A/N: A battle of Haiku and wit between Maes and Roy. Forgive me if there are any mistakes, this is a bit old. Feel free to imagine that this battle of Haiku never ended and the boys were always throughing poetic bits of paper at eachother. Nya.
Not every day,
Do you get such a letter,
In snazzy haiku!-Maes
Did that have a point?
Do you need more work to do?
If you do, do mine.-Roy
My heart is wounded!
Why do you say such mean things?
Has our friendship died?-Maes
You're a drama queen,
Those 'tear' blotches were too much,
Stop writing haiku.-Roy
Hell hath no fury,
Like a Liuetenant Colonel,
Scorned by a Colonel!-Maes
You are a loser,
A second rate, no good jerk,
Give me back my GLOVES!-Roy
Your heart is turmoil,
Your perfect life is shattered,
Now you know despair.-Maes
This is under-hand,
I demand my gloves return,
As Colonel Mustang.-Roy
You forget one thing,
My superior, you know,
Isn't you, Colonel.-Maes
Ha! Taste your own pill,
You conniving glove stealer!
How will you live now?-Roy
Foul scourge of the earth,
You have proved your heart is black,
Give her back right now.-Maes
Hah! Bring me my gloves,
And Elicia can go,
Till then she is mine-Roy
Understand, dear sir,
You have kidnapped a naive child,
Please treat her kindly.-Maes
Do you think me crude?
Your daughter is in good hands.
Now, bring back my gloves.-Roy
Ah, well, no problem,
Just give me some more time please,
I will return them.-Maes
You have lost my gloves!
I can see it in your words!
I ought to lose Eli--Roy
Leiutenant Colonel,
Please disregard those last words,
Your daughter is fine.-Riza
Colonel Mustang, sir,
We are both resonable,
Can't we compromise?-Maes
No glove, no daughter,
I stand firm in my resolve,
Find my gloves, Maes Hughes.-Roy
You are a cruel man,
Your black heart is desolate,
Your name brings terror.-Maes
Yes, yes, I know that,
My patience is running out,
Your flattery fails.-Roy
By noon time today,
Your vile demands will be met,
On the parade ground.-Maes
Your senses are back,
This is very good to know,
I will come promptly.-Roy
You fell for my trap,
Short sighted Colonel Mustang,
Vengence will be mine!-Maes
You absolute fool!
You started this childish fight!
Vengence will be mine!-Roy
Roy, isn't it cool?
I am writing this haiku,
With my nimble lips!-Maes
The nurse will ask this:
'Oh my, how did that paper,
Get up your nose sir?'-Roy
You sir are jealous,
I will not rise to the bait,
Of the disgraced man-Maes
Folly has two names,
Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes,
And Colonel Mustang.-Riza