28th of March 2014
(An Eventful Evening)
The evening seemed to have gone the same as any other. I picked this chick up in McLaren's (3rd of the week so far, not my best, but always nice to hit your average). As you should expect by now the night progressed as expected (yes I nailed her) and we had got to that uneasy part of the evening. I had just waited for her... I forget her name, Anna I think... to fall asleep so I could slip out quietly (have decided recently that staying till the next morning seems to promote more 'clingy' behaviour in the other half of the species). Anyway I had traversed the 'slip and roll' technique I explained the other week without waking her and had successfully negotiated a rather cluttered bedroom to gather my suit and escape to the sitting room of her flat.
That's when it happened. I had just finished straightening the cuffs on my shirt (Prada of course) and headed towards the door to make my escape when there was a knock. It took me so by surprise that I caught a lamp off a side table and knocked it onto the floor (I told you it was cluttered). Anyway I thought I was lucky, it hadn't woken Alice (or whatever her name was), however the person on the other side of the door obviously did, not so lucky. Whoever it was called out and started unlocking the door. Boyfriend? Husband?
Either way I was caught in the middle of the room. The figure opened the door letting in a shaft of light which fortunately didn't hit me, but he knew someone was there. He called out again, this time more menacingly. I decided it was better to keep my mouth shut to keep my options open (you know, late night electrician excuse and the like). It was at this point that Alex (something like that anyway) woke and called from the bed room for me to come back and give her another seeing to (some women just can't get enough). For some reason this seemed to enrage the figure in the door way. He came at me viciously.
Of course I could have had him, but I thought it would be fairer to the guy that I should leave, so while he was trying his best to negotiate the sofa between us, I slipped out the door and into the night with the guy yelling no end of profanities after me, some people are so rude (incidentally those apartments opposite Central Park may look nice in the day, but look very dodgy after midnight).
For some reason Ted wasn't as encouraging as I am sure you lot will be when I told him.
Oh Well
Barney