, "You saw the fucking light and that was enough reason for you to run away?!" Her loud voice had attracted the attention of people around them. Shinji smiled and waved at them politely. When they saw the polite young man and the incensed young woman they assumed that it was a lover's tiff or some sort of reunion between old lovers and went back to their own business.
Shinji shook his head. "You shouldn't talk so loudly Asuka, people might hear you." He smiled impishly. Asuka was hard pressed not to smack the man across the face.
"Answer quickly boy or you will die," Asuka threatened.
She was surprised to hear a laugh come out of Shinji's mouth. This carefree laughter was not one she had ever heard before. "Always the same Asuka. I've missed you," he teased, smiling at her. "Shinji," she growled.
The young man leaned back in his chair, smiling at the waitress as she returned with the drinks. Asuka waited impatiently for her to leave. Shinji however, did not look the slightest bit impatient. "Domo," Shinji said politely when the waitress had finished her task. With an answering smile for the nice young man, the waitress left, once again leaving Asuka and Shinji on their own.
Shinji took a sip from the coffee and sighed in rapture. "It's good coffee. How did you find a place like this Asuka?" he grimaced when he saw her icy face, "Hai, hai, the story. Always impatient...Did they tell you about the fifth child?"
"The one that was the last angel? Misato wouldn't shut up about him. She was so upset he got past the defence system and got to Lillith." Asuka rolled her eyes as she remembered the way Misato went on about the fifth pilot and how he had entered Central Dogma and nearly caused the third impact if not for Shinji's timely entrance. After a week of this, Asuka was heartily tired of listening to her rants.
Shinji nodded. "That's the one. Did they tell you why he didn't end up causing the third impact in the end?"
Asuka gave him a strange look. Surely he would know. "Er...Apparently you stopped him just as he was about to activate the impact and killed him." From Shinji's sudden frown that was the wrong answer.
"They got it wrong. Then again, they couldn't have seen it could they?" he said, almost as if he were speaking to himself. Asuka fought the urge to shake the man by the shoulders. Would he ever stop talking in circles and riddles? She wanted answers and she wanted them now.
Taking a deep breath to calm herself she stared at her ex-comrade with a calm façade. "Care to explain Shinji?"
"Hmm...Well. Plainly put, I didn't get there in time."
"Nani?" Asuka asked, shocked by Shinji's word. What did he mean 'he didn't get there in time'? Of course he had, otherwise the angels would have won. He must be delusional.
Shinji seemed entertained by her shock. "I didn't get there in time," he repeated cheerfully, "I was far too late, having taken the time to subdue Unit Two. By the time I arrived, he had already seen Lillith and could have easily started the third impact." He seemed totally calm as he spoke about the near ending of the world. In sharp contrast Asuka seemed flabbergasted. They had almost died??
Asuka opened her mouth and finding nothing to say closed it. This happened twice more before she finally gathered her thoughts. "Then why aren't we dead yet?" she asked surprisingly calmly, "Why didn't he start the third impact?"
At this Shinji's smile faded away to be replaced by a smile that looked bitter and amused at the same time. "Because he developed a heart. Because he loved mankind too much. Because he loved me. Choose any one of those, all of them are correct." Asuka sat still, shocked to the core by Shinji's words. The angel had loved humankind, had loved Shinji? What was the world coming to?
"W – What do you mean he lo – loved?" Asuka stammered, "Angels don't love. That's why they attacked humans."
Shinji's smile froze and Asuka froze in her seat. His eyes...his eyes were filled with indignant anger, much like Gendo Ikari's did when one insulted his dreams. It was...frightening to see the father in the son. "Angels love. Angels love so much that they would destroy humanity to save the world, the innocent souls, the future. They killed humans so that they would no longer suffer on earth. They loved humankind so much they would willingly sin for them. Angels sacrificed their eternal souls just so that humans would not suffer for their faults."
Asuka was speechless. This was a concept she had never considered before. Angels killing to save humans? Angels destroying life because they loved humankind? Where was the logic in that? Where was the justice? "Then why the hell didn't Nagisa Kaworu go ahead and initiated the third impact?" she snapped, insisting on an answer from him. How could he even think that Angels actually resembled the image they represented in the Bible? She had seen far too much sorrow and death to contemplated even forgiving the beings. It was merely an excuse she was sure.
"Because he did not agree with his brothers and sisters. He thought that humans deserved another chance. Because he loved me far too much to let me die, fading in to eternity. Angels love, but they aren't supposed to love one more than others. They aren't supposed to choose favourites. Kaworu, or should I say Tabris, was never one for following rules. But what else can you expect from the angel of free will?" Shinji silently waited for Asuka to get over her shock. He took the time to drink his coffee and look outside the shop.
"So he died all because he loved you. Is that what you're saying?" Asuka asked.
Shinji turned back to her with a thoughtful expression. "Sounds quite arrogant doesn't it?" he mused, "I sound so sure that an angel loved me when no one had even noticed me before. Even after my father abandoned me, my schoolmates ignored me, my colleagues demeaned me on a daily basis. Even after all of that, I still have the arrogance to think that someone as pure as an angel could fall in love with me. How absolutely arrogant." He tilted his head and smiled at Asuka. "That's what you're thinking aren't you?"
"N – No. But how makes you so sure he loved you?" Asuka winced as she realised how harsh that sounded, "I mean how do you know he..." She tried to find a way to explain herself and had a feeling she failed. However, Shinji did not seem upset.
"Perhaps because he told me, "Shinji replied with an amused tone in his voice.
Asuka shook her head, overwhelmed by all the information she had just received. "Right. An angel fell in love with you, and that's why we're all still alive, the sun is still shining, and this café is still here," she summed up, "I have no idea why but I believe you. I must be crazy."
Shinji hid his smile behind his coffee cup. "Not crazy, just off balance."
Grimacing, Asuka finally took a sip from her rapidly cooling coffee. "Thanks. Ethereal Romeo and Juliet, that's all you needed in your life to make it complete. Damn, it's a pity he's dead. You seem to have crap luck when it comes to romance."
Shinji laughed at her words. "Indeed," he agreed.
Staring at the young man Asuka found it strange that he was not betraying some form of sorrow for the last angel. He sounded as if he too had loved the angel so she found it somewhat bizarre for Shinji to be laughing so freely at the thought of his death. She hesitated a moment before asking the question that had been burning in her mind, "Don't you...regret it?"
A reflective frown marred Shinji's pale brow. He stared at her with mirror- like blue eyes, reflecting her own image back at her. "Do you ever wonder what happens to Angels when they die?" Asuka looked up in surprise. The question seemed strange to her ears. That was certainly a non sequitur.
"Not really, why?"
"Angels must go somewhere when they die right? If they're so similar to humans."
Asuka paused to think. That had never occurred to her but now that she thought about it, it made sense. Angels all had souls and bodies and when the bodies were destroyed the soul must go somewhere. "To Heaven?" Asuka hazarded a guess.
A sudden smile lit up Shinji's face. "And what is Heaven?" Asuka felt like a student being led to some important realisation by a gentle teacher. It was interesting to see how much confidence that Shinji had now compared to his timidity as a fourteen-year-old.
Asuka gathered her thoughts, trying to arrange it into some form of semblance. "A place of eternal happiness."
"What makes you happy? Who were you with when you were the happiest?"
"What's with all the questions?" Asuka asked, her annoyance getting the better of her.
"Just be patient. There is a method to my madness you know," Shinji gently chided. Asuka nodded sceptically.
"Uh-huh. It'd better be worth it, that's all I'm saying," she warned, "Who was I with when I was the happiest? My mother I suppose." That answer was not hard to find. As a child she had adored her mother, centred her entire life around her mother. At least, she had done all those things before her mother had died. After that, life seemed a little less colourful and a little bit darker.
"Sou ka," Shinji murmured, "Why were you so happy when you were with your mother?"
Asuka thought back. "Because I loved her. She was my world." Asuka did not mention how broken she had been when she had found her mother's body. Even now, when she had learned that her mother had always been with her in the eva it was still hard to get rid of the image of her mother dangling from the ceiling. She said nothing of this to Shinji however, he had no right to her memories and fears.
If Shinji discerned her thoughts he said nothing of it. He only nodded at her. "That must be true for angels too then. They are happiest when they are with the one they love. For most it was God. For Kaworu, it was me. So tell me, if Heaven is eternal happiness and you are most happy when you are with the person you love doesn't it make sense that being with that person forever is Heaven?"
A single eyebrow arched. Ever the scientist Asuka pointed out a flaw in his reasoning. "Interesting concept. But what if one is dead and the other is alive?"
"It doesn't matter. Just imagine, your soul forever in touch with the soul of the one you love. Never having to fear that you'll be alone. Never feeling your heart shatter as you realise that the one you love is dead simply for the reason that they're already there with you. Never ever fearing again that you'll be alone when the darkness comes to get you because there's always someone holding onto your hand and never letting go. Knowing that there's someone who loves you unconditionally. Always."
Asuka could almost feel his words washing over her. And it seemed, somehow, that she could feel a warm blanket enfolding her. She could smell the familiar scent of the lavenders and roses that her mother used to wear. The air around her stirred with life, teasing her hair, caressing her face. And just for a second, it was just like the rainy days in Germany when her mother would hold her close and they would watch the rain together. There was warmth, there was life, there was hope, there was love. Even after the feeling went away, the memory of it was enough. Asuka smiled, it was enough. "And this is Heaven for you?"
Shinji finished his coffee. "It's Heaven for everyone." He stood up and extended his hand to her. "Thank you for the conversation Asuka. I've missed all of it. Tell Misato that I said hi, and so does Kaworu."
Asuka frowned. "Kaworu?"
"Hai." With a smile for her he turned and left, leaving her frowning in confusion.
"But isn't Kaworu – "Shinji disappeared into a crowd of people, "– Dead?" Asuka scowled. He was still weird.
He opened the door to his apartment. "Tadaima!"
Warm arms encircled him from behind. "Okaeri nasai Shinji-kun. How was your day?"
"Pretty good. Asuka looks fine. Her temper is still the same though. She'll always be the fiery pilot two. She scares me a bit actually."
"I can imagine. What do you think something western for dinner?"
"Sounds fine to me."
"What did you two talk about?"
A mock scowled appeared on his face. "You should know. You were there too."
"True. But I want to know what you thought of it."
"Strange. I thought I saw her mother for a second."
"You did. She was watching over her daughter like always."
"You saw her?"
"Of course. Us guardian angels have to look out for each other, you know."
"Of course."
"Don't sound so sceptical."
"I'm not sceptical. I'm just upset that you didn't tell me you saw her. I thought I was hallucinating when I saw that flicker."
"Do you think you're hallucinating when you see me?"
"No!"
"Then what makes it so hard to believe that Asuka's mother would watch over her?"
"...Ok, forget I said anything. I was just being stupid."
"I agree Shinji-kun no baka."
"Oi! You didn't have to agree so readily."
"Hai, hai. You know I love you Shinji-kun."
"Aa, I love you too K-chan."
"Don't call me by that despicable name."
"All right, all right. I love you too Kaworu-koi."
"Hmph, much better."
"You guardian angels and your pride."
Owari
Author's note: And yet again, I come up with a completely pointless fic. Bloody muses. I blame Oneesan for this one. She didn't really have anything to do with it but I might as well blame someone. To be truthful, I should blame Mikkeneko, even if she has no idea she inspired me. She wrote a great GW fic. In the last scene Heero/Duo was talking to Quatre about Heaven. I've incorporated some of her ideas so if you're reading this Mikkeneko, gomen ne. I was also listening to Evanescence while writing this and their angsty music affected me as well. I'm so impressionable. I'm sorry about the format of the whole thing but won't let me do anything!
Ja,
(a frustrated)SYF