Show me the Enterprise!

By CT

Summary: William Shanter gets a big surprise one day while hosting 'Show Me the Money'...Kirk and the gang beam down! Coincedence, or is there a plot line to this humourous story? Find out...inside!

D/C: Don't own any Star Trek characters, Show me the Money, or Star Trek in general. Um...if I make the actor's personalities different from real life, I'm sorry. I've never met any of the actors, so I don't really know their personalities.

Author's Note: I legally flipped out when I first saw 'Show me the Money' and my dad (a wonderful Trekkie) said, "That's Captain Kirk!" "NO!" I screamed. "It's not...are you serious?" But he was. And so I wrote this.

Chappie One: A normal day...

William Shatner expected that today was going to be an ordinary day. He got up, got dressed, and went to the set for 'Show me the Money', his new game show. It wasn't much, but William liked it, and so therefore he went.

He remembered his Star Trek days very well. A fun career, he admitted. Playing the ladies'-man, hunky, decisive Captain Kirk. It had been a fun role, but Shatner was almost glad it was over. Still though, Shatner felt that he was a part of Captain Kirk...or, at least, Kirk was a part of him.

William sneaked through the back of the set and signed some autographs before the show. Then he went to makeup and was fully prepared to be the perfect game show host. "Show me the money." he whispered.

He walked out to the cheers of the audience and watched as a woman named Georgina lost $112,000. He took out a card which had the name of the next contestant. William's eyes bugged for a moment. What? He thought. Impossible...oh, man. Just get this under control. Don't look like a fool. "Ha ha ha, folks!" Shatner said. "Seems like we've got a Trekkie out there. The next contestant is...Captain Kirk!" The crowd laughed along with William Shatner. He glanced at the production manager and gave a quick glare. The manager only shrugged. What is going on? Shatner wondered.

"C'mon out, Kirk!" the actor joked. "Just don't stun me with a phaser!" More appreciative laughter.

"Maybe it's supposed to be you!" an audience member yelled.

Shatner laughed, hoping for a commercial break. "Hey, Scotty? Beam him down!"

There was more laughter, and then surprised shrieks: there was a flash of gold light and Kirk, Spock, and McCoy appeared. Applause sounded.

"Dammit, Jim, where are we?" McCoy asked.

"You're on Show me the Money!" Shatner said.

"This appears to be primitive entertainment, Captain." Spock reported.

They look so much like our younger selves, Shatner thought. But they're just obsessed fans...but how did they beam like that?

"I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise representing the United Federation of Planets." Kirk said. The audience laughed and clapped. "What did I say that was so funny?" he asked McCoy.

"Dammit, Jim, how should I know?" McCoy asked.

"So, your favorite character is Dr. McCoy?" Shatner asked, hoping to gain control of the already out-of-control situation.

"Favorite character?" Spock said. "Dr. McCoy is no character. This man is insane, or behaving illogically."

"You really do sound like Leonard Nimoy." William told Spock. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Leonard, you say?" McCoy asked.

"Yes..."

"I'm Leonard, dammit!" McCoy snapped. "Leonard McCoy."

"No, Spock is Leonard. Leonard Nimoy."

"What are you talking about?" McCoy asked.

"Star Trek!" William said. "You know..."

McCoy glanced at Kirk.

"But you guys are Trekkies!" William said. "You have to know about Star Trek!" Spock raised an eyebrow. Shatner cleared his throat. "Space. The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.?" The crowd began to cheer.

"He knows." Kirk whispered. "But. How?"

"So, uh," McCoy said, "how do you know about this?"

Shatner laughed. "I played Captain Kirk on the TV show."

Kirk glanced at the man. "Hopefully when you were younger, because it'd be disgraceful for you to play me now."

"So, you are the famed Captain James Tiberius Kirk...notorious ladies' man and captain of the Enterprise?" Shatner asked, ignoring Kirk's comment.

"He knows too much." Kirk whispered to McCoy.

"Everyone knows you're a ladies' man, Jim." the doctor replied.

"We need to beam him up." Kirk said.

"If you are anxious about his knowledge, perhaps it would not be best to let him board the Enterprise." Spock cautioned.

"I'm the captain. Do as I say." Kirk snapped. He pulled out a communicator. "Kirk to Enterprise."

"Lt. Uhura here, Captain." Uhura responded.

"You've got Nichelle Nichols on!?" William asked.

"Who is that?"

"Allegedly Captain Kirk." Spock replied.

"Um..."

"Beam us up." Kirk ordered.

"Aye, sir."

There was an odd feeling in Shatner's stomach. Is this what a beam-up really feels like? He wondered.

He looked around. They were on the bridge. He blinked and ran to the captain's chair. He felt it. It was really there... William went to Sulu's station and pressed a button. Sulu slapped his hand. "Hey! You can't do that!"

"Who is this, Keptain?" Chekov asked.

"William Shatner." Kirk replied.

"And that is..."

"Very funny, guys." William said. "Am I on Candid Camera or something? Okay, you've brought young lookalikes of Walter Koenig, George Takei, me, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Nichelle Nichols...but I'm not impressed."

"Who's he talking about?" Sulu asked. Chekov shrugged.

William ran to Spock's station and looked into the box. He went to Uhura's station. "It actually works." he whispered. He ran to the turbolift.

"Don't leave!" Kirk snapped.

"All of this...all of this is REAL!"

Will Shatner freak out? Will the other actors from Star Trek beam aboard? Find out...in the next chappie!