Rated T for mild suggestive themes
It was a normal day in the Uzumaki household. Sakura was out at the hospital, researching new cures, while Naruto had the afternoon off of his hokage duties to do personal training with Konohamaru. Soon into the lesson, the two had decided it was high time for a snack of some sort and had come into the kitchen to relax.
Sakura, who had recently been trying her best to always have food ready for Naruto like an exemplary housewife, had left four rice balls out on the kitchen counter, each one wrapped individually in its own plastic wrap.
Naruto took one bite out of the rice ball before deciding it was safer to stick to ramen. Konohamaru decided it was best to not eat anything at all.
Eventually, after Naruto was fed and rested, a familiar impishness glinted in Konohamaru's eyes.
"Hey, Naruto, check out this new sexy jutsu! I developed it just to challenge you, my forever rival!" Before Naruto could even react, Konohamaru transformed into a lovely woman scantily clad in a string bikini with bodacious curves—curves any woman would be jealous of. "You've never seen this one before!"
Naruto, however, seemed completely unaffected by the seemingly perfect woman before him. He simply stared with a blank face, his arms crossed.
"No, Konohamaru," Naruto said solemnly. Konohamaru's face dropped and he transformed back into a young man.
Sudden fire began to blaze in Naruto's eyes. "That's far too tame! What do you take me for, a mediocrity? Some boring old geezer, just because I'm hokage?"
"More like some boring old married guy," Konohamaru grumbled. Naruto's face shot forward, smashing his forehead up against Konohamaru's.
"Boring? I'll show you boring!" Naruto's arms flew in front of him, and his hands came together in the proper hand sign. "My new, ultimate, super sexy jutsu!"
Smoke exploded from Naruto's body. Konohamaru stepped forward, his eyes wide with anticipation as he wondered at what perfection this new jutsu could possibly be.
But when the smoke disappeared, his grin faded.
"What… what is this?" Konohamaru demanded. Transformed Naruto opened one eye.
"What are you talking about? It's the sexiest jutsu I've ever made!" Naruto said, lifting his head proudly.
Konohamaru shrugged, clearly attempting to come to terms with the new jutsu. "It's just so different from your other ones…"
And so it was. Unlike the many jutsu Naruto had developed in the past, this particular sexy jutsu was a thin woman with a small chest and few curves. She was dressed in pink fluffy lingerie that managed to accentuate her womanly figure, lacking though it may have been. Her blonde hair was neck-length and straight, and bangs on either side of her face were tucked behind her ears into a pink headband. All in all, a very un-voluptuous, rather plain woman.
Naruto chuckled. "Of course it's different than my other ones. I've tweaked it to have the ultimate sexiness, and this is it!"
"But it… it's so tame."
In another poof, Naruto returned to his normal form.
"If you think that, you're crazy."
Konohamaru sighed. "It's your wife, huh. She's desensitized you with her boniness. You seem to have forgotten what true sexiness is all about," he said with a mischievous glint in his eye.
"Hey! Don't insult my wife! She's sexy as they come!"
Konohamaru rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure." Then, with newfound determination, his hands formed the proper hand sign. "We're going to have to up the sexiness of this next one to purify you, Naruto!"
At that moment, the front door burst open.
"I'm home!"
Sakura's voice echoed through the room, ringing in Naruto's ears. His eyes widened. In that instant, everything seemed to move in slow motion. He reached forward and tried to stop Konohamaru, but it was too late.
"Ultimate sexy jutsu!" he screamed. In a puff of smoke he changed from a young boy with unkempt hair to an unclothed woman of full figure and dark, flowing hair. Clueless, Konohamaru smirked and winked, arching his back and stretching forward his leg in a strikingly seductive pose. "How's that?"
The click of the front door shutting rang in Naruto's ears.
"Uh… Kono…" he said. "Come on now, let's be mature! No more of this sexy jutsu stuff!"
The woman-Konohamaru pouted. "Mature? You're the one who told me you had a new super sexy jutsu to blow anything else out of the water! Even if it was lame…" Naruto was holding his hands out in front of himself with a sheepish smile, trying to sign to Konohamaru to shut up.
"Ack! I did not!" he panicked. Konohamaru started to retort but was interrupted by the sounds of cracking knuckles. He froze.
In the doorway to the kitchen stood Sakura. The look in her eyes was nothing short of murderous. In a poof, Konohamaru transformed back into himself, gulped, and jumped behind Naruto.
"A new 'super sexy' jutsu?" she said. She took a step forward.
"Uh… it's not like that, Sakura! Not at all!"
She took another step forward. "What, am I not sexy enough for you? You want a chunky woman with a bulging chest and wide hips? Is that it?"
"Of course not!" Naruto insisted. "You're the most beautiful gir—" Sakura cut him off with a derisive laugh, then turned her cold glare back to him.
"Why do I not believe you?" With her next step, she was a mere few inches away from Naruto. She grabbed his shirt by the collar. Her other hand was a fist clutched at her side. Naruto could almost sense the chakra flowing through it. He looked over Sakura's shoulder at Konohamaru, his eyes begging for help. For a moment, Konohamaru looked just a terrified as Naruto, but then a grin split across his face.
"But Sakura, you don't understand!" Konohamaru yelled. She snapped around to glare at him, still holding Naruto by the collar.
"I don't understand what?"
"Naruto's new sexy jutsu isn't at all like the other ones! She's really plain and boring. I don't even know why he thinks she's sexy, but…"
The anger on Sakura's face immediately dissipated, instead replaced by innocent shock. From behind Sakura's back, Naruto gave Konohamaru a vigorous nod of approval.
"What?" Sakura said.
"It's the truth," Konohamaru said. "He told me he had this new sexy jutsu and I was so excited, but then it wasn't even hot. Just some skinny girl. You think he only likes girls with big boobs and hips, but he obviously doesn't!"
"Hm." Sakura turned back to Naruto, her hands on her hips. "This new sexy jutsu. I want to see it to make sure Konohamaru isn't lying."
"Um… okay…" Naruto hesitantly made the hand signs and once again was transformed into the skinny blond woman dressed in pink lingerie.
When Sakura saw it, she stared in shock for an instant. Then she burst out laughing. It was a low belly laugh, with high, uncontrollable giggles ripping from her throat every second.
"Um… Sakura?" Naruto asked.
"It…" she struggled to say between laughs, "it… it looks just like me!"
At that, Naruto looked down at himself, and realized for the first time that the sexy body he had perfected was actually just Sakura's. In fact, even the lingerie was an exact replica of what she had worn their honeymoon night.
Sheepish, he released the jutsu and stared at Sakura—who was still laughing—with his wide, blue eyes.
"So, does that mean you aren't angry with me?" he asked. Sakura's laughing slowed.
"Not angry with you?" Without warning, a fist came down on his head. He grabbed it and let out a moan. "Of course I'm mad at you! Showing off my body to Konohamaru like that? It's embarrassing!"
Konohamaru blushed and looked away.
"But, then again, it could be worse. You could be turning into Hinata."
Naruto wrinkled his nose. "Hinata? No way! You're way prettier than she is!" Sakura smiled.
"All right, I'll forgive you just this once," she said, tracing her finger tips along his shoulder. "I guess it's not so bad you find me so attractive you'd make a sexy jutsu after me."
"Well," Naruto said, a grin starting on his face, "I'd rather see the real you than a sexy jutsu any day." Sakura smirked right back, and the next instant he lurched forward and kissed her flat on her mouth. She gave a little squeal of surprise before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back passionately.
Konohamaru grimaced and headed to the door. "Ugh, newlyweds. I'm so outta here."
Naruto swept Sakura up off her feet with a laugh, and between laughing, grinning, and kissing, carried her away from the kitchen and into their room, where he slammed the door behind them.