Disclaimer: I do not in any way own Harry potter and CO. they rightfully belong to J.K Rolling. I also do not own Impulse, which is by Ellen Hopkins. I am not as talented as these two writers.
A/N: Hey everyone since you guys liked my other story I decided to post something a little different than your average H.PxDM angst fic. I hope you guys like it as much as I liked writing it. Umm this fic is based loosely on a book I read by Ellen Hopkins...if you've ever read any of her books you'd know the woman is utter genius and I love her style of writing. This fic unfortunately is not written in the format she uses. It is based on the book Impulse and I loved it so much I thought I would do a fic like it even though it may not be similar in some ways but you'll see. This fic is obviously AU because it is not based on any magic at all. Ok.
Summary: Harry Potters world was never easy and soon he finds himself at Hogwarts a psychiatric hospital for those who have committed one dangerous act-suicide. But is it possible for this broken boy to be saved? And when he falls under the spell of a boy by the name of Draco Malfoy who is obviously in there for reasons of his own, will he finally find his sanctuary or will he only be pulled deeper into the darkness that suffocated him only so long ago? HPxDM
Warning: This fic is rated M for a reason. If you are not comfortable with thoughts of (or attempted) suicide, BoyXBoy love, Cutting, or just angst all together, then this is not a fic for you. So please do not read if this is not something you are comfortable with ok. Thank you.
Chapter 1: Wounds
Its funny how life comes at you fast.
Funnier how death stops it dead in its tracks.
The only fucked up thing about that is when some mystical force intervenes, pulls you from deaths grasp and lets you know that really it wasn't your time to die. Especially if death is the only thing you crave.
But I digress.
When I arrived the place looked like some modern type castle than a place for the insane or in my case suicidal. I wondered if in here my dreams would come true and I'd get my happily ever after... I doubted that very much. Unless of course I found some way to cut through skin until I saw that pretty red, then happily ever after's are not on my schedule.
" Lets go boy." One of the orderlies, I suppose that is what they're called, places a hand on my shoulder leading me up the steps to two tall double doors.
" Welcome to your new home kid."
I smile at that and my emerald eyes light up with amusement.
" Unless this place is death itself then it isn't my home."
I study the look on his face and I almost laugh at the disturbed glance I see but the doors suddenly opens and I am gently pulled inside. I look back once more out the double doors, See the bright sunlight, can vaguely hear the chirping of birds and I wonder when I'll be let back into hell again so that I can experience heaven.
The doors close with a resounding boom echo's against the walls.
I wonder where everyone is.
The orderly reads the look on my face as he leads me up a flight of stairs.
" Different levels go to different places this time of day...Most of the kids are either attending classes, in the rec room, or others could just be relaxing in their own rooms."
Relaxation?
Is such a thing possible here? He makes it sound as though this place were a 5 star resort, instead of a crazy place where the insane resides for their chance to escape. We finally stop in front of a door at the end of the hallway and he knocks awaiting entrance.
I wonder who we'll meet beyond the door.
"Come in."
We enter the room and I notice instantly that the room has a cozy sort of feeling to it. In all honesty I haven't felt this kind of warmth since I put metal to my chest, touched the trigger and pulled.
The orderly leads me towards the chair on the opposite of a mahogany desk. On the other side is a seemingly old man, with what appears to be silver hair and twinkling eyes behind thin spectacles.
I despise him right away but I do not show this because I may have to use him in the near future. It was quite easy to know he was the 'big man' behind this whole operation. He smiles at me warmly before pulling a file close to him that was currently lying on his desk.
" Mr. Harry Potter correct?"
I shake my head once moving dark ebony locks away from my face.
" Welcome to the Hogwarts treatment center. My name is Albus dumbledore, I'm in charge of this facility as you probably already know."
I shake my head again slumping slightly in my seat. I just want to get this over with.
" We here at the Hogwarts facility treat our patients the best we can...of course this is not the only facility we have. Here you're only allowed to stay until the age of eighteen years and if you are not cured by then...then you'll get transferred to one of the bigger treatment centers."
He stops as though for dramatic effect before going on.
"Now since you are new here you will begin at level one, that is where you start out by staying in your room twenty-four seven, food is brought to your room by one of the orderlies which, let me warn you now, will check your room every fifteen minutes to review how you are coping. This process usually takes one or two weeks. From their you will work your way up to other levels which will allow interaction with other patients, eating lunch in the lunchroom, attending classes...etc. Any questions so far?"
Sure I got a question why the hell are you talking so much? But of course I do not voice this and I shake my head no for him to continue. He looks at the papers in the folder.
" I've reviewed your case and I've decided to put you in the Gryffindor house or in your case G-1. This facility is divided into four houses. Beginning with Hugglepuff, which is for those with minor problems, Raveclaw is next, Gryffindor being third, and Slytherin which is for those who have committed serious acts against others and themselves."
He looks at me as though he's contemplating something. Then he shakes his head.
" Lets just hope you don't have to be moved to Slytherin alright Harry."
I smile at him before running a hand through my dark locks.
" I don't think I'm capable of making promises sir."
Making my way towards my new room my mind can't help but wonder back to when eternal sleep was so close within my grasp. I wonder what uncle Vernon thought when he heard I tried to kill myself- and failed.
I should have put the gun to my head, instead of my chest where bone was an option to stop said bullet from ending a heart no longer needed. Should have worried less about scattering my brain all over the walls and worried more about getting the job done.
Instead I decided the heart would be suffice, would make it stop beating, such a thing ripped apart to make that pretty red come out. Funny how I couldn't even do that right.
We reach my room or as the orderly called it my 'home away from home.' As he opens the door a group of 'patients' are coming down the hallway all of which are wearing black slacks, white shirts, and green ties. They slow down to watch 'the new kid' I suppose...some of them even whistle. The man leading the group glares at them until they quiet down before walking again.
" Damn Slytherins." the orderly whispers before leading me inside the room.
" I'll be back in fifteen minutes."
I roll my eyes once he leaves and stare disgustingly at the room. A bed, a small window, and a wooden closet are the only things in here.
'Not so different from my old room'
Which brings me back to my suicide attempt. Would you believe the bullet hit bone leaving my heart in one lovely piece? Luck was apparently not with me that day. I lay on the bed caught up in my reminiscing.
Aunt petunia found me too soon, or my life would have probably ended with the loss of blood. Lying on the ground in that room, blood flowing freely from new wounds she leaned over me with a scared but disgusting look on her face. If she could she would probably beat me for messing up the carpet.
Then again that was more of uncle Vernon's job.
What she said next though was the icing on the cake.
" Shame really that you can't even do this right. Should have stuck to cutting, maybe then you would have hit the right spot."
She then went to go call 911.
I smiled before I passed out from either the pain or blood lost...at the moment I can't remember which one.
Fucked up isn't it?
A/N: Well this is very angst and since this is a touchy topic it's kind of hard for me to do. But other than that please Review if you have any questions, criticism, or just want to tell me if you like where this is going. Next chapter will be about the lovely Draco Malfoy and how he ended up in the treatment center.