A/N: This story was inspired by the case of Kaitou Kid's Teleportation Magic (Detective Conan files 631-634 and episode 515) and also by an old challenge of ghostanimal's. I own neither the Incredibles nor the works of Gosho Aoyama.
Edna surveyed the ridiculously-clad thief sitting across the table from her. "So this is who my government wants me to design a special outfit for? Infamous international criminal 1412, is it?"
Edna had read a profile she had gained from a bilingual detective on the thief's case. The thief was a Japanese male, had black hair and blue eyes, had type B blood, weighed one hundred twenty pounds, and was five foot eight and a half inches tall. He was a genius with an IQ of four hundred and a variety of talents including hang-gliding, making gadgets, and disguising himself completely. He was trained as a professional magician and evaded capture primarily through use of magic tricks. The detective also mentioned that the police thought the thief to be in his thirties to fifties, but that his own opinion was that the thief was seventeen years old.
What Edna didn't need the detective's information to tell her was what the thief wore. It ticked her off professionally that the thief would wear a bright white formal suit, complete with matching top hat, dress shoes, and monocle over a nearly as noticeable blue shirt and red tie combination to do a task involving sneaking around.
The thief smirked at the designer from what little of his face was visible from under the clover-charmed monocle and the white top hat with the blue ribbon whose brim was pulled down low, assuming it was his face and not a latex mask the thief wore. The thief said with an accent, "Assigning numbers to people is an insult to humanity. I would prefer to be called Kid, if you don't mind, my fair outfitter."
Edna clucked her disapproval. "I don't understand why the feds think that you could be more effective and trustworthy in retrieving Syndrome's technology than the superheroes, even with their powers blocked by that other technology stolen by your rival thief, especially dressed as you are."
"Excuse me?" the thief asked.
Edna informed her client, "Your costume simply will not do at all."
The thief leaned across the table and conjured a rose. "I know my usual clothing does not provide the protection I need on this mission. That is why I'd be honored if you'd make me one specially for retrieving those nasty pieces of machinery, miss."
In what would come to a shock to all familiar with the thief Edna was dealing with, Edna was not charmed by the thief's antics. Edna tossed the rose into the nearest trash disposal and said, "I'm afraid you misunderstand me. You requested that I make your exact costume with more protective fabric. I'm afraid I can't do that; it wouldn't be very professional of me."
A poker face appeared on what was visible of the thief's features. "I was told that you would be the best one to adjust my costume for a new fabric."
"I'm a designer, not a mere seamstress. I cannot ignore the serious flaws in your get-up."
The thief was confused. "What flaws do you see in my suit?"
Edna looked down at her client as best as she could from a stature that was shorter than his. "You are the infamous thief known as Kid the Phantom Thief, or Kaitou Kid. I am very surprised anyone could be as elusive as you are in that blinding white outfit, let alone still alive after wearing the safety hazard known as a cape for that long. If you can't see the flaws in your own suit, then you are clearly not as intelligent as you are made out to be."
Indeed, the thief's – Kid's – outfit was not something Edna approved of for anyone who'd be doing a lot of stealth missions. Although Kid wore white silk gloves to prevent fingerprints, the rest of his outfit was not geared toward being standard robbing attire.
Kid looked more like a magician than a thief, but if Kid had been professionally trained as a magician, maybe he was more of a magician than a thief. The fact remained that his clothing was not geared toward covert operations.
Kid, however, was of a different opinion. "I assure you, this costume has served me well as I've sneaked past security countless times."
"In something that eye-catching?" Edna scoffed. "Never! You couldn't have been in that costume when sneaking."
The thief chuckled. "This suit is what allows me to disappear so easily."
"I'll deal with the color later, kiddo. Just be aware the flashiness has to go, as does that cape of yours. Now, I need you to show me what you like function-wise about that stage costume you're wearing, and I'll put that into a better suit for you."
"Function? I'd have to say I like the color, the cape, and all my hidden pockets for the function."
Edna crossed her arms and glared at Kid. "I can put all the hidden pockets you could use into your new costume, but the color and the cape have to go. You can't afford to be conspicuous in your profession, and that cape is more than likely to get you killed."
Kid gave Edna a look as though to ask if she were serious. "I thought I just explained the reason behind all this white," he said.
"You think it allows you to hide. What? Do you hold all your heists in snowstorms?"
"Not exactly..." said the thief. "I thought..."
"That thing you're wearing attracts the spotlights! It's better suited for the stage than a crime scene."
"I thought the best designers knew a few things about human psychology."
"Yes, and I also know some things about color psychology." Edna frowned at the crook in the government's employ. "White is one color you never want to wear at night if you're trying to stay hidden."
The thief sighed. "I was a magician before I was a thief, so I know things about human psychology too. I know my suit is eye-catching. That's why it's so great."
"Showing off your magic will not help you in this job," Edna reminded him.
"Hey," said Kid, "as a thief, I am more concerned with securing my freedom than keeping a magician's secrets. If I'm forced to choose between my freedom and my magic show, I'll take my freedom any day. Want to hear how the white keeps me free?"
"The sooner I hear your rationale, the sooner I can shoot it down."
Another look of annoyance flashed over Kid's visible features. "We've already established that white draws attention in the environment I work in, yes? It clearly stands out against the black. But when the focus is on my white suit, what happens to anything black? It goes unnoticed against the background more than usual, right? When I divert attention from myself with a flash of light or a cloud of smoke and quickly throw on some black clothing after being spotted in my white suit, security's attention blindness renders me invisible."
"True, but if they see you in your white suit, they'll know someone's breaking in to begin with."
Kid sing-songed, "That's no problem for me!"
` "If it were no problem for this mission, Kid, then why do you need me to make you a protective costume?"
"I see your point," Kid conceded. "I guess one mission wearing a less conspicuous suit wouldn't kill me. Although, if I'm not going in character, I don't see why I couldn't wear protective clothing underneath a disguise as one of the security personnel."
"You'll be going in character." Edna's tone left no room for argument. "My government wants to make it perfectly clear that they weren't the ones who stole it. They don't want the villain to see them coming."
"Jaa, I guess you are designing me a special suit after all. I mean, I don't want super-weapons in that guy's hands."
"Yes, and as your designer, you'll have to trust me. No white. No cape."
An indignant look crossed the phantom thief's face. "NO CAPE?"
"I thought that you, Kid, would understand what a safety hazard it is. After all, your file says that you're known to have come up with quite a few clever gadgets for your line of work, which would imply some experience in a shop. And the first thing you learn when working in a shop is safety. If a cape's loose enough to pose a danger in a shop, then why should you wear it during any other profession where it getting caught is a valid concern?"
Forgetting his gentlemanly manners, Kid yelled, "My cape has saved my life more often than it's endangered it! Besides, I'm not willing to give up the hang-glider that's built into my cape."
"Giving up your cape has nothing to do with giving up your stupid hang-glider! There are other ways to take a hang-glider with you, you know. I am not putting a cape into my work! Good day!" Edna called for security to throw the thief out, but Kid had gotten the message and left before security arrived, not that they could have made him leave if he had really wanted to stay.
Edna spent the rest of the day designing a black suit for the crazy magician thief, with no cape. Kid spent the rest of the day preparing his own hang-glider cape in a fabric to match the color of his new suit that he'd wear just the one time. When Kid got Edna's suit, he put on his own little addition despite the designer's protests.
At last, Edna decided that the ending of Kid's retrieval project would at least rid the world of a thief capable of stealing anything he set his eyes on and give her another horror story about capes to tell her clients in the process. When the time came, she and Kid would learn who was right and who had failed. At least the cape hadn't been part of her design.
Kid went on his mission wearing Edna's suit with his new, black cape. The suit itself was inconspicuous and had the same quality of hidden pockets as though he'd ordered the suit from a tailor specializing in magicians' wear. His cape was also inconspicuous for once, and it functioned the same way as his regular cape with the hidden contraption to turn it into a hang-glider at the push of a button. These items would determine the success of both the retrieval mission and of the outfit.
The American government considered the mission a success because Kid came back with all Syndrome's inventions.
Kid considered the mission a success on that ground too, but he was a little embarrassed by the costuming end. Kid's cape had proven itself to be the hazard Edna Mode said it was by nearly getting him captured by his opponent's security team, and it seldom happened that he nearly got captured.
Edna had mixed feelings about the affair. She was still miffed that Kid had ignored her professional advice and added a cape to his costume. Thus, she felt no guilt at all that Kid's cape had nearly gotten him captured, but she was mortified that Kid's cape had actually saved his life when he jumped off a tall tower in order to escape a sniper. She knew that if her clients ever heard that story, that she would have a harder time talking them out of wearing capes.
Thus ends the story of two conflicting opinions on costumes by professionals. Both were sort of wrong, but both were sort of right.
