Emma had heard that pregnancy got worse the older you got. However she'd always thought that this applied to geriatric mothers, women at least over forty. Sadly she seemed sorely mistaken.

The first time she got pregnant she was a young 17 year old. Taking away the emotional aspects of the experience; being abandoned in prison, she had a relatively easy pregnancy. The physical affects were slim to none, her body coping better than average. She wished she'd taken the time to enjoy it; instead of just regretting her, and her child's, very existence. Her labour with Henry was blessedly quick.

The second time she got pregnant she was 30 years old. Her support network had grown significantly. Being surrounded by her loved ones, especially the father of her child, allowed her to actually enjoy the life changing time. However she did feel more tired than before. And she was sure those people, who cared so much about her, probably got the backlash of her raging hormones. Her labour with Hope was, how'd you say, eventful. In the end she got to hold her new-born baby, admittedly not straight away, but she still got to indulge in that new baby smell. Best of all; she got to bring her baby home with her, care for her and raise her.

The third time she got pregnant she was 34 years old. It was the first time that she had actually planned to have a child. It was a big decision to make, a long time in the discussion stage. After the emotional strain of her first pregnancy topped with the physical difficulties with her second labour, Emma felt like the third time could be testing fate. Her husband was understanding to a fault, letting her address her issues in her own time. Once they were both happy with adding to their family, it couldn't happen soon enough for them. Storybrooke was peaceful enough to allow the Jones' to bask in their blissful glow of a new happy beginning. That is, until it got tugged out right from under them 6 months later.

Emma had been experiencing certain twinges in her abdomen since she woke that morning. She'd laid in bed slightly longer than usual, sshing her unborn child in an attempt to soothe its apparent distress. Her efforts did seem to take some affect as the twinges became less painful, just slightly irritating. Hearing Killian pottering about downstairs made her jump into action. She didn't want him worrying and fussing over her, not when she was sure that it was nothing. So she got herself up, slowly so as not to disturb her baby more than necessary.

"Mommy, can I have pancakes? Daddy say it up to you..." A sweet voice rang through the spray of shower water. Emma felt a warmth flood through her at her toddler's obvious pleading tone.

"It's fine with me." Emma called back as she washed the last of her conditioner out of her hair.

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you." Hope's voice got progressively quiet as she ran excitedly out of her parents room. Emma shook her head as she rubbed her swollen stomach, the warm water seeming to do her a world of good. She got dressed for her shift at the station before making her way down to her family.

"Alright love?" Killian asked from his seat at the kitchen table. Hope looked up at her mother's entrance, giving her a big syrup-covered smile.

Emma merely hummed in reply as she took the chair next to her daughter. Killian gave a sceptical eyebrow at her non-committal of an answer.

"I am, promise." Emma took a hold of her husband's hand, earning her a smile in response. She could tell that he wasn't whole convinced. Mercifully he let it go and went back to listening to their little girl's constant chatter.

After easting their breakfast they all left the house together. Emma watched her husband and daughter walking hand in hand down the street. Then she got in her car and drove off on her day, trying to ignore her sense of foreboding.

Emma felt uncomfortable all morning. The twinges started to return around 11, becoming slightly painful again within minutes. Sighing, she gave in and called Dr Whale. He heard her explanation of her symptoms and, after asking a few routine questions, told her that it shouldn't be anything to worry about. He arranged for her to have an appointment the following morning. Until then she was to go home and get some rest, no objections. Emma reluctantly agreed. So when David came to cover her lunch break, she asked if he could start a little earlier to include the end of her shift.

"Of course I will, Emma. Are you alright?" David's voice was laced with worry, as his daughter wasn't one to admit that she wasn't well easily.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just the baby giving me a hard time that's all. Before you say anything, I rang Dr Whale and he said this is a precaution. I've got an appointment tomorrow." Emma placated her father enough to allow her to drive herself home without calling Killian. When she got home she went upstairs and lay down; making good use of the TV they'd recently installed.

#

"Swan?" Killian's voice woke her from her impromptu nap and she snapped her eyes open. Killian had concern etched into his features as he regarded his pregnant wife.

"Killian?" Emma shook her head to rid herself of the sleep fog. "What time is it?"

"Gone 3, we just got back. Are you alright? Your father texted to let me know that you went home." Emma tried to refrain from rolling her eyes; of course he did. "I'm sorry I didn't see it till I left to get Hope, it's been a bit manic today. How are you feeling, love?" Emma went to sit up, with Killian's hand coming to aid her in the simple act. After retelling practically word for word what she had told her father, Killian agreed to let her rest. Not before making sure that she would call him if she needed anything.

Emma let the TV drone on through some repeat of the Real Housewives, which she would never admit to actually getting invested in. Not long after Killian left, a little head of blonde curls bounced into the room. Emma barely registered the newcomer before she was face to face with a pair of huge blue eyes.

"Hi Mommy." The girl placed her hands gently on her mother's cheeks.

"Hey sweetie." Emma pulled her girl into a hug, feeling the child relax against her. They snuggled in silence for a moment, which was unusual for Hope Swan-Jones. She felt a small sigh against her chest. "Everything ok, there?" Her child just snuggled into her chest further. She started carding her fingers through her daughter's hair. "Hope, remember how I say you can tell Mommy anything."

"Daddy say you're not well." The little whisper reached her ears and Emma turned off the TV.

"Oh I'll be ok, sweetie, don't worry." She lifted the little girl's face seeing tears shine in the blue orbs.

"Is it the baby?" The girl looked at the blonde's stomach wearily. "The baby making you sick."

"Sweetie, the baby doesn't mean it. It's just something that happens while the baby's getting ready." Emma wiped away the tear that escaped down her daughter's cheek. "I promise you, I'll be alright." The girl seemed to accept this and returned to the chatty toddler Emma was used to. As Hope started to recall her tales from her day at Glass Slippers, Ashely's Day-care and Nursery centre, Emma allowed herself this moment of peace. She quickly realised that the painful twinges had increased both in occurrence and intensity. Focusing on keeping her breathing steady, she subtly rubbed her abdomen. Tears blurred her vision as the pain didn't let up. She didn't mean to but she let out a pained gasp as a sharp stabbing ripped through her. Hope looked up with scared wide eyes.

"Mommy?" Emma's heart broke at the frightened note of her daughter's voice.

"Hope." She breathed through the pain. "Can you-" a sob broke out, causing tears to fall from both girl's eyes. "-get Daddy for Mommy."

"I won't leave Mommy." Hope sniffed defiantly.

"Please." Emma bent double at another stab of pain. She was sobbing uncontrollably now. "Please sweetie."

"OK, Mommy. I going." The little girl ran down the stairs as fast as her legs would carry her. The downstairs area was completely empty and Hope started to cry in earnest. "Daddy? DADDY!"

Killian was out the back in the shed, using cleaning as an outlet for his emotions. He was scrubbing down his workstation when he heard a high pitched sound from outside. Wiping his brow, the pirate made his way out of the shed. He stood in his backyard for a few still silent moments. Suddenly a distressed cry reached his ears. Breaking into a run towards the house, his heart began to pound.

"DADDY?!" Hope turned towards the back door when it opened. She ran full pelt towards her father, colliding into his legs.

"What is it? Are you hurt?" Killian picked up his daughter in his arms, heart in his mouth, as he checked her over for injuries.

"M-mo-mommy" The little girl choked out the word in a way that made Killian's blood run cold. Clutching her to his chest he took the stairs two at a time.

"Emma?" Killian entered their room to find his wife doubled over in agony. He could feel Hope shaking in his arms.

"Killian?" Emma looked up at her husband and their child. "It hurts. Please..." Killian put Hope on the bed so he could get his phone out. He rang for an ambulance; something he'd never had to do before, something he'd wished he'd never have to do. He tried to keep calm as he talked to the paramedics, for everyone's sake. "They're on their way Emma." He kept the connection going like he had been told, putting it on speaker phone to free his hand. Killian pulled Hope to him in an attempt to calm his child.

"Killian… get her out… I-I don't want her… to see…" Emma gasped out between sobs. The little girl clasped her father tighter at her mother's words.

"I don't think she's going to leave you, love." Killian laid his head on the mess of blonde curls, breathing in his daughter. He shifted the girl in his arms so that he could reach for Emma's phone. With a bit of difficulty he managed to dial the number he was looking for. The recipient picked up after the first ring.

"Killian?"

"Dave, listen I've had to call an ambulance for Emma." Killian felt hot tears slip down his cheeks.

"What? What happened? Christ-" Killian could hear commotion on the other end and assumed that the prince was already on his way.

"Look I'm going to go with her, but Hope's here so I was wondering if you-" Killian's heart was breaking for his family; Emma, their unborn child, Hope. The little shaking toddler in his lap was the only one that he felt any power to help.

"I'm on my way." David sounded out of breath as he hung up the phone. Killian lifted Hope's face in his hand, fresh tears appearing at the level of anguish he saw there. He was ready to explain to her what was going to happen when the doorbell rang. He cradled Hope to him as he ran to let the paramedics in.

"She's upstairs." He breathed as they rushed past him. "Please help her."

"We'll do our best, sir." The woman shouted as they disappeared out of the sight. Killian took a moment in the quiet of the downstairs, taking comfort from having one child safe in his arms. He caught sight of David running up the porch steps.

"Hook?" David stopped at the sight of his son-in-law and granddaughter.

"David, I…" Killian was suddenly lost for words, his emotions blocking them in his throat.

"Got to her." The prince reached out to take the girl into his arms. She shook her head clenching her fists tightly into the lapels of her father's jacket.

"Please, little love, I need you to be brave for Daddy." Hope raised her eyes to look into his, loosening her hold ever so slightly. "Mommy needs me to go with her. We need to know you're safe. Grandad will take care of you, just like I'll take care of Mommy and the baby."

"Promise?" A small hand came up to lay on Killian's scruff. The sweet gesture almost brought him to his knees.

"I promise, princess." Killian swiped the blonde curls out of the way so that he could lay a kiss to her forehead. He knew it was a promise he honestly couldn't make, but he was going to try with everything he had. Reluctantly the young girl allowed her Grandad to take her away from her father, just as the paramedics arrived at the top of the stairs with Emma between them. "Emma?" He ran to meet her, noticing the blood that stained her jeans.

"Killian." Emma breathed weakly, breaking from the strangers' holds to fall into her husband's. The medics explained that they needed to take her to the hospital. At Emma's request for him to assist her, Killian scooped Emma into his arms and carried her down the stairs.

"Mommy? MOMMY!" Hope struggled to get free of her Grandad's hold, but was held tightly to him.

"Sweetie. I'll see… you soon…" Emma sobbed at her daughter's cries. She wanted nothing more than to hold her in her arms, to take away the pain this was causing her. At that Killian took her down to the ambulance and they drove away in a flurry of flashing lights. The loud siren made Hope clasp her hands over her ears.

#

Emma had been given something for the pain at the house, so by the time she was in a hospital bed it had kicked in. That just allowed for the emotional pain to hit her full force. She cried for her children. She cried for her child yet to be born, who now might never be. She cried for her child that she had left at home, unable to soothe her tears. She cried for her child that she gave up, who had grown up without her. Killian held her hand tight in his, not wanting to let her go for a second. His left arm rested across her stomach, in an attempt to keep them both from what could happen.

Tests were run. Results were collected. An ultrasound was conducted. And when the doctor finally told them that there was nothing anyone could do, the parents wept for the child they would never know.

The surgery was arranged mercifully quickly. Killian refused to let go of his wife's hand until it was absolutely necessary, walking with them to the operating room. Once there he had to be asked several times before he released his grip.

"Killian. Please. I don't want to do this." Emma's broken plea forces a sobbing gasp from Killian. He crouches down next to her, sweeping her sweaty hair from her forehead.

"Emma. We have to. I'm… I'm so sorry." Killian brings their joined hands to his lips, laying kisses to her hand. "You're so strong. You can do this." He clasped her hand tightly, as if willing his strength into her. "It'll all be over soon."

"I don't want it to be over." Emma cried out, as the surgeon came to join them. "I want my… want our… b-baby."

"We're ready for you, now, Emma. We're just waiting for the anaesthetist and then-" The surgeon had a solemn air about him; he was able to feel the couple's heartbreak radiating off of them.

"No." Emma shook her head violently. "I want to feel it. I want to remember it."

"Swan-"

"Mrs Jones-"

"The painkillers I'm on will be enough." Emma turned to Killian, using the last bit of fire she had in her to get this. This small bit of control over this seemingly senseless trauma. "I'll be… I'll…" She struggled to find the right word. Cause she wouldn't be ok. She wasn't sure if she'd ever be ok again. But she would survive.

"Alright." Killian sighed seeing the determination in his wife's eyes. It was fainter than usual, but it was there.

"You can go in with her, if you want to." The nurse told Killian after having a word with the doctor. The couple felt like they had been thrown some sort of lifeline. Killian let go of his wife's hand just long enough for him to get scrubbed up. Then they went into the theatre, towards the toughest experience of their life.

Emma refused to let go of Killian's hand as her body was racked with sobs. She felt no physical pain, her body felt numb. It was like an out of body experience. Like this was happening to someone else. Or it was just an awful dream. She squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself to wake up. To wake up to her beautiful daughter shaking her awake, to her baby kicking her to get her attention, to her husband kissing her sweetly on the lips. She allowed these images to wash over her, even allowing a small part of her to believe that maybe it could be true. Then she opened her eyes to see her true love staring at her with a mixture of worry and anguish.

The surgery went without any further complications and, before either of them were ready, the nurse was holding their baby in her arms. "Would you like to hold her?"

Emma knew that the only thing worse than holding her dead child, was not holding them. She nodded her head as she held out her arms as best she could.

"Her?" Killian croaked out, only now registering the woman's words. The nurse nodded in confirmation as she handed the child, wrapped in a blanket, over to her mother. The infant was tiny, even smaller than Hope had been when she entered the world.

"Hey baby girl." Emma sobbed as she used her hand to stroke the baby's fingers. She was so small that the blonde worried about hurting her. Her heart shattered even more when she realised that that wasn't possible. So much so that she didn't ever think the shards could be put back together again.

"She's perfect." Killian breathed as he raised his finger to the baby's cheek.

"I can't let her go." Emma cried as she rested her head on her husband's shoulder. If she kept holding her, cradling her against her, then maybe they wouldn't have to face reality. That this was the first, the last, the only time she would get to hold her daughter.

"I'm so sorry." Killian wept into his wife's hair, keeping contact with the tiny little girl. Neither knew how long they stayed like that for, letting their love and grief for their child flow between them. After some time, Emma handed the lifeless child back to the nurse. She requested to get discharged as soon as possible. Killian stood by her. They understood it was against the doctor's recommendations, but they needed to leave the hospital. They needed to go home.

While the nurses got Emma ready to leave, Killian stepped outside to ring her father. That was when he allowed himself to completely break down. Waves of grief cascaded through him as the events of the past few hours caught up with him. After allowing himself those few minutes he once again pushed his emotions as below the surface as they'd go; which wasn't as far as he would have wanted. David picked up straight away, worry with a hint of hope to his tone. Killian explained what had happened in as few words as possible. The conversation was short, which suited both of the men. The pirate then rushed to re-join his wife.

"Your father's on his way." Killian clutched his wife's hand as he sat beside her bed. Emma barely registered his presence, he was unsure whether she'd heard him at all. She was staring at the bag of her clothes that the nurse had brought in. Killian followed her gaze, his heart clenching at the spots of blood visible. He was thankful that David had offered to bring a change of clothes.

David arrived swiftly, a stoic expression on his face as he took in his son-in-law. The sight of his daughter lying on the hospital bed broke his resolve. The prince closed his eyes against the onslaught of tears, knowing that they needed him to be strong for them. Killian helped Emma change and walked out of the room. David rushed to his daughter's side, supporting her other arm.

"Dad?" Emma seemed to only then notice her father's presence.

"I'm here, Princess." David's voice was thick with emotion as they walked towards his truck.

"But... but Hope...?" Emma stopped in her tracks and stared at the men with wide eyes. She needed to know that one of her babies was safe.

"Is with your mother. We took her to the house. We'll have her tonight." He grasped his daughter's shoulders.

"Thank you." Emma's voice barely made it to a whisper. David shook his head as he pulled her into a hug, cradling the back of her head as it rested on his shoulder. The drive home was in complete silence. They all felt numb, unable to process the tragedy yet.

Killian walked Emma into the house slowly, watching her pained movements. They made their way to the downstairs guest room, an unspoken feeling that neither of them wanted to return to the bedroom. Killian resolved to clean up the room before Emma woke in the morning. She crawled into bed straight away, hugging a pillow to her chest. Killian was unsure of how to help her so he got himself ready for bed. He caught sight of himself in the mirror. He looked more drained than he had ever seen himself in over 200 years of life.

Killian splashed water in his face before returning to his wife. She tucked up against him as soon as he was under the covers. He ssshed her cries as she grasped to him as if her life depended on it. Blessedly the sheer tiredness took over Emma quickly and she was claimed by sleep. Killian continued to cradle her against him, as he gently wept for the child that would never get the chance to live.