Title: Go Alone
Disclaimer: No own
Rating: PG-ish? I'm horrible at doing ratings.
A/N: I have no beta therefore I'm sure there's things wrong. Feel free to point them out, just be nice please. No pairings, although I suppose there's hints of Dean really loving his brother? But I guess you can take it as a subtle thing. I can be reached at: anney (underscore) kun2 (at) yahoo (dot) com
Word count: 557
Summary: He knows that at some point in time he'll move to slow and instead of a near miss it'll be a straight hit.
Go Alone
He knows that at some point in time he'll move to slow and instead of a near miss it'll be a straight hit with his body falling to the ground in what feels like slow motion but is really time sped up to fast. It's one of those things he knows without knowing. It's one of those things that's hard to explain.par par
There's a quote that he can't quite remember. Something about life going out with a whimper, not a bang. That seems fitting, he thinks, spread out on the ground bleeding from a wound that he can only feel around the edges of his awareness. A wound that he felt getting; fuck but how he felt the claw as it sunk in and tore out, a claw that was sharper than any knife he had ever held. He's a little jealous of that sharpness. Imagine all the damage he could do with an edge that sharp. All the things he could fight and kill. All the people he could save.
It's a dark night but there was a little bit of light from the moon. He wonders where it went as he listens to the sounds of the fight still raging on fade away.
Waking up in the hospital is nothing new. He has memories he'd rather forget about hospitals. One of his earliest one is ina hospital. Smoke inhalation, shock, fear, pain, loss. Hospitals aren't anything to be looked forward to. He can remember the cries of a baby in his small armswhile sitting in theemergency room as his father talked to a police man.
I'm not sure how the fire started.
I gave Sammy to Dean and told him to run.
I couldn't find her.
I don't know what happened, it's really all just a blur.
I'll call if I remember anything.
He has memories of hospitals being nothing but lies.
The first scar he gets isn't from a hunt or a fight or evenan accident. It's from Sammy. There's nothing in the world that can scar him like Sam. Nothing in the world that won't fade away like that one little thing that's really so large.
Sammy didn't scar until he was close to fifteen. Numerous fights that he was kept from getting hurt too badly in. Numerous things that were kept so very clean, kept so very neatly cared for. He can remember covering Sammy in bandages while dripping blood on a floor covered in carpet so cheap and stained that he couldn't tell which spot was his own marking of having been somewhere and what was someone elses.
He turns twenty in the same hotel room and traces the marks he might have left with his eyes while he bleeds out more for the next year.
He had dreams once. Dreams that he doesn't think about, because what's the point in the end? Why waste time dreaming when it could get you killed. He does what needs to be done and he kills what needs to be killed and in the end he walks away damaged while someone else stays alive. He takes the punches, the kicks, the rips and wounds and agony that's meant for someone else.
When it's finally time to go, he thinks, it'll probably be painful but he won't be going alone.
(end)