A/N: I randomly was inclined to write an all dialog fic so here it is. All you need to know is that Ulquiorra and Orihime are both living a flat together and, well, that's it :P inspiration goes to my adorable baby cousin Davin!
"Ulquiorra!"
"Yes, woman?"
"You killed my fire truck!"
"What could you possibly mean by that?"
"Well, there's a giant hole in the floor where it used to be and you're the only one capable of shooting giant beams of energy in the vicinity!"
"….."
"What do you have to say for yourself? I can't leave you alone for five minutes while I'm making dinner without you blowing something up!
"For starters, it's an inanimate object so-"
"It WAS an inanimate object. Now it's just dead…"
"I can't kill an inanimate object. Secondly, those concoctions of yours can hardly be considered dinner."
"….."
"Glaring won't change the state of your toy or your lack of cooking skills."
"… So why did you kill it?"
"….."
"Well?"
"It wouldn't stop making the siren noise…"
"… REALLY?"
"….."
"Why didn't you just ask for help?"
"You were in the kitchen and I thought it would be easy to ignore till you came in to fix it. I now see that my initial solution didn't work…"
"I just thought you were playing with it so I ignored the noise! Poor Mrs. Jessica…"
"You named your fire truck?"
"No, Mrs. Jessica is the woman who lives in the flat below us!"
"Maybe that woman should've made a wiser decision in choosing to live right below the cuatro Espada."
"She doesn't know you're an Espada!"
"Her ignorance is her own fault."
"….."
"Again with the glare?"
-thisisaline- thisisaline- thisisaline- thisisaline- thisisaline- thisisaline- thisisaline- thisisaline- thisisaline-
"We are gathered here today to mourn a dearly beloved friend, companion, gift-"
"What in Aizen's name are you doing woman?"
"Having a funeral."
"….."
"What's with the look Ulqui?"
"I thought Mrs. Jessica was out yesterday…"
"Oh she was! This is for my fire truck."
"I made sure I left no trace of that trash."
"There wasn't anything left. It's the thought that counts."
"So it is."
"You know you owe me a fire truck, right?"
"….."
A/N: Review please! Those who do get cyber cookies and hugs! Go on. The button is your friend O.o