Summary: One day I make the mistake of taking Gin to Wal Mart with me. These are the consequences.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gin Ichimaru or Wal Mart or Bleach or whatever. But I do own me :D
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"Okay what else do I need..." I mumbled to myself.
"I can help ya!" Gin cheered happily.
"You're NOT coming with me Gin. I've heard of your reputation in stores," I sneered.
"Oh come on those are just rumors. They're not true. I'm not that bad," Gin pouted, "Plus me and Sosuke are moving in together and I need to learn how to shop efficiantely."
"...That's the first time I've ever heard you say the word 'efficientaly before. You usually avoid long words," I stared at him in shock.
"And it's the last time too. That's jsut what Sosuke told me," Gin giggled.
I sighed deeply," Fine you can come but you better be good."
"YEA!!" Gin chuckled happily.
"Now as I was saying. What else do I need...Let's see. Eggs, milk, cheese, bread, paper towels, chips, pizza rolls, shampoo, conditioner, dog food, cereal, and get these pictures developed...I think that's it." I announced.
"Then let's go!!" Gin exclaimed.
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"Hehehe WALLY WORLD!!" Gin giggled uncontrolably.
"Oh god why did I agree to this," I groaned as I walked into the store.
Gin knew this would be the last time he would be allowed in here, so he had to make the best of it. He started with the buggy I had just grabbed and grinned wider than usual, if that was possible.
"NASCAR!" He screamed as he jumped into the buggy.
He continued to make driving and screeching sounds as I looked at him.
"You said you weren't going to act up," I whispered to him.
"Oh I am being good, just as Sosuke. I've done worse things trust me," Gin snickered, remembering his past store experiences.
I sighed and pushed the buggy that Gin had just jumped out of. I headed to the shampoo section first. Gin walked next to me, randomly snickering as people walked by. We walked into the schampoo isle and stopped as I debated on what kind of shampoo and conditioner to get. Gin walked over to the Herbal Essence shampoo and picked up a bottle.
"OH YESS...OH...YESSSSS...YESSS...YESSSSS!!!" Gin dropped down on his knees with the shampoo bottle in hand.
People looked over at him in shock. Everyone within hearing distance stopped moving and looked. I walked over to Gin and quickly grabbed the bottle out of his hand.
"Stop it now," I whispered venomisly.
Gin looked at me dumbfounded, "But I was having a very 'organic' experience."
I grabbed the closest bottles of shampoo and conditioner and walked off with Gin and the buggy in hand.
"I don't know how Sosuke deals with you," I grumbled.
"It's my good looks," Gin sighed sarcastically.
We walked in silence to the dog food section. When we got there Gin ripped away from my death grip on his arm and looked at the cat food on the opposite wall of the dog food. He grabbed a bag and walked over to the closest lady and thought of Super Troopers.
"Meow what do you thik of this cat food?" Gin asked honestly.
The girl looked at him funny but replied, "I honestly don't care for Meow Mix."
"Meow why not?" Gin questioned.
"Well my cats don't seem to like to eat it," She replied simply.
"Meow that's a good reason," He smiled and walked off.
I watched the conversation in awe. That girl had to notice he was saying meow. Oh god she had to! She was retarded if she didn't! Gin walked over to me with accomplishment written all over his face. I shook my head, grabbed some dog food, and walked off.
Next we walked over to the 1 hour photo desk and I quickly dropped off my disposable camera and left before Gin could get a word out. Gin's silence didn't last long though. We walked past a man and his little boy wearing identical suits.
"Awwww look, the daddy and baby match," Gin pointed at the pair.
Instantly the man started fixing his little boys collar and clip on tie.
"That's one ugly baby though," Gin finished quite loudly.
I slapped him upside the head and walked off.
"Gin they heard you!" I whispered angrily.
Gin giggled," Good, maybe he'll trade his kid in for a cuter one."
I couldn't help but snicker at this as we walked to the food section. I walked down the first isle and grabbed a loaf of bread. I didn't even bother checking to see the condition of the bread. I just wanted to get out of the store with this guy. We walked over to the frozen food section and I looked for some pizza rolls.
"Does it have to be this cold? I mean my dick just shrank into nothingness!" Gin squealed holding his crotch.
I stared him down before replying, "Well Gin it doesn't take much for your dick to get that small now does it?"
Gin then proceeded to pull down his pants and show me. I quickly glared daggers at him before he stopped.
We then walked down to the cereal isle and I quickly grabbed a box of Count Chocula and Cookie Crisp. Gin walked over to the Smacks.
"Don't these look like mini vaginas?" He asked loudly holding up a box of Smacks.
I snatched the box out of his hand and set it back down on the shelf. I grabbed the buggy and stormed off to the chips. Gin skipped after me smiling wildly. I grabbed a bag of Doritoes Fusion and a bag of Sour Cream and Onion Lays.
Gin skipped up to the tube of Pringles and started singing, "Once you pop...the fun don't stop. OOOOOOOOONCE ya pop...the FUUUUUUUN don't stop." He then dropped down to his knees and started 'playing' the tube like it was a guitar, ending his 'guitar solo' in "WEEEEEEEEEEEEE BANG!!!" I slapped him upside the head yet again and he stopped and handed me the Pringles tube. He got up and bowed to everyone that was staring at him saying, "Thank you. Thank you very much." in an Elvis voice.
I sighed and walked over to the paper towel section of the store. I grabbed the cheapest paper towels they had and proceeded to walk off. Gin stopped by and looked at the paper towels.
"Viva la?" He said, "These are viva la pieces of shit! Get Bounty! He's the 'quicker picker upper'. Not only that, he's the 'QUILTED quicker picker upper!'"
"No Gin. Bounty is expensive. My 'Viva la pieces of shit' work good enough for me," I stated.
"Whatever you say," He sighed and moved out of the way.
We walked to the milk section of the store and I turned to Gin and said, "Can I trust you to go over there and get me a package of yellow Kraft cheese without embarassing me or anyone else?"
"Mmmmm hmmmm," Gin nodded his head.
"Okay then. Go get me some cheese and come right back here," I said as if I were talking to a four year old.
Gin nodded and walked off. I turned around and reached into the cooler to get a half gallon of 2 milk. Then I walked over to the eggs and went to grab a dozen eggs when I heard Gin scream. I looked over to see Gin staring at the guy that stocks the cheese.
"He scared the SHIT out of me!!" He screamed at me from across the way.
"Get the cheese and get over here dammit!" I screamed back, starting to lose my temper.
Gin grabbed the cheese and slowly backed away from the stocker, then turned quickly and ran over to the buggy. I grabbed a dozen eggs and walked back to the buggy.
"Come on we're leaving before I kill you," I growled.
Gin smiled and skipped behind me the whole way to the register. I chose to go to the automatic register to avoid further embarassment. Gin stood behind me the whole time until the register said, "Please insert cash or choose a different payment type."
Gin looked at the register in shock, "Did that thing just speak?"
I nodded my head at him, payed the register and left.
Nobody spoked the whole way home. When we finally arrived Gin smiled.
"Let's do that again!" He giggled.
I looked at him blankly before slapping him upside the head one last time and said, "I hate you Gin."
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A/N: A lot of the things that Gin did in this story have actually happened to me. The NASCAR thing in the beginning happened to my sister. The ugly baby thing happened to me. The Smacks thing happened to me. Mostly from my friend Melissa...whom I DON'T take to the store with me anymore. Anyways I hope you enjoyed!! Review and let me know what you think. Or if you find any errors in there so I can change them! Thanks!