Title: My Bleeding Heart
Disclaimer: SW is owned by George Lucas; nothing is mine or done for profit.
Notes: Pure Anakin/Padmé fluff. Written for the theme 'song' over at thecirclet on livejournal. Post- Aotc, but pre-RotS.
Senator Padmé Amidala could not concentrate. She tried to with all her might, but her mind kept focusing itself on Anakin. It was natural for her thoughts to be consumed by the Jedi apprentice every chance she let her mind wander (they were still in the newlywed phase after all). This time, however, she couldn't stop the guilt from plaguing her.
She never liked fighting- with anyone- and the fact that it was her husband made her queasy with unpleasantness. Simply, it frustrated her no end.
She loved him, with every fiber of her being.
Snapping out of her reverie, she realized she was now all alone. The other delegates were nowhere to be found in the Grand Convocation Chamber. Standing up dejectedly, she left her own seat. She was almost near the exit leading out of the Senate Building when a voice called out to her.
Turning, she saw Senator Bail Organa come up behind her.
"Oh, hello, Senator Organa," she greeted him politely.
"Hello, Senator Amidala, I was wondering if, by any chance, I could talk to you?"
Padmé nodded, wondering why the usually confident senator seemed apprehensive now. "Of course, Senator, how may I be of help to you?"
"Actually, I was wondering if I could be of any service?"
At Padmé's blank stare, the Senator continued, a little hesitantly, "I hope you don't think me too forward, but you seemed to have been distracted the whole morning. I was wondering if perhaps you were feeling unwell today."
Padmé's face gave way to surprise. Was she that transparent? More than that though, she wanted to hug the man. Amidst the formalities, and each of the delegate's own do-not-invade-our-personal-life-or-space-if-you-don't-want-to-lose-a-limb mentality, she wasn't surprised that no one had approached her about her daydreaming (well, that is, up until now).
The reality of the situation was that she did need to talk to someone, but as the main point of her need to talk concerned her secret marriage to a Jedi, she didn't think it would've been wise to bring up the discussion with anyone.
"Senator Organa, I can assure you that I am in great health. However, I do deeply appreciate your concern."
Senator Organa didn't look too convinced, but he nodded all the same. "Well, if ever something does come up, and you need to talk to someone, know only that you can come to me, and I'll be willing to listen."
He turned to leave. "Wait," Padmé began, "um, there is something that I think I need a second opinion on, if you don't mind, Senator?"
If the Senator was offering to be of help, maybe she could be vague about the truth, as well as get some answers.
Padmé bit her lip, not knowing really where to begin. "Hypothetically speaking, if you were given the chance to be in actuality happy with someone, but both of your careers got in the way, would you still take that chance, or would you stop being with that person?"
Bail Organa looked thoughtful for a minute. "Well, not knowing the full circumstances of this hypothetical situation, and just going with what I feel is the right path, I'd choose to be with that person no matter what."
Senator Amidala smiled sadly. "I'm afraid it's not quite that simple. These two hypothetical people are young, they have been together for only a year, and already there are dilemmas which seem insurmountable."
"Senator, there will always be problems in the area of love. It's an emotion we can't see, but feel in the deepest depths of our bones. I'm afraid the only solution I can offer to the two lovers is, despite all of the troubles their love presents, never give up on each other. Be there for one another, and always have the best communication; sometimes the only thing we can do is extinguish the misgivings and misunderstandings, and put our faith in love."
The Senator's words, astonishingly, made Padmé's heart feel lighter. She was convinced that's all she had to do. She'd talk to Anakin, and make him see that she didn't doubt their love, but that the burden of keeping something so wonderful a secret was crushing her like a steel ball. She'd make him understand that she loved him more than she did anything else in life.
She turned her beaming face to the Senator to thank him, and fled quickly out of the hall, leaving Bail a little more than confused.
He chalked the Senator's inattentiveness all up to her eagerness to help whatever poor creature crossed her path.
"I wonder what that was all about," he said to his aid, the moment she came up to stand behind him.
The aid, having all ready entered the hall toward the beginning of her Senator's speech, replied, "I bet Senator Amidala's in love."
Bail laughed loudly. "Really? What makes you say that?"
"I can't be quite sure, but just her whole demeanor suggests she is."
"Hmm, it would make sense, I suppose, that she has had her head in the clouds because of love. But if she was in love, I don't see why she'd think it'd cause trouble. Senators are allowed to love."
"She must not be devoted to a senator then."
"Well, whomever she loves, it won't do us any good speculating. If she wanted the world to know, we would've all ready been informed."
--
Padmé rushed back to her apartment complex, after talking with Senator Organa, and hurried to prepare a romantic dinner. Her apartment was devoid of any life except for her protocol droid, C-3PO, which followed her around the kitchen, helping her.
Her beloved husband wouldn't be in until late afternoon, so she had some time to prepare something spectacular. As soon as he came home, she'd surprise him with a great dinner, and apologize.
--
The late afternoon came and went. The sun on Coruscant went down, and enveloped the urban city in a chilling darkness.
And in an apartment complex, a dinner went cold. Padmé paced around, and worried. It wasn't like Anakin to be late. Something must've happened to him. Images of her husband lying somewhere hurt, or even worse, flashed through her mind.
Not being able to take the concern anymore, she went to her personal landing platform, and got into her star skiff. She was going to the Jedi Temple to find her husband.
She knew it was dangerous, but the adrenaline coursing through her veins couldn't stop her. Even knowing it was a risky plan she was about to undertake, she raced to the shrine of the Jedi.
--
Fortunately, the landing for the senator went smoothly. Luckily, she was all alone on the landing pad, and encountered no one. But, once she got out of her skiff, she realized she didn't even know where to start looking. The Jedi Temple towered threateningly over her, discouraging her from her mission. But Padmé kept her resolve; she came all this way, she wasn't going back until she found out where Anakin was.
She was thinking about her next plan of action when she heard faint voices coming toward her. Hiding quickly behind one of the pillars in the Jedi Temple, she saw to her shock that it was Obi-Wan Kenobi, and another Jedi. They seemed to be in deep conversation, and it wasn't until they were mere inches from where Padmé stood when she heard what it was they were discussing.
"…I'm afraid my Padawan is quite hurt, and will need looking after until he properly heals. I shall stay with him until then."
"Of course, Master Kenobi, I shall inform Master Yoda of the status of your mission."
"Thank you." Obi-Wan bowed to the green Jedi, and turned, heading out toward the landing pads.
Padmé gasped. They were talking about Anakin! Not controlling her emotions, she suddenly stepped out from behind the pillar.
Obi-Wan stopped in his tracks. "Padmé?"
She was aware that maybe revealing herself wasn't the best choice she could've made, but she had to find out the truth. Obi-Wan was about to leave, and she surely would've been in the dark for who knows how long.
She stared at her friend, not really knowing what to tell him about why he was seeing her there unexpectedly.
"Are you here, by any chance, looking for Anakin?" It appeared she didn't need to explain. Dumbfounded, Padmé could only nod.
"I see."
"Where is he? He planned to meet me hours ago, but when he didn't come, I got worried about him." Padmé lied, hoping she wasn't giving anything away.
"Well, I'm afraid that one of our leads on Count Dooku's whereabouts misled us to a horrid planet upon which our intrusion was most unwelcome by the natives. We did not desire to engage in physical combat, but it looked as though it was inevitable. I escaped relatively unharmed, but Anakin got the brute of the angry natives, and sustained some injuries."
"Is he all right?" she asked hoarsely, not being able to stop the shiver that went through her.
Obi-Wan gave her a quizzical look before responding. "Yes, although his injuries are serious enough, all he needs is looking after and some rest."
Padmé was glad for this, but she couldn't help wanting to be with Anakin. Yet, Obi-Wan looked suspicious enough all ready, so she forced herself not to question his whereabouts.
"Padmé, if you'd like…I was just on my way to the hospital, you could come with me."
She nodded fervently, and followed the Jedi master out of the temple.
--
Anakin opened his eyes to find himself in his bed, in the apartment he shared with his wife. He sat up, and promptly groaned.
His chest was wrapped up in gauze, and he felt like something rammed into him. The only thing he remembered was getting hurt on his mission with Obi-Wan. As far as everything else went, however, it couldn't have been more muddled.
He lied back down, trying to catch his breath. He suddenly felt tired once again, and closed his eyes.
--
The second time Anakin woke, the room had darkened noticeably. It looked to be early twilight.
He lay still, concentrating his senses somewhere beyond the room. It was a particular sound, which had woken him up, soft and quiet, kind of like a lullaby. Had he not been trained in the Jedi arts, he would've missed it entirely.
Rising from the bed, and gathering his black robe, he ambled inaudibly out to the balcony. He still felt somewhat sore, and moving his muscles a certain way exposed his ligaments to more strain and tension, but if he moved carefully (and not everything at once), he found he could get by.
It honestly kind of made him feel guilty for not appreciating his welfare more; being unable to move however he wished, and the little sharp jabs of pain when he did budge, made him realize how much he took his body for granted.
He didn't think he'd be trashing his body like this again anytime soon.
"What's that?" he asked the lone figure he found leaning against the railings. The soft song ended hastily, and Anakin heard the little gasp of surprise from his wife.
Padmé swiftly turned around at the voice, and, once realizing that it was whom she thought it was, lunged at him.
His arms automatically enveloped his wife, not mindful of the fact that his ribs were quite bruised at the moment. "Ow, ow, ow, ow," he groaned, and winced, his whole body wanting to kneel, and never get back up. Padmé's arms around him were the only thing keeping him upright at the moment.
"Oh, oh sorry," Padmé instinctively went to shrink back from Anakin, but his iron-grip on her made sure she stayed where she was.
"I'm sorry," he blurted out, burying his face in her hair, thankful to be in her arms once again, thankful that he was alive, and that, for the moment, she seemed to want to be with him.
"What do you have to be sorry about?" she inquired, the corner of her eyes brimming with unshed tears.
"For being a jerk, mostly, and for making you feel guilty about us and our secret marriage."
Padmé let out a shaky laugh, and the tears started rolling in. She couldn't decide on whether to cry or laugh, so she settled on both. They were happy tears though because she was immeasurably blissful at that moment.
"I'm sorry too," she replied. "It's just…announcing to the world that we're married would complicate everything so much- no matter how much I want everyone to know that we're husband and wife."
"I know, I think I understand that now. It just felt as though you were ashamed of us."
Padmé, with a gentle hand, pulled his chin down, and kissed him roughly, wanting to convey all the emotions boiling around inside her for this beautiful man. His hand upon the back of her head pulled her gently closer.
They parted slightly after a moment, their need for oxygen overriding their need for each other.
The city life seemed unusually subdued. Padmé turned back to the railing, enjoying the comfort the darkness brought down onto the city like a security blanket. She smiled softly when Anakin's arms wrapped themselves around her waist; they were her anchor.
This was where they belonged: entwined in each other. She might not have been sure about anything else, but about this, she knew she absolutely was.
The end.