Alice Forgets By: HisDarkMistress
I walk cautiously along the pathway with the mad hatter, I try to make myself as small as possible, I feel as if I want to disappear. He places a comforting hand on my back; I look up to him and he smiles at me, the kind of warm smile that has been the only one to welcome me in Wonderland. "You'll love him, though he is not born yet, it's a preview rather, but when you unite, it will be as if you've known each other forever" and butterflies well in my stomach.
When the bushes part, I see the beautiful display of lights leading to the tea party, where I am to meet my destined lover. I find it awkward that I'm only but twelve and plans are arranged for me, my destiny. I walk to where the he is, he's tall, and handsome. His long black hair came to shoulder length, and he had strong, gorgeous eyes and features. However, I still realize I am older than him. He calls my name with a deep, rich voice, and I realize that I agree with my destiny. "Alice, I have not yet been born, as you know. I am a preview of what is to come. I am the next Hatter. I have a deep understanding of your future, my future, Wonderland's future." And temptation is arising.
We sit by a small tree and drink tea in the comfort of shade. "So, I realize we are destined to be together, but I have not yet learned your name. What is your name? So that I may remember you better." And he looked at his feet; I could tell he was sad. "Alas, the only way I was able to give you your preview was that I could not tell you my name." he paused, and for the first time, his eyes looked glossy and full of tears. "Alice," he turned to me, almost desperately. "I cannot tell you my name, but you must never forget my face. If you forget my face, we can never be reunited." I look at his angelic face for what seemed like an eternity. And then I feel myself suddenly fading, as I fade, he began to cry, and held on to my transparent body. I could not hear, smell, nor feel him, but all I could feel was my heart break.
When I awake, I find myself among my sister again, how I first came to wonderland. We were sitting in the field, and I was taking my lessons, and then I had followed that wretched back stabbing white rabbit. Sister strokes my face, but I still feel sluggish. "Alice dear, you look distraught." And I had realized that tears were running down my cheeks. "Oh, no. I-I'm fine. I'm just a little shaken up." Sister knew just what to do. I always talked to father when I was upset. He would always pull me on his lap and stroke my cheeks. I could never help but smile.
"Come, my dear, tell your father what's upsetting you." I inhale deeply, wondering where to start. "I've been in a world…" He laughs, "oh-ho-ho, did your sister tell you it was imaginary?" and he looked teasingly at sister. "No father, I was REALLY in another world! You don't understand!"
A couple of weeks had passed since then, and father, on and off would ask me if I was sure of what I had experienced. And all the time I stuck with the facts. Eventually, he said he would help me, and started me on medication that would "Allow me to visit both worlds."
(10 years later)
When I try to think of past years, I draw a blank. I can only remember the now. I can't remember how I got to today. All I seem to be able to remember is a face, with arms outstretched to me. At first when I saw this image, I thought it was father, but I can't seem to remember any affection from him.
Lady Bronx had once told me that father means well. I don't understand how Lady Bronx can tell all this from simple meetings with father and I at the house. Ever since mother left father has been exceptionally cold to me. He has never said this, but I believe he blames me for mother leaving.
I don't like Lady Bronx, when she comes over to talk to me she acts judgmental. I feel as if she doesn't care about what I have to say, she just listens and writes things down. I feel evaluated. But I've come to a conclusion that I will stop taking my medication all together. Father believes me when I tell him I take the pills. He gives me the pills at dinnertime, so I will wait til then to start regaining my memories.
I waited in the library until dinner, reading all sorts of books, and I found myself imagining myself in the books, associating with all of the radical characters. Eventually father came for me, carrying the water and the little purple pill, He handed me the pill, and I ran it in between my fingers, feeling the smooth surface, and I popped it into my mouth, and slid it under my tongue. I took a swig of water, and he walked slowly out of the room. Instantly I walked over to the window, and spit the pill out into the garden. And for some reason, I felt I was throwing away any ounce of 'sanity' I had.