The Baby Files.
Author's Note: "I always thought to myself. What would happen if Dante had to take care of a baby? This would. Inspired by various cartoons, and the classical film 'Two men and a baby'.
~Silver
Chapter 1
Surprise on the doorstep.
It was a cool Saturday morning, all was well in Devil May Cry, no demons were spotted, so Dante could chill and relax, on the negative side, Dante has not that much money, as he has to owe Lady, pay rent, and city damages.
Since the Temen-ni-gru had collapsed, a lot of commotion was in the city limits, everyone whispering what was that thing? Who could've raised it? What is it used for? Is it a new shopping mall?
Dante got sick of hearing about it. It had just dawned him, that he hadn't got his newspaper yet, so he got up from his chair and walked up to his double door. As soon as he opened the door he saw something which shocked him...
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It was a small, petite baby. It looked like a boy since it is wrapped in blue. His eyes glow as they were blue too. He looked innocent. Who could've left him there?
Dante looked at the baby for about a minute and a half. He was skeptical, after all he's been through nothing seems normal anymore.
'It's just a kid! Stop acting so stupid!' That line never really did work for Dante, as he has the brains the size of a peanut. He gently, picked up the basket and took him inside.
'Where do I put him?' Dante asked himself, he scanned the room to look for a suitable place to place a baby. But all seemed to have girl posters, beer, pizza, magazines, Cd's. He sighed and placed him on the cleanest thing in there: on the desk. As soon as he turned his back, the baby started wailing and crying and screaming.
'I knew it! It's a demon!' Dante started saying in his head, he went upstairs to get Ebony and Ivory, he rifled through his things quickly. As soon as he found them, the baby stopped.
'Did it run out of fuel?' Dante asked himself, he kept the guns close to him. As he crept downstairs, he saw a woman, cradling the baby close to her. He smirked, he knew exactly who it was.
"Hey Lady, missed me already?"
"Oh please... who's kid is this? Yours?"
"Are you kidding?! That's a demon!"
"What?"
"It screamed! It totally screamed! Like it wanted to kill me!"
"Dante... it was crying..."
"Are you sure?"
"I'm... sure."
"What was that pause before the 'sure' part.... do you think I'm an idiot?!"
"...What was your first clue?"
"Hate you Lady."
"So who's kid is this?"
"I don't know. Found him on my doorstep."
"Oh..."
"Oh? Oh?! What's the oh for?!" Dante said, flailing his arms around. "You think, it's mine?!"
"No! No, no! Of course not!"
"'Cause I can prove it's not mine!.... Okay I can't... but I swear it's not mine!"
"I believe you."
"Good! Don't scare me like that!"
The baby started to go 'goo-goo-ga-ga' Dante nearly made a hole in the wall as he started.
"What's the devil doing now?!"
"Nothing!" Lady said to him, "And will you stop calling him a 'devil'!"
"Sorry. So who's gonna take care of him?"
With that, Lady had ran out the door. Dante cursed her out of his mind, then he looked at the baby. He knows this is going to be a long day....
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A/N: KK, First Chapter, please review if anything is wrong, if you want more than tell me.
Next Chapter: Play Father.
~Silver