As promised to Nuity, I started cross-posting my fanfics from archive of our own (my pseudo there is Hazazel). This was written for the april 2015 Oikage week, I'll just post everything into one 9 chaptered fic here. I hope you enjoy !

Prompts were : Orange lily : desire, passion, hatred (negative) / Lily of the Valley : trust

"So, we've lost."

Oikawa's voice was not nearly as cheerful as it used to be, it was so filled with hatred – towards himself, Shiratorizawa, everyone – that Kageyama could only stare with a blank face at such an unusual display of emotion. Oikawa seemed to notice and the eternal arrogance smothered his rage under a teeth-showing grin.

"You took the finale from us, then you lost. You're not even here to apologize."

Oikawa tsk-ed, head cocked to the side, smile even broader.

"Tobio-chan, I just told you I suffered a great loss, and you're being so rude !"

"Shut up, Oikawa-san."

They went silent, both staring at the wild expanse of dirt at their feet. Oikawa had come to see him, at his own house – how had he even found his address ? So far, all they had exchanged was those four sentences and a few glances, quickly averting their eyes as soon as they were noticed staring. Kageyama still had his sports uniform on from practice, and his volleyball in his bag.

He may not have another chance.

"Oikawa-san, teach me how t-"

He was stopped by a sharp, cold retort.

"Iwa-chan's not here to hold me back if you ask this of me again."

It did a pretty good job at silencing Kageyama. They went on sitting quietly for a few minutes, but eventually he got up and grabbed his bag.

"Leaving so soon ?"

Kageyama only shrugged. What his former captain – not that he ever was good at being one – wanted had nothing to do with him. What a shame.

"You did threaten to hit me."

Kageyama might have done too much of a good job at making his voice perfectly blank, so he hid his eyes behind his hair to avoid the large, fake smile Oikawa sent his way.

"So, see you on the court, King."

With an annoyed grumble, he walked past Oikawa, shoulders slightly hunched.

As if he were afraid I'd hurt him.

Kageyama had the same look of helpless resignation he had three years ago in that field, the same he had six years ago in middle school, and it made Oikawa cringe internally. He wouldn't have done it, with or without Hajime to hold him back. He was not about to hurt anyone due to mere anger. But Kageyama still was right. He knew, even back in middle school, that his jealousy was petty and pointless, and jealousy also hurt. If he were being honest with himself, it hadn't mattered then, nor did it matter when they played against each other two years later. And he was here to make sure it would never matter anymore.

"So, you lost again..?"

The hand playing with his hair stopped.

"I did not lose, I came here to talk."

A pause.

"I don't play volleyball anymore."

He would have enjoyed the blue eyes widening comically a lot more, if they hadn't been filled with intense horror. Oikawa resumed the movement of his hand, trying to catch his breath unnoticed. He had ran to arrive at Kageyama's house on time, crossing his fingers for Shrimpy-chan not to be here on this last day before the holidays.

"Oikawa-san... You... You can't just stop ! It's volleyball !"

He was giving him the look. The naive one. Emotions displayed freely on his face, his eyes trailing up Oikawa's legs, stopping at the knee. At the very visible knee cap.

"You train too much."

It was not Iwaizumi's annoying complaint, but a mournful, soft tone, one he understood. Even if Kageyama had already won, he still seemed to see him as a valuable opponent. The first. His enemy and his model.

He must really have ran too much, and his smile cracked as his legs gave up under him, the useless Grand King collapsed on the ground at the feet of a new one. Oh yes, jealousy still mattered, so thick it was almost blinding. Even the way Kageyama looked at him with concern – and this admiration, it couldn't seem to go away – right now it all felt rotten . Kageyama was in his bloody uniform again, standing up and suddenly he felt the need to make something, anything, to keep the admiration in those eyes alive.

"Get your volleyball."

Kageyama's look definitely was comical, but he still obeyed and fetched it from his bag.

"I'll teach you how to jump serve."

Fascinated, he watched as Kageyama's face went from wonder to despair, settling on a distressed expression. He supposed that most of this indecisiveness was caused by fear.

Or mistrust.

"Why ?"

'So you will still look up to me' obviously was not the right answer.

"Don't you trust me, Tobio-chan ?"

"No."

Well, that was harsh. How was he supposed to be nice with Kageyama being such a pain ? "You're 21 and you're still a pain", Iwaizumi always said. "Stop being such a child." Well, wasn't it a sign that he had grown up, teaching his best opponent his signature serve ?

"Change your mind, then."

His smooth answer made the smirk come back full force. Surely Kageyama would not miss that chance after pestering him for so long.

"No."

Fear.

Kageyama had learned so much duing his three years at Karasuno, he had moved on. And yet, because Oikawa had not, how would he without volleyball, he could not trust him. He still flinched at every sudden move. He still had his shoulders hunched.

"Ok. At least, jump serve for me."

He had known what his serve looked like, while they both played. It was much harder now to get footage of the matches, and he missed that. Kageyama used to hit the ball too soon, not trusting enough to wait for the highest point in fear he might miss it.

"You needed to hit the ball later, in high school. If you hit it too soon, it loses power. Trust your jump a little more !"

"Trust ?" Kageyama gave the word a strange sound, almost foreign, undesired.

"Yeah, trust. That's what you were lacking, right ? Though I reckon Shrimpy-chan made quite a good job on that. Hey, he trusted you so completely he closed his-"

"Don't talk about Hinata."

Oikawa just smiled, and moved closer.

"Calm down, Kageyama. If you don't want to serve, maybe we can start team-building exercises ?"

"No."

"But-"

Kageyama walked away, his ball in his hands, not sparing a glance at Oikawa.

[Unknown number, 10:15pm] Oi. Why did you take my bag.

[Oikawa-san, 10:20pm] What did you do to have Iwa-chan give you my number ?

[Tobio, 10:22pm] I asked. Do you still have it ?

[Oikawa-san, 10:20pm] Nice dinosaur socks.

[Tobio, 10:22pm] Don't look ! I want it back. Tomorrow at 10.

[Oikawa-san, 11:06pm] I'll be there.

There was a knock on the door but Kageyama did not bother answering. It was not for him – Oikawa would not be there before quarter past ten, if he was lucky – so he started a little when the door of his room was shut loudly.

"Still not dressed, Tobio-chan ?"

Of course it would be Oikawa. Surprising him by not being late as usual and coming into his room instead of waiting outside for a bit.

And, he was actually not fully dressed. He had a T-shirt on, but could not decide which trousers to wear – the volleyball one, and running the risk of being asked to play, or the normal one, and not being ready to play when Oikawa was gone.

"Well well, Tobio, drop the volleyball stuff. We're not playing today."

He dropped the bag on the ground and threw him the pair of jeans.

"Holidays ! Let's have fun !"

Oikawa wanting fun sounded like doom, unavoidable and scary. And painful. These thought must have shown on his face because Oikawa patted his head reassuringly.

"Don't worry, we're not going to the movies. We'll just hang out and have ice cream."

Doom, it was definitely doom.

Tobio was leaning on him – willingly. Eyes closed, limbs relaxed, nose buried deep in Oikawa's neck. An arrogant smirk stretched his lips as Tobio sighed a little and sunk deeper into his hair.

"You're smirking, Shittykawa."

Whining, he pinched the pale – and bare – sides of... He didn't know yet how to call it. Trust was not something Kageyama Tobio easily gave and it had taken weeks for Oikawa to take him to dinner. Months to call those dates. A year to wrench those four words from kiss-swollen lips - "I love you". Another to move to Oikawa's better furnished apartment in Tokyo. Still, he could feel Tobio's shoulders clench when he kissed him unexpectedly, and he so rarely cuddled. 'Trustful' definitely was not Oikawa's first word to describe Kageyama Tobio. Iwaizumi always said it was a wonder Oikawa held on for something this long – Tobio had asked, once, their whole bodies pressed flushed against each other, legs tangled, "Why are you here, how comes you're still with me ?"

Sure, envy, jealousy were the first sparks of his interest. Sure, he had never really been gentle, still wasn't. Remembering Tobio's tears when he told him about the match, his smile after he and Hinata won the university championship, his sighs and moans and the smell of coffee the morning after – those were the reasons. You could trust Tobio to hold on when it came to volleyball. Oikawa was the one to care for the rest.

Tobio's jump serve had never been better.