Summary: Creating Horcruxes wasn't the only measure Voldemort took in order to escape death. After making that horrible discovery Harry Potter has to decide whether or not he will allow that monster to be reborn...as his son.
A/N: My first story for the Harry Potter fandom. I am always looking forward to improve and I would be also more than happy to correct any grammatical or spelling errors you might spot as English is not my native language. With this said I hope you will read and enjoy this chapter and perhaps leave a review ^^
Something regarding the story, Harry Potter is, in the beginning of the story, 23 years old, meaning that the war has ended five years ago and that the current year is 2003 so most likely before the birth of Ginny's and Harry's first actual child, James.
12/28/12 Beta'd by skrewtkeeper.
Disclaimer: JK Rowling is the one owning Harry Potter. I simply take the characters and throw them in a mess aka my story.
Reincarnation of Darkness – Chapter I
Harry Potter couldn't believe what Dumbledore was trying to say. If it weren't for the fact that Dumbledore was already dead and he was currently talking to his portrait he might have already tried to throttle the old man.
It had been years after the war had ended; Voldemort was finally gone and Ginny was now pregnant with their very first child. All was well until the Ministry and Dumbledore crushed Harry's peaceful life into pieces. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to, but the very serious expression and the absence of the twinkles in Dumbledore's eyes already told him that this was indeed not a very bad joke.
After that realization dawned on him, he tried to convince himself that it was just a nightmare. Everything was better than what Dumbledore had just told him. You can't run away from the truth. It won't make things better; just accept the fact that the world hates you with a passion, a very nasty voice inside of his mind told him. He tried to ignore it although he knew it was the truth.
The truth.
The truth that Voldemort had not only made Horcruxes in order to become immortal, but also with the usage of Phoenix blood and a gruesome ritual, (Dumbledore kindly decided to spare him with the details), managed to succeed in being reborn. If that wasn't already bad enough, instead of being reborn as the child of any random person, he would be reborn as, (who else would it be), Harry's son, his and Ginny's first child, the child they were awaiting in less than a week. He had long given up questioning why it had to be him of all people but that didn't make things better.
About one week ago some people who were working for the Ministry had found some rather interesting scripts; papers and books about reincarnation in one of the many hideouts of Lord Voldemort. Although already five years had passed after Voldemort's death, many of his possessions, (especially the dangerous ones), could not be found and confiscated and if necessary, destroyed. Hence Harry or anyone else for that matter didn't find out until it was too late.
Dumbledore, after hearing about it and reading some of the scripts, had immediately put two and two together. Judging by the information written in them, Voldemort had performed the ritual of reincarnation after discovering that Harry and his friends were after his Horcruxes. It was merely for safety than anything else, (or paranoia as some might call it). Thinking of anyone else as being inferior to him, Lord Voldemort had never expected it to actually be used.
Lord Voldemort was in the process of being reborn as Harry's son. The reason why it was Harry and not another person was, according to Dumbledore, not the fact that fate loved to mess up his life but since Voldemort had used Harry's blood to resurrect himself in Harry's fourth year and during the reincarnation ritual, the blood of the one performing it was needed and then mixed with Phoenix blood, it was only logical that the possibility of Voldemort being resurrected as Harry's son was much higher than being reborn as the son of any other person. Blood and bloodlines seemed to play a very important role in the ritual and in who exactly would carry the reborn Dark Lord in her womb.
Being reborn as one of his relatives' children was the most likely of outcomes, possibility but since all of Voldemort's relatives were long dead, the subsequent possibility would be being reborn as Harry's child. But because Harry was responsible for Voldemort's death, it was logical Voldemort had performed the ceremony as a precaution—not as a prudential means of salvation.
If fate was so cruel to say salvation meant being stuck as an archenemy's son. Voldemort was probably not more amused by that fact than Harry. Knowing that didn't quite make him happier yet he did feel a grim satisfaction at Voldemort's own misery.
"So what am I supposed to do?" Harry asked, being unable to hide his desperation. Even if it was the Dark Lord he was still his...son. Those words sounded foreign on his tongue, but it was the truth nevertheless. He didn't know if he could kill his own son or simply just let other people do his dirty work; both seemed very wrong in his eyes.
Another thing hit him, leaving him even more miserable than before. He had entirely forgotten about Ginny who would give birth to the Dark Lord, a monster. Harry shivered.
Ginny didn't know anything about hi- no their situation. He recalled how happy she was when she discovered that she would become a mother, how happy he also was for the both of them; he could still feel the tears of happiness running down his cheeks as if it was only yesterday. It had been nine months but for Harry it felt like an eternity.
"Harry," a soft voice interrupted his bittersweet memories. Harry looked up, meeting the blue eyes of Dumbledore who was watching him sadly. "I know this must be a very hard decision for you to make and I certainly don't expect you to decide immediately but (you must, as much as I hate to say it), consider the consequences your actions might cause…regardless of whether they will be good or bad."
Why does this sound so familiar, Harry wondered half bitterly and half sarcastically. He shook his head; it was not the time to indulge in his self-pity. "I know that killing him would be the best for all of us but I—" Harry trailed off, not entirely sure how to end the sentence.
Dumbledore nodded understandingly. "But you can't because he is your son no matter who he is or was. And I can believe that Mrs. Potter will also, despite the unfortunate encounter she had with Tom, agree with you to not kill your child. A mother's love is very strong; often ignoring any rational reason, which makes it both powerful and painful…very painful..."
Harry didn't listen further when Dumbledore mentioned the incident with Ginny in his second year at Hogwarts, making him wonder even more if he should do it in order to save Ginny any more pain in the future. Pain would undoubtedly come with the birth of Tom, but killing their child would also put her in terrible grief no matter how strong, determined and fierce she usually was.
"I have to think over it again..." Harry muttered, looking at his shoes. A long silence followed after this. Harry was the one to break it.
"Professor," Harry said, and looked up to the former headmaster who seemed to have observed Harry the entire time. "I am wondering what your own opinion is. I know," Harry said before Dumbledore could interrupt him, "that it's our decision as a couple and we are the ones responsible to judge correctly. But I still think that hearing your view would make the decision...easier."
Dumbledore gave him a look which Harry could not exactly identify before he said: "My own opinion is," the twinkles in his eyes had finally returned, "that Tom should not be killed. Not only because everyone deserves a second chance," he paused, giving Harry enough time to wonder why Dumbledore insisted on only seeing the good in people even when it clearly didn't exist, "but also for all the undoubtedly terrible deeds he has done, he still remains a great wizard who could have done a lot of great and good things. Such talent and ability should not be wasted unnecessarily."
Harry couldn't believe his ears. Was Dumbledore trying to say that he was supposed to redeem Lord Voldemort of all people to make him do good things? Maybe people were right by telling that Dumbledore might have gone insane because no person in his right mind would think of that as a good plan, if you could even call that one.
Dumbledore, who either did not notice or simply decided to ignore the outraged looks Harry gave him, continued: "Doing so is relatively easy. No one except the ones responsible for finding the information regarding Voldemort's rebirth and you and me know about this. Without people knowing about his true identity he could easily lead his life without any complications since only a very small amount of individuals know about his appearance or even his birth name before he became Lord Voldemort."
"And if I do it right I could convince the Ministry to believe that such a ritual is not possible and only one of the many insane ideas of Lord Voldemort. I doubt it will be very difficult since the Ministry was always willingly to close its eyes from the truth." He smiled sadly at Harry.
Harry frowned. He would never forget the treatment he received from the Ministry in his fifth year for claiming that Voldemort was back. Luckily Umbridge had been punished and most of the Ministry was now agreeable. But old habits die hard as the saying goes and he knew that it was especially true for this case.
Dumbledore's 'plan' might actually work, if one did not heed the other obvious, troubling aspects which spoke against it. "And what about his memories? Will he remember anything about his... previous life?" He didn't particularly want to be killed by the newborn Dark Lord and the irony of that happening wasn't lost on him.
"I can only guess but since—forgive me for my lack of modesty—my guesses were nearly always proven right, I am sure it will be for that case too," he paused, obviously thinking how he should put what he was intending to say in words.
Since the defeat of Voldemort, Dumbledore had rarely lied to Harry or kept something from him and Harry had forgiven him for manipulating him his entire life; he also recognized that without Dumbledore's intervention, his life wouldn't have turned out as well (or as long) as it was now, despite the losses he had experienced. And as long as he could smile and have fun with the ones he held dear, how he actually reached that point wasn't that important. Dumbledore probably tried to explain his doings to himself with that reasoning too.
So Harry couldn't quite understand why Dumbledore was starting to act like that again. He wasn't a child anymore who didn't know anything and was better left without knowing what was happening. Back then he clearly did not appreciate it even with a Dark Lord after his blood. So naturally, after his nerves had already been strained by the news of Voldemort being reincarnated as his son, he snapped, "Goddammit, Dumbledore! Don't keep things from me again! If I know, it won't threaten my life or anyone else's! On the contrary, it might save a lot of lives and aren't you doing everything for the greater good?! We're also talking about my child, so I have every right to know everything about it. I'm not the bloody Boy-Who-Lived anymore. The person standing in front of you is Harry James Potter; just Harry. So stop keeping everything to yourself, Dumbledore! I'm not a kid anymore!"
Dumbledore, whose face remained calm during Harry's entire outburst, nodded slowly. "Forgive this old man's fault, Harry," he smiled guiltily. "Being old has the disadvantage that you can't change yourself quite easily. I have forgotten. I thought of you still as the boy who was the only ray of hope against Voldemort." Harry was dying to say something, his fingers clenching into his palms, but decided to stay calm to hear what the old man was going to say.
"Whether it will really be Lord Voldemort, only a part of him, or even nothing which will be reborn as your son is something I'm not entirely sure about. Something like this has never happened before. The normal process of the ritual would be that the soul of the performer after his death would first search for an unborn person who shares the same blood and then destroy the soul of that person and overtake his or her body."
Harry's mind went numb. That sick bastard had killed his actual son before he had even be born, before he could see his parent's faces, or even see the sunlight for the very first time. Voldemort, it seemed, had taken his cruelty to even higher levels than Harry thought possible. While trying to assimilate that new terrible piece of information, he barely heard what Dumbledore was saying next.
"However, Voldemort's soul was at that point already destroyed to a very deep extent. Far weaker than a whole, pure and healthy soul; even of that of a child yet to be born. So I dare say that the soul of your son is not destroyed entirely—rather a part of his soul is occupied by the remains of what used to be Voldemort's soul. As for your actual question, I don't know how and to what extent it will affect your son. He may remember everything about his former life or only parts of it. If we are lucky, he will remember nothing at all."
"So you want to say that my son is not really 'dead' but he only has a part of Voldemort inside of his soul, and this is actually better?!" Harry asked incredulously. In his ears it sounded like his son was either a Horcrux like he used to be, or possessed by Voldemort; neither of which was better than the other.
"I think I haven't explained properly enough so allow me to elaborate," Dumbledore said firmly, wearing an expression Harry could not identify. "I didn't tell you the whole process of the ritual because of two reasons. The first one being I wanted to spare you from those terrible details," he smiled ruefully. "But you have already shown me that this is not a reason for you at least. The second reason is, in my opinion, one you would most likely agree with. I am quite sure that I know you fairly well and while you are without doubt a very intelligent wizard, I doubt that you would be very keen on knowing everything regarding the ritual and the spells involved in it, those being very complicated and reaching deep into the magic. I believe it is something that would appeal to Mrs. Weasley but not you. Especially after hearing those terrible things, something like how exactly the ritual works is probably the least of your worries and bothering you with it seemed both inappropriate and pointless to me."
Harry nodded slowly. Yes, it wasn't something he really wanted to know, even after school the understanding of the complexities of the magic was something he was unwilling to learn. And with his mind feeling so numb, he wasn't sure if he could even understand the basics of the ritual if explained. But those things weren't important now. For his son, for the decision he had to make, hearing everything involving it was crucial. He gave Dumbledore a signal to continue with his explanation.
"I will try to make it understandable to you. Basically the soul, after the body it had been inhabiting has died, will go to 'the place where all souls will eventually go', of course, the exception being the ghosts and Voldemort, whose soul was destroyed beyond repair. However, the other exception and the one important for this ritual is the phoenix. His soul stays in this world even after the death of his body and returns back to it when it is restored. Originally, the inventor of this ritual most likely wanted to copy that ability of reincarnation entirely but only managed to realize a part of it. That part was that the soul could stay in this world without a body, not unlike the Horcrux. But since the body cannot be restored like the phoenix's, the soul must search for a new body.
"It can't be that of an already living person as the bodiless soul is far weaker, you could say. It is on the verge of death, as the soul, unlike that of a phoenix, was not meant to stay in this world without a body, making it impossible to even try to destroy another soul and replace it. This is why the soul has to search for a soul yet to be born, because the soul then is at its' weakest point and only then will the performer's soul have even the slightest chance of overtaking another person's soul. However, it, of course, still remains a task with very high risks, another reason why I'm very curious about what exactly Voldemort was thinking when he decided to undergo the ritual."
He cleared his throat. "As I was saying, the soul has to search for a yet to be born soul, since this is the only choice it has if it wants to prevent its 'demise'. Choosing a soul hosted by a body sharing the same blood increases the likelihood of success as the overtake will go more smoothly. The reason for it involves soul vibrations, the blood's ability to pass down special magic and bonds and certain other things which I suppose will—forgive my lack of tact—only confuse you more and are also not very important to know in your case. So this is the reason why he chose your child's soul to occupy although I am not entirely sure if he did succeed as his soul, with being shred into many pieces, is even weaker than it usually would be without a body."
"But you have your...'guesses'," Harry interrupted for the first time since Dumbledore began to explain. And hopefully those are positive ones, Harry thought. In his experience he had great luck once he stumbled in a great misfortune and he would feel more than relieved if it was the case for this too.
"Yes I have," he smiled tiredly. "And I've already told you one and its possible influences on your child. The others I would like to...keep for myself." He raised his hand and effectively stopped the protests sprouting from his former student's mouth. "I have reasons, very good ones; believe me when I say that am not lying; not in this case, Harry." And he looked with his bright blue eyes straight into Harry's equally bright but green eyes.
But Harry glimpsed the truth of what he was saying in his eyes. It was impossible to know it for sure, as Harry could not perform Legillimency and Dumbledore could not easily give him proof while in this state, but at the same time, Harry could not deny the feeling in his gut-Dumbledore was telling the truth.
However, that did not mean that he was about to drop the matter. "And then why bother telling me the whole ritual if you won't answer my actual question?" he asked, half angry and half suspicious. If there was one thing he was sure he knew of Dumbledore, was that whatever he said or did was in some way intentional, especially if it involved Harry.
"Telling you everything which is undeniably your right will help you to come up with your decision, I am sure. But sharing some of my guesses, one more far-fetched than the other, will, I'm afraid, make you uncertain and fearful of what consequences your eventual decision might be and cloud your mind. Perhaps this information will cause you to decide in a way that you will regret later on."
This answer, if anything, made him grow even more suspicious and wary. There were many things he learned once he no longer had a Dark Lord to worry about, and one was to clearly determine when a person evaded a question or didn't give a straight or entirely truthful answer. Maybe, when he had been a student back in Hogwarts, he'd have been satisfied with this pseudo-answer but now he wasn't that easily fooled or distracted.
Harry didn't even bother to keep the impatience and frustration out of his voice. "Dumbledore, didn't we already have a talk about you not keeping things to yourself and giving straight answers and telling me information I have every right to know? I don't really feel like going through that again, so just tell me what your true object is."
He had expected many reactions Dumbledore might have after what he said. Guilt was one he anticipated but pain, anger, (directed not at Harry but at himself), and regret in this very extreme combination was definitely something he did not expect. Dumbledore had never reacted in that way—even when he did things which, in Harry's eyes were equally cruel and maybe even crueler than this, supposedly all for the greater good. But he was already past the point of anger, sadness, bitterness and all the other emotions he felt when he had realized how much Dumbledore had used him. He understood Dumbledore's reasons after all, and he could never truly hate him despite everything and nothing would change that. Although it was becoming more and more likely at the moment.
Dumbledore seemed to be about to say something; he had already opened his mouth but then in an uncharacteristic way of hesitation, he closed it again. A long silence followed after this as neither of them knew what to say.
It was Dumbledore's turn now to break it. Again in that uncharacteristically hesitant voice, he began to speak, his twinkles absent again. "I already told you my reason, my objective." He paused, his eyes looking distant as though he was remembering something from far back in his past.
"You weren't the only one who had time to think about...many things. When everything was over I wondered if I could not have prevented it, if I could not have turned everything for the better. What if I had done more? What if I had not only been watching; what if I had truly done something? I might have changed something, I might have changed him." He broke off, clearly too rapt in his musings of what could have been.
There were no words needed to know who Dumbledore meant. Harry felt both understanding and anger. Understanding because he too often wondered even after the war was over, if he couldn't have done something to prevent so many deaths. Anger that again Dumbledore was somehow 'using' him. Why should he go through all this trouble and pain only to correct a mistake which was undoubtedly done by Dumbledore?
It was no wonder Dumbledore hadn't told him the true reason as to why he insisted that Harry should allow Voldemort to live and redeem himself; if that was even possible for a twisted creature such as him. The reason was, for Dumbledore's standards, incredibly selfish. Trying to overcome the incredible guilt of not embracing the opportunity to prevent everything from happening by having Harry doing what ought to have been done by him. It must be like some kind of twisted replay of one of his worst moments in his life, Harry mused. His sister had died, although he could have prevented it; knowing what he, Grindelwald, might turn into or what he already had been or done. The similarities to the case of Voldemort were eerie.
This was most likely the reason why he acted as he did now. It was likely that after that fateful day, Dumbledore decided to deny what he himself wanted and prioritize the sakes of other people's lives over his own. Everything he did was for the greater good, ignoring the needs, wishes and wants of a person. Harry was the best example of this. In order for a greater amount of people to have their lucky lives, Harry's needs were prioritized in this way. Of course, Dumbledore himself was not an exception to that.
It was not that Harry approved of that, but he could understand him to a certain degree. He wasn't sure if he would have acted any better or even worse if he were in Dumbledore's place.
Maybe he did not want anyone, even Harry to see that he could not always forsake what he wanted; even if it meant endangering the lives of many people.
It probably killed him inside to see that very mistake he had tried so hard to not let happen again, be repeated in the worst way possible. Thus this was a rather selfish decision to thrust Harry with the responsibility to at least fix this very grave mistake of his somehow.
Harry did not know what to make of the fact that he didn't need any magic or other skills to figure this out. It was most likely a sign of how much he knew about his former headmaster. After the war, they had, despite not being needed anymore, many talks, especially with Harry finding out more about the other.
As he recalled the overall fond memories of their long talks, he could feel his anger subside, and before he knew it, he had already made his decision. He'd give Dumbledore a piece of peace he deserved. Although he had that nagging feeling that Dumbledore might or might not have already planned this to happen and that more or less, the whole talk had been just going as Dumbledore had predicted it to.
Even if his suspicion was right, it wouldn't change his decision. He was a Gryffindor after all.
A/N: The explanation part was kinda forcefully integrated in this chapter and this is why I had to change the chapter according to it. So sorry if it is bit unstructured and sometimes consists of mainly rambling. I wasn't quite sure if I should elaborate further about the ritual but then decided that not doing so would most likely create some plot holes later which I really want to prevent if possible.
I do hope that my explanation made somehow sense and was understandable I suck at explaining whether orally or written. Next chapter should be up, if I'm fast and don't get extremely lazy, in the next two or three weeks.
And please leave a review, if possible, I generally also suck at writing beginnings and would like to improve that, although criticism about other things, for example if the characters were IC (Dumbledore is really hard to get right), is very appreciated too! :)
