Title: First and Last
Author: Mindy35
Rating: T, mild sexual situation
Disclaimer: Not mine, no money made.
Spoilers: "Countdown", "Knockout", "Rise".
Pairing: Castle/Beckett
Summary: Kate's memory is hazy when it comes three little words.
-x-x-x-
"You didn't."
"I did."
"You so did not."
"I so did."
"Your memory, Ms Beckett, leaves much to be desired." Castle smirked, lifting the sheet that covered her body and beginning to duck his head underneath. "Unlike the rest of you which leaves absolutely nothing to be desired…"
His bed partner slapped a hand over the sheet to stop his seduction. "Don't change the subject. I said it first."
He chuckled, falling back on the pillows. "You must be delusional - probably due to too much sex and not enough sleep."
"I'm not delusional, just right." She stabbed a finger at her bare chest. "I was the first."
"Don't make me laugh," he scoffed, his voice rich with incredulity. "You? Katherine Beckett? She of the chronically suppressed feelings and reticent tongue?"
"What can I say?" she told him with a half-shrug. "The moment got the better of me. I can hardly be blamed under the circumstances."
He rolled onto his side, mirroring her position in the bed, propping a hand under his head just as she had done. "And when was this incredible moment I totally missed out on? What were the circumstances under which you were compelled to tell me–?"
"First," she interjected mulishly. "I told you first."
Castle just smiled at her. "It's not a competition, Kate."
"I can't believe you," she muttered, eyes narrowed. "How can you have forgotten something like this?"
At this, he visibly baulked. "This coming from the woman who purposely pretended to forget my most heartfelt admission of love."
"There were reasons I did that."
"Any that make sense?"
"Well, for one," she said, letting out a sigh, "I didn't want to hold you to a statement obviously made under duress. I assumed that you felt the same after I told you I loved you."
He leaned in, eyes fixed on hers as he impressed upon her what he'd stifled for so long. "I would've loved for you to hold me to it. I was dying for you to hold me to those three little words. Just as I would've held you to them had you uttered them-" he waved a hand, flashed her a grin, "which you did not."
"Which I did," she insisted.
"So when was this exactly?" he asked, mouth curling up in one corner. "When did this supposed admission of love take place?"
She huffed, prompting him as if the answer were completely obvious, "In that refrigerated locker? When we almost froze to death? Remember?"
Castle blinked a few times, clearly perplexed. "Yes, I remember everything. I remember holding you, feeling all the warmth leave your body, watching as the life slowly drained from your face…" His eyes ran over her features, his voice soft and serious. "I remember wanting more than anything to look back and say that we'd become everything we should have to each other. But…I don't recall any mention of the word love."
"Are you sure?"
"Oh, I'm sure."
"But…I was positive," she murmured. "I was so sure I said it. I know I thought it. And I…" she shook her head, her eyes glazed and her brow furrowed, "I remember saying it so clearly."
He ran a hand over her hair, tucked some behind her ear. "You started to say something before you lost consciousness. But trust me, I'd remember those three words coming out of your lovely lips." He leant in to give them a soft kiss. "And I would never have let you run off with another man if I thought for a second you felt that way."
Her eyes refocused as she came out of her reverie. Kate smiled at him, then gave his cheek a little pat. "I'd never let you run off with another man either, Castle."
"Not even Esposito?"
"Especially Esposito. I see the way you admire his biceps."
"It's nothing to the way I admire these biceps," he replied, lifting one slim arm and running a fascinated hand up the underside of it. "These-" he gave the impressive muscle there another light kiss, "are the only biceps I am interested in. From now on, I promise you that."
Kate laughed lightly but looked dubious. "Don't go making promises you can't keep, Castle."
"I'm not," he said, lowering the arm but keeping her hand held loosely in his. "I realized something that day, when we almost died together."
"Twice."
"Twice, exactly. I realized that there are many things in this world I love, not the least of which is my incredible daughter. But-" he paused, looked down, weaving his fingers with hers before meeting her gaze again, "if the last thing I saw in this world was your face, if the last thing I heard was your voice, if the last thing I felt was your hand in mine, then I would die a happy man." He fell silent - then his eyes cut to one side before he revised this statement. "Well…happy-ish. Truthfully, I couldn't believe I was going to die without ever seeing you naked."
"You were not thinking that."
"In the back of my mind…? Standing in front of that bomb…?" He gave a deep nod. "I totally was."
She rolled her eyes but rose from her position on her side, straddling his body and letting the sheet fall away from her head-to-foot nakedness. "Well then…I guess you can die a happy man now." She tilted her tousled head to the side, smiling down at him. "Can't you, Mr Castle?"
"Yes," he mused, hands moving to her hips as he took her in with a deeply contented sigh. "Yes, I can..."
"And I guess it really doesn't matter who said it first," she added, running her palms up his body and leaning into his mouth.
"I guess not," he replied, one hand diving into her hair and pulling her closer. "Although…it was me."
"I half said it!" she protested, yanking back from his kiss.
"Said what?"
"That I love you," she told him crossly.
His brows lifted. "I'm sorry, what now?"
"I love you!" she repeated, her irritated expression defying her words.
Castle put a finger to his ear. "Nope, didn't catch it. One more time?"
Her eyes narrowed, she pulled back her fist and punched him on the shoulder, the dull smack of skin on skin sounding noisily in the quiet bedroom.
"Ow!" Castle grabbed his shoulder, pouting at her. "Violence is never the answer, Katherine. What have I told you about bringing the job home with you? Save that treatment for your suspects..." He paused to rub his reddened flesh, his pout reverting to a small, smug, affectionate smile. "But I love you too. More and more every day. More than you'll probably ever know. So it doesn't matter that it took so long for you to come around, or to admit that you remembered my I love you, or that you loved me too. Just as it doesn't matter that my I love yous currently outnumber your I love yous-"
"Hey," she interrupted, her tone mild, "It's not a competition. But, I tell you what…" She leaned down again, long strands of hair falling either side of her face, grazing his skin as she kissed her way up his body, "let me make it up to you with a little…unspoken communication."
Castle hummed beneath her, waiting patiently until her lips reached his, hovering promisingly above his own as their breath mingled. "That's my favourite kind..." he murmured before pulling her into a deep kiss.
END.