Hello everyone, i guess that this is one of those more common story types ; but i will try my damndest to make sure that it is as original as i can make it.

for readers of Why me! or Danger Zone, i have not given up on either of those. Why me will have an update in the next few days. i've written the chapter, i just have to read the rest oft he fic again to make sure that everything ties in because i have forgotten the storyline a little and i dont want to post a naff chapter.

hopefully you all like this.

Disclaimer : I do not own any of Harry Potter.

again, if anyone fancies being a beta for this story write a signed review expressing your interest and i will reply.

Thanks so much for deciding to read my story.

Ps. This will me an M rater story. expect sexual scenes.

I guess you could say that the day started with a bang. A big, colourful, smoky bang as one of Fred and George Weasleys' WWW prototype products burst to flame in front of my face. Yes, that was the start of my day. All purple and blue smoke, sore eyes and the screeching of the fire alarm in my apartment – I always say that it is better to be safe than sorry!

Actually, that was a lie. The prototype in a box (left by "accident") in my apartment was not the beginning of my day. The beginning, a highly more horrific start to my day occurred when boyfriend/ best friend of two years dumped my sorry behind on its behind after he revealed that I was apparently 'boring', a 'prude' and 'un-fucking-lovable'! The nerve of the man to say those things to a woman who was totally and completely and not really in love with him.

There, I admitted it. I was the girl who stayed with her partner because it was safe and I was scared of not being accepted by anyone else. I had fallen into that mundane, predictable pattern that had me spending more time working that I did with my boyfriend – considering I share an office with Draco 'the ferret' Malfoy, he achieved quite a fit by making me want to spend more time with the blond git.

And here is the best bit... I had resulted to dating Cormac Mclaggen.

Yes, it had been one of the odd, very rocky relationships and I don't really know how it had started. I know how it ended. At 21, I had still not allowed him to get his grubby little fingers anywhere near my knickers. I had a moment – ok, two years – of weakness where I had hoped and hoped that one day I would feel the pull. You know that little pull you feel when you want someone so badly that you know you would do anything for them because you want to make them happy.

That little feeling behind you navel that happens when you are so attracted to someone that you want them every moment and every second of every fucking day. My mother said it came with time. I can guarantee that it does not come with time because I was with Cormac for two years and I didn't feel even an inkling of butterflies in my stomach.

I finally agreed to date Cormac when Ron told me that we would never happen. He didn't say it in the disgustingly blunt way that Cormac spat his hatred of my whole being at me. He was kind about it and we sat down together on my sofa, as he explained that he was batting for the other side of the team.

I didn't get it at first. And he had to explain it to me in more plain term. "I'm gay, Hermione."

Ha. I finally understood what he was saying at least. "Oh," that was all I managed as I continued shuffling through my box of Celebrations – clearly it was not really the best moment to be holding a box of chocolates (needed to drown my sorrows) that tell me to be happy and celebrate this momentous occasion; but well, there you go.

And when I had finally got over drowning my sorrows, using my more fittingly named Flake bars, I managed to shout my happiness from the rooftop of my building... drunk.

Yes, that is where Cormac Mclaggen found me. On my bloody roof, screaming ... and this is word for every, embarrassing word... 'Oh yes, RONALD! You bastard, you! Gay! Oh right, you are Gay. Was this a new development, or was Lavender Brown a MAN? Hmnn? DIDN'T FUCKING THINK SO!' It pretty much continued on from there.

And Cormac took me home, never the gentleman, handed me another bottle of wine and, after I was completely mullered, proceeded to try and shove his hand down my trousers. Even in my completely inebriated state, I told him to shove off and then I thought it was a bright idea to enter into a monogamous, two year, relationship with him.

Clearly I was off my rocker.

Now, firmly back in place on my rocker, with the smoke clearing and giving me the incentive to get up, I make my way to the floo. "Ron?" I call into the fireplace. Eventually, after I got over the development of his sexuality – and apologised for calling Lavender a man... loudly... using a sonorous charm – I realised that this couldn't have turned out better because we really were not compatible. "He dumped me."

"Oh no." He looks at me from his bed; he really should open the floo in his living room more often. Ronald Weasley, still supporting his normal red locks, brushes the sleep from his eyes and lifts his arm to invite me into his bed. I hop through the floo and snuggle under the covers he holds open for me. "Wake up, Theo." Ron pushes the man beside him with his elbow as I snuggle into the space between the two men, curling up between the red sheets.

An even more startling development of the past two years than Ron being gay and the loss of all my mental functions was that Theodore Nott – Pureblood extraordinaire, best friend of Draco Malfoy and notorious Slytherin playboy – was also gay... and the two men had apparently been seeing each other in secret since our Hogwarts days. "Theo," I murmur quietly before pressing my cold toes to his bare thighs, "You two better be wearing underwear." I mutter as I realise exactly where I am.

"Shut up, Hermione." Theo grabs my ankle and pulls me over to his side of the bed, snuggling his head into my curls and falling back to sleep if the snore is anything to do with it.

I glare, reach my hand around to pinch his – thankfully boxer clad – bum and he groans again. "He dumped me..." I tell Theo when he opens his eyes and fixes me with a hard scowl, "He said I was a prude and... and..."

"Oh, baby girl," Theo and Ron move closer as Theo speaks gently, finally fully awake.

"Draco calls me that," I tell him, smiling at the thought of my business partner. We had hated each other for seven years until we were thrust into working in the same office until finally we decided to set up our own business three months ago when I had first started hanging out at the office more.

Eventually, Malfoy and I had gotten past old rivalries – with a lot of grovelling and apologies oh his side; who says you can't have a little fun at his expense – and we had become friends. It was easier than expected anyway because with the introduction of Theo – the first snake – into our group, the rest had decided that we were a good place to nest and they had all slithered into our group. Understandably, Harry and I were wary at first, who wouldn't have been, but they finally proved themselves and we ended up getting along marvellously – except Malfoy and I who needed a little longer for the ice to crack. "We all do." He reminds me - all being the rest of the snakes; Marcus Flint, Blaise Zabini and Adrian Pucey. "But that's not the point,Mclaggen was a bastard anyway."

Ron stays quiet; the introduction of feelings into the conversation is solely Theo territory. Ron never progressed past the stage when he had the emotional range of a teaspoon and, so, I seek comfort in the arms of my once upon a time enemy.

"Where the fuck is everyone?" I close my eyes. Great, here comes the cavalry. Malfoy has arrived, and with him I assume he has bought his snide tongue and his sparkling wit that I could really do without today. "Please Merlin let them be dressed," I can't help the giggle that escapes my mouth when I hear Draco muttering to himself on the other side of the door.

"Draco," I say, leading to a quick opening of the door and a shocked looking Malfoy on the other side of the open doorway. "Hi."

"Hey, Baby Girl." He walks in, taking hold of my hand and pulling me out of Theo's warm embrace and the comfort of the fluffy covers. Draco would never get into the bed with us, unlike Harry or Adrian who would cuddle up till the cows came home, and neither would Blaise. They are both very reserved people who hated physical contact which didn't consist of hot, naked girls and several rounds of copulating. They didn't do hugs. Well, I don't really care too much when I fling myself at him and I feel him stiffen beneath my hold. "He broke up with you didn't he."

His hands still haven't moved from his sides and his discomfort is obvious to all of us, "Yes,"

"I told you he wasn't worth it, Baby Girl." Finally his arms snake around me, locking behind my back and pressing me into his chest. I guess I am the total opposite of Draco and Blaise. Hugging here, like this, in the open and fully clothed is much more in my comfort zone then snuggling under the covers at night. I would hate lying in the same bed as Cormac, he would try and pull me into his body and push his hands down my trousers even though I continued to say no.

"I know." I tell him, releasing him from my hold and letting my hands fall limply to my sides. Theo, who has no problem with intimacy, glares at Draco and pulls me into my side as he leads the way into the kitchen. "I just feel so stupid for waiting two years; I knew he wasn't the one from the first time he tried to touch me and I told him to stop, but I have some sort of self depreciating need to suffer through the wrong guys." I hang my head, as Draco hands me a cup of steaming black coffee. No sugar or milk, just the way that I like it. "Thank you. Just look at my stupid history with guys!"

Suddenly there are several other pops, Harry Potter – yes, the Chosen One or the 'One-Who-Would-Not-Die' as Draco likes to call him – Adrian Pucey, Blaise Zabini and Marcus Flint storm into the room. "Your boyfriend was just making out with some girl in the middle of Diagon Alley!" Marcus yells, flicking his eyes to me before turning to Harry and Adrian to back up his story.

"As I was saying, I always have made the worst choice in guys... Ron – no offence, but you were gay." He shrugs, shaking his head and flipping it off with a wave of his hand, "Viktor Krum!" we all groan at that one. Soon after the defeat of Voldermort, Viktor Krum had done an exclusive with Rita Skeeter claiming to have been my first in every aspect of our relationship. I had people calling me a slut for weeks because they thought I lost my virginity to an International Quidditch star in my fourth year at Hogwarts. "Cormac." I continue the list, "And my long time crush on Adrian!" I point my hand at the good looking man on the other side of the table, raising my eyebrows into a 'what was I thinking' expression and watching every other member of the table burst into laughter.

"What is wrong with me?" Adrian looks offended, "I am a catch."

"Yes, for half the women in England." I reply, laughing at the smirk on his face. His blue eyes shine in the morning light and he runs a hand through his cropped, spiky, dark brown hair before flashing me a devilish smile and winking sexily.

His body could turn event he biggest icicle into a puddle of water at his feet and I find myself salivating as he uses the hand not holding his coffee to pull up the corner of his t-shirt. I have to admit that my favourite part of a man's body is the sexy little 'v' that you find between their hip bones and Adrian has just that. Come to think of it, Draco and Marcus probably do to, what with all the Quidditch they play to keep fit and the private gym that Malfoy set up in the top of our office building. "I could...educate... you if you so desire, Baby Girl."

"Shut up!" I laugh throwing a jumper from the back of my chair at his face and watching him duck easily to miss it before going to pick it up off of the floor. "None of you are going to understand; maybe I should just go find Ginny."

"No tell us," Marcus reaches out a hand, clasping my fingers in his own larger ones and looking down at me with his big brown eyes. He used to be big and scary, that was Marcus. He didn't really say much and his eyes did all the talking – usually saying things like 'Fuck off, Bastard.' – but when he finally softened up, after the war was all over and done and his Dad had finally be locked in Azkaban, it really became clear that he was one of the sweetest blokes that I have ever met. He is still big and scary. But in a good way.

"I want someone who loves me," I tell them, picking at some of the chipped wood, "I think I deserve to find someone special. I don't just want to give myself away to any Tom, Dick or Harry."

I don't dare to look at any of them, it's hard to talk about my love life with a bunch of players who fuck anything with legs, a couple and a man in a committed relationship with Ginny Weasley. "I wouldn't want to give myself to Harry either, Baby Girl, we all understand you there!" I roll my eyes at Draco and he flashes me a smirk, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

Shaking my head I continue, "It doesn't have to last forever, I don't want an instant love story, I just want someone who will set me on fire... just for one night... who will make me forget everything and who will make me believe that all is right with the world." I smile down at my hands before looking up at the faces of my friends, "So which one of you are going to do it?" I ask, "It can't be Ron or Theo because they are gay and Harry is in a relationship, so it will have to be one of you four." I say, pointing to Blaise, Marcus and Draco.

It is hilarious, watching all of their spit their drinks into the middle of the table, "I'm joking, geez!" I laugh, turning to the sink as I wash up my cup and begin to start of the pancakes. "One day..." I tell them, "One day I will meet my prince charming."

Draco sighs, walking up to me and pressing a kiss to the back of my neck as he swipes a finger through the runny pancake batter, "Maybe you already know him," He whispers, kissing me again and then moving to take his seat between Theo and Harry around the large oak table.

After breakfast, we meet up with the rest of the girls and join for our weekly Sunday drinks and lunch. I know it seems like all we do is eat – and I guess that is pretty much what we do – but we work and exercise and other things. Ginny Weasley meets us at the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron and she motions us to the table that they had chosen.

In the years after the war, all the shops in Magical London seemed to go through a major revamp and the Leaky Cauldron was no longer a dingy littler entrance to the Magical Community. It was our weekly hang out and, trust me when I say that, if it wasn't up to Draco Malfoy's high standards we would not be eating there.

Draco orders for us all and then we make our way to the table in the back. Luna, looking as dazed as ever, mumbles to Pansy Parkinson about something or other – probably a mystical, imaginary being – and we watch as Pansy nods along; genuinely interested.

It had been odd the first time that Pansy had been invited to lunch with us, sure we had accepted all the other vipers into our den, but there was something different about joining forces with Pansy! Maybe it was because she was a girl and it was solely up to Ginny, Luna and I whether or not we accepted her, because for some reason that is how it always goes when it comes to girls.

But as soon as she complemented Ginny's handbag and my shoes, we were all set to go and we had started on the long road to friendship. Luna was much easier to convince. Ask about Wrakspurts or something and she is like putty in your hands. "Hey, 'Mione." Pansy says and I can tell by the soft tone of her voice and the look in her eyes that she knows.

I look to Harry, who at least has the decency to hang his head a little for spilling my secret to his girlfriend who then spread it around the girls, but I don't really have it in me to mind that much considering that they would have found out anyway.

Smiling, I reply to her welcome and then node at the two other girls. "Who gives a shit about that tosser anyway," Ginny says, grabbing onto my arm and pulling me around to look at her, "We have already decided what to do to make this day better."

"If you are suggesting pinning his face to a dart board and taking shots at it, then thanks but no thanks," I laugh, letting her lace her fingers with mine and watching her look to the heavens for help.

"Who do you think I am? No, we are going to throw all of your worries away in one go, we are going shopping... courtesy of Malfoy." Ginny smirks, holding up a black Credit card with 'Draco A. Malfoy' printed along the bottom.

Malfoy growls, patting his pockets for his wallet and checking for his card before coming up short. "Where did you get that?"

"From you, Duh!" Ginny smiles, "I was joking, but you should really be more careful with your stuff." She reprimands him, handing the card back over and watching Malfoy thrust his wallet back into his jeans.

I pout, "I was really looking forward to working my way through Malfoy's family vault!" Draco grabs onto my thigh and presses tightly.

"You wouldn't even be able to make a dent, Baby Girl." He tells me, holding onto my leg and looking straight into my eyes with his icy, grey ones.

The rest of the lunch continues with happy conversation, all of us discussing what we would buy if we had Draco's money in our pockets. "See, this is why all of you are poor," That comment from Malfoy sure got a lot of response, "You can't handle the riches." The remainder of the time was a show of male posturing as they all decided to shout their wealth out to the whole world, "Come on, Granger." Malfoy reaches for my hand after paying the bill. "I want a walk."

"So, Baby Girl." I nod, looking to him as we walk together down the snowy streets of Muggle London. We had really come a long way in the years after the war. "How are you really?"

"Well, considering that I knew it was coming, I guess I am pretty low. I didn't think that having someone you don't care about say mean things to you, still hurts." I smile, licking my way along the base of scone, catching some of the falling whipped cream and moaning gently at the flavour. Malfoy watches me, holding onto his own scone and flushing slightly in the cold weather, "What?" I ask as his staring becomes a little unnerving after a while.

"I have to get married." He suddenly blurts before slapping his hands over his mouth.

I turn to look at him, forcing him to stop. "What?" I say, holding onto his arm and meeting his eyes head on.

"Yes, you heard me." He whispers, "If I want to stay rich, I have to marry by my twenty second birthday." Suddenly, I notice the hopeless expression in his eyes.

"So why have you spent all this time sleeping around with sluts who couldn't give a shit about anything other than the tickets to Hawaii that you promised them?" I ask, keeping my voice low as people try to listen in, assuming that it is some sort of lovers spat or something.

"I don't know, Granger!" He tells me, "Why do you always date the wrong men?" I sigh, slumping my shoulders and realising that he is right, we are both fucking hopeless when it comes to feelings and love and emotions.

"Maybe we should just get married, at least I can trust you to be kind and discreet..." I trail off, looking to a fallen paper that would have appeared blank if a Muggle looked at it. "Instead of selling my story to a paper for money..."

Granger and Mclaggen; A relationship on the Rocks

According to Cormac Mclaggen, currently a Quidditch Player for the England National Team during the World Championships this year, this year's most unlikely couple have decided to call it a day on their relationship.

When seen out together, the duo had never seemed very intimate or together and now Cormac reveals why. "She didn't want me that way."

Who could deny someone with a body like this – pictures below – and when the man clearly loved her, as well.

After two years it is no doubt that Cormac got bored, "She wouldn't even let me stay over, she keeps a tighter lock on her knickers than anyone I've ever known. She wouldn't have been worth the wait anyway."

So there you have it folks, maybe Viktor Krum really was lying all those years ago. Maybe the Virgin Granger really is just that. I guess we will have to wait for another boy to turn up neglected before we can really make up our minds; who knows we might just find the man who popped the know-it-all's cherry yet...

Writer – Parvati Patil

"That cow," Pretty much sums up how I am feeling right now, "Parvati was supposed to be my friend! How can they publish this stuff anyway?" I groan, flipping through the paper and sighing to myself, "There goes my chance of finding Prince Charming, everyone will now just be vying for a chance at getting into my knickers so they can have a story to sell."

"Then why don't we get married?" whatever I was expecting, that was not it.

I smile, "Is that a proposal, Mr. Malfoy?" I ask, holding my hair over my shoulder and trying not to let the angry tears, at the article, escape. "Because you can do better than that!"

"Come on, Baby Girl." Malfoy says, reaching around to hold me gently, which was unusual in itself because he never normally does the touchy, touchy thing. "I know you wouldn't ever want me just for my money, we already own a business together, I would never tell anyone about what may or may not go on under the sheets and I love you."

This time I openly laugh, "Like a friend or an annoying little dog, you don't love me in a wife kind of way." I tell him, pulling out of his embrace and looking to my feet, "I think you should try and find someone who really loves you with everything they have."

Shaking his head, he takes hold of my hand again, "Think of all the Malfoy Books, Princess." He smiles, "You could read them any time you wanted to."

"That is your bribe? Books?" I ask, incredulously.

His smirks lightly, pulling on one of the curls that hand around my head, "Did it work?"

I think of all the blond haired goddesses that he has pursued in the past, there is no way that I could ever compare to them. Standing at a little over five foot five, I barely make it to his shoulder blade, my hair is still the bushy mess it was when I left Hogwarts – with only a little more curl than frizz now, but it is still pretty undesirable – and I hardly have a figure to die for. I'm not a Barbie Doll in disguise by any means. I'm not his ideal girl.

"No. You could do some much better than me, Malfoy." Walk around him, I trudge through the snow under my feet and leave him to follow at him own pace; "You need love, just like everyone else."

"We could grow to love each other."

"That never works."

"Just think about it." He says, taking hold on the lapels of my jacket and bringing his face closer to mine, he presses a soft kiss to my lips and before I can do anything to respond, he pulls away. "Please." And with that he leaves me standing alone in the middle of Oxford Street really considering that this may be my only option to find a decent guy.

So, what did you think? please review, reviews bring chapters :) Constructive criticism is always welcome. i aim to get the chapters up every three days and hopefully they will all be about this length. if i havent posted in three days feel free to yell.