I'm wild again, beguiled again
A simpering, whimpering child again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I
Remus had never found himself acting so childish before.
All he could do was pout and sulk, as Sirius told him what he had missed wile he was away. The worst of it being that Tonks had a boyfriend. He wasn't sure why that made him so upset- he should be happy for her. He should want to be happy for her. But when he lay in the darkness alone, still awake in the middle of the night, he knew he couldn't ever be happy for her. Not really.
He didn't know why, but he thought he just might love her.
It was ridiculous, of course. Nothing would ever come of it. How could it? She was young and beautiful- he was a werewolf. No, he could never ask for more than friendship, not matter how madly he wanted her.
So he shouldn't have done it. When he went to get a drink in the early hours of the morning, and had found her sitting alone at the kitchen table, he shouldn't have asked if she was ok. If he had just turned around, he wouldn't have seen her tears. He wouldn't have found out that her boyfriend had been cheating on her. He wouldn't have found out that there was still hope, no matter how small.
And she wouldn't have cried on his shoulder. She wouldn't have fallen asleep in his arms. He wouldn't have had a taste of what life could be like. He wouldn't have carried her up to bed, and stayed beside her all night long. He wouldn't have seen her smile when she woke up in his arms.
He wouldn't have acted on impulse. He wouldn't have kissed her.
And she wouldn't have kissed him back.
But he did it anyway. Tonks was bewitching. And he couldn't stay away.