Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Gilmore Girls. So don't sue.
Summary: "In the beginning, everything was new and exhilarating...eventually, though, all beginnings come to an end." Set sometime between 7.9 and 7.12. Lorelai drabble, Lorelai/Chris and Lorelai/Luke.
Lorelai slumped down on her couch, alone, ready to spend yet another evening in front of the TV. She thought that Chris had been working a lot lately, and really, it didn't bother her as much as it should, and that was what bothered her. He was her husband, she was his wife, and they were supposed to spend the evenings on the couch in front of the TV together. And they had, in the beginning.
In the beginning, everything was new and exhilarating, yet it was familiar enough that they were both comfortable. Everything seemed sugar coated. In the beginning they could get married in France, because they had those impulses to do something completely exciting and out of the ordinary. It was like, they were teenagers all over again, but this time, they knew which mistakes not to make. And for a while, the beginning was great. Eventually though, all beginnings come to an end.
It was right after they returned home from Paris that the beginning came to a screeching halt. Rory was upset, and to tell the truth so was Lorelai. It was when Chris was moving the furniture in Rory's room around; that Lorelai realized it wasn't just the Gilmore girls anymore. It wasn't her and Rory against the world; it was now her and Rory and Chris against the world, and she didn't really think that this threesome could take on the world. She would never admit that, hell, she had a hard time admitting it to herself, but sometimes she got this sinking feeling in her gut that this wasn't the super team that destiny had wanted to form. And when Chris didn't fit into her Stars Hollow life, her worst suspicions were confirmed. Lorelai became even more unsure that this wasn't how things were supposed to end up.
They grew further and further apart as time went on. The spark and passion that had been there in the beginning faded, and the aftertaste left them both feeling bitter. They lashed out at one another for no particular reason. If Lorelai was hungry, she would pick a fight with Chris about how he makes the bed until they were both so mad, one of them ended up sleeping on the couch. She knew it wasn't going to be rainbows and butterflies, that marriage would be hard work and compromise, but she didn't think marriage was supposed to be this way. She always thought she'd never go to bed angry at her husband, and when that her husband would know her like the back of his palm, and that when he didn't come home she'd stay up pacing and calling him being worried about him. Her marriage wasn't any of those things, she'd gone to bed upset many nights, Chris didn't pay attention to her enough to know about the little things, and she had never waited up for Chris when he came home late from work. And that realization hit Lorelai like a ton of bricks.
She suspected he had been driving a wedge between them so he wouldn't get hurt. She knew he was jealous of Luke. She brushed it off, telling him he was being ridiculous, even though, deep down in her heart, she knew she was lying. He was right, she had built a life around Luke, because Luke was it. He was the guy she was going to wake up to every morning for the rest of her life. She never pictured that it would be Chris gently shaking her awake at 6:00 in the morning. She never pictured Chris' kid living in Rory's room; she pictured Luke adding on a nursery for the new baby. And she had always pictured Luke being the one she walked down the aisle to, the one she promised to love forever, the one who slipped the ring onto her hand. Hell, she had kept her wedding dress, just incase those pictures ever came true.
Remembering the wedding dress, Lorelai flew upstairs, digging to the back corner of the closet and pulled out the beautiful creation. Once again, Lorelai looked at it with awe, and ran her fingers over the beading in reverence. In that moment, she decided while it might not be good for her mental health, she would try it on again, anyway. She stripped of her pajamas, and while the cold air bit at her skin, she slowly and carefully let the silk slide over her body and envelope her in its smoothness. She runs her hands over the dress and tears sting the corners of her eyes.
Two hours later Christopher comes home to find Lorelai sitting on the bed in her wedding dress, silently crying. He thinks it is because she wants to wear this dress to her mother's party, that she really wants a wedding but is to stubborn to admit it. In fact, Lorelai is thinking exactly the opposite, wondering if this is it, if she'll never get a new beginning.