Kinda rusty but please give me mercy. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW AND THEN I WILL UPDATE WITH CHAPTER 2. (: Thanks. 3

I awoke to my three alarm clocks playing at once since it seemed that I could never wake up to just one. I threw my thin sheets up and over my legs as I crawled out my loving bed. It was Wednesday, four thirty in the morning. I was tired, delusional, and just worn out from the day before.

I dressed in my skinnies and a 3-qauter-length green shirt, throwing my gray jacket over it. As I was doing my hair, my mother came in. She had recently found out that I cut my hair but was too blind to see I dyed it as well. As I was finishing some of the touches on my hair, she just stared.

"Do you need to use the bathroom?" I asked her, a piece of my bang in my mouth as I tried to keep it separated from another piece I was working on.

"When were you going to tell me you had a boyfriend?"

… CRAP.

Before I continue on, let me just put down the basics. My mother doesn't let me date which I see is unfair as I am fifteen, still in school getting straight A's and B's, and doing my regular chores around the house. I've been dating the love of my life, Kenneth, for almost three months now without her knowing and I have just gotten caught.

"Never," I simply reply with. "Because I knew you would freak out like this the moment I did."

"That still didn't give you a reason to go behind my back and do it! I guess I have to go back to being the bitch I was in the old house now isn't I? I've been quiet far too long!" And with that she's gone.

I finish my hair and get a call from her on my cell phone.

"I'm outside in the car; hurry the fuck up because I have to go the back way to work and I'm not waiting for your sorry ass."

She hangs up as a few tears threaten to run down my cheeks but I just wait until I can get away from her. I grab my backpack and sling it over one shoulder as I take the phone from the bathroom counter and head outside.

In the car, all is silent. My mom is driving with one hand like she's been doing for months ever since she's met her boyfriend.

I never really did understand why she did that. She's on the phone with her boyfriend while he's sleeping. Does she like to hear his damn snoring all the time? It seems like that's all he does on the phone.

I put my earphones in just as she tells me to wake my brother up. In a few minutes, we swerve a corner so that she can drop me off at my cousin's.

"Bye mommy." I say almost silently as I close the car door. She drives away almost instantly as I walk up the six flights of stairs to the third floor of my cousin's apartment/condo.

Tears are shedding down my cheeks now and my vision is blurred as I knock on his door. He answers after the third knock and sees me. I walk in, heading straight to the kitchen to put my bag down as he follows after and wraps me in his arms.

"Lyn, what happened?" Adam asked, his voice filled with concern.

"I hate my mom. She can die and go to hell already." I muffled into his shirt.

It hit five fifty, the time we were supposed to leave to catch the bus, to finish telling Adam what had happened.

At the bus stop, he looked dead at me in the face. "Just relax Lyn. You'll be out of there sooner or later; it's just a matter of time now."

I shrug in response. I didn't care anymore; my life couldn't possibly get worse than it was now.

And before I could reply, the bus pulled up. I smiled at the thought of being able to leave my life behind and go to my school that's an hour away.

I got on the bus and saw my best friend already sitting in our seat. I smiled weakly as I saw her and scooted in to sit next to the window.

"What happened?" Jen asked as soon as I turned toward her.

"Are my eyes still that puffy?" I asked, touching underneath them. I frowned as she nodded and made me repeat my morning to her.

"Wow. Just try to forget about it." I nodded just as her ex-boyfriend Jason came on the bus and took the seat next to us. She put her right earphone in and raised the volume on her iPod as she stared directly at me.

"Things are still pretty bad with him, huh?"

"Even worse. I want to kill him. He was talking to Jeremy yesterday while he was walking me to the bus."

I fake-shuddered and made a face at Jason. He didn't see only because he was staring out his window.

I sighed and looked at Jen. "Can we put both earphones in today?" I asked, reaching for my phone so I could play my music.

She nodded and the long bus ride to school began.

I gagged as Jen and I walked to the back of building twenty-six, the building we always went to for some odd reason.

"The Stench filled the whole bus this time!" Jen complained, fixing her shirt.

I nodded, looping my right arm through her left. "Suicidal flies go near her just to drop dead and end life." I said.

Jen gave me a look and we chuckled a bit before heading to the back. A few minutes after we arrived, Kenneth came by. I smiled at him and he smiled back, Jen making a face as she crossed her arms over her chest and waited for her boyfriend Jeremy.

After messing around a few more minutes, Jeremy came to the rescue and took Jen from me. Now that I was by myself, I went walking around the patch of grass behind the building that we hung out at. Kenneth followed me and at one point we stopped. I turned to face him, placing my hands in my pockets of my sweater as he did the same.

"You know, being depressed isn't going to get you anywhere." He muttered, staring intently at me as I glanced everywhere else but his green eyes.

"Evelyn you can't let it affect you this way. You need to push it to the back of your mind and be happy. No one likes seeing you upset and if you smile, everyone smiles. It's a train reaction and I'm a pro at this. You at least would have to be one of the people to know this."

He reached out and I placed my hand in his as he pulled me close. I put my hands in his sweater pockets and we gripped onto each other like there was no tomorrow.

"I know. It's just hard to be happy. The only time I can truly show that emotion is whenever I'm with you so I use depression to get through my day until I see you again." I replied quietly, my voice descending as I got towards the end of my statement. He nodded and used his right hand to run his fingers through my hair, pushing my bangs back.

I stepped back and put them forward again.

"Why'd you do that? You look pretty with your hair back." He muttered, bringing me close again.

"I don't like my forehead. I haven't even worn my bangs back once this year."

He pushed my bangs back again and shrugged. "I see nothing wrong with it. Just look at mine." He did the same motion to his own hair and I looked down.

His right hand met my neck and I was filled with a chilling sensation that I found oddly attractive. I smiled weakly and did a 'thumbs up' motion to make him less serious. He chuckled and then tilted my head back as he planted a long, sweet kiss upon my lips.

My fingers curled around his and he pulled back.

"I love you." He whispered, almost shaking.

I smiled and moved closer so that our chests were touching. I looked up deeply into his eyes. "I love you too." I murmured as the bell for first period sounded.

I rolled my eyes as Kenneth took my hand and walked back towards the building.

Now was the worst time of my life. Everyone thought I was depressed over what my mom had said to me but actually, I didn't give a damn. What had me like this was the fact that I had to tell Kenneth something that would kill the both of us.

"I can't believe I'm gonna do this." I whispered walking to third period.

Third period was my computer class which I just so happened to have with Kenneth. I frowned as tears rimmed my eyes.

I got to the door and saw Chris there already.

"Hey Boricua!" He said to me. I faintly smiled and replied with "Hey Cubano!"

That was something we always did for a reason, I don't know what.

When we sat down and got our things together, he told me to get on Yahoo so we could chat.

I honestly didn't see the point when we sat next to each other but it was easier for me like this anyways. And I did find it kind of cute and sweet.

I looked over at him and smiled faintly before turning back to my computer screen and signing in to Yahoo.

"You know I love you right? And that we're human and we all make mistakes?" I sent him the I.M. before he could type anything else.

He responded with "yea why?" and I took a deep breath.

"I did something bad. And I don't want to break up with you or anything but I don't know how you'll take it and I'm hoping you can forgive and forget." I pressed send and went to play a game.

I looked over at him and his eyes met mine with such fear that I wanted to cry.

"depends.. wat did u do?" He sent back.

My heart was beating at a million miles per hour and I wanted to scream and the top of my lungs and rip my hair out.

Instead, I calmly wiped my hands on my pants and began typing again.

"I kissed another guy. He's someone I know and we were hanging out yesterday and he just kissed me. Twice."

I turned to see his expression. Anger and almost something that looked like hate flashed through his eyes. I cringed, pursing my lips as I waited for him to say something.

But just then, his face changed. He looked tired, worn-out and very, very sad. It killed me inside. I felt like I had a glass heart filled with red liquid that burst inside of me.

I wanted to take it all back but it was already too late.

"wat kind of kiss and why" He continued his game and didn't bother looking at me.

I wiped a tear away and went back to typing.

"Lip locking. No tongue involved but it wasn't just a peck either. No reason."

…

"Wait, there was a reason. He wanted his shoes back and something for giving me a ride home. /:"

I shouldn't have said that.

I could just imagine what Kenneth was thinking and then… he typed it.

"wat the fuck! That's not a fcking reason.. just… give me a few mins to breathe.."

I nodded and replied "okie."

I knew I shouldn't have done it. I didn't want to keep the secret inside of me but I didn't want this to happen either. Now he's going to break up with me, I'm going to go back into depression and.. and..

What did I do?