White Boy Problems, by Dickfart
"Dear journal,
"Hi, it's me, Doug.
"We move here to Bluffington seven years ago. It has also been six year since I write in my journal.
"I am updating my journal thusly. We are at Bluffington High School. High school is sucks because I always have a boner. Porkchop used to help me by gobbling my scholng, but he got splattered by a truck last year. no one to help me rub one out now.
"Speaking of out, guess who's gay? That's right, Patti Mayonnaise. I was gonna ask her out on a date, but on the day I was finally gonna pop the question, I walked in on Patti getting her cooch gobbled by my sister Judy. I can't believe Patti is such a lesbina. My dick would fix that if she'd just give me the chance. I'm a nice guy.
"You know what else sucks, journal? My parents are making me choose between getting a PS4 or Xbone for christmans. They already bought me a gay ass Wii U last year when I specifically asked for 80 hours of bukkake on stunning Disney 1080p bluray. Also, my iPod is outdated. GOD, journal, WHY DO MY PARENTS HATE ME?
"Anyway, joural, I need to go bluck every hair out of my asshole individually. Roger says it's the only way he won't cream me."
to be dougtinued