Hello everyone. I know what you're thinking; What the hell is she doing writing another fanfic, right? Well my friend and I were talking a long time ago and we were saying all these stupid things about what should happen and what not. So I said I would put it in a fanfic, so ha, here it is. : ) : ) I was really bored anyway so I really hope that you all enjoy my new story. : ) : ) Read and Enjoy!

Let's Get Retarded!

Drunken Party

Everyone was drunk. I, Kari Hiwatari, a strange seventeen year old girl with long black hair and blue eyes and the only girl to ever dare to wear a boy's school uniform, will be the only one to ever remember what happened at this party. Even Shippo, the young kitsune, was drunk because he had gotten into the spiked punch. 'I can't believe this. Oh god, this is so funny!' I thought with a laugh shown on my face.

"Hey there cutie, how goes it?" a cool voice asked me, and I knew exactly who it was.

"Koga… What's a popular guy like you doing over here with a complete freak of nature?" I laughed, smelling the punch on his breath.

'Aw man he's totally wasted! Oh god, this is so funny! I guess I could do anything to him and he wouldn't remember!' I thought with an evil smirk on my face.

"Are you kidding me, a sweetheart girl like you…?"

I stared at the wolf demon with a surprised face. 'He thinks I'm a sweetheart? Dude, he must think I'm Kagome!'

"Uh yeah, hello, knock on wood! I'm not Kagome!"

"No duh! You're that Hiwatari girl, the one who likes to hang alone at school and wears the boy's school uniform!" Koga laughed with an amused smile on his face.

'This would be the perfect day if Miroku would just start flirting with someone! He's just sitting there, barely talking and not looking at any girl that dares walk by! No even Sango!' Koga sat next to me on a couch that I was lazing on and I grabbed a random textbook that was left on the table and smashed him over the head with it. He fell backwards with swirly eyes and drool coming from the left corner of his mouth. Getting to my feet, I walked over to Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo transformed into Kagome, and Hachi, who was also transformed into Kagome. 'Why are Shippo and Hachi transformed into Kagome?'

"Hey Kari! Why aren't you partying like the rest of us?" Inuyasha asked as he placed an arm around my shoulder.

"What happened to Koga?" Hachi wondered before hiccupping.

"He's asleep!" I replied with a smile.

"B…"

"Trust me Hachi, he's ASLEEP!"

'How did this happen?'

Earlier in the Day…

Kari wake up! Go to school you're late!" a voice boomed through my sleep.

'Aw shut up you stupid alarm clock! You're so annoying!' I cried in my head as I reached for my alarm clock. Taking hold of it, the door to my room opened.

"Come on I sa…"

SMASH

I threw my clock into the wall right next to the doorway which made everything shut up. 'That's better!' I thought with a smile.

"Get up Kari. How do you think mom and dad are gunna feel when they find out that you broke another alarm clock?"

"Well if you did something other than call my name to get me up then maybe it wouldn't be that way. Besides, it's probably fine!"

Sitting up, I looked towards the wall beside the door. There was a huge crack in it and the clock was fine. 'How does that work?'

"Told ya!" I laughed.

"Look at the wall dough head!"

"Hey Sid, why don't you go to school too? Instead of sitting here telling me that I'm late!"

My older brother looked at me with a small glare.

"Oh you're good," he said quietly before walking away.

'It's only history class that I'll miss. It's not like it's that important!'

About half an hour later I arrived at school and went to my locker, taking my time as I went along. 'So far that day seems pretty normal. I wonder what Mr. Po-po will say this time. Probably his stupid 'I know your parents well Miss Hiwatari' speech again.' I thought with a sigh, rolling my eyes as I grabbed my history textbook.

"The boy's school uniform seems to suit you, Miss Hiwatari. Maybe it will grab your class' attention when you go to it,' a woman's voice said from behind me.

'Damn it, it's the principal! I'm so dead now! The woman hates my guts!'

"Why hello Mrs. Takibana! I was just getting to class!"

"Yes, but why are you late?"

"Uh yeah about that… Look a distraction!" I cried, pointing down the hallway.

The principal was distracted and I ran down the hallway toward my classroom. 'Man she's so stupid sometimes! But as soon as she figures it out, I'm so dead!' With a smile I was about to turn around the corner when I heard the principal's voice screaming.

"Get to your class Miss Hiwatari! Your parents will receive a call about your tardiness!"

'Whatever!' I opened the door to my classroom and was heaving heavily because of running down the hall.

"Kari Hiwatari, late again I see. You will be stuck with cleaning duties once again," the teacher said as he marked me tardy on the attendance list.

"Sorry Mr. Po-po!" I apologized, taking my seat.

The whole class was staring at me with small smiles on their faces. All but Sesshoumaru, who never seemed to show anything, 'Yep, a normal day. No friends to laugh it out with, and only the solitary confinement of my stupid first period class. Damn I hate this class. Actually, I hate this whole school.'

Mr. Po-po walked up to the board and started to write the date down. A piece of paper hit the back of my head and I was confused since my seat was at the back of the classroom. 'How the hell does that work?' Picking up the piece of paper, I read the note in the inside.

I said: "Nice job with being late again. We could use a partier like you, since you seem to be late every day. Meet us at the school's front doors to talk. Oh yeah, try not to be late: ) : )… Koga.

"What the hell, this guy has issues," I whispered to myself, crumpling up the piece of paper and throwing it backwards.

"Alright class, enough staring at Miss Hiwatari. I'm sure she has an explanation for her tardiness, but she can explain that all through her cleaning duties. Now we can continue our…"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Everyone started laughing, well everyone but of course, Sesshoumaru. 'I think Mr. Po-po is gunna snap!'

"Excuse me, but can I talk to Kari for a second?"

"Very well Mr. Hiwatari. I wish you would use your Spare more wisely than dragging your already late sister out of class," the teacher said before turning around, "Miss Hiwatari, please speak to this young man as quickly as possible!"

"Dude!" a boy shouted from the front.

"At least we don't have to work," Koga laughed.

"Can it flea bag! She doesn't need YOU gawking at her all the time either!" Inuyasha growled.

"Oh yeah mutt face? I bet Kari doesn't care what anyone says about her."

"Why don't both of you leave each other be and talk later?" Sesshoumaru grunted with annoyance.

I got out of my seat and went to the door, closing it on the way out.

It took fifteen minutes to talk to Sid before returning to class. I had a folded square piece of paper in my hand and tossed it in front of Koga. He opened it and read it over.

First it had a huge glob of spit at the top and it said: "You like bananas? Well how do you like them bananas? You've got yourself a deal! I'll meet you at the front doors after second period. Speaking of which, second period with start in 5… 4… 3…"

"Finally class can begin!" Mr. Po-po said with a sigh.

Then the bell rang and everyone grabbed their books.

"Will I ever be able to teach my class!" Mr. Po-po screamed as everyone left the classroom.

In second period, the girl and boy P.E. teams went outside to the field. Again I wore the boys' phys-ed clothes instead of the girls' since the shorts seemed more appealing than the bathing suit thing and a t-shirt. In the boys' class, Inuyasha and Koga were trying to kill each other with the dodge ball and the perverted Miroku actually wasn't trying to make his way over to the girls. 'Now that's messed up! Every time I see Miroku he's always flirting with some girl and now he's not doing anything!' This caused my right eye to twitch slightly. Before everyone knew it, Inuyasha and Koga were both knocked out by Sesshoumaru with the dodge ball.

"Dude, Koga's on your team!" a boy shouted.

"They're both annoying," he replied calmly, walking away from the group.

All the girls were staring at him with hearts in their eyes.

"Isn't he just dreamy?" they all sighed with the thought of marrying Sesshoumaru.

"Maybe of you all stop gawking at him he'll notice you. I mean I bet he can't choose when you're ALL staring at him like that!" I mocked them with a smirk.

For that I receive at least thirty-five glares from them.

Second period went by slowly since all the girls weren't doing anything except staring at all the boys. When the bell rang to go to lunch, the only thing I could say was "THANK YOU!" Taking my time, I walked to the front of the school before getting changed into the regular school uniform. 'Why the hell would Koga was me to meet him at all? I don't even know the guy and I'm sure as hell that he's probably not interested in going on a date. If he was, he was probably turned off by the spit in the paper!' Koga was already at the doors waiting with a bunch of other people. 'So that's what he meant by us.'

"Kari, how's it going?" Koga asked as he ran up to me.

"Alright, what do you want and why are there a bunch of people here?" I interrogated.

"We want you to come to our party tonight. It is Friday so you probably don't have a time to go to bed do you?" Inuyasha asked with a smirk on his face.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome screamed at him.

"What did I do?"

"Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! SIT!"

I watched with surprise at how Kagome could make the silver haired boy crash face first into the ground just by saying 'sit'. 'That's so cool! I'd love to have that for Sid or Mr. Po-po!' I thought with an amused face.

"So what do you say?" Sango wondered with a smile.

"Yeah, alright. Sounds like a good idea to me. It's not like I have anything better to do anyway," I agreed, lowering my voice at the end.

"Awesome! Eight at my house. You know where it is!" Koga said with a cocky grin.

"Unfortunately you're my neighbor," I whispered with some shame.

Sango turned to Miroku and was surprised to see him still sitting there.

"Why aren't you flirting?"

At the Party (Present)…

'Oh right, now I remember. But how did all these people get drunk so fast? I mean, it's only been five minutes for crying out loud!' Shippo came up behind me, still transformed into Kagome and he was still laughing his head off.

"Hiya Shippo!" Hachi cried happily.

"Kagome… why is your voice… so screechy?" Shippo laughed, looking at Hachi with a smile since the raccoon dog was Kagome too.

Sango came up to Inuyasha, slowly staggering along with a small laugh coming from her with every step.

"Hey Inuyasha, can I talk to you for a minute?" Sango asked as she wrapped her left arm around his shoulders.

'This isn't gunna go over too well. Especially since Kagome is drunk and she was already jealous over Inuyasha.'

"Stupid monkey," Kagome whispered with a glare towards both Sango and Inuyasha.

"Uh Kagome, that's not a monkey…"

Before I could finish, I was jumped by someone and almost fell forward.

"Kari!" a voice said happily into my ear.

'No freaking way! He doesn't even glance my way, and he's either hugging me or trying to make me fall.' I glanced over Koga's way to make sure he was still knocked out on the couch.

"Kari, daisuki!" his voice said again, just as happy as before.

"Lord Sesshoumaru! Lord Sesshoumaru I love you!"

Suddenly he let go of me and started to run across the room as a small green thing ran after.

"I love you lord Sesshoumaru!"

With a really shocked face, I looked back over to Sango and Inuyasha.

"Let's go Inuyasha. I'm sick of Miroku always flirting. Let's go kill some demons!" she said with a small smile, drunkenness obvious in her voice.

"What ya talking about?" Inuyasha said with worry.

"Miroku's a lecher. So let's go defeat something, alright?" she asked, slowly moving in for a kiss.

Inuyasha was trying to pull away and then a loud cry filled the room, the sacred word that would only hurt his ears.

"I love you lord Sesshoumaru!" the tiny toad cried.

"Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit!" Kagome screamed, getting onto her knees in front of Inuyasha.

Sango backed away slowly and went over to Miroku to see if he would just flirt with one person. 'That was messed up! Poor Inuyasha, he didn't even do anything wrong!' I laughed slightly, finding Inuyasha's misery amusing in some way. Again, all of a sudden, someone almost tackled me to the ground.

"Go away Jaken, I do not desire you back!" Sesshoumaru said sternly before resting his head against mine.

"But lord Sesshoumaru, I love you! Ever since I saw you the first time in battle!" Jaken cried, literally crying at seeing his lord holding a girl.

'This is a messed up party. Why are these guys coming after me? And why isn't Miroku flirting with anyone?' A small laugh came from me at all that was happening and then noticed that Koga had woken up from his unconsciousness.

"Why is mutt face being sat?" Koga's voice came with a laugh.

Over in the corner of the room, Inuyasha was still being forced to fall face forward by Kagome's screams of anger.

"Wait, why are you on my woman!" Koga shouted at Sesshoumaru for him having his arms around me.

"You're woman? She doesn't have your scent on her," Sesshoumaru said with a small smirk.

'His woman? His scent on me! What the hell are they talking about?'

"Uh yeah, I don't belong to anyone. I've never even had a boyfriend so before this turns into a war, I'm gunna go home," I laughed with a nervous smile.

Trying to take a step, I fell over because Sesshoumaru wouldn't let me go.

"Come on Sesshoumaru, let me go!" I laughed at my stupidity.

"But Kari, daisuki!" he replied with a small whine.

"I like you more!" Koga whined as well.

'Oh god! Kill me now!' Up in heaven, god was holding a machine gun with a red laser pointer pointed at my head. Right before he could shoot, he got a phone call and got distracted.

"Karen!"

Back on earth, Sesshoumaru and Koga were on their stomachs with both hands on one foot; Sesshoumaru on the right, and Koga on the left. 'Stupid lousy no good piece of monkey! I just was to get home!' I tried walking and almost fell over because I couldn't move as far as I wanted. Two steps and I was tired. In the background you could hear…

"Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit!"

"The demon slayer is trying to make the monk feel better," Hachi was heard narrating.

Once the sitting stopped and I took another step, Inuyasha got to his feet and what we heard shocked us all.

"Come here little kitsune!" he said in a rather female voice.

'Poor Shippo!' I thought with waterfall tears falling from my eyes because I couldn't move.

End of Chapter 1

Heh, I thought it was funny at the time. : ) : ) I hope that you all found that it was funny as well. : ) : ) That was the all time master plan of mine. Sorry for any spelling mistakes that I made. I'm not really the greatest speller on the computer, but I'll get around to fixing it one day. : ) : ) Anyway, I'm done for now. Please R&R and I'll update as soon as I can. : ) : )