Everything was planned and I finally had enough time alone to escape. I climbed into the cabin of my truck and was greeted by the roaring of the engine. I had tugged my jacket on as I ran out of Edward's house, promising I'd be back soon and that he didn't need to worry.
Before I knew it, I was halfway between Charlie's house and LaPush. My brows knotted tightly as I hesitantly crawled out of the truck and met the ground with a soft thud. I sighed heavily, closing the door with a push of my hand and leaned back against the side of the truck.
From where I stood, I could see the road that would take me up to Jacob's house. Teeth sunk into my lips as I lowered my head, trying to ignore the sudden stinging of tears. Fists balled and clenched at my sides as I turned to open the door again, flipping the radio on.
My ears caught the sound of a wolf howling in the distance. My heart sunk and my stomach knotted, I knew that howl. I knew why it was so full of anguish. The words from the radio were more than enough to break me all over again; it was so fitting – so heartbreakingly fitting.
"I will never let you fall. I'll stand up with you foreverI'll be there for you through it all Even if saving you sends me to heaven," the words repeated over and over in my head, pulling at any sanity and emotions I had left after the last few days.
It seemed that in the hour that I stood outside in the chilly air, every song that came on the radio seemed to perfectly fit my twisted situation. Yes, I was happy. Yes, I was going to spend the rest of my existence with Edward… but then there was Jacob. "I wish I could still call you a friend, I'd give anything…" I whispered through the sobs that suddenly started to wrack and break my body.
"Oh god," I whispered as I forced myself to take in a deep breath. The anguished howling had faded long ago, I didn't have to second guess – he was off. Where he was off to, who knew. He had gone running… the one thing that I kept telling myself not to do. "That last kiss, I'll cherish until we meet again…" I repeated the words with the song blasting on the radio before climbing back into the cabin and curling up into a ball on the seat.
When I finally sat up, I instantly locked eyes with a wolf standing at the edge of the forest. It wasn't Jacob, though. It was Quil. I tried for a slight smile, but it failed and I shook my head slowly before I turned the key in the ignition and sped off down the road that would take me back to Edward.
I wasn't even all the way up to the front door when I ran straight into Edward's waiting arms and began sobbing all over again into his chest as he stood in the massive front yard and held me, his fingers pulling through my hair. He didn't say a word; he just held me and let me cry it all out. I couldn't have asked for more.
"I don't deserve you," I managed to whisper through a ragged sob.