# Ch 1: People Would Always Ask If I Were Pining For Someone

"As I look at her, I feel my pulse quicken. My heart beats a little faster every time her gentle strands of hair brush against my face. And every time I see her smile, it kills me inside 'cuz I know it's not meant for me. But still I smile and feel myself blush. Everyone knows that I love her- except herself."

Staring blankly at Chihaya's face, Taichi was lost in a deep ocean of thoughts. " Ano, Taichi ...", Chihaya started, again stopping to notice Taichi's vacant eyes gazing at her. No response. Now she hit his forehead lightly as if she were knocking a door. Taichi hurried out of his daze. "Yeah, where were we ...". "Nowhere, baka!" Chihaya giggled. "Ne, Taichi, can we get down at the next stop. Pleeeease?" "Why the hell? We're still plenty of stops away from the venue. You're illogical Chihaya!" Taichi pretended to be disgusted.

"I want to see the Tatsuta River!"

"Can't we see it some other day Chihaya?!"

"I'll win my matches if I visit the Tatsuta! It's like good luck. Oh please!" Chihaya made a face.

"No way! You need stamina for your next match, Chihaya!" Taichi preached. "Isn't it Kana-chan?" hoping she would back him up.

Kana-chan smile was mischievously evil. It's preferred that Mashima-bucchou and Chihaya-chan should go. She leaned to Taichi's ears and whispered, "I'll manage the others. Good luck Bucchou!"

Taichi's face suddenly turned red. Everyone giggled except Chihaya. She didn't understand it all.

They got down at the next stoppage. Taichi was showered with thumbs-up signs. Busy with beaming around the Tatsuta, Chihaya didn't notice anything. She grabbed Taichi by the hand and rushed to the banks.

"Chihayafuru Kamiyo mo kikazu Tatsuta-gawa Kara kurenai ni Mizu kukuru to wa."

Taichi whispered, as he felt the cool autumn breeze kiss against his lips. He felt on the top of the world, as if he could achieve anything. Only if . . . .

"If Chihaya were by my side, clasping her warm hands into mine. If we could stay, like this.

Forever."

Unfortunately, all 'ifs' are not meant to really happen. And Taichi knew that. And that's all that he wanted in his life. 'Wanting to be Meijin', that wasn't his true goal. He wanted to be better than HIM. Arata. If Chihaya loved him, Taichi would forego even the title of the President.

But only IF.

"Wouldn't it be great, Taichi, if . . . ", Chihaya's enthusiasm was at peaks.

"If Arata were here, isn't it?" Taichi mumbled, feeling a bit hurt.

"Hmm? You said something?"

"Nothing really. Continue. What would be great?"

"I don't wanna hear it! Damn! Damn everyting!" A voice was squalling inside Taichi's head.

"If we could stay here. Near the Tatsuta. Forever."Chihaya replied. "Just me and you. " She thought,afaint red blush painting her face in fifty shades of red.

Taichi smiled. Kinda glad that she didn't mention Arata. "I'd definitely love it. Every moment I spend with you is heavenly. Chihaya." Taichi thought, picking up a maple leaf and etching a few words on it. "What did you write? Show me!"Chihaya huddled over his shoulders, resulting in Taichi covering it deftly with his hands. "Nah, not showing!" Taichi chuckled mischievously, slowly getting up to let that lone leaf travel afloat on the glistening waters of the Tatsuta.

"Na, Chihaya"

"Umm?"

"Would you rather someone else was here with you?"

"What's up with that now?"

"Jus' askin', you know, nevermind."

Chihaya wandered off in thoughts for a while. "Wait, I'll do that too", she muttered, giving a freeze to her random thoughts," Gimme your pen." She scribbled down some words and followed what Taichi had done.

Taichi didn't even ask what she had written. She grumbled at Taichi's lack of curiosity.

Pouting her face like a puffer fish, she asked, "Aren't you gonna ask what I wrote? Ask me!"

"Fine, fine, what did you write Ayase Chihaya-san?"

"Nuh-uh! Not tellin'-", Chihaya broke into peals of laughter.

"You're still the asinine kid I knew back then, aren't you?"

After floating the leaf, they headed back, looking for a bus. It was getting dark. The twilight tinted the horizon in majestic hues as the sun took its leave from the firmament, escaping into a world of its own. Croquettes in hand, the duo boarded the bus to Nomori Prefecture. Chihaya was yawning heavily and soon began to catch a few 'z's. Taichi smiled at her naive face made sure she was really in a slumber by calling her name a few times. Assured, he blushingly slipped his hand in hers, feeling the warmth of her heart flowing into him as she leaned her weary head on his wide shoulders, and then –

He abruptly noticed something on Chihaya's palm, like backward writings in her own handwriting. "It's the mark of what she wrote on the leaf .Careless Chihaya!" Taichi thought, trying to interpret the words read what she had scrawled.

Her hand could only take the impression of a part of what she had truly written on that leaf.

What he read left him breathless, and trembling with hurt and numbness.

"DAISUKI DAYO, A-"

Taichi's POV

"'I love you, Arata'. Chihaya really loves him. I'm better off dead. What good is my life if I don't get HER love?" He felt the warmth of Chihaya's cheek against his neck and smiled to himself. "If sh- she's happy, wh- what is my despair? What if she doesn't love me, atleast I –"a lone teardrop trickled down his hot cheek, dropping on his shivering hand.

"I love you Chihaya, I really really love you.

I'm sorry."