I DARE YOU!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this show, except maybe the Random Narrator and Nuriko, as it's me (Reminder: it's a GIRL!). The other girls have their own owners and it's not me...
Once upon a time, the Sanzo-ikkou met four old friends who managed to challenge them into a game of "I Dare You" The winner of the whole game gets to have ANYTHING they wanted and trust me, each of the Saiyuki boys wanted something...
RANDOM NARRATOR: Welcome to the unofficial game show called I Dare You! Before we introduce the characters, let me explain the rules of the game; once you back down from a dare, you will forfeit and lose! The contestants are... The Sanzo-ikkou; Genjo Sanzo, Son Goku, Cho Hakkai and Sha Gojyo!
SANZO-IKKOU: walks onto stage
R.N: They will be versing against the girls who call themselves... The Saiyuki Girls! Shyazo, Nuriko, Gakkai and Aya!
SAIYUKI GIRLS: walks onto stage
SHYAZO: We're so gonna kick your asses!
SANZO: Tch.
R.N: And let the games begin! Sanzo, heads or tails?
SANZO: Huh?
R.N: We're doing a coin toss to see who gets to go first at daring the opposition. So choose... Heads of Tails?
SANZO: Tch fine whatever, Tails.
R.N: flips a coin, which lands on... Congratulations! The Sanzo-ikkou get to go first at daring the Saiyuki Girls!
SAIYUKI GIRLS: Oh man!
GOKU: Yay!
GOJYO: THOUGHTS: I'm so getting one of them in bed with me
HAKKAI: Ahahahahahahaha...
SANZO: Why did I even agreed to this?
R.N: Oh and by the way, no dodgy stuff between the contestants!looks at Gojyo
GOJYO: Dammit... I mean sure whatever...
R.N: So? What are your first dares to the girls? All of you must dare them... And each of them has to go once...
GOKU: Ooh! Lemme go first! Lemme! PLEASE!
R.N: Ok, ok don't wet yourself!
GOKU: Uh... oops... already did... ahahaha...
R.N: The bathroom's just behind here...
GOKU: Thanks! leaves stage
NURIKO: Whew, I bet you anything he was gonna get me, after I stole his pork bun...
R.N: Anyway, who wants to go next then?
HAKKAI: Might as well get it over and done with... I want Gakkai to... wear a dress... and walk around the studio, flirting with men.
GAKKAI: WHAT! HELL NO! You know I hate dresses!
HAKKAI: ignoring Gakkai And she has to wear a pink dress! holds out a very pink dress which was most likely worn in the 1940's And make-up too.
R.N: Where the hell did you get that?
HAKKAI: Holds finger to mouth and winks That is a secret...
GOJYO: This ain't Slayers you know... This is SAI-YU-KI.
HAKKAI: Ahahahaha just thought I might try it for fun...
AYA: But that was scary Hakkai...
R.N: Well the dare's been set out. Gakkai, if you would...
GAKKAI: I'm gonna get you for this Hakkai. Oh you just wait... leaves stage to dressing room
R.N: Well anyway, if Gakkai manages to dress in that... interesting outift and does her dare, she will win the girls a point-
SANZO: What? You never said that!
R.N: Well I just did. If they don't do their dares for a time limit of 15 minutes, they will loose their point. If you didn't know about that, that means you didn't read the contract...
SANZO: Tch.
R.N: Anyway, while we wait for Gakkai to get dress and for Goku to come back, let's take a break!
(Five minutes later...)
R.N: Welcome back to I Dare You! Saiyuki Style! Well, now that Goku's back...
GOKU: Hi guys!
R.N: And Gakkai's now busy flirting with men in her unique gown...
GAKKAI: (reading a paper full of hook-up lines from Gojyo to a random man) If I could re-arrange all the letters in the alphabet, I'd put U N I together... THOUGHTS: I hate this... I'm so gonna kill you... And what cheesy lines!
R.N: Let's get on with the show! Who's next...
GOKU: MEEEEE! snatches microphone from R.N For my dare, I dare Nuriko...
NURIKO: Eek!
GOKU: Since she stole my pork bun... I dare you, Nuriko, to be trapped in a room full of...
NURIKO: (softly) Please don't say frogs, snakes, snails, slugs or ANYTHING slimy... Please, please, please, please, please...
GOKU: In a room full of fluffy cute adorable lil' baby animals!
(EVERYONE EXCEPT GOKU): What?
NURIKO: Is that all?
GAKKAI: No fair! How come she gets an easy one when I get a stink one like this?
RANDOM GUY: Hey, it's my turn...
GAKKAI: ahem Do you have a map? Coz I keep getting lost in your eyes.
GOKU: I wasn't finished! You're not allowed to touch any of them! No matter how adorable they are!
NURIKO: Oh man... But baby animals are sooo cute! I'm sorry! Please don't make me ignore the adorable creatures! I'm sorry for stealing one of your dozens of pork buns!
GOKU: Too late!
R.N: Well the dare's been set. Will Nuriko do it or will she forfeit and loose her point?
NURIKO: Waste a point? Hell no! Bring it on!
She goes into a room and soon it is filled with kittens, puppies, lambs, and many other cute baby animals
R.N: And there she goes! Now, Gakkai's time is up. So one point to the Saiyuki Girls.
GAKKAI: Yes! Too bad Robert! Now to get outta this god-forsaken clothes! runs off into dressing room
NURIKO: Omg! Omg! They're soooooo cute! But I mustn't touch them... No no no no no no... But they're sooo cute! No, only 15 minutes... And... Why'm I talking to myself?
GOKU: You regretting taking my pork bun now?
NURIKO: Gosh, it was only one! And no, I'm not regretting it...
SHYAZO: We're so winning.
AYA: Yeah that's coz compared to what we've got in store for you, this is nothing...
GOJYO: Oh so you think so huh?
R.N: So who's up next?
SANZO: My go then. I dare Shyazo to be strapped down to a board...
SHYAZO: Geez aren't you just the gentleman... gets strapped to a board
SANZO: Oh, this is just to keep you from destroying everything in your path...
SHYAZO: Hmm... I don't like where you're going with this...
SANZO: I dare you to be strapped down to this board and... produces a jar and inside the jar is a HUGE moth
have this moth stay on your nose for however long the time limit is...
SHYAZO: stares at moth as it is put on her nose M...MOTH! AHHHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET-IT-OFF!
R.N: We can't unless you want to forfeit...
SHYAZO: I'll do it! I'll forfeit! Just PLEASE get this moth OFF ME!
R.N: Okay okay... takes moth off Shyazo and unstraps her
SHYAZO: Ahh! Moth! I hate em! I hate em! I hate em! I hate em!
R.N: Well that's a shame, Shyazo because you could've won that point and have a better chance of winning...
NURIKO: (From inside room) You suck Shyazo! You stink!
GOJYO: Hah! "We're so gonna kick your asses!" you say! Bullshit! We're gonna win! At least we're not afraid of moths...
SHYAZO: Shut up aka gokiburi!
GOJYO: What? Why you lil...
R.N: ANYway... who's up next?
GOJYO: Well, it's my turn now... I dare the lovely Aya to... strip.
AYA: What?
GOJYO: Take off your clothes in front of everyone.
R.N: Hey, I said no dodgy stuff...
GOJYO: You said between the contestants. This is nothing. She's doing a dare by herself. No one else invovled.
R.N: Hm... true... Well, Aya? Will you strip or not?
AYA: Well... I...
GAKKAI: Come on, Aya. Just do it and we'll have a better chance of winning! Come on!
NURIKO: Yeah! Come on! Come on! Come on! You can do it!
SHYAZO: holding onto R.N Moths, moths, moths, moths, moths...
AYA: I... I... I can't do it! I'll forfeit!
GAKKAI, NURIKO: No! You two suck!
R.N: Well, looks like they don't earn the point after all. That ends the girls' round...
NURIKO: Is my time up yet?
R.N: Oh yeah. Well, in that case, it's two points to the Saiyuki girls!
NURIKO: YES! PUPPIES! hugs puppies, crushing them
R.N: Let's take a break and when we get back, it's time for the Sanzo-ikkou to carry out the dares done by the Saiyuki Girls!
SAIYUKI GIRLS: YES!
SANZO-IKKOU: lots of grumbling
R.N: Welcome to I Dare You! The show where I found Sanzo in his pink underpants...
SANZO: Hey!
GOKU: AHAHAHAHA!
R.N: And Goku dressed up as a girl!
GOKU: Oi! You said you wouldn't tell!
GOJYO: Shame monkey!
R.N: And Gojyo singing Marry Had a Little Lamb!
GOJYO: I... You... I was forced too!
HAKKAI: Ahahahahaha...
R.N: And Hakkai...
HAKKAI: smiling Don't even think about it, Mr Random Narrator gives R.N scary death glare
R.N: Sweatdrops Ahahahaha okay then... On with the show!
R.N: Who would like to go first, ladies?
SHYAZO: We've come to the conlcusion that...
NURIKO: I'll go first! smirks at Goku
GOKU: Oh shit...
NURIKO: I want Goku to... Wait... did you say you saw Goku dressed up as a girl, Mr Random Narrator?
R.N: Why, yes, yes I did...
GOKU: Oh no...
NURIKO: I want Goku to dress up in that same outfit Gakkai was in before.
GOKU: WHAT!
GAKKAI: Oh my god... Do you know how hard that thing is to walk in?
NURIKO: Not only that, I also want him to flirt with Gojyo and Gojyo's not allowed to do anything about it!
GOKU: WHAT! NO!
R.N: So does that mean you forfeit, Goku?
GOKU: What? No... I mean... Nuriko! You're just doing this as revenge aren't you!
NURIKO: Maybe... So... here you go... holds out dress
GOKU: I... I...
R.N: Well?
SANZO: Come on, you stupid monkey. Win us that point.
GOJYO: Yeah or else I'm gonna kill you!
HAKKAI: Ahahahahahahahahaha
GOKU: I... I can't! I swore to myself I'd never wear a dress again! Never! No! I'm not wearing that! I forfeit!
R.N: Oh, too bad Sanzo-ikkou. You don't earn a point yet. Maybe the next victim... I mean contestant will win you one...
SANZO: smacks Goku over head with "almighty" Harisen
R.N: Well, who is next?
SHYAZO: Me!
GOJYO: We all know who she's gonna choose... After that moth thing and all...
SANZO: THOUGHTS: Oh shit...
SHYAZO: I dare Sanzo to be locked in a room full of... squirms cats...
SANZO: What? You know I'm allergic to them!
SHYAZO: That's the whole point...
SANZO: Tch. Fine... goes into a room full of cats Damn you achoo! Shyazo!
R.N: Well, maybe there is some hope for the Sanzo-ikkou after all. Next up is...
AYA: Me.
GOJYO: THOUGHTS: Oh crap, after that stripping thing, she's definitely gonna do something torturing to me!
HAKKAI: Good luck Gojyo.
GOKU: Win this one for us ero kappa!
GOJYO: Shut up you stupid monkey! Wha- hey!
(Gojyo's wrists and ankles were shackled up and the shackles were connected to two large cinder blocks, both twice his height and five times his weight)
AYA: Gojyo has to pull these cinder blocks all the way to the other end of the studio.
R.N: And as an extra bonus, if he makes it there in 15 minutes, he will be able to go into the room, where the hot super-models are waiting for him.
GOJYO: Super-models? Did you say super-models? Where? Where? Where? Where?
AYA: At the end of the studio.
GOJYO: I'm coming girls! starts walking towards end of studio, pulling cinder blocks with all his might
R.N: Hurry up, Gojyo. You only have 15 minutes... Okay, the last one...
SANZO: Achoo! I hate you... ACHOO! I swear I'm gonna achoo! kill you!
GAKKAI: Anyway, I dare Hakkai to... not smile... to be exactly like Sanzo.
HAKKAI: Pardon me? Is that a trick dare?
GAKKAI: No, that's about it...
SHYAZO: Gakkai you ass. You should've made it harder for him!
GAKKAI: Oh I should've? Can I take back I dare then Mr Random Narrator?
R.N: Unfortunately... No. Well Hakkai? Only for 15 minutes.
HAKKAI: Tch. Shut the fuck up. I've got a hangover and I want some peace and quiet. (he wasn't smiling anymore. he was frowning and that's scary)
GOKU: AHHH! KOWAII!
HAKKAI: I said SHUT UP! smacks Goku over head with Sanzo's "almighty" Harisen
SANZO: Tch. When'd he stole that off me?
GOJYO: Must-keep-going... Super-models-waiting-for-me... Only-5 metres-to-go...
GAKKAI: Man, he's even better than the original thing!
SHYAZO: Yeah... Scary...
AYA: I agree.
NURIKO: Isn't Sanzo's time up yet?
R.N: Why yes it is... Sanzo, you're free to come out now...
SANZO: comes out of room, his nose all red and swollen slightly Diz izznt funny... Ztupid zhow...
R.N: Pardon, Sanzo?
SANZO: sniffs I said, this isn't funny... stupid show...
R.N: Hey, I'm just the host... So the Sanzo-ikkou gets a point! It's now up to Hakkai and Gojyo... Oops! Looks like Gojyo's out of the race!
GOJYO: laying motionless on the ground Too-weak... Need-women...
R.N: It's down to Hakkai! Is he able to frown for another 10 minutes? If he does then Round 1 is a tie!
HAKKAI: Shut up! I said I wanted some peace and quiet!
SANZO: Don't push it Hakkai.
HAKKAI: death glares Sanzo
AYA: Omg he's scary!
SHYAZO: Make him stop!
GAKKAI: Make him smile!
NURIKO: Make him do the hoola!
(EVERYONE EXCEPT NURIKO): stares at Nuriko
NURIKO: What?
R.N: So, will Hakkai be able to pull it off? We'll see...
GAKKAI: I'm so regretting making him do that now... He's scary!
SHYAZO: Anyway... Hey Sanzo, do you really wear pink underpants?
SANZO: Wha...No! I mean...
SHYAZO: So you do?
SANZO: Tch. Urusei...
GOKU: Ahahahahahaha! Sanzo wears pink underpants!
SANZO: Shut up. At least I don't wear a dress... for god-knows what reason...
GOKU: ... I... I had a reason okay!
GOJYO: Stupid monkey. You sure you're not gay?
GOKU: I'm not gay, Nursery Rhymes Boy!
GOJYO: What? Why you lil...
HAKKAI: Shut up you three! I want some PEACE AND QUIET! So SHUT THE FUCK UP!
SANZO,GOJYO,GOKU: o.O
SAIYUKI GIRLS: Is his time up yet?
R.N: Yes...
HAKKAI: breaks into a smile So, how did I go? And I am very sorry for all the harsh words I said to all of you before...
SHYAZO: Understandable Hakkai... Never do that again!
R.N: Well, it seems that Round 1 is a tie! Unfortunately, this is all the time for now. Tune in for Round 2 next time!