"They say a blind man sees,
More than a seeing man's eyes,
But fate never aims to please,
It just aims to make you cry.
And although you think fates taken all,
Your family and your hope,
Fate quickly builds another wall,
Too unbearable to cope."
I hear this, yes I hear this…not being to read with out my eyes…without the vision of those blurry words etched into paper by my own fingers.
I wrote this, yes I wrote this…some didn't think Dick Grayson, circus orphan could write poetry at all, or that circus orphan could feel feelings after that one fateful night that took all shreds of human emotion and ripped it from my young heart.
Days ago, it seems like eternity, my world dissipated into a black canvas. I mean sure, I'm Robin, I train for these situations with my father…but it's nothing like the reality when something like a bandanna tied around your eyes turns into a hood pulled over your head and sewn into your skin. I've seen doctors sure, they say that the light that blinded me, explosion really, the firework of iridescent sparks, ruptured my…I won't get into scientific terms…I'm blind…simple and straight, one blunt word describes the end of my world.
"They say there are many blessings to being blind.
You see more of life that those who can actually see it.
They say blindness is a gift.
They say you will begin to realize this as time progresses.
They say you may see again…there is hope.
They say "don't worry life is kind."
But you have already experienced how it is not.
You realize as time progresses they are lying about everything…
What do you do? Turn the other cheek to their deceitfulness?
Life is NOT kind.
You will NOT see.
There is NO blessing.
There is NO hope.
The only truth is the one you've been telling yourself since your world was replaced by a black curtain…you will never see again….
What does this lead to? Is it the end of your sense of honor and nobility?
Will you choose to drown in self-pity for last of your life?
Life is not kind… only when it stares you in the face do you realize the kindness you pretend to feel is just a fragment of you imagination."
I never knew something so simple…could lead to the end of the Boy Wonder. Am I embarrassed? Extremely. That I, after all the hell I have endured in my short life, would be erased from existence by one, small problem. The ability to see…its so unappreciated…taken for granted, after my parents died I only wished not to see the beauty of the world…I felt misplaced, I felt as if my parents, my beautiful parents deserved to see it too. Now, I only wish I could see it again.
I didn't die from the blindness, that was only the reason I chose to die…you see, for quite some time I've had to smile when I don't want to, I've had to cry, laugh, pretend. My friends oblivious. For quite some time I've been looking for an excuse to join my parents where ever they may be…in heaven, I expect them to be waiting for me with tears in their eyes and open arms, I expect to die and regain my sight. Do you understand?
They say blindness is a gift.
I say…I know. When I jumped, I couldn't see the ground rushing up to meet me.
It was suddenly warm, a jolt, a cold shudder and then their faces…their smiling faces, I cried as I saw them, yes I saw them. And it was just like I had imagined. This was the true kindness life had promised.
Origonally I felt bad for leaving Bruce, I know he has already felt the pain of losing his parents, and the lust of wanting them back. And I was guilty of making him lose a son as well, but inside I knew I'd see him soon...
Please, don't think of me as weak, I am anything but.
I was strong to make this choice...but selfish to only think of myself.
with one pain, comes another. I am with my parents...but I am without my family.
I think now, maybe being blind was a blessing because it made me realize you don't usually see love...you just know it's there. I wish that I could tell him that, Bruce that is, so he'd know, that just because his parents are gone...he's not alone.
But now isn't he? because I left? Arn't they, my friends? because I failed to bid farewell? would my soul ever rest?
I reached out to hold my mother today, and she passed thorugh my finger like smoke, my father too. I realized I also was turning to dust.
And as I looked over the earth below, I only heard tears from my friends, I only felt the cold readiating from their bodies,
Oh God! they hated me!
No, they mourned me, they pityed me for my choice.
I too was starting. I had lived for so long with out something, I had frogotten what it was like to lose.
Maybe losing my sight, was better than losing my life.
And with that, I leaped from the clouds once more and closed my eyes.
a falling angel,
but I prefered to fall blind.
ohhh. just a one-shot.
Review please! I love to know what you thought as you read this...
-EACT
:D