A/N: So I thought that no one had actually doen anything about Kyle's judiasm. I wanted to write a fanfiction about Kyle for a while but never really had any good ideas for one. My sister just started training for her bat mitzvah and I had mine a few years back so I decided to write something about Kyle's Bar Mitzvah. This is my first serious fanfic so any review would be appreciated, good or bad!
It had been years since I thought of the day that had changed my life forever. Exactly three years in fact. And now here I stand on the thresholds of manhood remembering it. It had been summer, near the end of it I suppose, and I was just about to start seventh grade in a few weeks. I was in my room listening to my CD player when my mom called for me.
"Bubie, come here I have something to ask you!" My mom screamed down from the bottom of the stairs. I sighed as I pressed the pause button and took off my head phones.
"This better be good," I grumbled as I made my way down the steps. I saw my mother and father sitting at the kitchen table. They looked like they were about to interrogate me for some wrong doing. "Whatever it is I didn't do it." I automatically said as I sat down at the table.
"You're not in any trouble, son." My father said looking at me. "We just wanted to ask you a question."
"Bubele, my best friend Rachel Goldstein has just moved her and she enrolled her twelve year old daughter, Sara, into Hebrew school." My mom started. "She wanted to know if you'd be interested in joining Hebrew school too."
"What?" I said loudly, "No way man! It's bad enough I have to be Jewish but now you want me to go to a special school for it?"
"Now Kyle" My dad said calmly. "This school is only on Tuesdays and Sundays and there is no homework for it. I think it would do you some good to meet other Jewish kids and learn about our people."
"No way!" I said loudly as I hopped off of my chair and walked toward the door. "I'm going for a walk." I yelled at my parents as I slammed the door closed. It banged open and I could here my mom sighing and my father trying to console her.
It was bright outside. The sun was hanging close to the mountains. The grass was visible and green. My feet automatically took me in the direction of my best friend Stan Marsh's house. He was outside in his yard taking out the trash.
"Hey Kyle," He said waving at me from the metal cans near his garage. He walked over to me with a big smile on his face. He saw my troubled expression and immediately asked, "What's wrong?"
I shrugged my shoulders and said, "My parents want me to go to Hebrew school and I don't want to go." I said simply.
Stan looked confused and asked, "What's Hebrew school?"
"It's a school where Jews go to learn how to become snakes and cheats." Said that fatass, Cartman, loudly. He was walking up the block along with a kid in a beat up orange parka, Kenny McCormick.
"Shut up, fatass!" I yelled loudly. Damn I hate it when he says rude comments like that. "You don't know what the hell you are talking about.
"Ay, don't call me fat Jewboy." Cartman said squeezing his fat hands into fists and closing his eyes tightly. "I'm just big-boned!" He yelled.
Kenny mumbled, "If you're just big-boned then I'd hate to see someone who was really fat." Stan, Kenny and I all laughed.
"Ay, respect my authoritah!" Cartman said loudly. "Why are you laughing Jewboy?"
"Shut up Cartman!" I said angrily.
"What are you going to do eh?" Cartman said with a sneer on his fat face. "Get your Jew friends to beat me up? Oh wait a minute you don't have Jew friends! AHAHAHAHA" He said laughing at his own joke.
"If I went to school I would have more Jewish friends!" I said without thinking. I knew exactly what was coming next.
Apparently so did Stan because he said a little hesitantly, "Uh Kyle, I think you should calm down a bit."
I looked side ways at him and said, "No Stan. Cartman is right about one thing, I don't have any Jewish friends. I think I will go to Hebrew school and prove Cartman wrong." I said as I turned around and walked back to my house. I could here Stan as he slapped Cartman and said "Dude, why'd you have to do that?"
I walked loudly into my house and I could hear my father getting ready to yell at me. I stomped up the stairs and turned to them and yelled down, "I'm going to Hebrew school!" I walked into my room, slamming the door and flopped face down on my bed. I could here my mom squealing downstairs and heading towards the phone. At that point I didn't care and went to sleep immediately.