Warning: suicide atempt warning

Authors note: Heh, I'm sure this story has been done a bazillion times but I just felt like writting it. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal or else I'd have all the dvds and the movie xD

Roy's eyes starred past the blond haired boy. They seemed distant and filled with fear… Ed blinked a few times.

"Roy?"

The flame coming from the candle reflected in the mans eyes. He quickly looked away.

"…Are you alright Ed?" His voice was soft and somehow kind sounding.

Ed nodded slowly ignoring the stinging in his body. "…Thank you." He said turning his head to the side. He started to pull the covers off but stopped… something told him he shouldn't go just yet. His eyes drifted back to Roy. "…you know… for …"

Roy stood up. "I can't have one of my men getting hurt…"

A few hours ago…

"Brother?" Al came back into the room to find it empty. "…Ed?" he looked around the entire hotel room… Ever since they had gotten back from their last mission Ed had been acting more depressed. Al tried to reason with him, saying that it wasn't his fault that he couldn't save every last person.

There was a knock on the door. Al rushed over, hoping to see Ed on the other side but it was only Riza Hawkeye. "Oh, hello." Al said.

Riza walked in, dripping wet. "Hello Alphonse… Is Edward here? I have some things he forgot to sign from your last mission." She pulled a few papers from the inside of her coat.

"I'm sorry… I don't know where he's gotten off to…"

The sound of the thick boots Ed wore beat against the puddles. His tears mixed in with the rain. He let out small sobs with his heavy breath. How come he couldn't see it before?...

All he ever did was bring pain…

It was his fault … everything … If he hadn't been so confident in himself… Alphonse would still have a body … and so many people would be happier…

Roy Mustang looked up at the clouded sky from his office window. He looked down at his paper work then around the room. Everyone else had gone home already. He pulled a picture out from the bottom of a drawer. It was of Hughes and him back when they first met. His hand shook as he held the photo. His head turned, looking back out the window.

A few minutes later he was outside in the rain. Every day put a deeper fire in his heart… he had sworn that he wouldn't rest until he found Hughes's killer, even if it killed him. He looked up at the sky again, letting the rain fall onto his warm face. Water put fire out right? …

A red figure ran past him. Roy's eyes followed the figure. "Ed?" He blinked. "Ed!" He called out. The boy glanced back at him but kept running. Mustang took off after him.

"Edward!" He caught up with the boy rather quickly considering Ed seemed to be getting out of breath. Roy grabbed his arm, forcing him to whip around quickly.

"Let go!" He yelled trying to pull his arm free, but Roy wouldn't.

"Ed, let me help you…" Roy said staying calm. Ed shook his head as he started to hit Roy in the chest with his human hand and continued to try and pull his auto mail free.

"NO! I don't want anyone to help me anymore. Every time they do, they end up hurt! If it wasn't for me-."

"If it wasn't for you, a lot of crooked military persons would still be hurting people." Roy cut him off. Ed's eyes opened, looking up at Mustang, who tried to smile. As much as he hated to admit, Ed was a relief in Roy's life… he always seemed to be helping people… more then what Roy could say for himself. Compared to Ed's life quest … Roy seemed selfish.

Ed starred at Roy, for a second he thought he saw his mother and Al… He quickly cut the sight from his mind. "But people still got hurt…"

Roy closed his eyes… flashes of the war came rushing to his mind. He opened his eyes quickly, but they didn't go away…

He let out a shaky breath. Ed ripped his arm away and broke into a run again.

"ED!" Roy followed him again. Ed ran through the empty streets, he slipped, causing his face to collide with the pavement. He scrambled to his feet.

Ed ran to the bridge that crossed the over flowing river. The water flowed rapidly. Ed climbed onto the railing.

"I'm sorry Al…" He let go of the railing and fell…

The sound of rushing water was all that could be heard… The rain washed some the blood off his cheek and onto Roy's coat. His blond hair stuck to his own face along with Mustangs. The warmth made his body tingle…

He hadn't realized how cold he really was…

"I'm not loosing someone close to me again…"

Ed looked up at Roy. At the very last second Roy had grabbed him and pulled him back over the railing. Roy held Ed tightly and close against him.

"…but why?"

"Our pasts and our mistakes are killing us Ed…"

Roy stood up, pulling Ed to his feet with him, but Ed lost balance. Mustang held him up for a moment. "I'll die before I let you kill yourself because of it."

Ed starred up at his friend feeling lightheaded… maybe running out in the rain on a cold day like this … wasn't the best idea… but deep inside did he really think he was going to do it? … He fell against Roy's chest.

This brings the story back to the present…

Ed looked down. "…right…"

Roy picked up a cup of coffee from the desk that was near the chair is had been sitting it. "Why were you going to jump?"

Ed jumped a little at the question. He hadn't seen it coming and yet he did, it was only right to be asked after the way he had acted… it was just … he hadn't expected it to come so soon.

"I don't know… I guess it was because I couldn't sleep…"

…sleep… There hadn't been a single night Roy could sleep peacefully through. "…That's no reason to die over."

Ed looked down at his hands. "It is if you have the nightmares I have."

Roy set the cup down without even putting it to his lips. "There's a lot you don't know about me Edward, and I might try to hide it a lot but I have problems of my own. They keep me up as well. I think about the past all the time… thinking of what I could have done to make things turn out alright… but as much as I think about it… I can't change it." He turned his head to look at Ed from the corner of his eyes.

"And neither can you."

Ed clentched his hands into fists. "But I have to try… to fix the things that have gone wrong in the past… I have to."

Roy let out a small sigh. "Giving your brother his body back is fine… but there are things that are better off left alone. Ed, not everything is in your grasp. Those things will haunt you deeply until you make mends with yourself. It's alright to grieve over things for a while but then you have to get back on your feet."

Ed pushed some of his still soaked hair out of his face. "…Why aren't you following your own advice sir?"

Roy looked around the room in front of him as if trying to find a ghost that didn't exist. "…I'm having trouble getting back on my feet… but I'll stand up someday…" He turned off the dim light that had been on. "Get some rest Ed."

The next morning…

"Brother!" Alphonse yelled. Ed smiled and waved.

"Hey Al!"

"Where were you?" Alphonse started to question him, "What happened to your cheek? What were you thinking running off like that?"

Ed laughed a little and put his hands behind his head. "I just had to talk with someone… Sorry Alphonse, I lost track of time."

Alphonse stood there confused for a moment… the last time he had seen his brother, he had been down and depressed but here he was with a smile on his face and being the irritating brother like he was by nature.

"Come on Al, you're falling behind. I don't want to talk to Mustang either, he'll probably just want to brag about how well he's doing in sucking up to the higher ups then send us off somewhere for a week." Ed said looking over his shoulder. Alphonse quickly ran back to his brothers side.

"I can see it now 'Listen to my life story short stuff, I'm so great aren't I?" Ed started.

"You're not even close to mimicking me Edward."

Ed froze and turned around. "Mustang?"

Roy raised an eyebrow. "You were trying to personate me right, it was terrible."

He laughed and walked past Ed, patting him on the shoulder as he did. "I'll see you in my office."

Edward turned around again. "You aren't going to?"

"What was said last night is classified information Ed, don't say a word about it here in the streets." Roy said stuffing his hands into his pockets and continuing to walk away.

Ed stared at Roy's back for a few minutes.

"Ed?" Alphonse looked at him.

Ed looked down at the ground, his eyes in a gaze. What had happened last night... He had never felt so close to Mustang before. They both had hard pasts... but like Roy had said, not everything was in their grasp just yet. There were many things they had to do before even comming close to having everything...

"Brother?"

Ed looked up at him. "Come on, we'll be late if we don't hurry and then Roy will have a reason to complain more then normal." He said with a smile. He couldn't believe he had acturally thought of Mustang as a friend for once, someone equal to him.

"You're late Edward." Roy said sitting at his desk. "I should give you some punishment for this, after all I did just see you and you still came late. What should I do with you?"

That basterd! Eds eye twitched. Equal to him, but to damn cocky.