A Coat and a Pair of Converse
By: Secca Castillo
Xander and Willow cheered from their spots on the fence as Buffy knocked the newly risen vampire out with a final blow to the chest.
"And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, a perfect example of slayage."
"I have to agree. What form!"
Buffy patted her pockets down, looking for a stake. The trio had gone out hunting when Buffy had professed a sudden need to kick some undead ass, and for some reason, Mr. Pointy wasn't in his normal spot. As she did so, Buffy mentioned idly, "I think I recognize this one. He had some sort of meltdown over the coat he's wearing at that costume place we went to."
Willow looked over at the unconscious vamp, and shivered. "Poor guy. Must have gotten bitten just last night!"
"Sunnydale does have a fast turnover rate on funerals," Xander agreed.
"Ah ha!" Buffy looked up from her pockets and turned to Willow. "Wil, you had - "
Willow handed Buffy the stake she'd been holding out for the last minute or so, and Buffy turned back to the vampire, intent on staking it - only to see that the vamp was down a coat, and Xander was spinning, watching in admiration the way the tail ends of the ankle-length brown coat spun out.
"Gotta say, dead guy had taste!"
Buffy gave him a look of disgust.
"What? Not like he's going to use it anymore - besides, it was just going to go all dusty anyways!"
"I like it," Willow said. "It's very - very - something."
"Very something. Yeah, I can go with that. I'll wear it tomorrow, what do you think?"
"As what, a creepy stalker?" Buffy asked in derision.
"No way, as a cool guy in a brown coat!"
Buffy rolled her eyes, and started back down the row of graves, looking for more signs of action. Behind her, Willow and Xander were discussing what else could be added to the outfit, Xander's original plan of Soldier Boy apparently forgotten.
"It's weird, but I have the strangest idea that this'd go great with red converse..."
...-...
The Doctor was well equipped for many situations, so when a strangely attired girl came running up to him yelling about someone named "Xander" and having a panic attack because she was incorporeal, he was able to do his best in order to help her.
No one could claim that the Doctor wasn't well experienced in dealing with hysterical females.
A quick change in the settings on the sonic screwdriver and two seconds of blue light had the girl, who babbled that her name was Willow, able to interact with reality once more, and once he took a moment to think, he noticed that there was only one heart pumping in his chest.
"Right! Willow - it was Willow, yes? Willow, it seems that for some reason or another, I'm occupying your friend Xander's body. I'm terribly sorry - I don't particularly like others in my own body either - but it wasn't exactly by choice, and I do promise to return it in the best shape I can possibly manage. Now, it has come to my attention that this city - is it a city? No, never mind, it's a town, I can only see one Starbucks from here - this city is plagued by various demons and assorted baddies. In keeping with my original promise, I have no option but to sum up that realization with the following: RUN!"
...-...
They encounter Buffy, of course, and moved to her house - it was the closest - and barricaded the door - only to take down the barricade again when Cordelia showed up. (She was unchanged by the night's magic, the Doctor noted.)
It didn't take long for the Doctor to figure out the cause for the night's mischief, and inquire off-hand as to the location of the store the costumes had been purchased at.
Angel turned up, and the Doctor did not try to kill him on sight, although he did get a flinty look in his eyes and told the souled vampire that under no circumstances was he allowed to hurt the girl he claimed to love.
Angel understood without being told that the man in charge of Xander's body did not believe in second chances.
The Doctor vanished soon after the warning. He left his coat on top of Buffy, who had fallen asleep on the couch.
...-...
The bust of Janus, it turned out, was not immune to all things sonic.
...-...
The next morning was bright and beautiful, everything California was known to be, even on November 1st.
The Scoobies were found in the library a full hour and a half before school started, waiting impatiently for Giles to arrive.
When he did, the Watcher was somewhat surprised to see not only Buffy waiting for him, but Willow and Xander as well. Buffy needed less sleep than the average, as the Slayer, which Giles occasionally used as an excuse to get her in early to do some training, but seeing the other two was quite the surprise. It wasn't even seven yet!
"What are you doing here this early?"
"Figured you'd want to discuss the weirdness, G-Man."
"Major weirdness." Buffy's expression was one of extreme distaste.
"Weirdness? Nothing happened last night, did it?"
"Giles? How did you not notice?"
"Maybe he went to a party! Maybe - maybe he dressed up as an amnesiac or something? Giles, you know who we are, right? I'm Willow - "
"Yes, yes, Willow, I'm quite aware - but what are you talking about? Nothing happens on Halloween!"
"Yeah, should have told your old friend Ethan that."
"...What?"
...-...
It was the fifth time this morning Giles had cleaned his glasses, and he was wishing dearly for a cup of tea as well. This was simply too much.
"You - you were some sort of noble woman, Buffy? Good heavens!"
"I was a ghost!"
"...A ghost? As in, a spirit that has remained in this realm?"
"I think so. I was walking through things until Not-Xander found me."
"And- and what did you dress up as Xander?"
"I didn't know who he was when I dressed up, but now I know he's the Doctor."
Giles had grown up in London. One does not live in England at all without gaining a passing familiarity with certain figures in British culture.
Giles, of course, had more than a passing familiarity with the series known as "Doctor Who". It could be said, in fact, that he had been obsessed with it as a child.
There was the sound of glass breaking.
"What!?"
...-...
"Well, I can speak French now."
It was a few weeks later. Giles had finally stopped treating Xander like a celebrity, and Willow no longer panicked at the sight of white sheets.
"Oh yeah?"
Buffy passed a sheet over to Xander, who saw the circled "A" at the top and let out a low whistle. "Nice, Buffster!"
"It's odd - all the memories are gone, but I still know all these random facts about 18th century fine china and lace. Why didn't that fade, too?
Xander frowned thoughtfully. "I suppose because you didn't have sections of your memory started for lace, and you do have lots of memories stored up about life in general. So- new sections were imprinted with information, but nothing could be overwritten. Seeing as Miss Lady Airhead was about your age, I'd think that your memories of life in general got priority. The bits about lace and fine china? They went to places in your mind that weren't "filled" yet."
Buffy turned to face her friend. "Hey, that's not a Xander-answer. What's going on, mister?"
"I think the same happened to me, actually."
"What, you got filled up with Doctor-stuff?"
"Yeah. You could say that."
"So, what - do you have a database of converse in your head now?"
"Buffy, I want you to understand that the Doctor is very, very smart, and very, very old. I have a bit more than converse stuck up in here." He tapped his head lightly.
"Oh."
"Oh is right. Just - promise you won't mention the database of everything to Giles, okay? He's already tried to get me to discuss the Doctor, and if I have to listen to him waxing poetic about the way he hid behind the couch the first time he saw a Dalek on the telly, I'm going to - to - something!"
Buffy looked at him, and giggled. Even with the knowledge of a Time Lord in his head, Xander was still... Xander.
End Notes: So I gave in and wrote a YAHF. Uhm. Yes. This is all that I really had in mind, so no additions are planned. That might change once I get around to re-watching Buffy though, who knows?
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