I do not own Gundam Seed Destiny's plot or characters.
My desk was enormous; it was assigned in my office for paperwork, to sign important treaties with every other country once in a while and to simply work my brains out all day. I unbuttoned my blue and white trench coat and let the skin of my neck breathe. The window, behind my desk chair, let in the beautiful sunshine, which plunged down on my back, heating my whole body. This feels nice... I smiled and grabbed the small picture on the far end of my wooden desk and felt the structure of the metal frame on my digits, the coldness of it buzzing me off. I slowly looked at the detailed photograph. This picture, if my memory served me right, was about a year old and the scenery was delicate and flowery. It was taken outside, under a cherry blossom and people were sitting on a picnic table. The main focus was my little sister, Cagalli Yula Atha, who was unwillingly blowing the seventeen candles on her birthday cake, her unofficial boyfriend Athrun Zala sitting at her right, smiling softly. On her right was my other younger sibling, Kira Yamato, who was struck with the wind and his very good friend Lacus Clyne, hero to the ZAFT nation and one of my very best friends too. I took a closer look on the woman behind Cagalli, who was standing straight and sighed heavily. She wasn't much taller than Kira and wore, on that day, a dark pair of jeans and a white tee shirt. Her hair, as usual, was in a ponytail, being too long for a windy day in the park. She was barely smiling, her face hidden under a layer of thick, white icing, partially hiding her nose and her cheekbones. Cagalli 'accidently' has rubbed it on her ivory skin. The thing with that woman is that she was giving the camera a very stiff, almost rigid gaze, proof that she must've been worn out by the previous war. This Bloody Valentine war had tainted her spirit, it seemed. That woman was no stranger to me since she was actually I, Kim Desjardins.
She was I a year ago, when I got a full time job in the Government of Orb. But most importantly, she was the only person in that picture that wasn't entirely happy. I wasn't happy and I didn't understand why. For once, I had all the reasons in the world to be joyful: the war was over and I helped to end it, killing in my path one of the most dangerous ZAFT Elites there was. Second of all, I didn't die and didn't see anyone close to me being hurt... Which is a lie, of course. I had lost my very own person that mattered most in my little closed world; Seth Yoshiro had died during combat and it still affected me today... more than any other time during war. Maybe it was because the world was finally settling down and that I had time to think about him again, to go through every reason why, on the other end, I didn't die. I knew the answer but just wouldn't admit it for it was so unreal. That woman in the picture was now hardly recognizable, even her being myself. Today, I was busy like I've never been busy in my whole life; being the Orb Representative's right hand, I had to work fully all day and almost all night and couldn't even have time to eat. But I was grateful to my sister Cagalli for offering me a job. After all, being the Orb's Representative, Cagalli had a lot of power... a lot.
I replaced the picture on the right side of my desk and stood up from my chair, my stiff legs waking up again. I walked to the window and looked down on the street below, where passing citizens hurried for a place on the bus. My desk phone rang and I answered monotone, my secretary advising me that Cagalli Yula Atha was on her way to meet me, actually walking up the stairs to my office. I thanked the lady and slammed the phone shut on the adapter, lazily falling down on my chair again. When I looked at my clock five minutes later, Cagalli wasn't here still. It wasn't in her habits to be late to a meeting and she was never late to the meetings she personally called. After another couple of minutes waiting, someone knocked on my door and I pressed the small red button under my desk, unlocking the door. "You can come in."
There she was: Cagalli Yula Atha in all of her stressed splendour, her short golden hair flowing as she walked to my desk. "Kim! You look absolutely dead! Why didn't you tell me that you had too many hours? I am going to change your schedule as soon as..." I didn't let finish her sentence.
"Cagalli Yula Atha. You gave me a full time job. I accept it with honour, no matter how hard I work. I am glad to have you as family." I replied, offering her tea. She took a sip of the warm liquid and sighed. "I've just received a call from our link in the PLANTs: Chairman Durandall wants to have a meeting with us. He said he wants to meet both the Representative of Orb and the Executive, meaning you, this Friday, at noon." I sighed and looked away. I had my doubts over the ZAFT military force overall. It just seemed odd, after two years, that we could be allies with the PLANTs... after all, it's only been two years since the Bloody Valentine and deep inside my heart, I wasn't sure I was ready to completely trust them yet with both of my hands.
"Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, I know we have great relations with the PLANTs, but isn't this going... a bit too fast?" I asked, unsure of my younger sister's reaction.
"What do you mean? We've been trying so hard to establish a viable communication with the Supreme Council and its Chairman, now you want us to just flush them away? I mean, what's up with you, Kim? Isn't this what you and I wanted?" she asked, incredulous and surprised by my sudden reaction.
"I understand... but I just can't really understand the real motives of this man's actions. For the past two years, his movements were not really revolutionary and were pretty much predictable. I have been there several times, Cagalli. I know what's happening there. They are multiplying their armaments and the loads of Mobile suits. They even have created newly remodelled GINNs and some new divisions in the military." She frowned and looked away.
"How do you know such information?" she asked, curious.
"Cagalli: my fiancé is Commander Yzak Joule. He works under Chairman Durandall almost directly. I would know stuff like that. I know what you are thinking now; he did not divulge vital information on his country. He's not a traitor but he prefers leaving me informed, that's all. He clearly doesn't want any more damage to the fragility of this unsure peace." She nodded understandingly and smiled. "How much time off do you need to get to see him?"
"I don't know. He is currently under mission, so I can't really call him up but we see each other every two or three weeks..." I said, smiling cheaply. She frowned again and shook her head.
"For an engaged couple, you guys are taking one hell of a time actually not being married." I smirked and nudged her hand. "It's not that simple: he's almost always on duty and I am also. For the matter, he doesn't want me near the PLANTs at all. He's the one coming here." Again, she gave me a puzzled look.
"He's scared that I might try to... That I might take a liking into..." I couldn't finish my sentence, my emotions taking over me.
"That you might want to pilot a Mobile suit again? Kim... It's been two years... The Vengeance was taken away from you by Orb, remember? You know I didn't have the last word on this decision. If it was only for me, I'd let you have it again but the truth is... we gave it back to ZAFT. I sent you the report already, three months ago."
"I completely understand." I said, not knowing what to answer her.
"Kim... they had jurisdiction over this one Mobile suit. It's a miracle they didn't find the Freedom. I guess Lacus has her ways... Since the Freedom is technically 'lost' and the Justice that Athrun used to destroy Genesis is in ashes, only the Vengeance was kept and it's the only model of this class left..." I nodded softly and whipped away my tears in a swing. The Vengeance had been the most powerful experience of my life as a pilot and it will always stay the same. "I promised Yzak I wouldn't pilot again. He wants me safe in a tight office, well I'll be damned. He'll have what he wants." I replied, smirking.
"So, what about this whole Chairman Durandall thing, ugh? What do I do with this?" she asked, obviously unsure about her choice.
"I'm simply the Executive, Cagalli. You're the one representing the Orb nation's wishes. If the people wishes us to encounter this gentleman, than... it should be that way. The statistics are in and it's very obvious they want you to meet him." I replied, handing over the paperwork to Cagalli.
"Fine, we'll meet in the PLANTs. That means..." she started.
"Yes, I give you permission to bring your lovely bodyguard along for the ride. Oh by the way, Athrun, I know you've been waiting at the door for several minutes now. You can come in, idiot." I heard someone chuckle and the sliding doors opened to reveal a tall, handsome man. His hair was a bit longer since I last saw him and his green, emerald eyes lit the room... for Cagalli. "Good afternoon, ladies." He said, shaking my hand.
"Okay. Let's put this simple for you, my dear Athrun. I am not your boss and you are not my subordinate. I am your friend and you are a very valuable companion. Don't you ever shake my hand again or I'll seriously have you fired." I said, very serious, taking Athrun Zala by surprise. "By the way, very valuable companion, you really need a haircut." I replied, grabbing my cell phone.
"Yeah, you see? I'm not the only one thinking that way, Athrun. We'll stop at the barber's shop later. The bodyguard of Cagalli Yula Atha needs to look sharp and sexy." Said Cagalli, earning a smirk from her lovely Athrun. I excused myself and left the room. I grabbed my cell phone again as it vibe again my leg, in my pants pocket. I looked on the display screen and Yzak Joule's name appeared. Yzak... You remembered? I opened the bent side of the cell and pressed on the 'talk' button. I waited a couple of seconds, since it was procedure against call retracing and finally answered: "Hello?"
"Damn, I hate it when you don't answer directly! It's irritating... all I want to hear is your voice!" he said, almost whining in anger.
"I miss you too. What are you up to anyway? It's been three days and nothing." I said, pacing back in forth in the corridor.
"My crew and I were sent into space for the tests on the new GINNs. They're really amazing... Oh, sorry Kim. I forgot... Let's talk about something else. What are you doing right now?" he asked, almost immediately changing subjects. I thought about cutting the line but I restrained myself from doing so.
"I was talking with Cagalli and Athrun. Do you know the Orb Representative and the Executive are supposed to visit the PLANTs soon? Like, this Friday? I have a meeting with Chairman Durandall, Yzak. I'm coming to see you." I said, not hearing one word from him. "Yzak, are you still there?"
"Yeah, I hear you. Listen; are you taking a shuttle to get here?" he asked.
"Of course. I wouldn't pilot my lovely ass up there anyway. Why is that?"
"I am almost finished with the testing. I could be done for Friday. I'll come and pick you up at the station, if you don't mind. After all, I am your fiancé. I'll be waiting for your arrival. I... I've got to go. See you Friday, Kim..." he hung up and I closed my cell phone again. I sighed and went into my office again, breaking Cagalli's and Athrun's conversation. "Oh, don't bother yourselves. You can continue." I asked, booting up my computer.
"Kim, we'll be honest; we're worried about you." Said Athrun.
"What do you mean, 'worried about me'? Don't I look fine? I feel fine. What's the matter with you two?" I asked, cheaply grinning.
"It seems like it's not going very well... between you and Yzak." Said Cagalli.
"Of course it doesn't always end up happily but we manage. After all, he's always on mission into space and I am confined to my beautiful mahogany desk, doing paperwork for you, sister, which I am very grateful. We don't have as much time as we like... but that's life."
They looked at each other and frowned sadly.
"How's the... wedding planning going on?" asked Cagalli again. I put my hand on the table loudly and looked at them with an annoyed look. They were pretty sure I was about to throw a fit but I kept my voice down.
"Listen: I am fine. He's fine. It's not in our near future that it's going to happen. We didn't decide the date yet. As I said before, we're too busy to even see each other in person, let alone plan a wedding together. When he and I have time, we'll see. I'll personally make you my maid of honour, Cagalli. I know you always dreamt of it, but you'll have to wait a little bit longer..." I said, almost ripping their heads off.
"Kim, I know what's upsetting you." Said Athrun. "Go on, what's on my mind?" I asked, filling some documents on my computer.
"You can't do something that you absolutely love. Your passion is to pilot a Mobile suit and so is mine. I know how you feel: like a caged animal. It kills you inside knowing that somewhere, your lover can but you can't. It's what we were born to do and it's our main way to dispose of stress and to entertain ourselves. I completely understand you." He said, trying to be nice. I gave him a sharp glare and continued my work. "Athrun, sometimes, I just wish you were my mother." I said, pushing away the dark thoughts and laughing. Cagalli laughed also, leaving Athrun confused. I knew that deep down... he was right. It was inevitable. I was born, as a very unnatural being, to pilot and to test my abilities on the field and I was restrained to do so. I stopped typing for a brief moment but resumed my duty afterwards. "Athrun, are you sure you want to come to the PLANTs with Cagalli and I? I mean, isn't it going to be awkward for you?" I asked, waiting for a reaction that never came.
"I am glad I can finally assist you and Cagalli on the field. I'll protect you from harm, even though I know you're always carrying a gun, Kim. And you're a better shooter than I'll ever be." I blushed by this sudden compliment and looked at Cagalli.
"Well, princess, what now? What's your plan?" I asked her.
"We'll depart Friday morning and aboard my own shuttle up to the PLANTs. We'll just have to find someone to escort us to Chairman Durandall and we'll be all set." She replied, looking at Athrun.
"We'll, I have the solution to your problem. You see, Yzak is coming to pick me up at the station. Maybe he could escort us to the military facility where the meeting is due?" I proposed. I knew Cagalli wasn't very fond of my choice of lover but she nodded softly and told me she trusted my judgment on this. "We're going to be safe with Yzak, don't worry." Said Athrun, backing me up. I looked at the clock and it was time to leave now. Cagalli and Athrun wished me a good evening and I took a break to go home and to finally rest a little.
Driving on the coat line high way, I looked at the sea that sparkled like a gem and wondered how many died in that ocean that caressed the lower boulders. Too many, perhaps. I pressed on the accelerator and stopped looking at the glaring sight of beauty. My house wasn't very far from where I was. It was my own personal retreat, not my city loft. Since Cagalli had refused me into the office tomorrow, why shouldn't I enjoy the view and the sound of the ocean for one comforting night? I turned on the left and rolled up the hill leading to my private house on a hill, view on the ocean, cut from the world and perfect for me... and Yzak, when he has time off.
When I got out of the car, inside the triple door garage, the doors closed automatically and I entered the house through the side door. The house wasn't that big but being enough for some room for two on certain occasions and for one on almost every occasion. The lead porch was enormous, covering every side of the house and had a couple of chairs on the ocean front, once used to my guests, Kira and Lacus and the kids they were babysitting. I opened the patio door and let the salty air fill the rooms of the house. It was soothing and it was the perfect place to rest; reading a book on the porch, watching television on the big ass television in the living room and cooking some tasty meals in the kitchen. I could remember, standing on the edge of a table and kiss Yzak from morning until dawn, being so happy in his presence. Since it was the gift Cagalli had given me for my engagement with Yzak, it has been the place where we spent the most time together, loving each other.
I closed my eyes as I remembered the first time when Yzak and I came back to Earth, after the war, looking for a place to live together, for a short while. Cagalli, newly admitted as Orb's Representative, had given us this gift as a welcoming gift, too. Yzak, released from the military for a certain period of time, had kept his belongings here and it really felt like home. I could still smell the scent of his cologne in the air, his musky scent thrilling my nostrils. I gripped my hands on the table's edge and grunted with anger. Why the hell can't you be here with me more? I thought you could! I immediately told myself that thinking that way wouldn't bring him back here with me, under the fresh sheets of our king size bed. The sun was rapidly setting down and I had put on my pyjamas and opened the television on the news channel. The woman speaking was very pretty with bleach blond hair and big blue eyes. "We've just learned from Cagalli's representative that both Representative Yula Atha and Executive Desjardins will be attending a meeting with ZAFT's Chairman Gilbert Durandall for a matter of protection of the peace between the PLANTs and the country of Orb... We hope this meeting will be successful and that our Executive and Representative will come with peace in hands on the day of their return, meaning this Sunday..."
I frowned and closed the television, throwing my blanket violently on the other end of the room. I decided to go to sleep since I never fumed so much in an evening. I slipped into my bed and I fought with my thoughts for an entire hour trying to push Yzak's face away but my heart kept them right on coming to annoy me. Finally, my barriers cracking down one by one, I grabbed my cell phone and called the only person on heart whose voice would comfort me. I dialled the number and waited for the person to pick up. After a couple of seconds, the communication established and Lacus's voice ringed into my ears.
"Hello?"
"L-Lacus? Is that y-you?" I said, trying to fight the sobs.
"Kim? What's going on? Why are you crying?" There was no fighting Lacus.
"I-I m-miss him."