Ashes To Ashes Chapter 1 :
Fly me to the Moon
Hello everyone !
I'm MaxFR68 ( but you can call me Max) and this my first story. I'm kinda new to the fanfiction writing world but I hope you will find my story good ( bad is fine enough if you leave reviews, it will help me to improve my writing ).
Disclaimer : I hereby state that I DO NOT own the Inheritance Cycle or any of its characters ( It is the property of Christopher Paolini ) but I do own my OCs.
And now that the legal mumbo jumbo has been taken care of,
On with the story !
PS : thoughts, computer script and computerized voices will be in italic
Maxime "Max" Lachance was your average nerdy teenager. He was no muscleman, French, a little bit overweight and lazy but he's got a curious mind, he always wanted to explore the world to discover new cultures, new people. His life was also flat, always the same routine..
This, however, would change as, one day, he was struck down by a car driven by robbers who just attacked his hometown bank...
* * ( Bandits Pov, 10 mins before the car accident ) * *
Hoxton was walking in the direction of the bank with his partners in crime Chains and Wolf.
He left them at the front of the bank while he was getting a thermal drill that was stashed 2 days ago in a pickup truck by his contact, Baine. With that done, he rapidly jammed the backdoor camera with a small ECM jammer and skillfully picked the lock. He then radioed his partners and ordered them to put their plan in motion. Wolf stayed outside to watch out for any incoming passerby who might call the police while Chains ordered everyone in the bank to get down on the ground. Seeing that everything was in the green, Hoxton opened the bag that was containing the thermal drill and quickly got it to work.
Everything was fine until the brutal opening of the vault door triggered an alarm. Upon hearing this, Hoxton, knowing that the cops would be here fast, decided to call their getaway car...
* * ( Max's Pov ) * *
Max was calmly walking down the street to get to the local bookstore. The new book of his favorite fantasy saga was out ! He was in such a state of joy that he forgot the elemental safeties precautions about crossing a road : ALWAYS watch out for any incoming cars...
This "simple" mistake would have great consequences for him...
As he was in the middle of the road he didn't notice the massive monster truck that was heading for the local bank at a high speed. When he heard the screeching of the monster truck tires trying to avoid him, it was too late...
Max's eyes couldn't believe what they saw as a massive monster truck was heading right for him. He couldn't avoid the metallic beast as ot was already too close to him.
When the car impacted him, he was sent flying in the air. As he was flying through the air, he could only think one thing : Shit happens...
He could have survived the fall. However, his "luck" (AN : Max's family name means "lucky" in french) didn't "save" him this time as he landed head first on the cold, hard road, breaking his neck and killing him instantly.
As he was losing his blood in larges quantities on the road, the book that he bought was lying next to him, wide open. You could easily read the first sentence : It is time for our hero to begin his journey. He will encounter hardships and joy, friends and foes and will either have the power to save this world or destroy it...
Max's computer was sitting on his desk. It was in power save mode and a small green light was blinking from the side of the monitor when, all of a sudden, the screen came to life. The green light stopped blinking and was immediately replaced by a rapidly flashing red light.
You could see a terminal window coming up and commands appearing on it.
Checking local news database...
Warning ! Entry containing researched keywords appeared !
Beginning connection bouncing...Done
Establishing connection to local police public server...Done
Accessing Admin mode...Done
Searching for Coroner files...Done
Warning ! Researched entry found ! Target Status confirmed !
Sending mail at requested address...Done
Erasing connection logs…Done
His family was devastated by this sudden loss. How could he be gone like that ? He was always there for them, making jokes and cheering them up when times were hard...
As they were mourning him, the family computer started booting up and a mail arrived on the desktop with a happy "You got Mail !" message...
It has been sent by Max's dead man script.
This mail was containing his last will :
To my family :
If you are receiving this e-mail, that means that I'm dead. Don't be sad ! I don't want you to be !
Instead, listen to this, it'll cheer you up ;) (AN : The life of bryan, Always look on the bright side of life)
What will follow is my last will :
To my father I give my entire collection of entire "Bikes'n'Babes" magazines.
To my mother I give my entire collection of Computer How To's for Dummies ( since she doesn't even know how to make a SIMPLE copy-paste ;)
To my sister I give my computer along with my PSP Go ( since it's unsellable )
And lastly, I want that my ashes are sent into space to drift into the universe since I always wanted to go to space ( alive preferably but now that I'm dead... )
P.S. : Hey sis, I was kidding about the part where I gave you my computer ;)
Your favorite jokester/son/brother,
Maxime Lachance
Upon reading this ( and after laughing a great deal because of his jokes ) they unanimously agreed to grant him his last will. They all traveled to Florida to Eternium Space Co. office to proceed with his last will.
* * ( Cape Canaveral, Eternium Space Co. control room ) * *
Max's family members all stood proudly, awaiting for the engineers to finish the launch preparations.
When everything was ready, the company's A.I., L.A.R.A. (Locate Assist Research Activate) , started the countdown with her deep voice (AN: Much like GlaDOS's voice) :
"All systems check.
Shuttle is ready to launch.
Beginning final countdown.
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
Launch Initiated
Alert !
Foreign code detected !
Suddenly, a song started playing through the room speakers : it was Fly me to the Moon by Frank Sinatra and it was Max's dead man script last instruction...
As the engineers rushed to their consoles to stop it, Max's father told them to let the song play because it was reminding him of the good old days with his son when he was still making jokes and cheering them up. He muttered one last prayer to his beloved son : Good luck son. We'll never forget you.
All systems green. Structural integrity of the shuttle is holding steady.
Then, all of a sudden, alarms began to blare and control panels started showing errors
Warning !
Unscheduled solar flare detected !
Module course is being modified !
Course of action advised ?
The engineer in charge of assissting L.A.R.A. was pissed. He wanted to get get home quickly and didn't want to spend hours trying to correct the course of one of these loonies' ashes. He didn't understand why people would do this instead of getting a proper burial...
-Estimated new trajectory if course correction is not applied ?
-Unknown
-Huh... Resume launch. Operation successful. Acknowledge command and Mission status.
-Acknowledged
And thus Max's ashes began to drift in outer space, heading for an unknown location, the song still playing in the module speakers...
What nobody knew was where they would land, changing the destiny of an entire world …
END OF CHAPTER 1
So, what do you think of this rewritten version of Chapter 1 ? Was the song fitting ? What did you think of L.A.R.A. ?
Also, did anyone spot the references that I made to various video games ( the bank and the script ) ?
I'm apologizing once again for not uploading a new chapter but with school work that was all I could afford right now but hey, you get a new character that i will (probably) be using for the future plot and a better chapter 1 !
On a better note, I've seen on my story stats that there has been 460 Views ! I cannot thank you enough for your support. When I first had the idea for this story I kept repeating myself that it wouldn't work, that people wouldn't like it but you've proved me otherwise !
If someone wants to beta read they can contact me via PM.
That's all for now folks !