The Beginning of Catching Fire movie
I still couldn't believe it was over. It felt like only yesterday Peeta and I had left district 12 for the hunger games. I couldn't believe we won, that the capitol had let us both live. Of course it was for false reasons. The capitol believed that Peeta and I were madly in love and that's why they had allowed us both to live, because the citizens of the capital would hate for us to get torn apart. But I wasn't madly in love with Peeta. I wasn't even really sure what it meant to be in love with someone. I knew what it meant to love someone, but not to be in love with someone. I suppose the closest I ever came to that was Gale. But I know I'm not in love with him either. Ever since the games ended the capitol has not left us alone. They paraded us with cameras at the train station after our arrival in district twelve. We were bombarded with cameras on parcel day, although parcel day made me feel good about winning the games because everyone in our district was rewarded with more food then they could eat. Which is why I haven't been able to tell Peeta the truth. I needed just one moment alone with him but I haven't gotten one since the hunger games themselves. He still works at the bakery so I'll have to wait until after his shift. I'm not sure why he still works there because he has enough money and food for three lifetimes now, but if I had to guess, he probably does it to forget the games. Just like I hunt to forget. Unfortunately Gale hasn't joined me to hunt since I got back, partially because he doesn't want to and partially because he works in the mines now. I don't blame him though after what happened in the games. The only people I've had in my life since the games ended are my Mother, Prim, Haymitch, Peeta and occasionally Hazelle and the kids when I bring them food from my haul. I haven't even talked to Effie or Cinna since parcel day. If I loose Peeta I'm not sure I can stand it. Peeta has been my rock throughout everything since the games started and loosing him would probably kill me, but I can't lie to him anymore. Peeta is probably the most honest guy I know, lying to him would be dishonorable. So I'm going to meet with him tonight after his shift and we'll have a talk. I'm not looking forward to it but it needs to happen, for my sake and for his. I'm waiting on Peeta's porch in the victors village when I see Haymitch leaving his house, his house is right next to Peeta's so he's easy to spot. Haymitch doesn't leave his house if he can help it so he must be really desperate for liquor, which means he's probably sober. Good. That means I can talk to him. I get his attention by yelling his name.
"Haymitch! Haymitch!"
"Hello, sweetheart, how've you been?" Slurs Haymitch. I flinch, he knows how much I detest being called sweetheart, but he does it anyway just to piss me off.
"Fine, I guess, how are you?"
"Just peachy." He spits.
"Haymitch I've decided to tell Peeta about the conversation we had after the games."
"Which one, sweetheart, we've had many."
"The one with the capitol being angry with me about the berries. You know, the whole love thing."
"Any why on Earth would you tell him that."
"Because he deserves the truth."
"He doesn't deserve you ripping his heart out!"
"What do you mean?"
"That boy has been in love with you since day one and now he finally has you. Do you know how hurt he'll be if he finds out it was all a trick?"
"I know he'll be hurt, but, Haymitch, isn't it better that he hurts for a little while versus him hurting for life if I never tell him?"
"How would he hurt if you never told him? If you never told him he would stay madly in love with you and that would be that."
"But it's dishonest."
"A little dishonesty never killed anyone."
"It would kill Peeta. It would kill me."
"Well it seems like you've got this thing all figured out. I've gotta go see Ripper but let me know how it goes? Kay."
"Haymitch!"
"See ya later, sweetheart."
"You suck!"
"I love you too." He says as he staggers off towards the village. I should just get my sheath out and shoot him now, I think to myself. Maybe Haymitch is right, though, maybe I shouldn't tell him. No I definitely should tell him, we both need it, at least I need it. About ten minutes after Haymitch leaves I see my little sister coming down the walk towards our house, she's carrying the little basket she uses to sell her cheese and it's full, which is unusual since the cheese sells like hotcakes in the village. She has a grin plastered on her face but that's typical Prim, she's always happy. She sees me and spouts, "Hey, Katniss, how are you?" she runs over to me and takes a seat on Peeta's steps.
"I'm alright, how are you, little duck?" I say affectionately. "Wonderful, I was walking through the village, I passed the bakery, like I always do, and out of nowhere, Peeta came out and told me to come inside. I did and he handed me this." She opens her basket and reveals six cheese buns, my favorite, and a whole loaf of the raisin nut bread that he gave to me that day in the rain.
"Prim, you shouldn't have accepted this, it's too much!"
"I told him that, but he insisted, he said that he paid for it himself, so it's a gift not a favor."
"Well it's still too much!"
"You know Peeta, he won't take no for an answer. He said he didn't want his Everdeen girls to go hungry. He's a great guy Katniss. But you already know that, I guess, since your in love with him!" she accents the word love like a giddy school girl.
"I wouldn't exactly say that." I say.
"What do you mean? Did you guys have a fight?"
"No it's just. Can you keep a secret Prim?"
"You know I can." She smiled.
"You know how in the hunger games, people will do anything, or say anything to survive?"
"Katniss you didn't."
"What?"
"You lied to Peeta about your feelings for him in the games didn't you?"
"I never lied. I may have bent the truth a little."
"Katniss, how could you do that to him? He's been nothing but nice to you and you lied to him!"
"I had to. It was the only way I could get back to you."
"No it wasn't the only way. But that's not the whole truth is it. The whole truth is that you do have feelings for him, you're just too afraid to admit it."
"Prim!"
"No, I know you Katniss. What you did for him in the arena. You wouldn't have done that if you didn't care about him."
"I do care about him. That's why I haven't told him yet. I'm scared that I'll loose him."
"Maybe you deserve to loose him for what you did."
"Prim?"
"I'm sorry, I love you Katniss. You know I do, but Peeta, if you tell him, you'll break his heart."
"Maybe his heart needs breaking. It's better than him living in the dark isn't it?"
"I don't know. You should think about this. It could have dire consequences."
"Thanks, Prim, but I've already made my decision. I'm telling him tonight."
"Okay. I can't stop you, but if you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm here."
"Alright." I say. "I'll see you at home, okay?"
"Okay, good luck!" she says as she hops off the steps and walks home. It's starting to get late and I know Peeta will be coming home soon. I start to think about what exactly I'm going to say to him when he gets there, but before I even get the chance. He's walking up the walk towards his house. He looks so much healthier than the boy I knew in the arena. His hair is clean and shiny. His clothing is disheveled but not matted and bloody. His eyes are exactly the same though, the same steady beautiful blue of the sky right after a storm, and he looks happy to see me, which makes this so much harder.
"Katniss." He bends down to kiss me. "What a pleasant surprise. What brings you to my porch?" he asks.
"Peeta, I need to talk to you."
"Okay." He says, while sitting down next to me. He's got a look on his face like he's a puppy wagging his tale. "Did you get my gift?" he asks.
"Peeta, this is serious."
"Okay. I've got my serious face on." He frowns dramatically I laugh then say, "No really Peeta. This is serious."
"Okay, I'm being serious, what is it?"
"You know how after the games, everyone assumed we were madly in love because of what happened with the berries?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'm not."
"You're not what."
"Madly in love with you."
"Oh." He said.
"It's not that I don't care about you, I do, that's why I didn't tell you earlier. I was worried that I would loose you. I still am. Peeta, you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just wondering. When exactly did the lying start? Was it before the games when we were on the roof? Or did you wait until we were in the games to stab me in the back?"
"Oh come on Peeta it's not like that. I did what I had to do to survive for us both to survive, to get us both home."
"No, what you did was lie to my face, and I believed you. Why did I believe you?"
"Peeta."
"No, Katniss. Not now." He got up from his porch and went inside. I wanted to go after him, but I knew that he probably needed some time to process. What if he hates me? What if he never speaks to me again? That can't happen. We have the victory tour in a few weeks. If we look like we hate each other on camera, the people in the capitol, heck probably in the districts too, would be really upset. I could care less about the capitol, but if the capitol gets upset, President Snow would probably kill us. Or worse he would kill the people we love. Oh god, what have I done? I basically just signed our death sentence with my stupidity. I should've listened to Prim and Haymitch. Now everything's ruined. I run back to my house on the verge of tears and Prim opens the door with an 'I told you so' look on her face. She smirks at me but when she sees the tears streaming down my face she wraps her arms around me and pulls me inside. I start to sob into her shoulder and my mom asks, "what's wrong?"
"Katniss told Peeta that she lied about loving him in the games."
"Why would you do that?"
"Because I thought it was the right thing to do." I sob.
"It may have been the right thing to do, but it was not the best thing to do." I keep sobbing because I have no other response. I have lost Peeta, possibly forever. I knew this was a risk when I decided to tell him, but somehow it hurts more than I ever imagined it would. I find that I am retreating so far into myself that I don't even notice my Mom and Prim maneuvering me into my pajamas and bed. I cry until I have no tears and the only thing left to do is go to sleep. I awake the next morning to a pleasant surprise. My Mother and Prim have put together a feast. They somehow managed to recreate one of the breakfasts I had in the capital. They made pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs, orange juice and hot chocolate. I have no idea where they got the information or the supplies to make this meal but I don't want to ask I just want to eat. I pile things onto my plate, and as I do I notice a plate of rolls on the table. Rolls that only Peeta could have made, and have to try to choke back a sob. I am unsuccessful and start crying all over again. My Mother and Prim try to comfort me but it just wont work. The only person who can help me hates my guts and there's nothing I can do about it. I try to eat some of my now soggy breakfast and am surprised by the ringing of the doorbell. I, of course, am too much of a mess to get it so my mother volunteers. I hear scuffling in the front hall and then hear my mother say behind me.
"Katniss, there's someone here to see you." and there he is. He looks about as good as I feel right now. He clearly has struggled with the decision to come over here but something one out and now he's here in front of me, barely able to stand.
"Katniss, can we talk?" he asks. I shake my head and he leads me into the living room. "Katniss, about last night, I'm sorry I was so mean to you."
"I understand." I interrupt. "I lied to you and I deserve to never talk to you again."
"That's not what I came here to say."
"Oh, well then." I pause. "What did you come here to say?"
"I came here to say…. I came here to say that I shouldn't have held you to anything that happened in the games. You were just doing what it took to survive and I should have seen that. I guess I thought that maybe you felt the same way that I did. What I'm trying to say is, I want us to be friends."
"Oh." I gasp.
"But only if you're comfortable. I wouldn't want to force you into anything."
"No I want to! I'm glad to."
"Good, me too."
"Good."
"Hey, isn't interesting that I know you would risk your life for me, but I don't know what your favorite color is?"
"Green." I answer. "What's yours?"
"Orange." He answers, "like the sunset." And just like that Peeta Mellark and I went from being enemies to friends just like we had during the games. Although what I didn't know is, we were never really just friends, and we never would be again.