Title: Help, the Journal
Author: Haruka xHaruka17xa...
Disclaimer: I don't own GW.
Pairing: 2x3, 1+3
Rating: NC-17
Warning: AU, OOC, violence, rape, angst, sap
Notes: Please R&R. Hope you enjoy.
Trowa sat in his and Duo's dorm room, by the window. Duo wasn't home, so he took the opportunity to write in his journal.
'...I dropped his shirt last night after the laundry because I barely could walk and Duo hit me, hard. If I cry, it's only worse. I don't understand why he acts like this or why. He's not home, he's out drinking, I think. I have tears now, falling down my face. I want Heero. I'm so scared. But I'm terrified of Duo finding out about us then he would kill me for sure. I love Heero so much, but I don't feel worthy of him. Here he is this wonderful man, taking care of me when Duo's gone, and I just this helpless little whore like Duo said I was... I can't go to class tomorrow. He hurt me too badly last night and a little this morning. I can't walk. I'm tired of not being able to go to class because I'm either bruised, bloodied or I can't move, because he's beaten me so badly or forced me to have sex. I have to go, someone is at the door'
Trowa closed the book, just as Heero walked slowly through the door.
"Hi" Heero said.
"Hi" Trowa replied, trying unsuccessfully to get up. Heero rushed to him, to help him up.
"Is he here?" Heero asked quietly.
"No" Trowa answered, putting one arm around Heero's shoulders.
"Trowa stop struggling, where do you want to go?" Heero asked. Trowa looked up at him.
"I wanna go to sleep, Heero" He said, almost desperately. Heero nodded, caressing Trowa's bruised cheek.
Heero gently picked him up in his arms. Trowa rested his head on his shoulder, as his hand clung onto Heero's shirt, in a tight little fist.
Trowa stared at Heero, as he carefully and gently carried him to the bed./If only.../He thought.
Heero sat Trowa down on the bed, helping him lay down, and tucking him in. He then sat on the bed. "Will you be ok? I worry about you Trowa" Heero's smooth deep voice said. Trowa loved his voice; in fact, he loved him. He loved the valedictorian of their attending college. And then there was Duo he had to worry about. If Duo found out about him and Heero he would most likely beat him to death.
Heero brushed his hand through Trowa's hair, loving the feel. "Trowa..." He started. Trowa's sad eyes looked up at him. Heero bent down and passionately but gently kissed him. "I'm so worried about you. You can't even walk koi" Heero said, voice full of concern.
"Hold me?" Trowa asked him pleadingly. Heero helped him sit up and sat behind him, his back against many pillows, cradling and holding Trowa in his arms, for him to fall asleep.
They did this often. It helped Trowa sleep and Heero just wanted to hold him safely in his arms. He would come every night when Duo was out and hold Trowa, till he fell asleep. But if Trowa was badly hurt or had flesh wounds, he would clean them up and bandage them.
Heero loved Trowa. He wasn't sure what to do about Duo. Every time he suggested for Trowa to leave him for good, Trowa was to scared he would never see Heero again, because of Duo's violent temper. Trowa had been with Duo for two years, he was sure at some point they had a good and loving relationship but he knew that it was long over and he was scared at night when he heard Trowa scream and cry that it would be the last time he would ever hear his angel.
Trowa loved Heero. He knew Heero loved him but he didn't know why. He thought he was too dirty for Heero after all of Duo's sexual assaults and abuse. He also believe Duo when he would call him a whore and that no one else would ever love him, but Heero did and Trowa wanted desperately to know why he did and for Heero to know how much he meant to him. But he couldn't do the one thing Heero would ask him Â… to leave Duo. Duo would surely kill him then, especially if he found out why. But what scared him more then Duo, was that Heero would get fed up waiting and leave him.
Now Trowa was falling asleep, crying at the nightmares of loosing Heero awaiting him as he clung on to Heero for dear life it self. Heero wrapped his arms around him tighter. "I'm here" He said softly, trying to calm the silently crying Trowa. He didn't know why Trowa was crying; he just wanted to take those tears away forever.
Trowa had stopped crying a half an hour ago and was now sound asleep.
Heero looked at the time. Duo would be home any minute; he had to leave. He carefully untangled himself from Trowa. He tucked him in and then lightly kissed his forehead. He watched Trowa sleep for a few moments, then left.
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Heero had just entered his own dorm room when he heard Duo coming up the stairs. Trowa's inconsiderate roommate sounded unabashedly drunk. He shook his head and closed his bedroom door, shutting his eyes tightly. /Please don't hurt him/ He thought. He made his way to his bed, undressed and tried settling down to sleep.
He hated this. He remembered about four months ago when Quatre, the boy in the dorm room next to him, had interfered. It had only made it worse for Trowa. After he had somewhat recovered and was able to speak again, he had made Heero promise never to do that. Heero had promised.
Now, he lay in bed, waiting...
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Duo wobbly made his way into the dorm room, then drowsily made his way into the bedroom, and found a sleeping Trowa. He eyed him hungrily and started to pull the covers from him, revealing Trowa, who was clad in sweat pants and a white T-shirt.
"Why the fuck are you wearing clothes? You know I don't want you to sleep in clothes!" Duo barked in a drunken slur. He grabbed a hold of one of Trowa's ankles and harshly and violently turned him on his back, got on the bed and started to ripe Trowa's clothes off.
Trowa's eyes snapped open, staring up at Duo in fear.
"No clothes!" Duo snarled, slapping Trowa.
"I was cold..." Trowa murmured, putting his arms over his face, to protect himself from anymore blows.
"Cold! I'll show you cold!" Duo barked, breath stained with heavy alcohol. He grabbed Trowa, who was only in his T-shirt and shocks, and threw him as hard as he could against the wall, knocking over a lamp along with other things as Trowa's back connected to the wall, then quickly fell to the floor.
Trowa started to cry as Duo repeatedly hit him. He decided to hit him back, but failed, it only made Duo angrier.
"Hm, fighting back huh!" Duo yelled.
He grabbed Trowa and bent him over the edge of the bed; knees on the floor and his hands held back with one hand while the other, Duo unbuttoned his own jeans.
"Duo please! No! Please!" Trowa cried and pleaded, but Duo didn't hear a word.
He slammed into Trowa to the hilt, making him scream for dear life at the top of his lungs, in pain.
This went on for a few minutes, till Duo was done. He then threw Trowa in an ice cold shower and left him there.
Duo went to the living room, drank more while sitting on the sofa, hearing Trowa cry.
"Shut up!" Duo barked and swallowed another beer down.
Trowa cried in the shower on the floor, curled up against the far wall, shivering.
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Heero was hearing Trowa cry and whimper. He had heard everything. He wasn't sure what had happen exactly, but Trowa had been beaten again and was hurt. He quickly got out of bed and made his way across the hall and slipped inside Trowa's and Duo's dorm room. He found Duo snoring soundly on the sofa, and heard the shower running and muffled sobs.
Heero found Trowa shaking and crying in the ice cold shower.
"Trowa!" He yelped, taking in Trowa's state.
He had blood from his mouth and on his legs, from his anal. Heero grabbed a large towel and wrapped Trowa in it, while turning off the shower. He carefully picked the fragile boy in his arms, which gladly clung onto him, as Heero carried him to his room.
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Heero gently laid Trowa down on his bed. He wrapped Trowa in several more huge blankets, after he was done drying and cleaning him. He then wrapped his arms around him.
"H-Heero, Duo will be mad if I'm not there when he wakes up..."Trowa murmured, moving closer to Heero's warmth.
"Don't worry about it, go to sleep now" Heero said, caressing Trowa's hair.
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Duo woke up in the early morning as the sun shined on his face. He grouchily turned over. Then something caught his eyes. Trowa's journalÂ… right there on the coffee table. Trowa would always hide it so Duo wouldn't find it, but now, there it was.
He snatched it, and began reading from page one.
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Duo walked into their bedroom, finding Trowa sound asleep.
"Heero, hn?" Duo angrily murmured. "Ok"
Duo grabbed cloths and made his way to the shower, then went to class.
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Trowa woke up. Looking at the clock it was a little past noon. He looked around to find himself in his and Duo's bedroom.
/I thought...Where's Heero?/ Trowa thought confused.
He was freezing, but he had to get up. He wanted to take a 'hot' shower and dress in sweats and then grabbing something to eat in the kitchen.
Now he was making his way to the living room, only to stop in utter fear. His Journal was out and opened!
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Duo and Heero had the same class of the day. Heero was writing down the notes on the board, when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to find Duo giving him a piece of paper.
He eyed him and the note suspiciously before taking it.
He took it and Duo returned to his seat. Heero read the note.
'You 'love' my bitch? Well hope you love him dead'
Heero quickly turned around and looked at Duo, who smiled and winked at him, just as the bell rang.
"Mr. Yuy, would you please stay, we have to go over your speech for graduation" The professor said, blocking Heero from the exit, as Heero watched with utter fear, as Duo left the room.
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Trowa was now making tea, trying to forget about the journal but he knew Duo had found it, and...
"Heero, hn?" He heard Duo say mockingly, he swirled around.
"Duo..." He whispered, Duo was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed, sporting a death glare.
"You love Heero. Heero Yuy the valedictorian, mister perfect. You actually think he would love a whore like you?!!" Duo asked, menacingly advancing on Trowa, making him back up in the corner.
"Yes" Came Trowa's tiny, frightened answer.
"Oh really?" Trowa slightly nodded. "Well, lets see how much he will love you dead!" Duo said, grabbing and throwing the boiling hot teapot water on him, making Trowa screaming at the burning pain.
Duo took a knife to Trowa, cutting and slashing and stabbing. He kicked, punched and shook Trowa.
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Heero ran as fast as he could, to Trowa's dorm room. He burst threw the door, only to stop in his tracks.
Trowa laid on the floor, cross style, arms laid outwards, legs together, completely nude. Covered in blood and dark marks.
Heero had tears running furiously down his face. "Trowa..." He swallowed the lump in his throat. He knelt down next to Trowa and held him in his arms, sobbing, but then abruptly stoppingÂ… he laid Trowa's lifeless body back on the floor, and rose. He listened carefully and heard singing and a shower running.
He made a quick trip to his dorm and returned to the crime seen. He looked at Trowa, then tore his gaze away and made his way towards the singing. He slowly opened the bathroom door, gun in hand, and saw Duo taking a shower, singing oblivious to the enraged man only a few feet away. Heero's vision went red. He ran in, slamming Duo against the tiled wall.
"You son of a bitch!" Heero barked. "Now you die!"
Duo struggled but Heero was much stronger. Heero grabbed Duo's hand. He made him hold the gun against his head through force of his fury.
"Say bye-bye" Heero said with a maniac smile, pulling the trigger.
Duo fell to the floor of the bathtub, gun still in his hand.
OWARI