"OW!"

She let the gold slip out of her mouth and sat back.

"What?"

"You'll pull the skin - it's very delicate there..."

"Really? On elves there's virtually no sensation in the lobe, it's all in the tip..."

"What if you pull it with your teeth?"

"Ok, well that would hurt. But not so much that I'd squeal like a baby."

Anders sat back a little, rubbing his ear and looking at her with a hurt expression on his face. "I did not squeal like a baby."

"OW!" she mocked him. He pursed his lips. "However did you manage to get it pierced if it hurts you that much when I suck on it?"

"You call that a suck? You were practically eating it."

"It was a suck. Not to mention a gentle, erotic suck."

"You have a funny idea of what's erotic."

"Oh, and you don't, Mr ice spell in the..."

"You said you liked that..."

"Well, true, but..."

"Look, I just don't like it when people mess with my earring, all right? It's... call it a sentimental thing."

"Sentimental?"

He huffed a bit. "It was a gift."

"The earring? I know. From Commander Cousland."

"No. Not the earring. The piercing itself. It was a gift. From someone who helped me. Or who was willing to help me, any way, until..."

Her face hardened. "Who was she?"

"Oh, nothing like that..."

"Come on, Anders. You never get that expression unless you're talking about some former conquest..."

"Just how many women do you think I've had?"

"More than..."

"Honestly, Neria, if I'd slept with that many women I wouldn't have had time to get further than the Spoiled Princess on any of my escape attempts."

Her face didn't soften. He gave a deep sigh and turned to face her on the bed. "I was in Denerim. The escape attempt before the last..."

Trousers chafed. He wouldn't mind, except that every time he gave into temptation and adjusted himself he was certain every female within eyeshot smirked at him. No matter how many times he escaped he never got used to the feeling of cloth on his thighs and he longed for the freedom of robes again. Of course, wearing mage robes in Denerim would just be seven types of stupid so he was surruptitiously trying to adjust himself under the table in the Gnawed Noble when she approached.

"I heard you were looking for passage on a ship," an incredibly sultry voice said. He swallowed nervously, looking up to see a woman in leather armour that almost certainly wouldn't protect against any sort of concerted attack. Mind you, if someone was close enough to attack this woman they'd probably be too distracted by other things to actually follow through with violence.

"Yes," he said, trying to sound normal. "To Orlais."

"Well," she said. "We can get you to Orlais," she slid onto the bench across from him. "Although I'd recommend the Free Marches instead. Orlesians are a little more.. diligent when it comes to hunting apostates, you understand."

"Apostates?" he cocked his head on one side and gave her his most charming grin.

She looked down at his hands, one eyebrow raised. "It's the trousers, I'm afraid," she said. "They always give you people away."

"Ah."

"I have a few idiosyncrasies," she continued. "I will let no one travel aboard my ship until I'm certain of their character."

"I have to prove I'm a good person?" he said.

She laughed. "Not at all. But you do have to prove I can trust you. I have my own methods of getting to know people. In your case..." she looked him up and down. "A game of cards, I think."

"Cards?"

"If you win, I grant you passage for free. If I win - I'll claim my own reward."

"I only have enough money for passage..."

The grin that spread across her face was nothing short of predatory. "Oh, it won't be money."

Anders' mind immediately went into overdrive and his trousers were suddenly uncomfortable for an entirely different reason.

Two hours later she was heating a needle over an open flame. Anders was eyeing her warily. "So why is this a reward for you precisely?" he asked.

"Call it a way of recognising a... kindred spirit," she said. "And it will make you less conspicuous among us."

"Will it hurt?"

She grinned at him. "Yes."

"And you got caught going up the gangplank to her ship?" she said. "You didn't think that maybe she was the one who gave you away?"

He shook his head. "We got to know each other pretty well during that game."

"You know I'll be able to tell if you've slept with her when we get on the ship," she said. "There's this look your women have..."

"I never slept with her. Didn't have time for one thing. Also, I get the feeling she would have eaten me alive if I'd tried."

"Instead she poked a hole in you."

"That sounded incredibly dirty."

She grabbed his head and attacked his earring with her lips again, making him groan. "It was meant to."