One-Shot. I know I already did a story where the Doctor gets drunk, but it's just so much fun!
"How about... We play a game?" Captain Jack Harkness said, sitting on a chair in the console room and putting his legs up on a lever carelessly.
"A game? Like what?" Rose asked him, eyeing his mischievous grin suspiciously.
"A drinking game," Jack said, smiling at the Doctor's disgusted face. "What's wrong, Doc? Are you a light-weight?"
"Of course not, I can't even get drunk..." The Time-Lord murmured nervously, examining a pen he pulled out of his pocket.
"What about you, Rose? You up for it?" The Captain asked, beaming at her.
"Sure, I guess so. But what game?"
"We can make one up! The TARDIS drinking game!" Jack got up from his seat and grabbed Rose and the Doctor by their arms. "I bet there's alcohol in the kitchen!" He lead them to the ship's kitchen and pulled out a bunch of small shot cups and three large bottles of vodka. He walked back into the console room and spread out all the cups on the floor. "Alright, fill each of these cups halfway."
"Uh Jack, this stuff is kind of heavy on the alcohol... Are you sure that this is a good idea?" The Doctor asked, nervously adjusting his brown coat.
"Said the Time-Lord who 'can't get drunk.' Come on, don't be a sissy!" Jack continued filling the cups.
"How will this game work?" Rose asked, helping Jack fill the cups.
"Hmm..." Jack muttered. "What about... We roll die, and if its even, you take a shot. If its odd, you pick someone else to take a shot."
"We don't have any dice, none, zip, nada, no dice on board my ship," The Doctor said, shrugging. Rose rolled her eyes and reached into his pockets, pulling out a red die. "Well, I have never seen that before in my life," He said blushing.
"Let's let you start, Doc," Jack said, smiling.
"Fine..." The Doctor rolled the die on the floor in surrender, and rolled a four. He swallowed nervously and grabbed a cup from the floor. He brought it to his lips and drank it reluctantly.
"My turn," Rose said, grabbing the die and rolling it. She landed a one. "I say... The Doctor has to take another."
Jack smiled at her and the Doctor simply stared at her, "Rose!" He groaned, picking up another cup and drinking.
The Captain rolled a one as well and made the Doctor drink again. "Alright," The Doctor murmured, "My turn!"He rubbed his hands together with the dice in them and rolled it. He got a two. "Are you kidding me?!"
After about an hour, the Doctor was stumbling around wasted, while Rose and Jack barely had anything. "He is such a light-weight," Jack whispered to Rose. "I can't believe he didn't notice that my vortex manipulator was messing with the die that whole game!"
"And he will kill us later if we let him stumble around saying dumb things."
"Well," Jack stood up, "He can kill you but I'm another story."
"JACK! Jackyjoo, Cap'n Hardness," The Doctor laughed, falling against the wall of the ship.
"How are you feeling Doc?" Jack smiled, gesturing for Rose to record all of this.
"Feeling? Feeling meeling peeling. PEELING! Peeling a banana," The Time-Lord grabbed Jack by the shoulders, "Jack, get me a banana."
"Get your own banana!" Jack said over-dramatically.
The Doctor frowned, "Let's go to the planet of bananas!" He jumped towards the console but was held back by Rose.
"We're already on the planet of bananas!" Rose said.
"Rose. You are so. So so so so so. Soooooo. So. So. So. So so so so. Super duper whooper blooper," He fell to the ground again in laughter.
"I'm so what Doctor?"
"Oh my god! I'm a Doctor!" He exclaimed, getting up. "Rose Tyler you are my patient!"
"What's wrong with me?"
The Doctor frowned and approached her, "There is nothing wrong with you Roseyroodle."
Rose glanced at Jack who was trying to contain his laughter. "We should really get you into bed, Doctor," Rose said, guiding him by his arm.
"Look! I have a tie!" He took off his tie and waved it around over his head.
"He's much more fun this way," Jack commented.
"Way? Way hey, partner! Oh Rose..." He said, looking at Rose who was still trying to guide him to his bedroom. "You're so hot for a human."
Rose started blushing like mad, "Doctor, you're drunk."
He started laughing not unlike a maniac, "Why do you keep calling me Doctor?!"
"What else should I call you?" Rose questioned.
"You, Rosepper, can call me whatever you'd like," He pointed at her and spoke in a deep, slow voice.
Jack fell to the floor in uncontrollable laughter. "At this point, Jack, I think he'll find a way to kill you," Rose mumbled.
The Doctor started playing with her hair, "Why is it yellow?" He asked, concerned. "Are you okay?"
"My hair is always yellow."
"Is my hair yellow?" He asked, feeling his head.
"Nope."
He began crying, "But.. I need yellow hair!"
"Why do you need yellow hair?" She laughed lightly, watching him try to braid her hair.
"Because you like yellow hair. But mine is red."
"Actually, it's brown. But I like your hair," She stroked his hair with one hand, forgetting that Jack was watching this entire scene behind her.
The Doctor pulled Rose to him, closing the distance between them, and kissed her. She could taste alcohol and happiness on his lips.
"Ahem," Jack coughed, "Hi."
"Oh... Hello," Rose pulled away from the Time-Lord to face Jack.
"I'm guessing I can't join in so I'll just go to... Uh... The library."
"He can jo-" The Doctor began, but Rose cut him off with another kiss.
"You're drunk, your opinion on Jack kissing you doesn't matter," Rose laughed.
He kissed Rose's ear lightly, whispering words in languages she didn't recognize. She pushed him against the wall of the console room, bringing his lips back to hers. The Doctor stopped for a minute and gained enough sense to sprint down the hall of the ship to his bedroom.
He pinned Rose down on his bed, pressing kisses along her neck and head. "Let's play this game more often," He whispered.
"I agree completely."