A/N - Wow, its been awhile since I've been on the site. Here's a New Year's gift to you all!
Disclaimer - I do not own Fablehaven, Kendra, Bracken or Gavin. Apparently, Santa didn't see the P.S. on my letter this year...
"You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself." - Marilyn Monroe
Toss. Turn. Repeat.
'Why can't we have an air conditioner again? Oh yeah, it might disturb the creatures' way of life. Save the fact that they have a freakin' generator powered t.v. set!' I thought grumpily, throwing off the covers and crossing the room to the window.
For a moment I hesitated, hands ready to throw it open. Nothing good had ever come by opening this window. Hadn't we learned that the hard way?
'Aw, to heck with it.' I thought as I threw open the window anyway and leaned out, thankful for the light breeze blowing through the stifling attic. How can Seth sleep when it's this hot? I thought, glancing at my not-so-little-anymore brother snoring loudly under his bedcovers.
I knew I was never going to get any sleep by standing there, so I silently tiptoed past Seth and down the attic steps. Grabbing a glass of water, I stole out onto the front porch. It had been six weeks since Zzyzx had been opened and this was the first time I'd dared to go outside on my own except when I was going to meet Bracken at the pond.
Bracken...
What was I going to do with him?
I liked him a lot and it was clear that he had feelings for me; he'd practically announced it to the world when he came to dinner earlier. I blushed just thinking about it. Grandma Sorenson had asked Bracken if he planned to visit Fablehaven much.
"Of course I'll be coming over a lot, that is, if you'll have me." Bracken had replied sheepishly from his place next to me at the dining room table. "My mother wants me to fix up the island where her shrine is; she says it's become too dingy for her tastes in her absence. I have a haunting suspicion that my sisters had something to do with it..."
"But surely you don't mean to come only to work, Bracken!" My Grandma Larsen exclaimed. "You must come up to the house to call more often! I say, Kendra really missed you, haven't you, Kendra?" She winked conspiratorially at me. I'd never wanted to turn invisible more than I did at that second.
"Uh-huh," I squeaked pitifully, nodding my head up and down. When did I become such a Nervous Nellie? Seth snickered. I sank lower in my chair.
"Well, Kendra," Bracken turned to me, silvery-blue eyes boring into mine, "You needn't worry about missing me too much. I'll be around so much you'll be sick of me!" He smiled broadly, his eyes crinkling in amusement, than turned away. "Would you please pass the the potatoes, Dale?"
All in all, it was one of the most embarrassing nights of my life, including the time Seth convinced me that one of my friends' birthday party was actually a costume party and I dressed up only to find everyone else was in formal party attire. (Seth and Warren's rousing rendition of "Bracken and Kendra, Sitting In A Tree" as soon as Bracken was out of earshot had not helped a bit.)
'So what's the problem, Kendra?' I thought as I sat down on the step. I thought on that a good long while when it finally hit me.
'I'm scared to love him.' A little voice whispered.
I automatically pushed the thought aside. How stupid was that? On second thought, not so stupid after all. I mean, look how the last guy I fell for turned out. The Demon Prince, Navarog! The jerk who killed Dougan and nearly killed Mara, Warren and me in one fell swoop; betraying us all. Yeah, maybe thinkingfirst would be a good idea. But then again, the Fairy Queen did say that Bracken was trustworthy...
I groaned and shook my head, trying to rid my brain of its train of thought. It didn't work.
What had Grandpa Sorensen said? "That if we can't trust each other, the enemy has already won?" Bracken had saved my life on more than one occasion but, then again, so had Gavin. I cringed. Even after all this time, and after seeing firsthand what his actions had done – the lives he'd completely destroyed – it still hurt to think about Gavin. He was my first serious crush and I trusted him with my life; look where that got me - sitting on my front porch, in my pjs, sweating my brains out and trying not to cry too loud.
'Oh Kendra, when will you ever learn?'
I sighed deeply and dabbed at the tears on my cheeks with a corner of my shirt. Bracken was not Gavin, or Navarog, or whatever he was. Bracken was sweet and he was caring and everybody else, even "trust no one" Grandma Sorensen liked and trusted him. So why couldn't I? I'd only pictured a future for us together a million times and he seemed to be all for it.
But so had Gavin.
I resisted the urge to scream. Gavin was dead! I had an amazing boy who loved me and was willing to pull out the scotch tape to fix my broken heart. So why the hell did I keep thinking about Gavin?
Maybe because it was that little part of me that still completely, irrationally still loved him – or at least the part of him that he pretended to be. Or maybe it was little part of me that was still scared to death that as soon as I let Bracken in, it would turn out that he has his own nefarious plot to kill my loved ones.
I shook my head again. Bracken was the good guy! I jumped up off my perch on the porch and started to pace purposefully through the garden – steadfastly ignoring the strange looks and mocking laughs I got from the few fairies who were still awake - my thoughts going a mile a minute. If I couldn't trust Bracken, who could I trust? What if Grandpa Larsen's mind had been twisted to evil when he worked for the Sphinx? What if Dale secretly conferred with dangerous demons? What if...
"DAMNIT!" I shouted out loudly and flopped to the ground. Grandpa Sorensen had been right, always questioning who you can trust, especially within one's own family, was exhausting. There had to be something to trust in right? Right? Of course I could trust Bracken.
I hoped.
As I slowly trudged back up to the house, I realized with alarm that it would soon be dawn. I ran the rest way to the house, all thoughts of dragons and unicorns flying right out of my head. I grabbed the glass and raced up the stairs as quietly and as quickly as I could. I jumped under the covers right as the sun started to shine in from the window.
"Kendra, that you?" My brother muttered groggily from under his pillow.
"Yeah, it's me. Go back to sleep, Seth." I whispered back to him.
"Okay," He replied, rolling over to face the wall.
I watched him long after his snores began to resonate through the attic, and then rolled over my self. As I drifted off to sleep I thought, 'Well Bracken, I don't know if I trust you yet, but I sure as hell am in love with you.
And then, I was asleep.
