" I guess this will be the last time that I sit on this bed for a while…" Steve thought to himself out loud as a teardrop fell onto his floorboards. " I'm going to miss being free loader in my single mother's house," Steve whispered as more tears strolled down.

" Steve! Get off your ass and get out of my house!" Steve's mother yelled toward her son.

" Is that the kind of happy birthday you give to everyone you bitch!" Steve asked his mother in an angry disgust.

" Damn it boy, you're 18 fucking years old! It's time for you to make a move in life since you can't push yourself to find a job."

" Fuck you mom! I didn't ask to be born, and I sure as hell didn't ask you to take it up the pussy as apposed to your ass!"

"What. The. Fuck… Just get the hell out of my house!" And with that last outburst Steve's mother put a boot straight into her offsprings asshole and slammed her door shut.

"Fucking cunt bitch," Steve said while dusting himself off from the dirt. Much to his uncomfort he saw an old family friend shuffling their way toward his vicinity.

" Whats wrong, sour sauce?" the old man asked. He was dressed in a chemist's trench coat and wore spectacles like the old guy from that Disney movie about the balloons.

"My fucking mom kicked me out of the house, but don't worry about me Professor Hardwood, I'll be sure to die out in the wilderness." Steve replied with an undertone of a feministic.

"Well we won't have that now, come and follow me honey bunny so we can make sure you have some protection.

Steve followed the old fart to the village library and followed him as he voyaged into the main office. "I used to be a pokemon sociologist/ rapist back in my good ol' days, but every since I molested that little kid back in 78' I was forced to resign from science and I had to take a job running this piece of shit library to keep my sanity! I want you to have a better chance in life than I did," Professor Hardwood announced as he handed Steve a poke ball, "Inside that ball is a little cock, raise it up to be big one so that you can do what I couldn't … which is molest kids and get away with it!"

Although he was baffled by the professor's speech, Steve couldn't help but notice the two other poke balls on the professors table. "Uhh… I know you just gave me this chicken pokemon and all but I noticed that you had two more poke balls on your table. Is there anyway that I could decide between them as to which of the pokemon I want?" Steve asked.

"Well…," the elder explained with sass as he dug his hand into his pants and began thrusting what seemed to be a banana, " I already promised this jigglypuff to another young man who is supposed to be running me an errand in Sulfur City since I'm on thier wanted list. The other is just a magikarp."

"Oh cool a magikarp! Can I have it along with the chicken. Yeah? Kay thanks bye!" Steve shrilled as he grabbed the other poke ball and leapt out the door. "Implosion explosion!" Prof. Hardwood exclaimed as he came to a climax.