Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things Twilight. Sam Smith is an amazing artist and just inspiration for my imagination. No copy right infringement is intended. Enjoy :)
STAY WITH ME
Another date, I was hoping I could cancel by faking that food poisoning had gotten to me like all the others I had succeeded with. But no such luck tonight my meddling cousin Rosalie saw to that.
After the disastrous break-up six and a half months ago with my... Ex.(And yes I was counting.) I just wasn't interested in "getting back out there." I am sure one would normally do that with an awkward finesse but me?- I was just damn awkward. I tried at first and then I realized that I was twenty-six years old and the likely hood and chance of me finding "Her" you know- "The One" was slowly dwindling as everyday passed.
I think about Al-Alice every fucking day. When I wake up and turn the shower on. When I walk to the cafe and even when I am listening to the awful pop music she left programmed onto my iPod. I hated it, but I loved her... you still love her. I was damaged goods and I felt like she took everything good. I didn't smile as much anymore. I just was breathing-not living-just breathing, barley alive.
When I came through the door of our Chicago apartment that day everything felt surreal. Alice had a look in her eye that still haunted me.
Luggage littered the hallway floor leading to the door. Her beautiful face was strained and her lip was in a tight line. I looked into her big blue sapphire like eyes with confusion marring my features. Her mouth open like she was going to speak and then closed silently as she looked down.
"E-Edward I'm leaving. I-I just want more." she scattered out making as little eye contact as possible.
She knew I hated when she didn't look me in the fucking eyes!
I felt the breath leave my lungs and I just stared at her. "What's his name Alice?" I whispered out, not recognizing my own voice. She just stood there mouth agape taking in small breaths. Anger surged through me my shock forgotten for the moment.
"What's his FUCKING name Alice?!" I spat.
"J-Jasper." she shrieked with a small jump. I had only ever raised my voice to her a total of one. I remembered because I apologized thoroughly and promised to never do it again. Knowing that Alice had come from an abusive home where yelling and screaming was a regular way of communication was all the encouragement I had needed.
"Why baby?" I said never taking my eyes off of her small form. I hated how weak I had sounded but dammit all, I was losing my girl to someone named fucking "Casper."
"I'm sorry Edward." she said finally dragging her eyes up from the floors and meeting my own. "What can I do baby? Tell me please! I'll do anything... just don't leave." I replied while wildly running my fingers through my hair in attempt to calm my shaking self. She walked over to me slowly, raising a small hand to still my efforts. I pulled away from her. Alice's' hand fell down to her side and she started to walk pass me.
"I love you I'm just not in love with you anymore." She breathed out with her back to me.
Five years. Gone.
I couldn't think I just stared at the spot where she previously stood hoping this was some sick fucking joke. Or some terrible nightmare I'd soon wake up from. But we can't all be that lucky.
"Don't go Ally..." my voice was strained and still foreign to my ears. She replied back with no feeling this time, "Someone will be here in an hour for my things." I heard her Jimmy Choos' clicking towards our door for the last time. She paused at the door "He really is a great guy Edward. I hope you can find someone to love you the way he does me." And with that she pulled the door closed slowly. Just then my knees choose to give way. What the fuck was I going to do? The most important person in my life had just left me. I was fucking going to propose this weekend at my Mother and Fathers twenty-eighth wedding anniversary. I had bought the ring and everything. I was going to go over to her step-fathers' to ask for his blessing. (Because her real father had drank himself to death.)
How could I have read our relationship so incorrectly! I felt as though some one had tied a blindfold around my eyes and put me in front of the train tracks. Think Edward there are always signs. I searched and searched my memory, but nothing came up that would have warranted any investigation. I sat there in that exact spot just thinking, minutely aware of the movers that came and took the many boxes of shoes, clothes, and accessories that belonged to Alice. My phone went off a multitude of times though I was still in too much shock to answer it, so I pulled t out of my back pocket and threw it a the across the living room narrowly missing the window. Watching blankly as it shattered on the floor in pieces.
I felt like my chest was breaking in half. I couldn't stop the tears that fell or the wrenching ache.
This was my life. I thought. Little did I know It would get better but still never change all in the same breath.
Hours or days had passed I wasn't really aware seeing as the only time I removed myself from my spot, was to grab the Tequila from out of the liquor cabinet and to drag myself to the restroom; to either throw up or try to steady myself enough to actually piss in the toilet.
I remember faintly, some one coming in and putting me in the bed.
"Fuck Eddy you stink bro." a voice said as I grunted not wanting to wake up to what I was sure would be the worst hang-over of my life. "Go away Emmett." I rasped out with my throat feeling like little shards of glass were erected as I spoke. "Dude I am not leaving until you get up and at least take a shower." he said with light mirth in his voice.
"Ughhh alright." I said sitting up way to fast for my mind to catch up to my bodys' actions, because I felt like I was on a fucking merry-go-round.
"Shit! you look like shit." Emmett said with true concern which must have meant that I really did look bad, seeing as he was always anything but serious. "Thanks asshole." I said while I went to close the curtains to stop the evil day light from boring into my eye sockets.
I didn't want to deal with this shit... But I didn't have a fucking choice although drinking myself into an early grave actually didn't sound half bad.
Maybe I could get Alice back...
I had been so naive. I laughed a humourless laugh as I ran my hand through my hair trying to tame it some what. i grabbed my jacket and keys and was out the door for another torturous evening in the dating pool.
A/N: This is a one shot about 2 more chapters to go though. THANK YOU FOR READING! Please REVIEW!