"The early bird gets the worm"

Few clichés had been touted in front of the third son of the Ootori family more than this one. Even his father—ever the opportunist—seemed rather fond of that damn phrase. Kyouya, of course, could understand the valid points of the tired proverb, as he often took the initiative to set his plans into motion well in advance.

But there was no way in Hell Kyouya was sacrificing hours of sleep for it.

He had influence enough, wit enough, and resource enough and more to make up for the odd hours he kept. The thought of someone questioning his dubious "circadian rhythm" was laughable. The only person that ever interrupted his sleep with any regularity was Tamaki.

And everyone knew Tamaki was a few fries short of a hyappi miiru.

"Kyouya," The affluent blonde sang, bursting into his best friend's room with all the force of a typhoon. "We have plans!"

Even though he received absolutely no response from the lump under Kyouya's covers, the host club's idiot prince was undeterred. Leaning a knee onto his Shadow King's luxurious mattress, he none-too-gently began his attempts to arouse his friend. "Come, Okaa-san. See how the sun beckons us out to enjoy our Saturday afternoon? It will be a very brilliant day! The birds are chirping, greeting us with their delightful chatter, and best of all, there's a sale at the nearest supermarket! It's absolutely essential we go, for the sake of the merchants-risking-bankruptcy-to-offer-half-price!!!" Tamaki had spat out the rest as even his breath began to run out.

"Idiot. What does it matter what price they offer? You could afford the entire supermarket." A temperamental, drowsy Kyouya squirmed from his covers just enough to shoot Tamaki one of his signature glares. Even this irrepressible Frenchman shrank back from it, pushing fully off the bed before regaining his confidence.

"Sou ka-sou ka!" He retorted effortlessly, as though truly comprehending the point Kyouya wished to make. "But, you see, our dear daughter Haruhi cannot afford it, and so it falls upon us, Okaa-san, to insure our precious daughter does not go unnourished!"

"Okaa-san doesn't CARE."

Tamaki pouted as Kyouya returned to his comfortable lump. "KYOUYA Please get up? Please-please-please?"

Silence.

"…Please?"

"It is eight in the morning. On a weekend. I went to bed at precisely 5:23 this morning. Even if Hell freezes over… Even if YOU pay someone to make Hell freeze over, you are not getting me out of this bed."

"But! Mon ami, how can you ignore this Beautiful day?"

"How can you not? Have you slept in even once in your life?"

"Naturally not—" Tamaki began cheerfully before he was promptly and firmly hauled down to lie next to his grumpy friend. "Ah! Kyouya?!"

"If you have not indulged in it, you should not judge it. The stores will still be open in the afternoon."

Tamaki halted all efforts to struggle and gave a weak chuckle. Once again, the Shadow King had won the round. There were indeed advantages to not being an early bird.