Of Jokes, Goats and the End of the World

Summary: It's the end of the world as we know it. Byakuya makes a joke. And all Rukia wants to do is sleep. Sugar-induced OOCness.

A/N: I was drawing a blank for something to write, so I got my friends to help. This is the result. Written by both myself, and Rose Taijiya (now Stand Alone Origin). Another friend assisted in the guidelines. You have been warned.

These were the guidelines:

-Humor fic.

-Someone must say, "It's the end of the world as we know it."

-Ichigo must run into multiple walls.

-Characters used

Ichigo

Rukia

Renji

Byakuya

-Must include these items.

Byakuya's headpiece: kenseikan

Goat in a tutu

Division papers.

-Byakuya makes a joke.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. That simple. :(

Edit date: October 2, 2007 (Because I had nothing better to do)

xXx

Rukia sighed; it had been a long, long day. It was about 2 AM and she had only just finished all of her reports. She piled up her Division papers on her desk and walked to her bed, falling onto it. She fell asleep the moment her head hit the pillow.

Five minutes later she awoke to the sound of a knock on her door, and it opening. She frowned raising her head up to look. She squinted, her eyes still blurry from sleep, and saw what appeared to be an orange mop. "What….?" She muttered as a red mop appeared next to the orange one. Blinking a few times she realized that they were not mops at all, but in fact people, very familiar looking people.

"Rukia," Kurosaki Ichigo hissed. "Are you in here?"

"Yeah…." she mumbled. "My question is… WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!" She got up, quite happy she had not changed and was still in her Shinigami robes.

Abarai Renji, who had entered the room after Ichigo, pushed him fully into Rukia's room, followed, and closed the door behind them. "We have to hide. Can we hide in here?"

Rukia's face fell, and she narrowed her eyes. "Who are you hiding from? And why?" she asked.

Ichigo and Renji shared a look, and Renji laughed nervously. "Hiding? Did I say "Hiding?" I meant…. Ummm…" he trailed off uncomfortably.

"Rukia!" Ichigo said suddenly. "What's that?" he pointed to a picture above Rukia's bed. "Is that a…. goat… in a…. tutu!?" His mouth had fallen open. "Who drew that?!?"

Renji's face suddenly adopted a light blush. "Renji did, when we were younger," Rukia said. "Now, stop avoiding my question. Who are you hiding from? And why?" Rukia grilled them.

But the boys didn't answer her. Ichigo walked over to the picture, and Renji followed. "You drew this? Renji, it's horrible!"

He frowned. "It's not that bad…."

"Why'd you draw it-"

"I believe it looks like a self-portrait. Don't you agree?"

Silence filled the room. As one, the three turned towards the door. Kuchiki Byakuya stood there.

"D-did, you just…make a joke…?" Rukia asked nearly speechless. Renji and Ichigo could only stare on in shock. They were speechless.

Byakuya frowned, and inclined his head. "I suppose."

Renji's mouth fell open. "It's the end of the world as we know it!"

"Run for your lives!" Ichigo shouted. Both boys began to run around the room, screaming like madmen. Ichigo, in the process running into the walls, many times.

"Stop! Boys! STOP!" Rukia shouted. Then she sighed, falling onto the bed. "It's hopeless," she groaned, looking up at Byakuya, who now stood above her. "Why are you here, nii-sama?"

He frowned and sat at the end of her bed. "Kurosaki and Abarai stole my kenseikan By the way they have been acting this evening, I would have to say they may have had too much sugar."

Rukia looked at her brother, she hadn't even noticed that his kenseikan was missing. "Oh." She frowned at the boys still running into the walls, and each other. "I'd have to agree with your assessment on them. They said they were hiding from someone, I guess they meant- No Ichigo watch out for my desk! I just finished all those-"

CRASH! In all their crazy, sugar induced running, Ichigo had run into her desk, sending her piles, upon piles of reports flying in every direction. The sound of paper fluttering filled the room.

"…Reports…" Rukia finished weakly.

"Uhh…oops." Ichigo muttered.

Rukia stood, her exhaustion making her very, very mad. She grabbed Sode No Shirayuki, and proceeded to chase Ichigo around the room, slashing at him wildly.

"You FOOL! That took me hours!" Rukia yelled.

Meanwhile Renji had stopped running around the room and now sat on the bed next to Byakuya, enjoying the show. "Those two are certainly interesting, aren't they, Kuchiki-taichou?" Renji grinned at Byakuya.

Byakuya frowned at the two, still running childishly around the room. "I suppose. My kenseikan, Renji."

Renji looked a bit ashamed as he pulled something out of his pocket and handed it over to Byakuya.

"Thank you," Byakuya said. Taking it from Renji, he rose to his feet. "I would watch the sugar consumption in the future, if I were you," he said simply. Walking to the door he added, "I'm leaving."

Rukia and Ichigo paused in their running. "Good-bye nii-sama," Rukia said, placing Sode No Shirayuki away. Byakuya left, and only Rukia, Renji and Ichigo remained.

Renji rose to his feet. "I'm leaving as well," he said walking out the door after his Captain.

Rukia turned to face Ichigo. "Either help me pick up or LEAVE!" she shouted, exhaustion creeping into her voice.

Ichigo's eyes grew wide in fear. She was nasty when she was tired. "Bye-bye," he said running out the door. "RENJI! BYAKUYA! WAIT FOR MEEE!!!!!"

Rukia gave a sobbing sigh, and sat down to start picking up the mess of papers that now covered her floor, and to rewrite the ones that had been destroyed by herself and Ichigo.

xXx

Hours later Rukia lay down on her bed to finally get some sleep. "Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy, sleepy," Rukia yawned.

She closed her eyes, and came an inch away from wonderful sleep, when "GOOD MORNING KUCHIKI-FUKUTAICHOU!" came a very loud shout in her ear. Rukia shot up, and narrowed her eyes at the offending officers.

"Kiyone…. Sentarou…" she reached for Sode No Shirayuki. "Get out of here NOW!!!!" she shouted.

The officers ran from the room.

Suffice it to say, Rukia called in sick that day.

xXx

A/N: There. Forgive me for any mistakes in names, grammar, or spelling. Hope it at least made you smile.